Snoop Doggy Porn?

so im sitting here listening to some old weezer really loud because im the only one home, avoiding my readings, and happened to remember something i heard this morning which i found amusing and will now share with you. before i do though, i should warn you, i dont usually post links or anything fun like that, just bitchy little anecdotes that are amusing mostly to myself but that i feel the need to share with others.

anyhow, i heard that Snoop Dogg (or however you spell his name correctly, im not the expert on that being that im not a rap/hip hop guru like most of the ppl i know) is going to be making a porn with the guy who created Hustler magazine. Now i dont know if this is true or not, but if it is, you can make sure to remember you heard it here first, and i heard it here first.

Just imagine, theres so much collaboration in the hip hop world, if this is true, snoop must be getting about 500000 phone calls right now asking to get in on the action. no pun intended.

thats it for me today. blue hair dye almost due for a rinse...this is really getting tiring (i have to do this once a week to keep my brilliant colour, *sigh*)

*update: heres more on the snoop porn, Snoop Dogg makes rap/porn video, in case you were wondering, yes, it is supposed to be called Doggystyle...does anyone else think this is disgusting...i mean god....snoop dogg makes the man without a face (theres a picture there about an eigth of the way down...its pretty grusome tho so consider yourself warned) look hot...


New voice at Jonsnews.com

Well, I'd like to thank Jon for letting me borrow some of his website, and to let me have my 5 minutes of fame. Jon has agreed to let me rant and rave about whatever I wanted. Well, maybe not whatever I wanted, I wouldn't want to offend TOO many people. So here in my little space you won't find links to some sick perverts website that likes to dress like Peter Pan or (shudders just thinking about it) the Poufbunny Pinup Parlor. Here I will state what I think is wrong with the world. I don't want anyone to take offence in anything that I would ever state here. Its not ment to offend, for its only one person's opinion in a world of opinions. BUT if you happen to become offended about anything that I would ever state here, please do not bother the humble webmaster. Send all comments, hate mail and death threats to me CJ
I'm not going to post any thoughts today. But I shall in the future. Stay tuned for later postings.

I come bearing gifts of pretty things.

Oh god. Check this out. Its so very nice!! ooooooooooooo shiney!

I find this quite funny. The site is very humorous and it makes me laugh. Its kind of like what tom green would be doing if he smoked more crack.

This is one of the coolest error 404 pages I have ever seen!

I finally found a download for the alpha for winamp 3.0! God I remember when winamp 2.0 was just coming out...I'll be installing it tonight and will probably say how it is tommorow...

Right now I am heating up pop tarts on the back of my monitor. I am a fucking genius. Cooking on the back of your monitor is cool.

Oh god. I used to watch the monkees alot. I even had their old record I got from my mom BACK IN THE 80'S!!! and I thought they were cool But uhhh.. this is kind of weird.

When you think about someone talking about a nice jewish girl.. I would hope you don't think of this.

Here is a guide of how the FBI investigates computer crime. Pretty swank shit. Its cool.

Click here for the history of nudity.

And then click here to see if there are any castles for sale in your area...

Here is a site about cooking geek style. Pretty cool!

Well its time for me to train. Then its up to Girls after work for the night. So ta ta for now.

Ugh that was way lame. Peace.Nobody better set me up the bomb while I am gone. Hopefully the new fellow will post tonight too along with Lexi. So keep checking back.

A mean mother fucker called Stagger Lee

Oh sweet god. These guys have figured out how to fucking overclock a FUCKING CD-R Thats fucking nutty.

Uhhh if you have never listened to much Nick Cave and the bad seeds I suggest you go download Red Right hand and Stagger lee. Both off the Murder Balleds cd. That whole cd was insanely fucked up

Oh god I'm tired. Work early ugh.
Lets see what else before I pass out...

I'm all about freedom of speech and everything. But this is still kind of fucked up..

Remember Johnny Mnenumic (sp?) and uhh the part with the dolphin. It was retarded in the movie, in the short story by william gibson it was pretty bad ass. That was a pretty lame work up to this link.

Oh god. This weekend girl and I went to her younger brothers cub scout thing and they had to make these cakes of like around the world shit.. And then they auctioned off the cakes (some were just normal sheet cakes with cool icing and shit) and they were selling for like OVER A HUNDRED DOLLARS A PIECE!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH that made my mind explode..

Girl and I also watched some bad ass movies this weekend. Check out the watcher, and way of the gun. She slept thru The watcher... but I thought it was bad assed. We also watched (err started to watch) high fidelity. We only got about 30 minutes into the movie when it was obvious neither of us were going to be watching it anymore...

Sooo uhhh this last weekend rocked...

I had posted this before. But the fact that someone out there decided to go THIS IN DEPTH into some star wars shit is pretty... cool. Its a good read...

God dammit. People need to stop stealing ideas out of my head and taking them as their own ARGH. I was sOOOOOOOO going to do a redesign in all pencil.. damn you person!

I find it simply amazing that people who thing that THIS IS A GOOD IDEA HAVE SUCH A STRONG GRASP ON THE DOPPLER EFFECT!

Boy. This could definatly be cool. I fucking LOVE the onion. A onion movie would be pretty sweet I think

This is wrong. Its the god simulator.
OOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo shiney. I want a personalized action figure!!!!!!!!

This makes me want to poop myself in joy. UNDEROOS ROCK! And... My girl in spiderman undies... Tingly....

And now some very nice sites for all of you. Check out PARTY GATOR. Its wonderful.

And uhh.. Oh god... How can I even find words for this.. Its uh... well.. Ok.. Its EROTIC HAND PUPPETS! AHHH

And ummm here we seem to have a comic strip made entirely in ASCII! UGH

Its nice to know that www.american-psycho.com points here. Very comforting.

And you KNOW its definate BLECH OF THE DAY material when the page is entitled "Eatin turds in public"

Ok. Well on that note. If I haven't scared lexi away then I would like to say welcome to jons news dot com on behalf of all the readers and myself. Hopefully with the addition of lexi and another yet to be named poster that I am in talks with (and then random posting by Girl and Cory and Scott) this should all round the site out nicely and then when I am away there will be nice posty things for you all to read.

Well I am fucking cold and tired. I had massive blood loss tonight because my cat mauled me in the ear and took a huge chunk out of it which bled forever. And then he went away and faked that he was sorry then charged me and hung UPSIDE FUCKING DOWN ON MY LEG AND BITE THE ASS OUT OF MY TOE. So I think he wants me to go to bed. And I am sure he will make me get up early in the morning when he fuckstarts my head... Ugh. My cat is fucking satan.

Keep skanking to the beat.!!!


hi! *looks around* I <3 this page, so when i (lexi from m00f.net) was offered a chance to post here i jumped at it. im not too familiar with how this posting system works so please forgive me if this screws up when i try to do this the first time...i cant really post much tonight, i have to be up and at my old high school for 7am tomorrow do edit together a video piece for one of my university classes, but i thought i would just stop by and say hello and that i hope to be posting lots of useless yet worthwhile stuff soon. im not a very interesting person but i love to ramble, so i should be amusing at best and endearing at worst *hopefully*

So, I better be on my way to bed (10:15pm it is, yes yes, im a baby). Sleep easy though, I will be back (i guarantee)

ps i actually changed my name on this thing but its not letting me see whether or not this worked so blablabla im frustrated *grrs* so if it just says lexi then great and if not then grr some more...i just made 50 cookies...anyone want some?


If you are coming here because you heard my site mentioned on eXtreme 96.3 then rock on. They are the most kick ass station. Big thanks to them for plugging me.

I don't really have time for a long post right now. I just got back and I need to head to work and shit. But I will have a huge post tonight (after work). So keep checking back.

Rock socks mothafuckas
Couple of quick links

Net slaves. Horror stories of working the web.

Here is a creepy article about the 404: page not found being foretold in the bible.


Oh. And you want to see even more fucked up? Poke around this page. Its baby pants crib sheet BLEEEEEEEECCHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOh yeah. Those are your blechs of the day too.
Peace easy


This goes at the top of your TO DO list for today !!!

Go Open up your copy of Napster and search for "Arnold Schwarzenegger prank" and download all the unique files you find.

They are fucking hilarious !

Here is a site that has some too.


It's good to be the king !

Mel Brook's - History of the World Part 1 is the shit. I never get sick of watching it.

Well anyway, I just thought I would post and say "Gee Golly God-Damn doesnt that new banner look cool and Oooo look a new little icon for the check mark New Browser Window option off to the side !" The check box and the image need to be in a nested 2 cell table, but I think I will leave that up to Jon.

This website just keeps getting better and better.

"Get your stinkin' hands off me you damn dirty apes !"


Well I think I got the menu pretty much how I like it.. So fuck around with it and everything. Let me know if anything is broken or if any links are in their twice.. its not completely done.. but alot closer..
I'm out for the rest of today and tommorow.

Logan watched her go, and banged his head on the bench. How the hell did you go about romancing Scott Summers?

BLEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHh Thats ruining my childhood. WOLVERINE IS NOT GAY!. NO. Fuck. Logan does not like to punch the man donut...

This however is really good. Its the Behind the music for alvin and the chipmonks!!! ROCK!

Click here for the weird word of the day. And then here for some pretty strange and cool dictionarys.

I found this really great interview with Soda Popinski via fark via i-mockery

I FUCKING HATE comet cursors. FUCK FUCK FUCKING HATE IT. Here is a good site with lots of information on reasons that its evil and how to get rid of it.

All your candy are belong to us.

Click here to find out your hobbit name!

Check out this site. It even has a entry for all your base are belong to us.

I think I have linked this before. But I really enjoy the Snoop Blog.

Make sure to check out the now official Harry Potter site too! I can't fucking wait for the movie.

Super bon bon super bon bon super bon bon super bon bon super bon bon super bon bon super bon bon super bon bon super

I love soulcoughing. They are my favorite band ever

Well. I have been working on stuff around the site all day. As evident by the pretty menu on the site now (which by the way if you visited at certain times either wasn't there, someplace else, or making the site 49,000 pages long and wide). Its not complete so don't really mess with it. I mean.. you won't break anything but some links are in there like 5 times and other retarded stuff..
The open links in new windows then doesn't work for it either. (Thanks to scott for the new picture for the open links in new window thingy too). By the way if you have never noticed the little picture that used to be under the navigation menu on the right hand side. Thats the open links in new window thingy. Mouse over it for a explaination. I mean. If just calling it the links open in new window thingy isn't enough..
Oh yeah. That menu on the right is gone. Bye.

Umm what else. New banner thanks to scott and cory.

If you read scotts site too heres a update:
He got his laptop harddrive in. He has been formatting and reinstalling different versions of windows all night. So he will probably post tommorow night or I will make fun of him.

Uhh think thats it. Tired. More tommorow. Cold.

Note to self: When its still winter don't turn off all the heat in the house and leave the windows open for the cat while you are at work.


Fuck yeah I'm a play baby.

Soon after Scott and I first met at work when he started he said "God damn, your such a play baby"
Fuck yeah I am. I love shiney things and I love my toys.

I've allways been like this. I buy stupid stuff like spiderman web shooters and action figures all the time. I've talked and talked about the McFarlane figures here before. REally there are no other figures on the market that match the quality or the cool factor of them. These spidey figures get a little closer. They are pretty much the first quality marvel figures I have ever seen.

Hopefully you have all heard of the infamous Realdoll and the incredible Realhamster (note - the original site is down at www.realhamster.com but the link I provided has most of the pictures and alot of quotes from it so you will get the idea) and Realsheep. Now you can get your own RealAlien! Oh the things that you could do...

Sonic death monkey stands to be the greatest band EVER. Check out their homepage. MP3s coming soon!

I know some of you are into the crazy pictures and stuff *cough*joel*cough* so I definatly have to link this. There is some pretty funny shit on this site.

This is pretty sweet! a Cthulhu pez dispensor!

WOW! This guy REALLY knows how to motivate his employees!

Here is the best all your base are belong to us picture page. Check out the evidence links on the bottom!
And here is a page of Zany video game quotes! Who knows? You may find the next all your base are belong to us here!

I'm just going to go ahead and add this to my list of crazy shit I am sure I will get for my kids to disturbe them even more...

Heres a nice little dictionary for all of you working in a cube like I do..

And since I am the master of the 80's (fuck you scott) I gotta post this list of the top five songs about masturbation from the 80s!!!!

All the answers are within

Ok. Not ALL of them. But some. Like "What do I do if I am trying to raise my child in the way of satan and he is getting teased at school?"

Well for that you could allways check out this handy guide.

Or how about this one "My boyfriend/girlfriend sports a mighty mullet and I want to do something romantic for him/her/it"

My friend then this site is for you. Here is what you do. You have a nice romantic dinner. Candles (Not too many. You don't want your mates emaculate neck blanket to catch fire now do we?), and some wine and then you and it snuggle up to a nice cozy fire and you can read them some beautiful mullet poetry.

Well maybe this is you "I don't really have a girl friend or anything. I'm lonely all the time and I really want someone to hump that isn't going to just leave me"

Then for you I have this website and this FAQ. I'm sure with the help of these two links you should be able to dig something up.

"Jon. You haven't really answered any of my questions. All you have done is provided funny links for me to visit. Where can I go for real answers??"

Well I'm sorry. I guess if you really wanted some answers you could check out the guys over at the straight dope, Or you could just ask Satan. He will be happy to help. If neither of those help then you may check out Gorm the wired viking.

This all comes because the last couple days I have been getting reminded about a site that I really loved alot that went away. The site was called Forum 2000. It was based on the premise that it was a huge artificial inteligence matrix that would answer your questions thru multiple manifested personalities that it had. It was VERY funny and VERY original. I used to visit it nearly daily. But like many great things on the net soon after you find them they go away. Here is the article from slashdot from when it happened last year. I actually remember the day that I read that. Luckily when there is innovation there are spinoffs and twists. So the forum spirit was kept alive in other sites. This all comes up because of a new site that I found a few days ago that is this type of site. So I have once again plunged myself into the crazy world of the forums and its quite good!

Here are some relevant links if what I said piqued your intrest. I find them quit funny and interesting and I will probably put a links catagory for them on the left hand side.

Fake Forum. Allmost as good as the read thing.
Conversatron!!! Boing!
The true meaning of life!
Master Ninja. The newest addition!

Well I think thats it for right now. Make sure you check out my crap on ebay, and listen to jonsnews radio!

Oh yeah. Scott said that my furby auction is evil. Just because i threaten to kill and multilate it if noone picks up the auction doesn't matter does it? Is that wrong?


Who wants some of my junk??

Well I've spent all morning putting more of my crap on ebay. Its not really crap. Just stuff I need to sell. So check it out. Buy it so I can afford to pay my bills please! At least get this damn Mr. T board game out of my house!

And make sure you tune into Jonsnews radio. I'm kicking out the toons for your listening pleasure!

Umm I will try to post from work Its about that time. I need to shower and head out. More in a bit.

Follow follow follow me. But don't lose your grip.

so i'm tired and stuff so quick post before sleepy time.

Oh boy

Lets see
Cory found this kick ass three dee nifty player thing wiht some bad ass superman movies on it.. and its all interactive and shit. GO HERE

I think I posted this earlier but I'm Not sure. If i did this is today sBLECH OF THE DAY

Oh man. This is your one stop shopping experience for all your defense needs for your family. I am going to get my sister a tazer for christmas..

AHAHAHA look at uss.. we are angry hairy butch lesbians and our site is devoted to taking old jokes about men and doing a find and replace and switching men with the word butch. How charming.

Today is a real treat for you guys. You get two (or three i'v rather lost count by now) BLECHS OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am going to oass out now

Oh yeah. Go listen to Jonsnews Radio!



Yet something else to waste your time with

Now you can tune into the official Jonsnews Radio network. Check it out here

Update: uhhh its broken right now.. working on it.

Updated Update: Errrrrrrrrr it works now. I forgot to actually turn the server on. So uhhh go listen and stuff. Its eclectic.

Oh god the shineyness

Holy fuck this fucking camera kicks my ass left and right. I want it sooooo bad. Its soooooo fucking shiney

Oh man and on the sweet tech shit check out this Microsoft run cell phone. Fucking pocket PC is baadddd ass! I am definatly thinking of getting one of these when the time comes if the service is availble around here..

Pokey the Penguin is another one of my little hidden things on the internet that I have been keeping to myself. Pokey is truley great. He makes me happy.


And since I missed yesterdays blech of the day here is one twice as bad. So check out TODAYS BLECH OF THE DAY

i have created a monster!!!
now, i new that i started a bad thing with my superstitions at work. but i truly think that this has gotten outta hand.

i heard someone refer to "when it stops snowing" and i didn't realize what the hell they were talking about at the time, and now, i see poor jon actually afraid to even type it out.

i mean, all i did was simply say not to say "that one word". only because it would be bad. and now, we (i say we, because, i am a big part of the problem) have created the whole support gods, and how we can anger them and how they punish us with calls.

i'm just glad we haven't started doing sacrifices yet. (of coarse, if it helps...)

if you have ever doubted the power of the gods, just ask joel. not only did he wield the power one day. but he questioned the very existance of the power. it was one of the busiest days ever. he learned his lesson. of coarse, if not, there always is that sacrifice thing.

well, i just wanted to say, i'm sorry for all that i have created with this whole power thing. and to say "I HOPE ITS NOT BUSY TOMOROW!!!" hehehe


its snowing enough here at work that I can't post.

Snowing is our code for it being busy. We are very superstitous here and talking about it not being busy or saying you hope its not busy is a very bad thing. Ever writing it down is considered yeilding the power.

So yeah. I'll post from home...

Can't save myself, cause myself keeps slipping away

Every now and then I really like a little NIN.. I'm not a huge fan but sometimes it really fits my mood.

So I was offline all this weekend. Saturday right after work I went up to Girls and we hung out and went to her sisters performance which rocked serious ass. And then we went to her house and then decided to come down here so we could go to church in the morning. So sunday comes around and we go to church and i can honestly say that what happened there sunday really reaffirmed my spirit and my faith. I'm not a huge proponent of religion. I don't really like the word and I don't really like organised religion. I don't like alot of the dogma attached to it. I don't like how they strive to tell you how and when its ok to be with god and pray to him. But sunday I could really feel it happening. Its been awhile since I have had a really spiritual experience. Its been allmost four years now since I really found god in my life and sunday was a great affirmation about his place in my life.
It was really strong. I even cried at a couple points because it all just felt so incredible.
I know some of you won't really believe that I'm a spiritual man. But I believe in god. I think everyone should believe on their own terms. Church is a great place to go to worship and have your faith strenghtened. But its not the only place. You can do it outside as the breeze blows on your face, or inside as you lay in bed next to the one you love.
I'm not even going to reread that paragraph because I know it skips around and probably makes me sound crazy. But church sunday put a really good feeling into me that won't be going away for awhile. It ws very powerful.

Well I gotta cut to work. But i will try to post from there if the weather is ok (I'll explain that reference later)

UImmm oh yeah! Check out this article from the web standards guys about how we should stop worrying about older browsers and everyone should begin to use newer browsers. Webmasters should be fighting to make their page work with old browsers. We should be doing stuff for people with newer ones that look good.
I kind of agree. When i designed this page I only tested it in IE 4 & 5 on a windows machine. I really don't know if it works with netscape. Netscape can't even fucking support frames. So read the article. They are challenging web designers to make their shit tighter. So do it. Fuck those with windows 3.1 browsing on fucking IE 2 or 3...



Well. As I figured early on bush has allready begun our involvement in iraq and I can see us being at work sometime in the next year or two. Hes allready dropping fucking bombs on that crazy fucker Saddam. Heres a quote from the man with the low iq:
"part of a strategy, and until that strategy is changed, if it is changed, we will continue to enforce them."

The bombings are just a fucking way to divert attention from how fucking useless he is. I really don't feel like having the possibility of being drafted if we go to war because some retarded redneck decided he wanted to pick a fight with a madman who willingly kills his own people if it meets his ends. Fuck that shit.

From the very first hit of the bass line I knew this was a great thing. I wasn't dissappointed.


All of your bases are belong to us


Today for you I make the links friend.

Yes homesnake. I make the links good. Do you like-ah the links? Oh yes. Kids today.. they like-ah the links..

You and your crazy friends and your links.

I really don't know where I was going with that. Just one of those little violent thoughts that tears a fissure in your subconscience and won't stop clawing at hour thoughts until you get it out. I get them alot. I will get a thought or a song or a phrase or a picture in my head and I just can't focus on anything else until I somehow can reality-ize it. Give it voice, jot it down, draw it. Whatever. Am I the only one that has those? I remember one time when I got this silly image of vegetables in a garden rising up in rebellion against humans. They were picking up weapons against their captors. That thought is still in my head from about the time I was in like 8th grade. I still haven't gotten it out. I can't draw very well and I have never asked anyone else to draw it for me.
Its really vivid in my mind. The carrot leading them all with his bloody shovel in hand, All scar'd up and battle weary. The demon tomato with a pesticide can, laughing maniaclly.

Welcome to my brain.

Well. Ok. that was another good example. I sat and thought about that entire paragraph and I didn't even really want to write it. But as hard as I tried I couldn't think of anything else that I could write. So that just flowed out and now I'm fine..

Click here to see a video of the hottest girl on the internet!!!

Oh man.. Maybe I should have mentioned that that was todays blech of the day before hand.. Sorry.

Lets see what else I have for you before I leave for work.

Umm If you have never been to Crazy Grandpa dot com then you really should. Its VERY entertaining!

I do tech support. This is a really good article about how you should frame your mind and some things to keep in mind if you are in a position where you are trying to help someone. This really hit home with me. I think I was starting to lose sight of some of these things. I'm not the best tech there is. Noone is. But these things will definatly help me to be a better tech.

I used to play everquest. I had a little gnome illusionist that I really enjoyed playing. Cory and I looked into ahserons call and stuff to. EQ was graphically and gameplay superior, but I really think that AC has ALOT better story telling and cool things happening in game. But, regardless, in a couple months Anarchy online is going to blow them both away. And then soon after Ultima online two is going to blast everything else out of the water.
I was reading thru my daily sites and on something aweful I read this and I laughed:
Now, I don't want to sound wishy-washy or impartial here, but I fucking HATE Everquest. If the game of Everquest was an actual physical entity, I'd like to anally assault it with a spiked oven mitt while injecting Liquid Plumber into it's neck via a rusted hypodermic needle the size of my microwave oven. The entire game is like going into the world's most tedious job and performing the same task over and over and over until a giant beetle kills you.
Its true. I got stuck at 12th level and spent fucking about 4 weeks trying to get out of that level. I made and lost 13th level 34 times one night..
I think I quit the next day.

Some people think that duct-tape is a red-neck thing. I think of it as more of a geek thing. I guess its both. Whatever. All I'm saying is that I found a page that has ducttape clothing for sale and I needed some nice lead in for the link. I REALLY like the wallets.

I'm coming around to the microsoft way of life. Cory and I pretty much agree about everything about microsoft. I believe that linux has its place. Its not on the desktop though for most people. If you want to game use windows. If you want a mail server use linux. If you don't want to game and want reallly good sys admin abilities use linux. But I think how micorsoft is saying that they think open source is anti-american and should be outlawed. Thats pretty ass retarded. Fuck. If someone wants to make something for free and then give away the source so it can be improved. Then I say fuck it. Do it! Frees a damn good price for anything. Microsoft needs to just chill on the FUD. They just need to focus on making kick ass shit.

I love monty python. Its fucking great. Nothing else in the entire world has as good sound clips as them. So check out this site and download yourself some nice sounds for your computer. Oh. I think I am going to ask cory if I can put up his windows XP theme that he made. Its very tight!

So. You've decided to be evil. What next?

Heres a pretty fun page for you to play with!

I found this site last night at work and we all had a great time making fun of it. Definatly visit his "Fashion" page!

You think this guy may just be a red-neck??

I've been putting off linking to this. Its the current site of the week everywhere you look. But check out the "All of your base are belong to us" music video. Its really good. Somebody set us up the bomb!

OK.. and uhhh here we have uhhhh.. well.. its a uhhhh online comic.. that about geeks and their life.. but.. its got... oh god... They are all furries... Oh god..

AHHHHHHHHHH this is so weird I cannot find words in my lexicon that are sufficient to describe it. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And speaking of terminally weird. You may want to check out this page too. This guy is FUCKING WHACK


Now watch Skippy. THIS is comedy!

mawd says:
its uploading now
Jonathan says:
Jonathan says:
Jonathan says:
i am going to passout.. i will read it in the morning..ehhee
Jonathan says:
mawd says:
mawd says:
"look at me, i'm jon. i'm hard core"
Jonathan says:
Jonathan says:
look at me i recycle all of jons jokes
Jonathan says:
i'm the bag lady of humor
mawd says:
oh shit, i thought you fell asleep while typing
mawd says:
christ, you don't have to be at work till 4 tomorow
mawd says:
a couple more minutes won't kill you
Jonathan says:
HAHAHAHAHAHa oh man.. I liked that joke when you said it earlier tonight
Jonathan says:
ok.. fineeee

Scott is coming along way at cocking people off. Damn I wish he would get his page uploaded so I can go to fucking bed.

Hi diddly ho

I fucked up with that repeating post. I didn't think blogger was sending it so I hit post and publish again and BIZZAM it worked and I didn't notice. To make up with it I dug this link out of my sent items. This is pretty hardcore old school when I used to disseminate my wacky links thru email to my cow orkers

So check it. Its best to let your eyes blur. Its REALLY hard to understand what you are seeing. But just watch for about 5 minutes.. Oh yeah its the perennial porn classic deep throat. Rendered in ASCII. If the ASCII thing does it for you check out asciibabes dot com too while you are at it. And for the record I still denounce that its pronounced ASS-KEY It sounds like Ah-sigh.

I just took the jpg out of the post from about 4 days ago that was making the entire site not work properly. Like it couldn't get small and stufff. So thats fixed.

There are some real wackos out there. I mean. I love conspiracy theories and shit about aliens and stuff.. but this is a bit silly.. Its still true to this day. You can find the biggest cooks on usenet. Check out your local news server for some REALLY crazy shit. Try alt.conspiracy if you have it. But I still love to read this crazy shit. AHHhhhhhhhhhhhh only on the internet...

Go download some kid koala on your napster. Kids today.. they love the napster...

I don't care if its just a fucking mock up or not. This looks insanely cool!

I've been playing the oldschool NES zelda pretty hardcore the last couple weeks. I am excited to play this after I finally smash gannon.

You know my friends.. I haven't had a really good religious link on here for awhile. At least one that really stuck out to me. Not like the jesus dildo. Or that kind of stuff... Well here is a nice little link with some good old fashioned religious money makin fools. Oh yeah. Selling god in chewey bites.

I am sooooooooooo going to move to Africa.. Just for this!

I know its for science and all..... But its still REALLY fucked up.. Allmost fucked up as that Infrared porn that I found that time.. Now that shit was freaky!

Lately I have been putting some of my shit up on ebay.. But it makes me cry that this guys FUCKING LINT has more bids then my playstation with 10 games and all sorts of other shit. Bah!

God. People amaze me. The fact that someone was stupid enough to not realise that there is no such thing as a 200 dollar bill with fucking BUSH on the front fucking puts me in awe.

This game is very very very very fun. Its like click-o-mania on acid and crack.

This is really great. Its a weblog told from a dogs point of view.. Good stuff!

Damn the Man has some pretty good stuff on it. Definatly choice is the Bob Saget interview. Its good good good stuff.
heres a quote:
At the time this article is posted, Bob Saget is without representation and a label, though he plans on starting his own later on this year. "Gotta do what a muthafucka gotta do," he says, smiling like a jackass. "If people gonna hate, you gotta hate right back, dog. My brotha John Stamos is gonna hook me up wit some fine-ass women his model wife be doin' that wacky-ass lesbian shit wit. Yimme yimme ya ya!"

The pop up banners suck though. Everyone asks me why I don't have banners on this site. Fuck that. I hate banners. You guys hate banners. I do this site as something that I would want to come and read. So I it the way I would like it.

This is kind of depressing. But its fucking great too. And its inspirational too. I wasn't sure if I was going to post it or not at first. It was like my own little nugget of cool on the internet. I sat and read this and was totally setting everything aside while I read it because it just drew me in. But I'm going to put it up here. Not even sure if you guys will like it or not. But I thought it was a really good read.

So. Can I sign up for one of these yet??? FUck IT. I want one of these.

I found this site when it was still fortheloveofjulie dot com Its fucking disturbing. Ugh. Weirdos I tell you.

Creepysites has some other really weird sites that deserve checking out. So check out Cassandras site, And my son peter is.. REALLY creepy.

On a lighter note. Go buy yourself a wife at the LOVE MALL

And here is your official big time BLECH OF THE DAY!

Ok. Well thats it for tonight. Its very cold and I am done with my cocoa so its beddy time for me.. My tummy is feeling better now. So i think its time to get some nice dreams happening.


Scott just pointed out to me that I posted the same post twice. Shit.

I fixed it.. working on a new post. Stay tooned.



I got some pretty cool shit for you today my loyal readers!

First of all check out this news about the next batman movie!

Dark Horizons has a blurb from Aronofsky's recent conversation with Cinefantastique magazine about his plans for Year One. The writer-director revealed that he wants to set the film in the 1970s and make it in the mold of The French Connection. The 1971 film, by director William Friedkin, was the first film in a new era of gritty, urban crime dramas. The film's drama is accentuated by Friedkin's handheld documentary style that brings the viewer into a more personal proximity to the characters

I am glad they are going to do something different with it. The first batman was awesome! The second one was allmost as good. The rest all stunk ass. fucking aweful.

I would so love to see keaton come back as the bat. As long as its not Keanu Reeves...

Toyfair 2001 started yesterday too! Today the first pictures and stuff are coming around. I am VERY excited about the McFarlane toys for this year. I wrote up about last years collection awhile ago and its in the archives, but this years. ITS FUCKING AWESOME! Definatly more of the same great McFarlane detail and awesomeness! I mean fucking A! check out the detail in this fucking Jaws figure! I plan on getting a few of these after girl and I get married to decorate our den.

We have hit a milestone folks

I was just checking my shit out and I am kind of amazed

I put the counter shit on this site on 22 September 2000 at 06:10 AM

The time right now is currently 13 Feb 2001 at 01:39 AM

Thats 143 days.

Tonight I came up on unique hit number 3500 and I am about 19 off from hitting 5500 total hits including reloads.

I actually had a day (10 Jan, Wed, 2001) when I got 89 hits. Currently I get about 30-40 a day. I've had one heckler, and many people that have been great and shared links with me (Scott, anamal, unxmaal, Coolio, Matt, and MR. Bniblet *He was actually my first link EVER* And anyone else I forgot) This site is quite honestly one of the biggest things I have done in my life. And I thank you all who have kept with it and come back and spread the word.

Thank you.

I was just browsing the internet thinking to myself. Hey. I wonder how pikachu would look shaved.

Using the DVD.com Mob namer it appears that my name would be Jonny "the Yak".

That sounds more cuddly then mean. "Hey. Youse guyses better knock that off.. the Yak is on his way and he is gonna wanna graze"


I allways have loved cyberpunk. Its getting closer... Combine that with advances like this and we could honestly be seeing some real wetware in the news few years.

I'm not a super huge art geek.. Some day I hope to have some nice prints in our house hanging up. Nothing too fancy. But this shit is really fucking cool! Just the way that he ties in live models with his artwork looks incredible.

Now.. if your thinking to yourself "Self.. that all looks pretty good. But.. I think they could really do more with it..". Well then feast your eyes on this. I think Leroy Roper's work is fucking incredible. Look at the way that he ties his models in with his painting together. Its fucking incredible... and then even sometimes he even works some cool scenery into it too. And I have a thing for dragons. So extra bonus points for this picture. Definatly check out the card gallery!

I love seeing boundries pushed. I love to see what happens when you take and mix things together. This shit is really awesome.

And since I didn't really have a "official" BLECH OF THE DAY yesterday I will give you two BLECHS OF THE DAY today!
Theres one. Number it is a little less blechy and more.. weirdness.. but still quite blech in the fact that this guy devotes so fucking much of his time to straight jackets. BLECH OF THE DAY NUMERO DOS
Oh yeah. And on a final note I want to say that I fucking find this site beyond funny.. Very very very good geeky humor about elements and such.

So thats it for right now. More tommorow. Same bat time. Same bat channel.


Hoody Hoo!

- Pimps Up, Hoes Down


The end is near

Well. It looks like today may be the end for napster if The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco makes their decision today to end the file sharing program. So? Napster is going to leave. Something else will take its place. Probably gnutella or some offshoot of it. Something non-centralized. Gnutella could be ok if it had the userbase to warrent more devel. So thats kind of what I see happening. Everyone going to gnutella until it stops sucking.

I imagine that most of you have heard of the new Tom Hanks movie where he is stranded on the desert island called Cast Away. Well in the movie Hank's character has a "Friend" called wilson that he made out of a washed up volleyball, Well spending all that time alone I am sure that sometimes Wilson and he got into arguements and didn't want to talk to each other. And face it.. Wilson is a guy. Neither of them were gay. Hanks wanted companionship. He wanted someone to hold. Well even though they left these scenes out of the movie for some reason. Well I have dug up some pictures of some of these scenes. This is a extra special JonsNews special for all of you. Noone else has this pictures. These are pictures of Wilson's cousin Melly. Tom Hanks true love intrest in the movie.

Heres the site that originally got this whole idea started when I sent it to Cory last night and he came up with the whole cast away reference.


word to your mothers..

I mean that in a good way. I promise.

So uhhh. I'm selling chunks of my life away on ebay. My playstation that I dearly love is going up for grabs. Ten games, lots of good shit with it.. blah blah.. Check out all my shit. If nothing else you can grab yourself a kick ass Mr T board game...

Ugh. I don't really have alot else to post.. Well. I do.. but..
Today was going really good. I woke up this morning in my girls arms. The sun shining in my sleepy eyes. I looked over at her laying beside me, eyes closed. Being completly beautiful without even trying.
Then after awhile of laying in bed we get up and got ready and went to our first meeting with the priest about our wedding. After that we went back and layed in bed and stuff after we ate. And then I had to come to work.. Shes supposed to be here right now and I'm not supposed to be on the computer. I should be in her arms.. maybe even sleeping at this point. Getting ready for that feeling that I get when i wake up next to her. Leaning in to give her a light kiss on the cheek. The look of her eyes fluttering and the realisation that we are starting a whole new day together. One less day being engaged. One day closer to being married.

At the moment I write this its exactly twenty three weeks until our wedding. In one minute and 35 seconds it will be twenty two weeks and six days.
Right now that means. One hundred and sixty one days. Three thousand eight hundred and sixty four hours. Two hundred and thirty one thousand eight hundred and forty minutes. And a span of seconds that encompasses several commas in order to write out.
That amount of time seems impossible. They all say that this should be going quickly. But every moment I spend away from her seems unfullfilled. I yearn for the feeling of just knowing that she is near me.

I miss her. But. She is on her way down here. Maybe I will go sleep until she gets here. Waking me up gently. So that I can again hold her in my arms and tell her that I love her.
So that again, my heart can feel complete.


Happy valentines weekend.

Its that season again. Its humping season. So today I give you some hump-a-rific sites for you to visit!

If you can navigate it, this site will supply you with plenty of totally crazy japanese people doing crazy japanese things!

I really really really love exploding dog dot com. And this other site by Sam kicks my ass too. So get the fuck over to 1000 robots!

This controller looks super tight!
I mean it has a full keyboard ability on it!

I used to have ALOT of late fees at the library, but this is just silly.

To get you just a little moist I will start with this really great A-team fan fiction site! And then feast your eyes on this great news about the A-team movie!!!!!

And here is your VALENTINES BLECH OF THE DAY extra nubby for your reading pleasure!!!

Well thats it for now. I am going to spend a awesome weekend with girl. Happy valentines day!

New Orleans is sinkin. And I don't wanna swim.

I fucking love that song. Canadian rock kicks my ass.

If you are browsing around napster looking for ways to fill up your harddrive download some "tragically hip". You will not be dissappointed.

I have a tooth ache.
I so fucking cannot afford a dentist visit right now.
Oh man its hurting very badly..

Anyway. I am about to link to what I think may be the single greatest site on the internet. I truly feel that these guys are the absolute fucking shit.
I don't even know how to sum up all the feelings that this site brings up with me. Its just fucking awesome.

I used to be a really hardcore reader of Cinescape. I am glad that they have a strong web presence so I can start reading them again. *droooooool* lone gunman Tv showwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Oh god.. This site is quite entertaining. And its not like they are EVER going to run out of bad fads to write about.

I work in tech support so I found this completely fucking hilarious. It kicks my ass.

This is pretty sweet. I love house of the dead and cool arcade shooters like that. I guess this is a really good way to help encourage good typing with kids. Or maybe it will just be scaring them away from it. And it fucking has Coop over LAN. Kick.

I read slashdot every day. I have for the last three years or so. I used to enjoy it alot more then I do now.. But this is pretty cool and funny if you read alot of /. stories.

I knew there was something disturbing behind the whole grinch who stole christmas hub-bub. Its evil I tell you.

I come from a really small town.. And my friends and I used to get REALLY bored. And we used to do some REALLY bad things.. But I think these guys were a little teeny bit out of hand..

I added a couple links to the left. One to Respect the Pussy. I love that site.

I never had a imaginary friend as a kid. I wonder if its too late to get one.

I find it funny that FoX said no to having a condom ad during temptation island. I mean.. that show is pretty much entirely paying people to try to seduce a married couple. I mean. Isn't that pretty much prostitution?

And of course to wrap it all up nicely. Your BLECH OF THE DAY Not only is it furry porn. Its just that little bit more that makes it beyond just a regular link and into the proliffic BLECH OF THE DAY


Hi, My name is Vagina. I'll be your host today.

At one time I was pretty big into the whole "your name tells alot about you and determines blah blah blah". Well it all sprouts from the Kabalarian philosophy which is pretty much this
"The Kabalarian Philosophy is non-denominational. It derives its name from the hebrew word "kabal" which means "to receive." In ancient Hebrew lore, numbers and the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet were considered to represent forces of creation. "Kabal" means "to receive the estoeric knowledge of numbers and the letters of the alphabet" As they said the Hebrews study their holy text and analize them. For a really cool look into this check out the movie "Pi" (this is also a worthwhile flick to see because Darren Aronofsky will be directing the next batman movie. Check out the archives for my post about that.) *As an aside: I fixed the archives and got them all updated but in the meantime I broke the search on the right hand side. But I did so because I was working on putting up a new search thing*
The reason I bring up the whole kabalarians thing is because... WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE NAME THEIR KID THIS?

I find this bit o' news quite funny.

As a kid I allways wanted to be a mad scientist. Not a crackpot inventor so much.. But someone who did really evil things and held the good fight against the forces of good (that sounded redundant). I wanted to do neat things. I wanted to do evil neat things. I wanted to do insanely evil neat things. I wanted to hatch plans that would be thwarthed time and time again as I tried to blow up the moon, or put shrinking potion into the water supply. I never wanted to be a astronaut or a cowboy when I was a little kid. I wanted to be a motherfuck grade A mad scientist. I wanted to stay up all night in my castle lair and laugh insanely. I wanted giant Jacobs ladders hooked to things. I wanted to be a mix of Nikola Tesla and Cobra commander (Just not a stupid as CC)

But the college I went to didn't have a major in Mad Scientistism..

I kinda suck

Sorry I didn't post yesterday or today. Monday was like a 13 hour week at work and today was about nine.

I just realised how stupid that sentance is.

Since I am writing this I AM posting today. So I guess that I don't just suck. I am retarded too.


I think this is going to be a big post. You know why? Cause I got alot of stuff to do tommorow. So I may not get to post until late. So don't spend it all in one shot.

I kinda have a idea of something that I can do to kind of diversify the site and add something to it. Its something that I enjoy and I'll be working on it the next couple days maybe.

god. This guinea pig fucking knows how to hump!

And speaking of crazy humpers. Check out this article.

Man. I have been playing Legend of Zelda on the NES the last couple days. That game rocks so much ass..I have allways loved zelda. The SNES one kicked too. Here is a pretty cool zelda page.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh Ok. These guys are called Rainbow Flava. Is it just me or does that name SCREAM gay rappers?

And since I am mentioning music, these guys made me very happy today.

I find this really interesting. It seems that Bin Laden is hiding secret messages to cells of his terrorist organization in porn on the internet. Thats such a fucking awesome idea. If you didn't know exactly what to look for it would be impossible to pick the wheat from the chaf. God imagine if you just encoded it in about a dozen or so random jpgs and threw them into a newsgroup for your contact to pick up.

Well I really wanted to write a long post. But my house is fucking freezing cause I am trying to cut down my bills by only heating one room. And its not my computer room. So i will post again in the morning.


Well.. Thats weird wild schtuff

I am listening to a song from They Might Be giants called "your moms allright" TMBG FUCKING ROCKS THE SOCKS

I had the best fucking weekend fucking ever

My girl got to be down here friday night and all of saturday and then part of today. It was a fucking awesome thing to have her to come home to and to know that when I got done with work she would be here for me. I soooooooooooooooooo can't wait until July 21ST!!! And uhhh There was a tonnnnnnnnnnn of really good stuff that happened with my time with Girl. But thats for me to know about so bugger off.
And then after she left this morning and Scott and I went to dayton and went to return his rouge CD-R and went to the MOST GOD STORE EVER!
I want to fucking LIVE AT BEST BUY! I know I came from a super small down. But fucking BEST BUY BLEW MY FUCKING HEAD UP INTO TINY BITS AND SCATTERED THE BITS ALL OVER THE PLACE! It was fucking awesome! I got to see the sony palm OS PDA and a fucking CAM CORDER WITH A FUCKING SONY MEMORY STICK! And then we went to the fucking humongo Toys R' Us there too. And then to the TWO STORY MALL! I WAS STANDING ON TOP OF OTHER FUCKING STORES. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Scott walked away with a fucking Lego Mindstorms Fucking STARWARS FUCKING BOT SET FOR FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS! YOU SUCK SCOTT!!! hehe And then we went back to his place and watched Fight Club on DVD and then tore apart the giganto fucking computer that he had and ripped all the 23049238042398 million platters out of the fucking 469 pound fucking 386 meg harddrive. And then I drove home and didn't get lost so that was cool too. On the whole this weekend FUCKING RULED!

P.S. Scott has MAD lego cool shit and he has the fucking star wars battle droid that has the coolest FUCKING THING FUCKING EVER!.

Scott and i discussed ways to make money and stuff today. I think this is a really good one right here. And I think he has access to some big power tools.

I don't know what this site is about. And I don't rightly care. I just know that the URL deals with two of the greatest things EVER.

Here is a really good interview with the guy that created some of the best games ever (Sim City, The Sims, etc..)

Here is your BLECH OF THE DAY


Well thats it for tonight kiddies.


"This just out of the pressure cooker a combination of pig trotters and boiled pork belly flavored with South African tea, veal stock, various mushrooms and Jinhua ham"

Oh god I sooooooo hope this is true!

My good friend scott. (Who finally read my site again last night) found this link and now I must worship him forever!

Here are some helpful hints for raising your kid.

Check out this pretty fun site. I made some pretty sweet super heros with this shit.

Hmmm I think I may have to make some bumper stickers as soon as I have some extra cash.

Are you interested in Fred's view on everything? I know I am!

I really like this site because it has funny stories!

So another week goes by and we are still not any closer to knowing what "IT" is.. I am hedging my bets on it being a new type of really fuel economic scooter. I guess this is a really good site to watch for any information about IT. Or you can just preorder it on amazon! Perhaps its a zero emmisions car? Naw that would just garner you death threats and stuff..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The perfect present for the little ones in your life. A doll that is pregnant, has a baby, and breast feeds. BLECH o' THE DAY

GO TEXAS! I would love to be able to share this totally interesting yet totally depressing facts with all my cowerkers and friends. Bush is going to suck hard as president.

Umm Lets see. What else. Check out this kick ass X-Entertainment preview of the X-box!


Badda bing. Badda bang. Badda boom

Here is a pretty interesting article predicting the fail of the XFL. I for one am looking forward to it very much. However I don't have cable. So I am at a loss. And MeHead dot com has some other suggestive sports that the XFL can branch off into.

I bet you had no idea that picking your nose could be so dangerous!

I think this is quite possibly the best ISP in existance.

This is.. VERY ODD. I would honestly even call this the return of the BLECH OF THE DAY

Well ladies and gents. I think thats it for now. My girl is down and we are redoing my apartment and cleaning together and stuff. So I am going to try to do another quick post tommorw. Well see whats what.

Check out this site for some very cool games.

La di da di. We likes ta party

Sorry I didn't get to post last night. I kinda lost my internet connection for the night and stuff. But I took my ethernet wire in today and got it transformed into a nice cross over cable and all is well.

This is suprising.

I think cory will apperciate this story very much.

Happy ground hog day!


I found a couple of um, odd sites that I just cant pass up sharing.

Click here for Hot ROBOT GIRL pics !

And go check out Jesus.com and explore it. There is some VERY funny stuff on it, but very odd stuff too.

Also fire up your Napster and download Alphaville - Big In Japan. Very cool song.


What if the hokey pokey IS really what its all about?

Well. That kid that bashed me on his site posted a apology/defense on his site. So I will just leave it at that. My rant was a bit wrong and really not needed. But being one of the first things you see in the morning makes a insult just a wee bit worse.

Anyway. Check out this sweet ass shit! Build your own set-top box!

*drooooooooooooooll* oh god. If only this could play DVDs. This fucking ROCKS SOCKS!

Well. Its good to hear that old traditions stand the test of time.

Oh god. Now I definatly will not ever be able to watch willy wonka. Tim Burton AND Marlyn Manson. And in related Manson news.

AH like tahh blow stuff up realllllllll good now.

I've been saying for years the Microsoft hates jews! Now there is proof!

Well at least I didn't go wrong here.

Like we needed more reasons why george carlin is like britney spears....

Some things around the site and a order of links on the side.

I got some shit actually done with the site. Here is what I have accomplished in the last couple days.
Stripped the old skins off the main page
Massive overhaul of the two side bars. The only part you will be able to notice is the new links and stuff on them and the slight apperance difference. However I have bloggerized my "currently" box on the left, And I am thinking of doing that to some of my other boxes too.
I took out the crappy old ad infested shit poll and have replaced it with a highly skilled php real man poll. So Make sure you vote in it and shit.
Added the random search request that brought someone to the site box to your right.
Made it all fit together a little better.

Things I need to do tommorow:
Fix the fucking part of the page that have a HALLOWEEN SKIN STILL.
Figure out if I want that comment system on the end of each post. Check it out at the end of this post. If you like it leave a comment. If you don't like it leave a comment. If you can't read or write pound your fist against the keyboard to make some random gibberish.
Some behind the scenes stuff I am not ready to reveal yet.
I think that *may* be it. I am sure I will find other shit I need to fix around the way.

I need the perfect link to set this shit off. So I start to check thru my folder of links and I hit myself for not having posted this yet. I am sure most of you will fucking CREAM over this. I know it makes me hella happy. IT HAS A FUCKING QUEST EDITOR!

Have you ever thougth to yourself "Self.. What would jesus do?"? Well maybe you should be asking yourself WWBBD?

I bet you could just spend hours looking thru all these thrilling BBC test cards!

If you have never checked out the smoking gun before then you are really missing out. I think this snippit from their page best describes them:
The Smoking Gun brings you exclusive documents -- cool, confidential, quirky -- that can't be found elsewhere on the Web

Yuppppppppppppp definatly alot of weird-os on the web.

Hmmmmmmmmm I think I have finally picked out where Jamie and I should go on our honeymoon to!

OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo Real life santanic witches! OOOOOOOoooooooo I am scared. Hold me. Kinda just looks like a really lame goth porn site actually.

JOY! I want to become a Alien Time Wizard!!! Oh yeah. I come from the future, but I think I will host my site on GEOCITIES instead of bringing a cool future webserver type invention back with me that may actually impress someone.

Go read about some random peoples first time haveing sex. Woohoo. Excitement abounds.

Yeeoouch. This game looks fucking nuts.

I've dotted on my love for engrish before here. So here is a special treat. Actual japanese commercials! And thanks to our japanese friends lunchtime has never been this thrilling!

It just so happens that I am in the market for some home furnishings as it is. I just don't know how I would explain this to visiting family...

How about some hot lettuce lady action?


I find this a totally funny catch phrase: a site dedicated to in your face breastfeeding The url also kicks ass badassbreastfeedingbabes.org. You really should enter their breastacular domain...

This shit has allways interested me. I fucking love alien shit. I will have you tell you the UFO story that I have sometime soon.

Ok. Well thats it for now. Word to your mothers!

The Spider-Man Movie on the WEB !!!!

Thats right the Spider-Man Movie is on the web ! Okay so its a home made movie, but it is pretty damn good.
Go check it out !