A little A, a little B

God. Hearing Betty White say Cockring never gets old..

Holy shit! Check out this insanely fast drinker!

Here is a handy website to help figure out how many miles per dollar your car gets. Kind of a neat way to look at it, It will also figure out how much your daily drive to work is costing you.

Check out this steerable Wifi Cantenna. Pretty bad ass. I want one!!

I think pretty much everyone realizes that car repair shops scam the shit out of you, but its kinda nice to see them get busted at it...

I laughed pretty hard atthis video of a couple of students pulling a PAc Man Prank..

THis is a SCAREY HUGE yellow jacket nest....

Just in case you haven't heard of Bump Keying yet, its some pretty scarey shit....

Ugh.. Well.. I think I am going to go play a little AdvancedWars DS and then try to get some sleep. I have a ton more links that didn't make it into this post. Hopefully tommorow night.

Till then my tender lumplings.

Its so much better when everyone is in.

Is ScroToss the game of the Future?! Check out this link for more information on everyones favorite Faux scrotum tossing game!

Oh my god. I seriously badly want to make myself a Bannana Phone.. Boop boo ba doo ba doop,

Oh god. I think every computer should be equipped with a USB BBQ!!!

Holy Shit. I'm the #4 hit on google for mausterbating!!!!111!

Ooooo.I want one of these... No.. Not the wife that cooks.. Just the apron!

What?! Dead rising is still killing Xbox 360s. Say it ain't so, the only reason to buy a XboxPoop60 is putting too much stress on the dual core processors.. Hmmm. I've been playing it for allmost a week now and can't say my systems died from it yet.. Its worth playing the odds for!!!

Oh when the Meth Comes Marching In. Ever wonder what the Wu Tang clan would sound like mixed with Some dixie style jazz? If so, check out Wu Orleans. Torrent here if your interested.

OK.. ok.. Maybe VideoJug isn't the best name for a Website based on video tutorials. Half Make, Half Youtube. Its a great idea.. But man.. spend a little time picking out the name.. VideoJugs sounds like a low rent porn site.. Especially when the first tutorial that comes up when I load it is "How to pitch a pop-up tent" followed by "how to juggle three balls"

This link is for Scott, cause I know he loves him some flash sand games. This one is called "Hell of Sand"

Kung-fu Vs. Yoga! Who will win in this match?!

From the new Cracked I have yet to check out, Winnie The Poo Meets Deadwood. The 100 Acre Deadwoods

MAn.. I cannot believe I waited this long to post this. The new transforms look like FUCKING ASS!!!! There. I said it. Its goign to suck. Its going to suck hard. LOOK AT THIS SHIT! GoBots could kick their asses now..

Here is a Conan skit about Rejected X-men characters. I hadn't seen this before. Found it while watching the kick ass Intro to the 2006 Emmys. Check out parts one and Two of that!!!

And to wrap up this short post:
Beer: The Midwife of Civilization. A good read about the history of our liquid friend.

Ooops.. Allmost forgot. Your BLECH OF THE DAY..

Fuckin Snorlax OWNS!

Are there computer programs that can be used to secretly fix elections?
Yes.

How do you know that to be the case?
Because in October of 2000, I wrote a prototype for Congressman Tom Feeney [R-FL]...

It would rig an election?
It would flip the vote, 51-49. Whoever you wanted it to go to and whichever race you wanted to win.

And would that program that you designed, be something that elections officials... could detect?
They'd never see it.

Fuckers......

You don't know dick about pokemon!

Got a big scarey doberman and want to disguise it? Get this poodle disguise kit!

How about anice picture of the Last Supper with all Starwarss characters in it?

This guy ATTEMPTS TO EAT A 5 LB BURGER WITH 54 TOPPINGS IN UNDER 30 MINUTES

Awww look at the cuddley wuddley wittle zwombies.. awww

Man, Every day more and more I consider moving my family to canada. Our plant has a sister plant about a hour from Toronto, and I would be about dead in the middle of My family in NY, and Jamies family here in Ohio. I get sick of listening to the people I work with saying backwards ass shit.

Here are some good examples of recent conversations I have been sucked into at work and basically had my entire office dismiss my disagreeing with them:

"We should stop allowing people from other Nations to come to America, and all the immagrates should be forced by law to speak English as their native language"

"We should just nuke Iraq and kill everyone there"

"I don't know why we have to worry about getting our Oil from the middle east, theres TONS IN ALASKA"

"There should be a law against singing the National Anthem in any language except for english"

"People do not live as long now as they did in the past"

I've taken to putting head phones at work, but I don't know how long I will be allowed to do that. I can't stand 9-11 hours of Country music a day, followed by that fucking bullshit Jingoism and patriotic cock waving.

Here are those cuddley zombies I promised! Look at them dammit. So cute!! More here in this Flickr set.

I think I posted this a few years ago, but this site streams the audio from movies for you to listen to.

HEre are two good Kevin Smith videos for you. One is him talking about his worst sexual experience, and the other one, is him playing Rock Paper Scissors at wizard world, and if he loses he will reveal his next project..

MAnaMana I allways thought it was Rolf that sang that..

Talking to Americans CBC Special f/ Rick Mercer
Congratulations CAnada our Neighbors to the south!

Bring me the head of Charlie Brown!! And on that page I stumbled across this crazy german rap video again day and thought I would share it again with all of you.

Baby Rock Records! All your favorite bands music for your baby!
Be sure to check out the lullabye versions of your favories:
Radiohead
Metallica
Tool
Nirvana
The Cure
The Pixies
And many more....

OhMiBod, the perfect iPod accessorie for all of you female music fans!

Throwing this out there in the middle of the post, here is your BLECH OF THE DAY  Of course check the gallery for best results

CHeck out the crazy artwork drawn in the dust on cars!

Homestar Runner is 10 years old today! (Note, its the 10th year annivsery of the comic book that spawned Homestar, not the actually flash animations themselves)

Nice! the featured article today on wikipedia is about The Watchmen! Awesome comic series!! Alan Moore is a fucking genius!

In case you really need 10000 reasons, at leas the world didn't end today.

This is now officially the most fucking insane japanese TV Show ever!! Holy shit thats fucking funny!

Check out thenew Weird Al song.  His new album is called "Straight Outta Lynwood" and should be out soon

These tetris Fridge Magnets are bad as as all hell!! I want!

Print out these awesome First Person Shooter glasses and feel like your in a FPS EVERYWHERE YOU GO!!

Oh yes, the greatest video game movie of all times is finally out on DVD!

Here is a link for my man Bruceson at work.

Just cause everything is cooler with LEDS!

HOBO NICKLES!! YAY!!!

Finally. I can get my drink on, no matter how rought the terrain!

God fucking Bless America!!!!! I heard about this today on the country station at work, and they were proud of it, and defending him. blah.

Well, its time for me to go check out the Bad Day LA demo that just came out, tweak my fonts on this site, then I think its off to bed.

Snootchie Bootchie

Right to the links. No smarmy asshole things to say today.

Check out this sweet acoustic cover of Hey Ya. Allmost as good as the Hey Ya charlie video.

Here is a website with some of Bill Waterson's (Calvin and Hobbes) rarest stuff

If only I had a shark to attach this to.

Man, somethings awful is exposing the worst of the AOL search logs in their typical fashion. Parts 1 and two. These are so good I cried from laughing so hard.

Wow. This guy drifting has to be one of the stupidest fuckers I have ever seen on the internets. Rule Number 1 of drifting, Stay in the car!!!

Final boarding call for Mr Terrorist, and Mr Al Kyder

Dear Insurance adjuster. I know this sounds crazy, but recently my car was smashed by a giant flying tire. Here is a video, PLz send my L3wt

For a low low low price of 6 bucks you can get your own personalized glass bottle of Heinz Ketchup!

WTF?! You can train gold fish??!?!?!?!?!?!?!111

Proverbs which also work the other way around

Once again its time for the corpse flower to bloom!

Two cool photography links for the price of one

The onion lampoons Wikipedia. Pretty funny

I was showing this awesome Pool trick to everyone I could this weekend. Its Genius!

I don't think I have ever posted about the wonderful Dorodango, or shiney balls of dirt. I want to make one before summer is over.

Here is a rather funny clip from family feud. God I love dumb people.

That about wraps it up for this post kiddies. Got to do a little more work on this PC I am fixing for a guy a work, then its time to pack it in for the night.

Lator Gators.

Lets play a game

Write down random combinations of words on little strips of paper and shove them in your pocket. At the start of your day pull one out, and see how many times during your day you can fit it into conversation in a manner that makes it sound like some deviant sex act. Today mine was "Mexican Pole Vaulting". Watch the look on peoples faces when you do this, and act like everyone should know what it means to slip someone the "dangly burrito".

New site design is up.. I still don't know if I am happy with the text colors. I may still dork around some with it.

LINKS!

TACOHOLIC MS PAINT Masterpieces for preserving the mental sanity of the working drone.

I hope this factory keeps OOmpa Loompas on site.

Two big news items today for World of Warcraft players.

Something awful has a Dead Rising Strategy guide that's fucking fantastic! Also everyone needs one of these Zombie Preparedness kits to hang on their wall and make the world a safer place!

Oh yes. Its the Poke' Polka!!!

4 sale One New Species A++++ FREE SHIPPING!!!!

Yes kids. Even Madonna's Camel Toe has its own MySpace page!

Lots of news today about the Transformers movie! And how they are going to ruin it!!

This is quite possibly the most poorly formed argument against the Xbox360 EVAR!

And to cap this short one off. Ninja Loves Pirate! A fun game for you to enjoy!

Defragging - Therapy for Robots

Ugh.

I feel like poo today. Had to go to work early and give some training. I know computers have only been around what.. 25 years now (Happy belated PC by the way). Why the LIVING FUCK don't more people know how to use them yet? I mean.. people in jobs where they have to use the fucking things day in and day out cannot fucking use them. It makes my heart sad when I have to train 30 people who fucking make excel documents EVERY FUCKING DAY over and over and over again how to not make excel documents that are 50megs+ and email them back and forth.

OK. With that out of my system on with the links. Get and drink and get comfy. This is gonna be a long one.

Thank you for fucking dieing already. I definitely won't be missing hearing about you phantom.

Here's a funny little bit involving tetris. I think I may get one of the Japanese guys at work to translate this for me and it will probably be even more funny.

I always loved doing shit like this when I was younger and had time to go camping all the time Check out these two links to make your own altoid tin survival kit.

This is what happens when you get too much junk mail and have WAY too much time on your hands. Pretty cool though.

Clell Tickle: Dreammaker, Indie Marketing Guru, Psychopath?

Multiphonic chanting, Throat Singing, Whatever you call it, there are some awesome links about it in this metafilter thread. No mention of the Bjork Album that featured it heavily.

Check out this killer pool trick. A guy uses a nickel on the table to split two balls.

Hey xbox fanboys, Check out what can happen if your fancy pants 360 users more then one core at a time.. I still plan on getting one next week just for that game though..

Apparently CRACKED magazine has relaunched with a new format, with some heavy writers on board now too. I may have to hunt this down. 3.99 for 80 pages CHEAP!
Wait.. I just finished the reading the preview and this line fucking SOLD ME:
New Comics by: Get Your War On and My New Fighting Technique Is Unstoppable's David Rees
Yeah. I know GYWO is in every issue of Rolling stones, but its toned down and not as good. Ok, fine.. Where's my change jar!

Glad that David Copperfield finally went Nunshittingly insane.

Samuel L. Jackson on the daily show talking about Mother Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane!

OOOoooo Today's Worth1000 Photoshop contest was "remixing M.C. Echoer" definitely worth a click.

Stephen Colbert is here to help us all protect our online identity on the internets.

Reggie spills the beans about the free online portion of the Wii, and more details of their strategy. Like I needed more reasons to buy this thing. Wireless and online out of the box for no extra money, and my poor gamer ass may be able to afford it.

Two cool clips, One a tank full of Piranhas, the other is just kinda sick.

I hate the price is right. Hate it. This clip is awesome though. This is quite possibly the worst player ever! I swear Bob Barker is calling her a Stupid Douche at the end of the clip..

I was telling one of my friends about these blacklight tattoos awhile back. Pretty cool idea.

Mmmm. I loves me some Mandelbrot. Sweet little video. Fractals have always amazed me. I enjoyed this immensely. I used to have a sweet fractal screensaver back in the days of windows3.1, when afterdark was King!

I am just replaying Dungeon Siege 2 in preparation to get Broken world. This kinda disgusts me though.

This Optimus Prime felt puppet is fucking killer! I need to make one of these, and one of the Chewey ones too!!

Could this be one of the greatest films of our time?! Could the battle between this and SOAP (snakes on a plane) mean the end times are near?

Do you have lots of little barcode "club" cards on your keychain? Use this slick little site to combine them all into one!

I thought this was a pretty fun read. The missing body parts of 10 Famous People.

Here's a neat new coke commercial. Quite slick.

Thanks to the Japanese, I have yet another reason not to poop in public toilets.. Besides weird poo monsters.

I found this video of the Treadmill Bike somewhat discomforting to watch. It somehow moves in a "not right" manner.

I Was going to post this link and call it good enough on the subject of Remade NES consoles. But then I remembered I had a link buried deep in the "Bookmarks of Doom" that I have been cultivating since 1999. So I present you a even more kick ass NES replacement with wireless controllers! Plus they have robots on their site, so guess who wins?

Just in case you ever wanted to make a boat out of paper, MAKE has you covered.. I guess this combined with the paper tank I posted higher up you would be set for a small scale invasion.

Holy shit!!I want a slip and slide like these fuckers!

What do you do with a 500Lb rubber band ball? Smash the fuck out of your car!!

Just because its:
Funny
Cool
Dumb

Check out some of the upcoming features for blogger. I've been gay for blogger for years, Some of these sound extra sweet!

Oh oh oh oh I saved this for the end of the post. TECH TV REBORN! official press release here. UndoTV I love you already!!!

And finally a little tiny BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!! check the gallery on that one.

Ok, well that's it for this one kids. Time for me to squeeze it off and call it a post. Now I am gonna go mess with some PHP goodness.

***UPdate. I was spell checking this post with Windows Live Writes built in spell checker and check out these suggestions it gave me:
fuckign - ducking
gonna - gonad
poo - pogo
shit - shift
Dreammaker - Dressmaker
Bjork - Jerk
fanboy - annoy
Nunshittingly - Nauseatingly
remixing - premixing
Wii - WWII
Mandelbrot - Cancelbot
Optimus - Optimism
blogger - logger or booger

What the fuck is a Cancelbot? Is it cooler then fractals?

Thoughtcream for your browser!

Now with crunchy zombie bits in ever post.

I saw that Windows Live Writer went into beta today at work, so I grabbed and and I am "semi" impressed so far. Its not too bad. It was pretty slick the way it grabbed all my current settings and whatnot from blogger and ported them over rather smoothly.

I had been using a windows front end for blogger for some time, so the realm of WLR is not too much of a stretch for me. I have allways found w.bloggar to work really well.

Going through my daily reads, I see that Cory is also checking out WLR. Hmmm.. If hes adopting it this early it must be decent.

On with the links!!!

Here is a clip from the daily show, of John Stewart Interviewing Kermit the Frog.

Why has it taken this long for modern clothing technology to come up with a solution to plumbers crack?!

This digg post may interest any of you comic book fans.

Just in case you ever wanted to know how to make a giant rubber band ball.

Just cause I knows all my homeys loves them some engrish.

Welcome to Endgame :: World War on Google Maps.

This video is called "Need more Bass" I think they are completely wrong.

These clips of all the shows we grew up loving should keep you busy for quite awhile.

Who has two thumbs and loves video of people doing things played in reverse???? THis guy<<<<<

Here is a excellent reason not to drink TOO heavily and bowl. Or to bowl at all I guess..

I thought this prank was quite funny. Yeah I know the whole general idea has been done before. But deal with it!

I think this is quite possibly the greatest laptop case EVER. If someone got me one I could die a happy happy man.

It would be criminal to not mention Gary Larsons Birthday today. Mental Floss does him justice! Adding Mental Floss to Daily sites to check right now...

Ok.. Off to work on the redesign a bit before bed. TTFN MOFOS!

ME, You, Together we make a Spork

Five Fat Girls Sought. Cops report "flurry of chubby fists" in Toledo milk heist

The 11 weirdest ancient mysteries

Imagine for a second, if one man, took the 12 greatest interweb songs and created a medley from them. Enjoy!

If I close my eyes, can you see me? Anyone who knows me knows I love crazy ass videos that make no sense, and I love showing them to other people and the weird way they look at you after you show them, laughing the entire time about how funny the video is. But I know you watched that video and your asking. Jon.. Does it get weird. Oh fucking hell yes does it ever. Its definatly good in a weird way.. I think..


Sometimes I hate seeing Pilots for TV shows that never got picked up. Because you see how FUCKING FACE MELTINGLY AWESOME a pilot is, then you wonder why the douchebags at the stations never picked it up....

I'm sure I speak for every member of the human race when I say this. I often find myself sitting down and saying "self. How awesome of a Rapper would Rodney Dangerfield have been??" Now we know!

Beeny Royston and Jadeel, AKA the Jamacian Sweat Band. Ya Hear me now?

But Jon, what if I want nothing more today then to see someone play the Legend of Zelda song on a Ueklele? Your every wish is my command.

PS3 Vs Wii. Like I needed any more convincing.

Soy sauce.. is made from.. PEOPLE!!!

Ever want to see what it would look like if some crazy bastard went batshitinsane in your apartment complex with a sword. Well here you go.

Another quickie

Just a short one tonight kids. Lots of work to do.

I present to you several Phone Losers of America vides, Taco Bell Takeover is great!

Call be a fanboy, but I really want Nintendo Monopoly! Also be sure to check out the new cashless monopoly

I am currently checking this game out and it seems rather cool.

Hopefully a longer post will find its way on here tommorow night.
I also have a redesign in the works, and as you can see on the right.. I am refusing to call this a blog, I never did call it a blog. It has and allways will be in my opinion a E/N site. I'm taking that shit back..

Sweet holy moses I miss TechTV

I have spent my night tonight watching old tech tv clips. Its sad how far that channel has fallen. I do not even turn on G4 any more. Its dead to me.

Heres a sweet DIY guide to make a glider out of your fast food container. I may have to get some on the way to work tommorow to do this.

I don't know what they were planning on doing with them, but I am sure glad they returned them!

Short post tonight kiddies. Got lots to do for work tonight..

Boom chica chica wow

OOO I found a new site that I am really liking. Its called Evil Mad SCientist LAboraties. Check out "how to make a simple electric motor" in less then a minute. Or how to extract Rare earth Magnets out of kids toys.

I think I am going to sign up for BookMooch. It looks like a really cool service!

Check out the big Wikipedia list of Fictional curse words


Really not much else today. Kinda busy, but I want to keep postin. Enjoy!

Angels with dirty faces

Sweet god Tricky is awesome.

This is by far the coolest USB flash drive I have ever seen!

I think this would be a totally awesome place to eat

How is it that these crazy ass japanese prank shows don't get their asses sued off? If someone did this in the US it would be litagation city. This is some extra funny shit too!!

I still think this is one of the most utterly bad assed keyboards evar!


Check out this sweet video of the "bubble bandits" in action

This video is without a doubt one of the more batshit insane things I have ever seen.

The only thing better then that fact that you can get your groceries from Amazon.com is the reviews!!!

Well.. Gotta get ready to run my shadowrun game tommorow.. More later internet!

This one goes out to my homies!

Sweet fancy moses, darth vader is a dickhead!

Mmmm beer made from melting ice caps.. Tastes like apocylpse!

I am a huge Mike Mignola fan. I have been reading hellboy for years. So I need to stress to anyone that sees this GO WATCH the pilot for "The Amazing Screw-On Head" I must cling to the slightest chance that it may at some point get picked up.

Ever dread having to go that meeting that you know is just going to drag on forever and not get anything done. This website is here to help.

Man.. Steven Colbert, your the reason we can't have anything nice around here...

This is why thou shalt not fuck with moms from the suburbs with lots of free time on their hands!

You know your boss is going to catch you browsing this shit when your supposed to be wrapping up that mother fucking powerpoint presentation. So use this site to help your compulsion to check out the crazy internets

Chad Vader, Day shift manager

Check out these crazy ass racks!

Allright. I gotta go crash now. Its feeling easier each time I do it.. Like riding a bike or something.