All your tarot are belong to us

Yeah. I know. AYBABTU is old (On a side note check out this page with all your base sung in a few different styles, Elvis, Nirvana, Etc..). I just thought it would be cool in relation to this article. Miss Cleo is taking shit over. First subverting the medical industry, Next the WORLD!

A-albionic used to be a old school crazy shit website. Its all sorts of consipiracy theories and all sorts of stutf. God. I can't believe I used to actually use a gopher client... I found it again because I was doing a little reading about scientolgy. I also refound the Church of Subgenius page, and the church of discordia both of which are VERY crazy shit.

Sweet!!! I just found this big ass page of Mr. T sound clips!!! JOY!

AHHHHHHH... This is scarey. But I guess the uglys need help getting hooked up too....but...blech...

Ummmm apperantly the sun is going to explode tommorow. That kinda ruins all my big plans.. Has anyone heard about the actual story behind this (with the GIANT fucking solar flare and all)

Wheeeeeee games

Hahahaha. Today I got a hit in my logs from someone with the hostname youra.crackhoe.com
thats fucking awesome! And this is their page!!! Whoever you are, your my new hero...

Check out todays BLECH OF THE DAY

I found this site today and I'm quit impressed... I may add them to my links.. When I get them back up!

God. I hate to be wrong. I clicked on a banner ad just a minute ago... And what it led me to was awesome. Thru a banner ad on the pokey the penguin site I found this site. And behold it for it is awesome.

I don't know who these guys are, but they got a link up to this site which makes me quite pleased. They need to make their cell for the table so it shrinks down to size on a smaller rez monitor though. Otherwise the design is pretty cool..

Well. I am gonna to play a little AOE2 and then take a nap and then post some more. Word up!


Remember when I mentioned mudvayne the other day? Heres the video. And heres a picture of dem freaks.

I'll be getting a menu system of some type or putting the links back up on the side or something today. Say something in the comments if you have a preference..

Ok.. Well???

Make sure you let me know what you think of whats going on. Your feedback is important to me...

If your reading this you no doubt saw the big front page. Its pretty much what I said in the last post. Just put up like that for the benefit of those that won't see the last post. I'll take it down in a couple days. Just want to make sure everyone see it and knows where I am coming from..

I think this should proce beyond a shadow of a doubt to scott that I'm not the guy behind the monkey phone calls...

I didn't even know that ign had a dvd section. I just typed it in at random... hehehe But I was looking for more info on this bad ass beastie boys dvd. Someday...

Unless you really read alot about All your base are belong to us, and its history, then you don't know that it was on the something aweful forum that most of the pictures came from. These guys rock ass at photoshop and they are funny as ass.

Sprint has a very nice color screened cell phone coming out soon. I just can't wait till you can play quake on it..


Well. thats it for tonight kiddies. Tommorows another day...


Is it better to burn out or to fade away??

First. The last couple days I haven't posted much.. Just lots of stuff going on in my life..

I am completely broke and in debt. And having a internet connection is a cost I am going to have to go without. Cory suggested banners.. but I REFUSE to put a banner ad on this page. I hate them. I despise them. I loath them..

But I am also incredibly poor. Right now my budget does not even afford money for food.

But. I also put alot of work into making this page and keeping it up and making it something that you guys can enjoy. So I have a proposal. I will put a amazon payment thing on the right hand side. All I ask is that if you come to this page and find even the smallest bit of enjoyment that you give a little something. It doesn't have to be much. Even a dollar will help me out.. Every little bit will be so incredible apperciated. If I make 70 dollars this month (April) I will be able to keep the page up and continue updating it. If not.... the page closes at the end of next month..

I love this page. Its the first even remotely big thing I have ever done in my life. People out there actually make a effort to come here and see what I have written. If your reading this your probably one of them. Updating it makes me happy. Seeing people come here makes me happy. Its all very cathartic...

So for coming here for these months this site has been up I feel I owe you something for coming here and making me happy. So I'm not going to put some lame ass banner ad up. So giving money this way will keep a annoying banner ad out of here too. All you will have to see is the box on the right hand bar. If you have a buck or two please think about giving something back to this end.. To me it seems alot better then a banner ad. And I promise if you guys give me at least 60 bucks over the next 30 some days I will NEVER post another picture of my ass again. Its a fucking promise. And If we meet our goal (I saw ours because its a goal for you too if you enjoy the site) then I will continue posting. And we'll do it all over again the next month as long as I can make this page pay for my connection to the net then I will keep posting.

And its only 15 bucks a week if you want to think of it like that. I get about 50 - 100 hits a day. If different person that came here over a week gave one dollar the entire month would be paid for. AND any money given over the 70 bucks I will donate a portion of it to charity. Ok enough of that. I guess we will view it as a expiriment. If we do it then great. If not then I will say my goodbyes later.

Ok. I won't plug this again for the rest of the month, I may make a quick introduction page to mention it when you come here, and then if you've read it you can just bookmark the normal page.. Either it happens or it doesn't... So bring on the links!!!

I'm fucking terrified of heights. So this doesn't even fucking appeal to me in the least. Though I imagine after girl and I get married we'll find plenty of other weird places.

Its nice to see our new president is fucking WASTING OUR MONEY

Google has a swedish chef search engine!! FUCKING SWEET.


Oh fucking SWEET. This is some tight schwag. A fucking portable cd player that can play fucking VCDS TOO!

I've linked it along time ago... but text mode quake is fucking AWESOME

Now this link is for my best friend cory. I know he is going to be setting this as his homepage!

Corporage goth. For the working goth in your life.

X-entertainment has a new article up about the mysteries of the marvel universe.

And then go to this site and check out all these fucking awesome SNL parody commercials. I think I will dig up that site with all the celebrity jeopardy skits on it too to post later.

Well thats it for now. Thank you all again for just being part of this. No matter how it ends. And comment on this whole thing too. Do you think its good, bad, do you think I suck for asking???


Don't look!

I just had to post to say "don't look at my boy's butt!!!" It's mine!! =-) I can't even believe he posted it actually. It really surprised me but hey, now I have easy access to it during the week =-Þ That's all I have to say. I must go clean now. Oh, and Curtis, if you are reading this, Lindsey is VERY fun!! Ok that's all!!

Work and a science project

Tonight at work was really cool. Remember how a couple days ago I got my hair cut? Girl mentioned it in her post and I think I did too. Well tonight at work we had some fun with it..
Check out my best friend headface. Hes a pretty nice guy. Has a really cute smile.. Oh yeah. He was a sailor at one time...

And click here if you want to see a picture of my ass.

Second part of this is your Jonsnews Science expirement.

Go to you kitchen and see if you have any cornstarch
if you don't go buy some.
Second take a cup of the stuff and put it in a bowl
add a little water and mix
If its clumpy add a little more water
if its runny add more cornstarch

Do this until its kinda pastey

what you have is the most incredible element knowen to mankind. If you put pressure on it it becomes a fucking solid. If you let the pressure off it becomes a liquid. Pick some up and squeeze it and crumbles. Stop squeezeing and it oozes thru your hands....
Its fucking coolk..


I find it funny that this guy is a college professor and he thinks that the moon rock is going to give his sword some magical properties.

Anyways. Cory and I just got done with a really good game of AOE2. He so had me if he hadn't have left his front so open... AOE2 rocks socks..

I'm tired. Cory says I need to post more exciting things about my life.. I got the new ASS catalog and I am going to read that and go to bed so I can have a exciting day tommorow..




I'm gonna go take a nap. I have a cool science trick for you all after though..

I'm half assed tempted to download IE6 again..

Man. What do you guys think of this?? If I went thru the hassel of figuring it out would you use it? Drop a comment. And sign up for the damn mailing list.. ONE person has so far... So sign up. I'll be sending links that I don't post here to it rather soon..

I used to have this toy. It was fucking awesome as I remember it.. I wish we still had crazy ass toys like that now...

I've been watching the advances in wearable computers for the last couple years. I'm getting more and more exiceted for it to hit the main stream....

In todays crazy job market its good to know that job security is just a photograph of your boss with a hooker away..

Its comforting to know that there are crazy assheads out there that will gladly take a $175,000 piece of hardware and turn it into a FRIDGE. You sirs are my heros. And be sure to check out someone who did quite the opposite.

Joy. Its nice to know that not only is the biggest asshole in the country trying to fuck up our relations with other countries, he plans on fucking things up REAL good right here too. Hmmm lets see. Is it really a good idea to open up fucking millions of acres of our national forests for logging and oil and mining? FUCK NO. God this is going to be a royally fucked up four years (Free registration needed for the aticle. Just uses jgilmour69 as the username and pass if you don't feel like registering)

Before MTV picks them up and they get all popular and the fucking shit ass radio stations pick them up and ass fuck our ears with them I just want to say that Saliva ROCKS..

HAHAHAHA GO CALL THIS PHONE NUMBER!!! 1-866-477-9246 Its funny. I think I've heard of it before though.. heheh good stuff.

Ok. Thats it for now.. more later.

Yes Yes...

I just got back from a press conference in Toronto....its even in the news! (hopefully that link works, its like three lines long blah). It was fun i guess, i learnt a lot about how a news conference works. I got to talk to a bunch of news media people but luckily i escaped onto the cutting room floor :)


I got the comments thing fixed. Its all done on the server side via the mighty PHP. So no more ass slowness. Sorry about that.. I was using a prebaked comments system that ran on another system. So I was at their feet if I wanted to use it. I was afraid of writing one in php. But it wasn't that bad.. It all works now.. so lalala

Thats one battle down for the site. Still got the BIG one left. If ANYONE of you has even the slighest idea how to search multiple files for a string and replace them with another string in linux (or windows) without FUBARing the files please drop a note in the comment for this post.

Also If you haven't allready then sign up for the Jonsnews Mailing list. Its two way so you guys can send shit too. Either send a email to jonsnews-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or click here for a mailto link, or click the hand button the follows and sign up via the web.

Click to subscribe to jonsnews


I like my sugar with cofee and cream.

I dig the beastie boys. They are tight shit..

Hopefully I can keep girl posting. Noone else has signed up for the mailing list yet. So get on it. Two posts down buddy. Three ways to do it. Zero excuses not to..

I fixed the slow loading problems we were having. But at the cost of taking out the commenting system. I will work on replaceing that too.

I think everyone at work and girl will agree that there are times when I could really use one of these.

This is fucking sweet! Check out the microsoft mouse art!!!

The next two links got emailed me by curtis. The first one Jackin world is a great site for all you lonely guys out there.. The second is the greatest list of drinking games in the history of man. But I don't think they have the Tech support drinking game.

And Joel found this and its very very very very pretty and shiney!!!

Furrybid. Its kinda like ebay for furry freaks. Blech.

Wow. This site is really really really lame. Make sure to check out their examples. Asking someone to marry you should be this big romantic thing that you do.. not that comes packaged on a website for you to just email to someone..

This lady chronicled all the advertisements she encountered throughout her day. Very interesting read.

OOOOOOOOooooooooooooo I may have to get this burned to audio. I fucking love william gibson. This would be mega sweet for the trip up to girls and back constantly...

Man... These things are mega badass. If I wasn't so fat and uncoordinated I would get a pair... Read this article about them too.

Shiney!! shiney!! shiney!!

I FUCKING WANT A CUSTOM MAGIC 8 BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And check out this guy who dissected a magic 8 ball.

Naked Volleyball. The URL is descriptive enough.

One of my favorite holidays, April fools day, is only a week away.

Woah. This is a pretty crazy idea. Its weird. It would be weird to see me on a card some day.. crazy

Scifi.ign.com has a good article up about ten of the best fantasy stories ever. I need to start reading more.

Check out survivor monster island!

Sometimes I can reallly groove to J-pop. and the pizzacato five are at the top of the game. Its a shame they are breaking up.. but they are leaving 15 years of fucking wonderful music behind them. J-pop is really cool. If you would like to explore this awesome genra of music check out some of these bands as well as the pizzacato five: Cibo Matto, Cornelius, Buffalo Daughter, Towa Tei, Fantastic Plastic Machine, Kahimi Karie, and Puffy. Even if you can't understand the words, you know good music when you hear it.. Music transcends language..

I honestly think this is one of the weirdest things I have ever found on the internet to date. I can't tell if its fake or really some crazy guy and his cat and his trailer outside pretty much 24 hours a day.. Creepy.

Well my neighbor just had a orgasm.. Good for her.... wait.. Make that two... The first was a gasping porn star orgasm. The last one didn't really sound that great. I think her man let her down the second time. But then again thats if she even has a man.
I think I should go put a big sign in their front yard that says "I heard you doing the wild monkey dance and posted about it on www.jonsnews.com. And all you got was some lousy public humiliation"
Fucking a! Now the walls are doing some thumping.. This is the play by play folks. Her guys making a come back. Shes moaning. Thump thump thump.. Wait. I think he fired his round off too quick. Poor guy.

Its funny. I made enough noise in the house. They gotta know I'm home.. plus I banged around in this room for awhile before they started bumping uglies.

Ok. I think they are finally done pounding ass. Back to our programming.

I'm back!

Hey! This is 2 times in one night. Go me! I am really quite tired right now...but I don't think I could bring myself to go to sleep. That's ok though because now I can just post my life away. Wow i'm lame. That's okay though. If you ever hear Jon complaining about needing a haircut, tell him to go to a barber because I will never cut his hair again after this last time. "Oops" seemed to be a popular word while I was cutting his hair. I think we got it fixed up though. It's just really...short. It's cool though. Welllllll, I am going to get to bed I suppose. Night.


I haven't posted on here for quite a while but i'm bored right now so I figured I would! I really don't have anything to post, I just found my account stuff in my email so I figured I would use it again...so I guess i'm done...Hey boy!! =-)

Real Seafood. Real Quick.

God.. I am so hard up for good titles. I just got that from a Cap'n Dee's bag sitting on my computer desk. God.. Cap'n catch fish sandwichmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm oh god they are so fucking yummy. I may have one for lunch...

I installed IE6 beta last night. Its got some REALLY bad ass shit. And it seems even faster then IE5.. BUT all the frames in bloger where fucked up so I trashed it.. When I trashed it, it decided to take OE with it. Even though I specifically said DO NOT INSTALL OE6 MOTHER FUCKER. So I had to recover that and blah blah blah

Before I get to the links I want to say "subscribe to the JonsNews mailing list!!!!!!!" Its neat. As soon as membership breaks 10 I will start sending stuff to it. And its cool cause you guys can send shit to the list too. Its good times... And if you don't fancy mailto links send a email to jonsnews-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Or you can use this button:

Click to subscribe to jonsnews

I read on some site that this was going to be the "Next big search engine" and it was going to smashdown google. Fuck that. It looks like utter ass and its just shit. Google is the best search engine EVER.

I am REALLY excited about the x-box (I was going to link the official site.. but they got ride of their sock rocking flash.. So they can suck it). I have went from a MS hating person to actually loveing the products. They may not be the most ethical. But IE is just fucking AWESOME. And their games are fucking ass awesome.. AOE2 and Midtown madness are some of the best games I have ever played. So now MS is saying that we don't have to worry about BSOD on the gaming system SWEET. And I heard somewhere else yesterday they have the boot time down to less then a second..

Check out these majorly badassed headphones..

Looks like the guy who invented slim jims died. I wonder if Macho Man randy savage will deliver the eulogy. OHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah

It looks like canada may be facing a national crises. I wonder how much you could make going over there and helping to fill up their reserves...

"British space scientists " I found that sentance funny. I didn't even know the british had discovered space yet.. Let alone had any plans on going there. Have the brits ever even sent a man into space yet on their own??? If you know post in the comments.

Chi chi chi chip and dales MMORPG!!!

I think I've posted this before.. but do we really need erotic origami?

This game is hella fucking fun. Go play it. I kinda got distracted from writing this to play it.

AHHHHHHHHHHH this is crazy!!! Watch some baseball player nail the fuck out of a bird. Its fucked up.

This was a really good read. I used to be addicted to MTG big time. The game sold out too though. It changed... I stopped playing when I moved out and then i went to start playing again and it had gotten to the point where you HAD to buy all the new cards because all your old cards were useles...

"A man whose hobbies include stripping has hoisted a 1959 Chevrolet pickup into a 30-foot tree as a clubhouse and romantic getaway for women" I'll give you one hint where this guy is from... But people are also totally retarded here in ohio too.

Heres the most morbid site I have found in awhile... The worst ways to die.

Be sure to check out these nutty japanese inventions. Such as the butter stick!

This link is for scott. Cause I know he is slavering to see Jennifer Lopez's nipples...Too bad shes not hot.

Hey look kids. You can get your papel blessings online now!!! All we need is a quick and easy form for the total absolution of sins and we should be all set. Yet another reason I don't dig organize religion too much.

It makes me happy when Matt reviews stuff. So go read his newest review of all the n64 games he has. And check out this review on x-e of all the great classic kids games you know you used to play.

They are finally ending the Bozo the clown show. And they are going to replace it with a moderinzed version.. blech. Clowns are scarey

Mr. Bean saves the day yet again!

Go here for some ideas on how to give your computer a face lift!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH i want to live in japan!!!!!!!

GREAT! My last quarter of college, 10 more weeks before I get to join the working force, and I get stuck with the a shitty economy to look forward to.
I've waited this long to become independant and to be able to make a living for myself, only to walk out into the world on unsteady ground. Not more than a few months ago, they were talking that the economy was the best it could get. America was great and prosperous. Then January hit, a new president was elected and now people aren't so sure. Looking back around the time of the Gulf War, the economy was the same way, unsteady, unstable and lacking promise. AAHH, connection.. never let a Bush into the whitehouse.
Its bad enough that our generation won't see Social Security and that we'll have to clean up after the baby boomers but just think how bad it will be for my future offspring.. Paying $10 for a gallon of gas, $20 for a pack of Marlboro's, and $1000 a month to heat their homes.
Ok, thats looking too far into the future, but at the current rates, it could happen.
Thats the price you have to pay for living in a "Free" country I suppose. Only if free means having to live day by day, sitting and waiting for one extramely old person to say wether the US economy is good or bad, then yes.. we live in a totally free country.
But for now I guess I'll have to make the best of whats been delt to me. I'll just have to keep a poker face and hold that ace up my sleeve a few rounds longer.

HEY!! Lexi, is there a need for Computer Science majors in Canada? Just curious.


Chillin like a villian..

Awwwwwwwwwwwww yeah..
I'm fully back. Tonight after I get back from watching wrestling at corys I am going to work on the menu system, and some other page shit that I need to do. I had a good few days away from it all.. but I'm reading to be updating again.

Check out this article about some of the crazyness that went on in MIR. I think this shits cool..

C-net has a pretty good review of windows XP up...

Looks like this new robopup is going to be kick the aibos ass left and right. Its pretty badass. Check out the IGN write up of it.

And this is the most disturbing site I have for you right now..

Test it out.

Sign up and send some messages. If this one sucks we will try another one.

sign up by sending a email to jonsnews-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
or just click here if you don't want to copy and paste. The mailing list is going to be like little nuggets of jonsnews throughout your day!!!

Does anybody know?

Of a really good mailing list service? I want to start a jonsnews mailing list.

Wow. The site seems really crippled without the menu on top.. checking into one that cory suggested.

Sweet Googly Moogly

Not having any hair on your head makes you quite cold. My hair has never been this short in my entire life.. but its well worth it cause girl really likes it and she keeps playing with my head so i plan on having this haircut for a looooooooong time..hehehe

I just saw two of the most fucked up videos ever. MTV just playd Butterfly by Crazytown.. which is a song I like.. the video is ok.. then they follow it up by (I think) L.D.50 by a band called Mudvayne. THEY ARE FUCKED UP AHHHHHHHHHHh I'll find pictures to post later. I was scared. Then I saw the video for I did it by DMB which is a seriously fucked up video too..

Girl should be home from school soon.. So lalala more later.


I'm just getting to bed. I removed the fucking menu at top cause I actually loaded the page on dialup and it made me want to stick fucking lamanated yak pieces into my brain.

So.. I have it all backed up so I can do something else with it.. just not sure what..

So.. beddy bye time for me...


Holy Shit, mawd is posting!!!

ok, now, i have never been a big fan of Britney Spears. i have also never found much humor in your everyday fart joke.


what i have found, is when you put the two of them together, you have one of the funniest things i have ever seen. ENJOY.

Got 10 or 15 minutes to spare?

Then check this out. Click on the link then click on "See an animation about a cat" (or whatever it is it says there, i forget now). This site is THE most amusing thing i have seen in about ... well ... a few months at least. its like 10 minutes long at least though, so go when you have some time. its worth it.
im excited. i just found the best ever server on hotline, AND I have this new 30 gig just WAITING for some mp3s...in a day ive dled about 2 gig of pure punk...*sighs in exstacy* yes yes, this is a good day.
except for this pesky need to redo my page into easter colours...hmmm i think purple pink yellow baby blue and baby green will do the trick *idea* woo im off to try it now mwah!


Jon is gone, but I am here

The ONLY link you should be concerning yourself with today is ...


It opened today and is fucking great. I have an embarassing stain in my pants from prolonged exposure.


Mir coming down...

Well. It landed today. Since fucking mirreentry.com doesn't have shit for videos like it promised I sifted thru yahoo pictures to find these fine fine fine photographic samples from the recent splashdown.
Check them here and here and here and here and here and here (and here is the big list. Some of them are of guys and stuff too. . so not all burning space station.) and here is the yahoo news piece about it. Oh yeah. No free taco for you! Here is one more really cool picture too. This guy was so wound up in the mir reentry that he off'd himself.

Wow. Another school shooting today. And then this teacher tells his students that he is "Going to make columbine look like a Sunday picnic" if they don't behave.. I wonder if he realises how fucking stupid that was? And it looks like our new president fucking choose a hell of a attorney general.. Yeah. Ashcroft is a piece of shit. He is allready blaming fucking video games for school shootings. FUCK HIM. How about we take a look at the fucked up kids driving the other kids to this shit. How about the kids that ostrasize the and cast out kids that aren't "NORMAL". I was lucky to have a couple of really good teachers in highschool to keep me from going this route. I had a fucked up dream about school shootings last night too.. Its kind of scarey consider this happened this morning. Here is a quote from ASScrofts pig head. "Attorney General John Ashcroft said Friday that video games that "literally teach shooting" and other forms of violence in entertainment are part of the problem when it comes to school shootings" I want you all to go read the excellent articles entitle voices from the hells mouth that were on slashdot after the columbine shootings. They are very long articles.. but well worth your time if you had a school career anything like mine... Read em in order from one on.

Looks like someone has stolen microsofts digital certicate.. oh no...

This is the greatest title for a news article EVER.. its fucking wonderful!

Woah. This site has some pretty bad assed shit on it.. tight. I used to do alot of diving if the swimmy is fast I would have loved one of them.

Uhhhhhhhh spring water with alochol??? riiiiiiiiiiiiiight..

HAHAHAH this is great! Unicycle jousting!!! This is the only real sport. Besides wrestling!!! Oh yeah.. speaking of wrestling looks like the WWF bought the piece of shit WCW. YAY so hopefully they can save the few good wrestlers from that piece of shit.


I so fucking agree with this article.. None of the fuck words I have avaible to me are as offensive as I wish they were.. So FUCK YEAH

Check out the ramen museum!!!!!!

Arkansas considers banning evolution from textbooks.

Looks like bart is going to get his swerve on in the upcoming simpson movie. I don't know.. simpsons isn't as edgy and good as it used to be..

This is kind of sad.. But I would love to be there. I loved Jim Varney's work. (most of it).

Make sure you go take the scientology brain control test!

Well. This would be a hell of a birthday party!!!!

The world is way fucked up my friends..

I would shit if a moose pooped on my car!!! It would rock!

This ash soundboard is fucking sweet!!!!!

This is a mother fucking shame. I have been a lifelong fan of mad magazine. My dad used to read it with me when I was a kid.. This is aweful...

Check out this great transformers parody!

Hey guys. Sorry I'm late!!! We still have time for a quick armageddon?

Make sure to go order your very own bear safety kit!!!

Die screaming with sharp things in your head is still quite possibly one of my favorite sites EVER.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Its a godzilla wedding!!! AHHHHH

Heres a page for a chick with multiple personality disorder.. Check it out.. Be sure to check out her alters! Its all the more disturbing because she refers to herself as a system.


I used to watch this show alot. It was canadian and I lived right near canada. But I could NEVER want to know this much about it.

Hmmm getting a brand new hymen is a enticing though. Now you can be a virgin over and over again.

Check out ouchy the clowns website. Yet another reason I HATE clowns!


So anyways. I am gone till sunday night. So I hope between this and anyone else posting it will hold you till then.. night night

The Awesomest Picture Ever

ok im sorry to post a picture here but good god this is the best picture you'll ever see from my school, this happened about a week ago, and yes, i saw it with my own eyes. god bless the engineering students at the universtiy of windsor (woo my school made it into the national papers!)

now THAT is what i call priceless. cheers!


Why has my god forsaken me ?

I have some VERY sad news. UO2 - Ultima Online 2 has been canceled. Fucking Electronic Arts, the same retards who make the WCW Games, thought that the money and energy best would best be served redirected in to Ultima Online since they already have a user base of 230,000 players and with UO The 3rd Dawn coming out, I am sure they didnt want to be over shadow or at the worst compete with themselves.

Here is a quote from one of Cynthe, the Community Coordinator:

Obviously there's no easy answer as to why the game's production was halted, and I know many of the community members want to hear a reason that they can understand. Unfortunately, it all comes down to what is best for the company, and for our future in the online games market. In Ultima Online, we have a game that has grown exponentially beyond our expectations, and has 230,000 loyal subscribers currently. Considering the success of UO, we took a good long look at ORIGIN and came to a hard realization. We had a long way to go before the game would be ready for testing, and the resources that would be required to finish the job were huge. The payoff would be a second game, where customers would be expected to start anew, running directly in competition with Ultima Online, which is still growing at this time. The resources that would have been required to complete ORIGIN will instead be refocused into Ultima Online, making sure that we can expand and support it for some time to come, and still keep our ccurrent subscribers. As for the other studios, EA will continue to put resources into MMOG's, like Earth and Beyond, MotorCity and the Sims Online.

So its fucking over, now I am stuck with that feces belching Yak scrotum -
Everquest or nothing else for quite awhile.  Yeah sure there are other
online roleplaying games coming out, but UO2 would have been EPIC !

Damn, Damn, Damn !

yes thats right, i suck

i have a feeling like im going to get "eeked" if i dont post, my apologies for not being the most reliable poster but not only is it crunch time here at school, its soon to become exam time (in about 2 weeks...), plus ive been sick and my excuses really dont matter i know. Anyhow, as if all this school crap wasnt bad enough, my SO CALLED best friend decided to start dating and fall in love with my ex while i was having my computer fixed (thats right, in about 4 days they fell in love...HA!...my personal belief is if it isnt instant, it takes at least 3 months, but thats just me). i dont have much to say today, it was like 60 out today (WOOHOO...thats 15 celcius for you canadian folk like myself), i handed in a paper, got another one back, and did a presentation, so im about talked out but i thought i'd post anyways to say to those of you who are still in high school that DONT THINK THE PETTY IMMATURE CRAP STOPS WHEN YOU GET TO COLLEGE, IT JUST GETS WORSE!!!
Those are Lexi's words of wisdom for the day, have a good one!


Well, I'm taking a break from my spring break vacation in Guam to post to JonsNews.
I spent the weekend celebrating my 21st birthday, mainly saturday, the 17th. Yes, I turned 21 on St.Patricks day and it was freakin sweet. Well, not that sweet, could have been better, but I enjoyed myself. Before now it was like "yeah..." but from here on out(or until i'm married) It will be "WAAHOOO.. Its my beer, pass me another birthday guuuyzz!!"
After getting sloshed at a bar, my friends and I went to a strip club. There we were greated with hot faces and even hotter bodies. Even though these woman get up in front of you and dance naked, don't be fooled.. they are buisness woman. Thats thier job and they are damn good at it too. They will do anything to get into your pants, but not to play pocket jockey. They want whats in the back pocket.. your money. Being the successful buisness woman that they are, they can flash stick their breasts and ass in your face and before you know it your broke, and for what? To get teased? Hell I could go rent a porno for $3.99, but with the porno I can rewind the damn thing and watch it again and not pay a cent heh.
Don't get me wrong, I love having a chick dancing in front of me wearing nothing but a smile. That night I only paid $13 so I can't complain, it pays to have friends with some flow, but damn.

And now for a moment of silence. I know its a little late for this Jon, but I thought better late than never. I'm going to give my regards to Hank the Handspring. I was there to wittness his untimely demise. It was like a movie in slow motion.. falling.. and falling.. and then BANG.. I could have swore I heard a muffeled cry of pain. So to you Hank.. I hope you have a good afterlife filled full of Lithion batteries and hundreds of moduals to swap at your hearts content.


Hey all *lame title ensues*

girl is coming down.. This week is our year and one half anniversery.

I'm not going to be online much at all this week.. So I will see if Scott will post and I will depend on the rest of the crew to post as much as they can to make up for me not posting.
so uhh
If they don't post I am going to try to eek out a couple..

in the mean time check out some of the sites that I like up in the menu if you don't see anyone posting on here. I will try to though..

Check out this interview with Genndy Tartakovsky Creator of Dexters Lab. And get some info on his new upcoming series.

Warning. Warning. Warning. Beware todays BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!

Here is a big list of pretty much ever sexual euphemism you could ever want.'

OOOOOOOooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoOoOOOOOOOO I want one of these.

Looks like it may be the end for the satyr.. Which is sad. Its one of my favorite sites.

I think its total bullshit that we live in a country where the free flow of asparagus will be impeded by our government. I mean. For fucks sake. I am a grown man and if I want to go to the store and buy 10 stalks and go home and cook them then so fucking be it. I don't think its right that kids can go to any guy on the street and get some underground "gus".. But thats the parents fault for not teaching kids to take vegetables seriously.

Man.. and then after these jokers try to take away our god given right to asparagus we have these clowns over on the other side trying to say the smurfs are communists!

cool shit and stuff for you all

Man.. my titles have been super atomic lame lately..
oh well...

I've been busy today. I got alot done.. still no girl though =-(

This is the making the rounds this morning.. I think its pretty sweet. If MIR hits this when it splashes down. then EVERYONE IN THE USA will get a free taco from taco bell.

Today was a good day.

I don't know why either. It started off sucking BAD. I still haven't heard from girl since friday night..well.. early saturday morning..
But work tonight.. was.. ok...

It kind of felt like it used to feel for a little while. I was in a good mood and everything was right there for a little while. I'm still trying to pin down why...

There are a few reasons I love the kult. One is that they post crazy shit like this.

I fucking HATE the banners In icq.. I fucking HATE banners in general. People have suggested I put a couple up on my site to make some cash. No way. This is something I really enjoy and I strive every day to make it something that I would enjoy coming to everyday. Banner ads aren't something I like to see... It appears i'm not the only one who thinks this way. Since ICQ is getting hella feedback about their fucky ads.

*JIZZ* Thats how everyone is reacting about it. I think they suck. 3com is ass now. As unxmaal put it:
Unxmaal: palm's a buncha fuckers now
Unxmaal: 1. all new palms will have 4.0 . no old palms can get it.
Unxmaal: 2. the expansion cards are overpriced and solely there for SDMI
Unxmaal: 3. there's no real new featurs

And then from here he went on to BLOW MY FUCKING MIND

Unxmaal: think about the trgpro
Unxmaal: cf slot
Unxmaal: what'll go in those?
Jonsnews6969: i would jizz
Unxmaal: hehehehe
Jonsnews6969: link!
Unxmaal: www.trgpro.com
Jonsnews6969: and they run the palmos?
Unxmaal: yesh =]
Unxmaal: lookatit!
Unxmaal: at it
Unxmaal: not.. look, a tit

You know what else? I used to like Daft Punk ALOT. They were.. original and unique (Around the world is one of the greatest songs like that I have ever heard. That whole cd ROCKED SOCKS). Yesterday I heard one of their new songs refered to on the radio as "The feel good song of this summer" FUCK THAT. And it was on the fucking crappy crap crap shit station around here that I heard it said on too. Listen to the webcast. You WILL hear shaggy within a hour. And then within another hour you will hear him about three more times.. this is jammed between the rest of the hour trying to get all the new britney spears, backdoor boys, and fucking new kids on the block crammed in there...

I just saw this site linked over at the crawlspace and figured I would link It. Its pretty cool. Plus she digs spiderman so bonus points there..

The japanese have some VERY fucked up TV shows. I wish I lived in Japan.

I'm all about a womans choice for abortion, Not ALL the time though. If it was a consentual thing then fuck you. Have the kid. If you were stupid enough to get knocked up your not going to end a fucking life because you couldn't remember to take your pill or you couldn't wait to squat on your boyfriends cock until you could get a condom. If the child is from something like rape. Its understandable. But aborting because your 12 and don't want to be responsible for you actions is complete and utter BULLSHIT. I have ALOT of respect for this guy. They were fucking going out. They decided to have sex. It may have been accidental. But unless you aren't taking precautions then there is no such thing as accidental. Fuck yeah. I hope he wins and she has to carry the baby to term. I don't agree with the laws that say that kids can get a abortion without their parents knowledge... bullshit. Its shit like this that makes our society so fucked up. A fucking 7th grader can go fucking be a slut and let her boyfriend into her panties and fucking fuck all she wants. No worries. You get knocked up you can just go get a abortion. Hit reset and play again.
The world is fucked up sometimes.
Sex is something meaningful and beautiful and meant for two growen adults (more if your kinky) that love each other.
Kids are meant for a couple that loves each other with all their hearts and plans to love and care for the child in the same manner.

And if you don't agree then fucking say so in the comments shit at the end of the post. Its there cause I want to fucking hear from you guys.

I fucking love Voltnet. Any site that shocks the shit out of stuff gets my respect. Especially furbys!

Welcome to todays BLECH OF THE DAY!!!! Of interest here are the galleries where you can find this picture and this picture(say. weren't you in metal gear solid?).

If you have never been to suck.com I suggest it. Their rants are some of the best.

Also you need to check out afrosquad. I remember when this site was just starting...

Still looking for a way to beat the man in the napster game? Heres another tool

Unxmaal also clued me into a fucking awesome recipe tonight. Its in the recipe section. Quick easy and good.

Still no girl though =-(
haven't talked to her in about.. three days now.. tommorow is day four..



as it stands

Right now I have a bunch of cool sites to post. I am just have a really shitty day and I can't get motivated to actually write stuff for them.

Today so far has sucked more dick then I have seen a day suck for quite awhile.


I was thinking of maybe napping. But I don't even feel like that..
heres a couple links or something

the Bank of Japan has dropped intrest rates to near zero.. Cool...

I know whenever I go to a movie first thing I do is get comfy.. then I take out my genitals..

If only this was jolt.

Mr. Junglebunny

I'm a huge proponent of stricter spam laws. I hope these assholes go to jail.

I've been listening to the Blue man group all day. They rock. Read this article about how they came to be.


FreakJobs abound

Sites like this disturb me.

This has to be the most.. Politically Incorrect and off the wall fetish EVER!

I'm all for safe sex. Go safe sex!! but.. What the FUCK?

And penis costumes?? I mean.. But.. Never mind.. I'm not even go into details about my penis..

If your looking to have some fun. I would say high voltage is the way to go.

I think that whatever dude has nailed ALL the points of not wanting to see the horror that is the upcoming scoobydoo movie

I've allways drawn the line at playing pranks with pot. For reasons like this.

Heres a panicy japanese response to mir flying over head. And heres a link to the mir reentry site.

Nothing says religion like BOOBS

Oh god. I so wish I had money to waste on this! I wish I had money to waste on anything..

Well. I'm going to bed.. Hopefully Jamie will be down here when I get up..

Tsk Tsk Tsk

Looking at the poll. I notice that one of the sites has a hundred votes

Odd I didn't get 100 hits today.

So the score is wiped.


Though if you wanna send people from your site to vote thats fine.

I also fixed the whole "Being able to vote multiple times"

Scott says I'm tricky
But you have to imagine him saying it in a bad Japanese accent


well i FINALLY got my stupid computer back this morning, so i decided i would come back here right away and see what had gone on, and i noticed you all got a great description of bappe, so i figure well hell, im boringer than bappe so im going to make all of you read about me. so here goes! (reminder, im very boring and unoriginal so im just going to copy what bappe was describing)
i was born june 19, 1980, making me almost 21. i was born in north york ontario (part of toronto) and i still live about 20km from the city when im not in windsor, on for school (about 400km from toronto), i'll be finished my second year of university at the university of windsor in april. im 5'5 and my weight is my business, my hair is blue (naturally dark brown), my eyes are green and i have glasses heres a picture of boring old me. if youre interested in my personal life, i'm dating james from m00f.net we have been friends for 5 years, dating since 6 months ago and ive been posting on his page since its birth over a year and 4 months ago. i like every kind of music there is except heavy rock/heavy metal or country. i must remind you ill be 21 in june but i dont have my drivers license. i have a webpage formerly called Lexi's Waste of Time, now just called Lexi. because im unoriginal like that. i give it holiday themes (the most recent of which was a st patties day theme) because i get chunks of spare time that i choose to waste on my page. im a good student, and work for residence staff at my university. i was an academic don this year and will be the RA Academic next year. whats that translate to? basically im an RA for school questions and crap that the regular RAs cant answer because they havent been trained to and dont have time to either. i have a mom a step dad who is the only dad ive ever had and 2 great danes at home. i think volkswagons and audis are the best cars on the planet. ive had the internet for over 5 years and cant picture life without it.
now theres an information overload for you. haha. bet youre bored now arent you? just imagine being me. sucks eh? damn straight. did i mention im an internet adict? *shrugs* oh and im almost bilingual (english and francais, my bio dad is a francophone). c'est tout.

My entire day so far:

Bappe was commenting on my three posts so far today. So I'm gonna make it four.. then after supper I may even post some more.. hehehe

So far my day has gone like this:

Went to bed at about 330 or so
Woke up at 8am. Feeling quite good.
cooked some breakfast.
Made a new poll. Which everyone needs to vote on!
Showered, soaked in the bath for like a fucking hour and read.
Played conkers
Watched 90% of Princess Mononoke
Fell asleep doing that
Woke up.
Working on another post.
Posted this one.

My life today is thrilling!


I set up a new poll.
Since Internet rage took down their site of the week poll I figured I would run one. So check out all the following sites (If you don't allready) and vote for your favorite!!!!

Damn the Electric Fence (Hopefully it will be back soon)
fact0r dot net
Twilight Headquarters
Power Sandwich
Guilty By Association
Coolios Doggy style (though I just found he has taken my link down. So I'm not sure if he qualifies as a linked site. Ah well. If you like 'em vote anyways)

So uhh... Yeah. Shower time. I need to stop fucking around with shit.
And just so you all know. Scott is still working on his site. He showed me some of his beta shit and its WAY tight.


I jsut tried waking up.

I don't think its such a good idea. I'm going back to bed and going to try it again.....

In the meantime., Check out:

The Canonical List of Weird Band Names

And SQUIRREL HAZING: the Untold story

This kinda reminds me of my town!

Take the Geek Purity Test

Its kinda cool seeing the darwin effect at work.

Doing some research to find out about something scott and I were talkinga bout last night (Wine Vs. Beer) I found this. I can't find that damn BAC caculator that cory sent me the other night.

And since there is not alot of news this morning I'm going to go with the trend of posting some classic sites. In case you were't a reader at the time, Or just didn't click the links the first time we went on the crazy ride..

Check out the Keds Masturbation Manual.

I'm a big proponent of teaching fisting in our schools. Our children need to learn these things if we have ANY hope at all of having another fucked up generation...

Mynx is love advice for geeks. Very funny shit.

When the chinese do something. They do it fucking right.

The big list of femal masturbation in movies

SWEET! Sexual records dot com has updated. That site rocks.

SUPRISE! Its been awhile since I did that eh?

The Kama Sutra of Pooh!

This bothers me... Why would anyone EVER by USED SEX TOYS???

And if your not amazed by anything I have linked yet I would like for you to go to this site. Now... Spend some time here.. Look around.. there is ALOT of content. You WILL find something funny/bothering about this site.

Ok. I don't think I am going to go to bed. I'm gonna go shower and play conkers..

holy fuck
I think I aaay be drnnk
Onejug of wine down
foour kaluahs and milk on icee

And two movies later.

Things are kind of blurring totgetehr.

everything has little traiils around it
just checked some of the pages I check ever day and nothing is new. MI can't get my head to stand up right.

Scott and I watched scrarey movie and some other movie. I don't know what the first moive..wait.. It was... something with a killer.. Oh fuck... the cell.
if I leave my head tipped to one side too long everything g3ets blurry so i I havet o switch back and forth

the cell was cool

scarey moive was way more funny while inebriated
thats a hard word to spell while you are expericeing it..

I can't find it in myself to belive that the antique road show is fucking people over.

Right now nhaving a giant sluig clean my house seems like a good idea.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck
say it ain't so


fuck me

I have over 30 dollars of late fees due at every place in town..

If I hadn't have been drinking I would go to the city to get a movie.. I don't think I owe anything ther.. And IF i do then there are more places to get accounts at


Slow news night

There is not shit happening on the internet. So I am resorting to drinking

Its just not the same.. But maybe tonight SCott will have a sporting chance if we play mario party!

I guiess I could sit here and read forum3000 for hours on end. Like I so love to do. But I think I may to rent a movie and hope that mores happening tommorow..

But I'm gonna dig up some classic shit for you my friends

Lets see. LEts start off with bendy pretzle people. Ooooooooooooooo

Tooo lazy to find your own porn? LEt Jane do it for you!

I soooooooo wish this was a real show. It would rock the most socks.

Man. This is some major weird shit. Blech. Its fucked up.

This year luckily I won't be filling out the losers tax form.

This a domain name like this. People must FLOCK to you to buy your product..

Happy second birfday to metafilter. Its a very keek web site. I like it quite alot.

Segfault dot org is a great fake news site. Quite funny stuff. Allmost as good as the onion

Check out this early picture from the resident evil movie set?
i fucking loved milla in the 5th element

I'm allmost bored enough to do this.

Fuck it. I'm gonna go rent amoive and some games. I'm boredand I miss girl. really really really bad..

Bappes Group of the Week

So i don't run out of things to post i decided to try a group of the week thing. This is pretty much just whatever cd is in my stereo at the moment(if i'm listening to it its gotta be good!).

Right now is The Union Underground. They kick major arse!

I found a sweet tshirt you can order with a pic of a creepy gothic chick on it at infinity 1. It's pretty sweet.

Their album entitled An Education In Rebellion is definitely worth the $$.

At least download some of their shit! I recommend using audiogalaxy for mp3 downloads, screw napster.

Today fucking sucked

Today fucking sucked a donkeys sweaty meat pole

Today fucking licked a lions creamy booty hole

Today I wish I was Weasly Willis so I could properly sum it all up.

I'll post tommorow.
Absolutly NOTHING good happened today. Not shit happened on the internet either..

this weekend is going to suck too.

but with no jamie that means all I have to do is post and play red alert two.
so lots of links this weekend.. yay!


A little bit about bappe

Since i'm new to the site i guess i'll tell you guys a little bit about myself.
-i was born on july 27, 1983 in lexington, nebraska which makes me 17 and in my 11th year of high school.
-i'm about 5'9 and 180 lbs. brown hair blue eyes. size 12.5-13 shoe.
-i currently live in the same house i've lived in my whole life.
-i attend cozad high school. our teams are called the haymakers, don't laugh to hard.
-i play football for the haymakers, middle linebacker and offensive guard. i hate offense though. i'm #65.
-i suck at math and chemistry. i excel ay weight training, straight A's.. hehe(well, until i busted up mr wrist)
-favorite thing to do is hit the rocky mountains on a pair of skiboards.
-i've been a part of internetrage since the beginning.
-rach, also part of netrage, is my girl :-)
-i'm into music such as: slipknot, static-x, the union underground, rob zombie, papa roach, godsmack, linkin park, disturbed, limp biskit, nine inch nails, etc.
-good movies: the matrix, fight club, the skulls, final destination, and a bunch of other shit i can't think of right now.
-i love chinese food, crab ragoon is the best. and of coarse everyone loves pizza..
-i live out in the country with both parents and a sister. we have 2 dogs, 2 horses, and too many cats.
-i drive a black '78 datsun 280z and i own a kawasaki jetski.

Well i hope that's enough info to satisfy your curiousity cuz i can't think of another damn thing ti say about my boring life. Any questions, feel free to email me any time about anything. I will try to always reply. Have a fantastic life.. Later.

This title is intentionally left blank

Man. I love crazy shit like this. My favorite part of old poplular mechanics and pop sci was the back ads for crazy shit like this..

If your a south park fan AND a star wars fan you may be interested in checking this out.

These monkey calls are getting better and fucking better. Yesterday I linked the one that Unxmaal showed me with the dieing fish. The original one has been yanked by ebay. This one is great though.
Its kind of become a fad of sorts. Searching ebay I found the following phone calls avaible to you:
Funny Joke phone call
Listen to me use the toilet phone call
A phone call from the king
Desert bad phone call
Flopping dieing fish phone call
Humorous Imitation Cow Phone Call And another cow call
And the one that started it all

And I think thats all of them


Here is a site with ALOT of pretty cool java games on it to play..

And then we have todays BLECH OF THE DAY. I mean.. come on. Tell me you have honsetly NEVER wanted to fuck a goose?
Heres a little quote followed by my take on it.
The goose will quickly bend his tail down and will hopefully be pushing directly into your mouth. -- BE CAREFUL!!-- When the goose orgasms, the penis will shoot out under a fair amount of pressure. During my learning process, the first time this happened, he moved and I got ejaculate shot up my nose
First of all. I did not know that a Goose penis could actually shoot out of its body! I would be more worried about getting the entire good penis lodged into my eye. And how does this work for the goose? Do you have to reload it like one of those GI Joe missles that you push the button and they launch?
And if I was a zoophile..I think the thought of getting goose ejaculate in my nose would scare me away from this whole thing...

But it would be cool to see a gooses penis detach from the body and shoot across the room..

Oh. Your dragon style is strong. But my Cane style is best!
Canemasters.com Teaching you how to beat someone with a stick!

SaraNova - Blowjob Freedom Fighter

Who is that masked man? Could it be.. NO! ITS THE LONE ROCKER!

I've been spending at least a hour out of every day reading Forum3000. Here are a couple really good threads I found this morning going thru the hall of fame.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 69, 42, sometimes the forum even hands out really good advice

Ugh.. Jon tired. Sleepy

Just a few links. Scott and I watched Young Frankenstein and talked some. By the way. Today Scott showed me a little preview of what he is working on with his site. I am quite impressed and I cannot wait for him to get it all back up..

There is a article over on SimEden about a possible The Sims TV show. If they do it like the commercials I think it would kick major ass. Just flesh it out from there. I also guess Drew Carey is doing a sims themed bit as well.

BurgerPipe. The fast food restuarant of the future.

Umm This is a site of women wrestling fans that like to.. Uhhh.. Fuck the wrestlers...

Todays BLECH OF THE DAY brought to you by any crazy fuck out there that would CHOP OFF THEIR LIMBS!
Your stupid. Fuck off. I Now have beutiful hooks. Someone set me up the bomb. Make your time

Ugh. I'm sorry. I really meant to not have a all your base quote. I suck..

Well. Its sleepy beddy time.. Big post in the morning..


Welp, i'm going to attemp a post. I'll try and tell all about my surgery today. I remember most of it since they didn't put me under.

To start off the day i wake up at 8am to find the electricity is out and there's a nice little blizzard outside. I was determined to get my surgery done today. The nurse was surprised i even showed. We arrived at the hospital at about 9:30 and got put on the bed with an iv and hooked up to the moniters almost immediately. They asked me about eleventy billion questions while i was laying there and she was entering the info into the computer. We were ALMOST freekin done when the damn power goes off and shuts down the freekin computer. The nurse cusses out the computer and we go through it all again with paper and pencil this time. All the way through this the lights were flicking all the time. Kinda freeky.

She shaved my arm and rubs some kinda sterolyzer all over it.. yellowish brown gunk(i'm guessing it was sterolyzer).

The anesthesiologist came in and looked me over for the block they were doing on me(i'll further explain later). Felt all over in my armpit for my main nerves i guess and told me i was gonna be an easy one, those were some of the most encouraging words of the day:).

He leaves and i lay there for a while longer.. i had to piss bad! I get freeked out cuz ny room was right across from the 2 op rooms and in one i hear a guy start like moaning loudly in pain.. not what you want to hear when you're 2 surgeries away.

A nurse finally checks in on me and i relieve myself and she informs me i've still got an hour an a half wait.. this is probly at 12, i was sposed to be in surgery at about 10:30! I ask if i can go watch tv in the small waiting room just outside where i'd been laying. I watch some daytona 200 superbike race for i don't know how long. The anesthesiests come and get me finally and stick me in several places under my armpit with this freeking huge needle. They do this all the way into my bone. Hurts like hell. This probly the most painful part of the op. After this i don't feel a thing. Truthfully you can't even tell you're arm is there. It feels exactly like its been amputated.

After a bit longer they take me in and i switch to the table. They get everything set up and i have a nice chat with the nurse and anesthesiologists and joke around a bit.. that "happy drug" they loaded me up with works wonders:). Then we argue over what music we're gonna listen to while they slice and dice me. Dr. Meyer wanted country, the doping guys(anesthesiologists) wanted led zepplin and ac/dc stuff, and the nurse, Kasey(not bad looking at all, not near as good as rach though;) ), and i wanted a little more modern stuff. We got our way of course.

During the op i never felt a thing and was wide awake.. just a little doped with the "happy drug". Every once in a while i could feel like a tendon or muscle being tugged on like higher up in my arm. That's something you don't get to experience everyday..hehe. Kinda cool, not near as cool as my arm feeling like its not even attached though. Through the whole thing i talked to the dope guys about all sorts of different stuff. One was just a student. Everyone there was really nice and pretty cool people. They made it actually kinda enjoyable for the most part. I was pretty relaxed the whole time believe it or not.

He finishes up and puts me in a cast/splint deal and they wheel me back to my little cubicle. The nurse asks is i want anything to drink(this is at 3 and i hadn't eaten or drunk anything since supper last night). I'm like HELL YES! A mountain dew would be great!.. and she actually brings me one. These people kick butt.

They keep me there for another half hour and then the nurse helps me get dressed(had a pair of shorts on under my gown the whole time, this wasn't kasey:( ).

We go shopping at the mall for a while and i'm feeling all happy and high and stuff then suddenly the numbness starts wearing off so we rush to wallyworld to pick up my painkillers, which i was desperate for. I also snag a big mac meal and mc d's, i'm famished. Oh yeah, i get more warp mints at hastings too. Then i go home. It hurts like hell now. I guess they made about a 2 inch insision on the top of my wrist and put the screw inbetween the 2 broken halves of the bone. It's spised to help gradually pull them together. Its a permanent jobber.

I go back friday for a checkup. They will remove the stitches and slap on a cast. Anyway, i feel pretty well at the moment considering it wasn'y real long ago that was sliced open. Arm hurts like hell but painkillers are a savior.

p.s. took me 2 hours 45 minutes to type this one handed with interruptions to chat here and there. i'm beat!
p.p.s. if you go to netrage you'll see this same post. i think i have arthritis in my right hand after typing this and i wasn't feeling up to typing something original for each site.

Prefered ways to refer to http://internetrage.net/- internetrage, netrage, or just rage :)

grr i hate technology today

hi, i know ive been absent from the posting deal for a while now but, my computer is having major problems and im majorly busy lately...ill probably be gone a while longer while im getting it fixed this weekend (with any luck anyways). but heres the best link ever, just to tide you over.

this is pretty...interestingly unexpected...dont say i didnt warn you.

New womens fad?

I personally don't think I would ever try this if I was a woman. Though I am sure most of my male readers would agree that it would be kinda nice to see some hotties practicing this. But.. then again the money would be kind of slimey..

Listen.. If you don't comply I am going to shoot you with a potatoe!

Check out this gallery of hot chicks with big cocks. HOT!!!

Get in the house martha. Looks like a poop storm is heading in...

This is pretty cool I love the grill that girl got me for christmas. And I would love one of these.. Grilling indoors would be sweet.

Hmm Maybe If I link this scott will think I did it too.. hehehe

Somehow. Deep in my soul.. I find it hard to fathom that there is a RAMEN SUMMIT.

Here is a link to googles usenet archive shit.

General Zod! The best german industrial group there is! BOW DOWN BEFORE ZOD!

Diesel Sweeties is a pretty good online comic. There are not a huge amount of then so it shouldn't take alot of time to go thru the archives. Its updated daily too! Click here to start from the beginning.

The new sony clie can play up to TWO HOURS OF VIDEO *jizz*

Engrish.com has updated quite a bit since I last posted it. So I am gonna plug again.

And to wrap it up I would like you all to see what one of the good guys over at anamal had to say about JonsNews:

"If you don't like the content on our site, at least you can rely on the side bar for a constant flow of good content. Oh wait a second! No you can't! Seems we are taking down or contemplating taking down a link every once in a while. At least we have good ol' Jon's News still providing great content"

And I would like to say a quick apology to InternetRage for putting a space in their name the other day. I just figured it was kinda like jonsnews.com Which I call JonsNews or jonsnews or Jons News or whatever. I say this mainly cause Mr. Bappe is from IR and we were talking about this some last night.
So word up. I'm heading out for work now.

Your amazing fact for the day !

It takes an esitmated 300 days for a pubic hair to grow 2 inches.

Everyone else is freaking posting, why not me ?


Please.. A moment of silence for a fallen friend.

Today is a very dark day for me.

Today my palm pilot feel to his doom. His name was Hank. Hank the Handspring. He has been my side constantly for the last allmost 3 months. The 25th would have been our third month anniversery. In that time Hank has been indispensible to me. He has been there to tell me when I have something to do, or when I need to pay bills.

Right now I feel completely crippled. I can't write checks, I can't remember my schedual. I am what you would refer to as screwed. I need to buy a replacement screen and Hank will go under the knife. But that costs money. For now I will put a pooh bandaid on hank and carry him with me so that he will know that he is in my thoughts..

Ok. As I wipe a tear from my eye and tip up my Jolt and pour some on the ground for my fallen homie I feel a twing of remorse and guilt. I should have been there for Hank. I could have saved him. If only I had knowen, I could have at least said goodbye.

Goodbye Hank. I'll see you at the crossroads..

On the upside. They are rereleasing the HeMan: Masters of the Universe Action figures!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH this is a 20 foot potatoe cannon. I am going to make one of these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet another sign that the world is coming to a end. "Sisqo and Bob Newhart to Star in Sitcom". I really loved the Newhart show. My dad and I used to watch it together all the time. And then there was that show that he played a comic artist in that was pretty good. But this.. this will be like STABBING MY EYES OUT WITH TINY LITTLE PLASTIC BARBIE FORKS AND THEN TAKING A MIXTURE OF SAND AND SALT AND MAKING LITTLE BALLS OUT OF IT AND THEN PUTTING THOSE LITTLE BALLS OF SAND AND SALT INTO WHERE MY EYES USED TO BE!

It would really suck to jump off a cliff and fall four hundred feet and survive just to land next to a badly rotted mushy corpse..

All your Mr. T are belong to us.

Real life bounty hunter stories. For when fake bounty hunter stories just won't do anymore.

UH. I am in a job with stress. I have to deal with my stress. I think I just found a new tool for dealing with that stress.

And to finish this post off. Here are the answers to all the questions you will probably never ask.

Check it out. Three new posts tonight. Lots for you to read. Something for all your tastes.
I would like to welcome Mr. Bappe as the newest poster for Jonsnews! Welcome. He will be bringing a little something new along with him to add to site. So yeah and stuff. Spread the word.

OI'm tired. Night.

A new face in the crowd... er.. poster on JonsNews

OMG, this is my first post on JonsNews! What the hell am I gonna say?? I'm so pumped to be posting on a this kickass site with a kickass guy like jon. My life is all the more splendid.. hehe. Shit though, this rules. I wasn't expecting anything as cool as this to happen. Thanks jon!!!

Anyways, I don't know how the hell i'm gonna be able to post as good as Jon. He kicks so much ass.. and all those links, I can't find that many damn links to post! I hope you don't mind my having a slightly different style than Jon. I'm gonna try to please your eye! Whether i succeed or not is yet to be seen. Well, other than saying how much ass this kicks to be posting here I can't think of a single thing to say. I'll probly be outa commission for a couple days but i'll try to get my butt on here and put in a word or two. Later!


AAhhh, well I was told that I needed to post on here, and that if I didn't it was going to get real ugly, and I like my limbs the way they are.

About a week ago or so I decided to go get my hair cut. I walk in, sign in, and its a half an hour wait. No problem. I walk down to the clothing store a few stores down. As soon as I walk in i'm greated, no, rather jumped on by one of the employees there...
"We have a sale right now, no no, thats not part of the sale. Everything over here.." and she makes a huge swooping motion with her hand.. ".. is on sale. If you buy a pair of these jeans you get one of these shirts half off." Hey, I'm all up on a good sale, and especially a good sale on good clothes. I then turn my back on the lady and continue browsing. I was then, not even a 2 minutes later, harassed by the same old lady. "Can I help you with anything, are you doing ok?" Being a polite person that I am i said yes and continued shopping. I found a decent pair of pants and decided to try them on. I walk into the dressing room and I catch a glimpse of something moving out of the corner of my eye. Its the old lady again. I hurry up and get into the dressing room and close the door. She came up to the door... "Is everything ok, finding everything alright...how are those jeans fitting".. And I could have swore she was down on her hands and knees getting ready to crawl under the dressing room door to help me get dressed until another customer came in and then I heard some russeling and a "Welcome, this part of the store is on sale.. "
I don't think I look like I'm THAT poor to have to be told that stuff is on sale like 5 times. And I can sertainly dress myself, I have been since elementary school.
Now, I would have been very VERY happy to have had some hottie follow me around the store asking if I needed help, and she wouldn't have to crawl into the dressing room with me because I would have been more than happy to let her in. So basically, what I'm saying is, hyperactive old woman do not belong in a clothing store gearded towards a younger crowd.


I had a good title for this. But I can't remember it..

Well I'm up. My head hurts.. Ugh. God I made some REALLY good chicken alfredo. It was yummy.

How could someone hate squirrels so much? I mean. These guys REALLY hate them.. Pure and unadulterated hate.

I truely believe that science has gone to far when it comes to torturing peeps.

HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!! GO TO INTERNET RAGE AND VOTE FOR ME FOR SITE OF THE WEEK. It would so make me so fucking happy if I got site of the week.

By the way. I just put a new poll up. Just a temporary one while I get it all set up..

Only in wisconsin my friends.. ONLY in wisconsin.. I would even go as far as to say that they probably worship these things as gods descended to the earth.

Jesus.com got updated. You can now get the Jesus credit card. Greatness.

Uhhhhhh Yeah. It kind of freaks me out that I know someone who would jizz at this page. I think I will email it to him.

Go read X-entertainments upcoming oscar picks!

Allright. Well thats it for now. More later on.

Your only limit is yourself

Welcome to zombocom.

This is not zombocom.

You can do anything at zombocom


I want ten of these.

This is the greatest auction on ebay EVER. Its fucking sooooooooooo awesome. Check out the greatness...

Heres a little something something for all of you with napster love, but napsters not returning it blocking your songs.. dammit.

Its good to know that just cash and cows can get someone knocked off...

I downloaded this and I thought it sucked.. But its a really sweet idea. Music from the human genome..

I would have to say that this is todays BLECH OF THE DAY

This dog is now my hero. Hes bad ass. Go get em tiger!

Guess the Dictator and/or Television Sit-Com Character

quick one before work


Squirrel fishing.

I'm a hello kitty fan. NOW GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY

Uhhh thats its for now.. more later..

First things first.

Well no shit first things first Jon.
How the fuck else would you do it jackass?

Anyway. If you run icq I would suggest going and learning how to remove the banner ads! Its not terribly hard and it gets rid of them for you...

Eskimo bob is one of the few links I have found so far today that is worth going to. So go to it.