End of the road


I'm through.

I've been trying to write this post for a week or so.. mulling it over in my head.. and now that I am sitting down to actually write it.. Its just too hard.

I don't even know what all to say. The site is obviously dead.. I don't browse the interweb like I did back in the day. And even then.. I just don't get excited about shit like I did then either.. I guess mainly because I just don't really have anyone to share it with like I used to.. I just popped it open tonight to go look for something in the archives, and I saw the smacktards comment on the top post, and figured it was time to get this written. Maybe by shutting the book on this site, I can close out the chapter of my life that this was in some way the heart of.

I started this site back on October 19th of 2000. Just was a way of sharing the crazy shit that I was finding every day with my friends and coworkers in tech support. So much has changed in three years. I've gotten married, had our first kid, and (I like to hope) maybe even grown up a little bit through it all. But even though I have everything I have ever wanted in my life with my loving wife and son. Part of me feels empty and black. I used to have the most fucking awesome friends in the world. Back before I left tech support (a decision I don't think I will ever forgive myself for) my friends were really the focal point of my life. I worked with most of them every day, and hung out constantly with them. The memories I have of the times I spent with them are ones that I will never forget, or I guess forgive myself for ending either. I remember what seemed like countless hours playing video games, driving around, or just goofing around. I don't regret getting married or starting a family.. Jamie is my best friend and my heart. But its very often that I think, "man.. Cory would have really gotten that joke." or, "Geeze.. Scott would apperciate these legos more then anyone else in the world", or "Man, Joel sure was a crack-head unlike any other, good lord he could make me laugh". I don't have anyone to drive around with at 2 in the morning when I can't sleep and get milkshakes with and goof off of, or just to play midtown madness with for hours on end.

Now.. I said "used to have". I guess I still do in one sense. I would still go to the ends of the earth if one of them called out of the blue and told me they needed me. I would drop everything for any one of them and do anything they could want. But.. I don't know.. I don't know if its something that I've done and not realised it.. or what..

I guess as far as I am concerned this is my last post on this website in its current form. Who knows what I will do with it... I will definately leave it up. We'll allways have the archives. And it some small condolence to know that for at least awhile I was the number one search on google for free jetsons porn, and naked pictures of the olsen twins. I even met some pretty cool people from other places throughout it all. But this is it.. the end.. I am tired. I worked my entire sunday today for some nice overtime at work, and I couldn't sleep after I got home at midnight. I hope I got everything out in a somewhat readable manner, so that I can feel somewhat done with feeling what I have been feeling as of late. I just hope getting it all out and written will let me get over everything... To everyone, Thank you for all the great times, I wouldn't trade them for the world. I hope maybe someday there may even be some more.