someone HAS to buy me a BUN BUN mosquito alarm clock for mother fucking christmas!!!

ahhhhhnold likes YOSH!! Watch this and be disturbed... Holy shit! it gets worse.. Yosh turns him into a super hero!!.. this actually gets more and more bizaar.. it appears that this stuff isn't yosh... but it turns arnold small... what the fuck.. is this wonderland?

Rockwells 'someone is watching me'.. possibly a better halloween song than thriller?

Some mother fucking christmas cheer!

asdf my site is all messed up.. cause i'm a hippy and use absolute paaaaaaathhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssss blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hi! I'm Sally, and I'm Johnny, and black people love us!!!

say it one more time.. say you love me..

Nothing adds more flavor to more foods then the classic taste of FRECH'S Classic Yellow Mustard.

I couldn't think of a decent title for this post so I just copied some stuff off the back of this bottle of mustard that is sitting on my desk..

Check out this list of everything bart simpson has ever written on the blackboard..

Since I just started getting to watch TV again I recently have been seeing these new apple commercials, so I don't know how long they have been showing or if I should be suprised that the hotty stoner has her own fan site...
Also cause I like to rip on macs, here is a funny parody ad..


Scott.. You are going to fucking love this..

I think everyone needs cool 80s t-shirts like this kick ass Mr T one...


Learn to throw cards like a mofo and kills people with the ace of spades...

Well.. I gotta go make a run.. Hopefully I will be able to do a long post tommorow cause I have the day off on account of my getting double root canals...
FUN!!!

Howdy Ho Neighbors!!!

Guess who got their internet turned back on!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thats right kiddies! Its me!!!

I haven't been able to post the last couple days since I got everything hooked back up because girl has been very very very veyr sick and I have been putting all of my time and energy into helping her.. but.. i digress, most importantly I'm back.. and I got to say its good to be hooked up to the outside world.. I turn on the TV and Conan O'Brien is on Comedy central.. which is pretty cool.. I see a new guy hosting beat the geeks, and its all so new to me..

Ahhh well.. As you guys know I have a child on the way.. and most of you have been here through my whining and begging for money stages.. even though it really never paid off except for a few kind people.. Even when I was just asking for a buck a piece to make it worth my time that i was pouring into the site.. Well.. Now I with the kid on the way and the money situation being absolute shit now that I am only working part time.. I am resorting to hawking cool shit off on ebay.. Check out these listing for what I have up there right now, I'm selling it through girls brother and expect to see alot more newer stuff up there including PS2, Xbox, and gamecube games... so instead of asking for all of my good readers to just give me money.. how about you buy some of my stuff... But like I said.. keep checking it cause we will be putting new stuff on there daily..

but.. I have tommorow off.. so expect to see a long post tommorow boys and girls.. for now I have to get going to work

DAD!!!

Yeah!

Ok, I'll first start off by saying: Congradulations Jon and Girl! That kid is going to be so spoiled. lol.
Next I'll say: I might be without internet access here in a couple of days too :( It hurts!! aaahh the pain!!. I'm limping around on my dialup account for my old dsl account, but that will go down next Tuesday. And I really don't think there is a broadband provider covering the area of my new place.

Lastly I'll say: LAN Party at my place in 2 weeks(Oct 4th,5th and 6th.)
I just moved into a new place and I have TONS of freaking room. I don't know what to do with it all. So I decided to dedicate a weekend of it to a lan party. Basically anytime over the whole weekend is good. Plenty of room to crash if need be. I'll need to get a few tables/chairs. I have a 5 port hub, if someone could donate an extra one or two(there's some nice ones there at fng*hint hint* :)
Might not have internet access(as stated above).
Any and all welcome. Bring a friend or two. I should be able to fit around 18 ppl here(and more in the garage if needed). The place is real easy to get to. The hardest part would be loading/unloading your computer :D

Send interest, questions, comments, concerns, rants, raves and homosexual dinosaur porn to ntc3driver@hotmail.com

Postcards from the edge.


Hello internet. Have I mentioned you have such lovely eyes?
Anyway. Thinks have been busy.. I'm going to be a daddy.. thats right.. and I want to let you know that there were no furry suits involved with the conception.. Well.. I don't think it was that time at least...
But.. i digress.. Its for sure.. we had the blood test, now its 9 months of watching my wifes belly mature with our baby in it.. and then out pops a baby jon to terrorize the world afresh and continue my legacy of carnage and mayham...

anyway.. until i get the internet back at my house.. which will be when my money tree I planted last year starts to sprout I guess you will have to do without my witty and insane take on the going ons of the world.. in the mean time go to www.google.com and look up "Furry porn" and pretend I linked to it.. or if you really wanted me back go donate a dollar or to in the amazon thing and I will be everything I get through that towards getting the internet back..

Well.. more later my friends.. go watch Frailty if you get the jones to watch a good very spooky and well directed movie..

Update: Jon Is Offline

Hey guys, I spoke with Jon a few days ago and it appears he is going to be offline for awhile. It also seems that he may be a daddy after awhile. I havent confirmed if Jamie is pregnant or they are planning on it or not.

So posts may still trickle in from Jon and other contrib's, just keep an eye out. And in the mean time - masturbate for world peace.

Bling Blog

I fucking looooooooooooovvvvvvvvve mission hill.. I wish it was still in production.. go download all of the episodes off of kazaa and thank me later..

Affirmation Bullshit Generator for Sensitive New Age Guys

Check out the adventures of the ninja massage therepist.. Good for a quick laugh..

I think I have found the training program that the shover robots use to train to push old ladies down the stairs... Check this shit out.. the entire point of this game is to shove this guy down the stairs..

Check out this page for a big list of quotes from starwars that could be taken out of context..

Man.. I feel like such a total geek.. I am really considering takeing part in a NERO event.. I have never LARPed before and it actually sounds quite fun... There is a group in ohio and a group closer in Michigan... Anyone else interested in maybe checking it out?

well.. I am gonna go watch a movie and clean the house and cook breakfast.. I will be back to post again later today..

ERF

God.. I hate being awoken by the phone, and it being my work, which I despise anyways. And then haveing someone ring my doorbell over and fucking over while I hastily throw on some pajamas and try to crawl down the stairs and then after they get tired of ringing my fucking doorbell they start to pound on the door and scream like a friggin banshee. Well.. they didn't really scream, but I felt like it..

If any of you go to toledo and visit the friendlys there and have some of their "delicious" food or drink of their "refreshing" coke, I would like to you take a HUGE fucking dump in their urinal...
I went there for the first time the other day with my wife, and her brother and his wife, after we went and saw austin powers 3 and we were looking forward to a nice meal. Our waitress seated us at a booth, and their booths are tiny, I'm large but I can usually squeeze into most booths without being too uncomfortable, especially since I have been losing some weight, but their booths were really really small. So when the waitress came back, we asked if we could move to a table so I would be a little less cramped. And then she proceeded to prod my fucking stomach... And as she was moving us she annouces pretty much to the entire store "there, you should have a little more room over here big guy" and she says to the people with me "I know what its like, my daughter is about as fat as he is".
Friendlys, servinv your meal with a heaping helping of public embarassment..

This band could possibly be the greatest christian rock parody band EVER!!!!!!! Check them out for some great christian versions of your favorite songs.. With such greats as "The real Sin Saver" sung to the tune of the real slim shady...

The impotent sea snakes, The FUCKING GREATEST TRANSVESTITE ROCK BAND EVER!!! Check their site here too

Oh god this guy makes me want to buy a water pik sooooooooo badly!!!. Read his other reviews too!!!

Will austin powers be able to sell gas like a mother fucker? We will soon find out.. Spidey sure as fuck could..

I'm not completely positve why someone would desire a urkle-mobile so badly, but I guess to each his own. Its cool nonetheless..

Mr. T Pitys my webpage..

HAve you ever wondered how you could tatoo a goats ass? Well now you know!! thanks internet!!

Oh my god.. this would be even funnier if it wasn't real.. As it is though, these are definatly some of the greatest and scariest alblums EVER

Oh my god my christmas list is now complete!!! I have to have one of these!!. It says and I quote "Helps hot boning". And you know thats what I am all about..
In fact there are so many fucking great toys on this site.. Check out the rest of my liist here and here and here and here

Here is a link to that coooooooool babelizer thingy that runs a phrase through bablefish until it gets all whacked out.. fun!

The king of jews for the king of beers!

EXTREME PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Its been a year allmost now so i think its safe to post this.. Its funny as shit regardless...

Well.. Its time for me to go into my job that I hate for another 10 plus hour work day.. You guys enjoy this post, which was brought to you by the letters Z, L, and 3.

Comedy Central blew it on this one.......

I don't know how many people watched Comedy Central's Contest Searchlight last night and when ever else it was on, but it was STUPID!

I think that they were going for some sort of "reality TV" show that showes how hard it is in the tv industry or something. If you aren't familiar with the premis, here is a bit of background.

Normal everyday people send in their ideas for a tv series and you get to look behind the scenes at what actually goes on when a tv channel tries to put together a new show. At the begining you see Dennis Leary come into work all pissed off and wanting to know why the cameras are in his office and running around like a complete asshole. He very much reminded me of every single dickhead boss i ever worked for in my entire life all rolled up into one moron.

Anyway, you get to see what happens when he "forgets" that the show is actually happening and then John Stewart backs out of costarring and they have to find a replacement. Dennis and the crew are frantically calling everyone in the book trying to find someone to do this project and of coarse no one wants too.

I was buying it for a while until they showed the 10 semi finallists at the party they threw where they were going to announce the 3 who got selected from those 10.

I'm sorry, but if you are going to make what is supposed to be a "reality show" about real people trying to make it in show business, you CAN NOT use an actor that has been in a couple movies before! In the group of 10 semi finalists there was one black dude who was wearing a dashiki and at first i didn't recognize him. But they were doign this whole Real World thing where the individuals would get solo time in from of the camera and had to do a journal type thing. When he did his, it turned out to be Dwight Ewell who played Hooper X in Chasing Amy. He also has quite the filmography accourding to IMDB.

So, if anyone thought that this was all real forget about it.

Neocron Goes Public Beta

Just an update to all you fellow geeks out there. Yes, Neocron has gone public beta. Visit the neocron forums to find out where to download your copy. Test will continue through the end of the month. After testing is complete, the game will be released and there will be a 6 week FREE playing period.

So far I think this game rocks. Imagine combining DAoC with Dues Ex(ok, some ppl didn't like it, but I did :P ). and throw in a wicked economy and you have Neocron. There are some things that are not in the game right now. The stock market, vehicles and a few small things are not in the game completely yet, but there are signs of them everywhere. The hoverbikes look bad ass. The game is a little slow to start, but what MMORPG isn't.

Well, I was going to post screenies of my apartment in the game, but I can't log into my ftp account.

Download it NOW! :P

Merry Christmas!

Yay!! I'm sleepy

Wesley Willis would like you all to have a merry christmas. Rock over london! Rock on Los Angelas

Drink from the penis cup and learn all about funky cold medina..

Wheelbarrow freesyleeeeeeeee BOYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I watched Kung Pow the other day and I really enjoyed it.. One interesting thing on the dvd that I found out about was that Steve Oedekerk (besides being behind a million really funny things) was the guy responsible for the thumb wars video and will be releasing a DVD of thumb movies sometime this year.. that would fucking rock! There is actually even a clip from thumbwars hidden on the dvd... On the bad side he is also partly responsible for Juanna Man.... But I guess everyone makes some bad decisions.. Cause his next movie Bruce Almighty sounds like it has alot of potential..

Well.. its time to head off and have my employee meeting again at 8:30 in the morning.. kick ass...

asdfasd

Alive and blogging

Been really super busy the last week or so.. I had my first employee meeting tonight and had to kick some ass.. Tommorow I start with all the manager stuffs..
Hopefully I will have some more time to blog once shit gets settled down..
Since only two people were into my porn extravaganza idea how would me just selling shit like movie posters and other cool shit (and porn) on ebay super cheap be? Anyone out there interested?
well
more later..