Pak Chooie UNF!

First of all.. I know I sent a couple people copies of netcaptor that had all of my captor groups in it.. if you have one of them could you please let me know as I have lost alot of the sites I go to, to find stuff to post.. So if any of you guys still has the netcaptor zip file could you please let me know?

On with the post..

I think these are the next checks I am going to order!

I found this site right before the great crash and I have been waiting to post it.. Check out COWBLOG! Allmost better then that blog written by the dog..

If I have never posted it before CHECK OUT 3d PONG!!!!!!!!!! And if hi-tech isn't your way.. check out Pong, the text based game!

I personally don't wear a bra.. but if I did it would NOT be this one.. See side view here

Spam radio is the SHIT!!!!!!!!! Check it out..

THe Ibong, Better then the macquarium?

Check out fulltime killer, its like a flash version of Silent Scope.. Which I played at the arcade this last weekend for the first time.. very fun game..

George Carlin has updated his classic 7 words you can't say on tv.. Now its 2443

Hunker down buddy and learn the rules of sexual combat before its too late and you find yourself walking down the street at night challenged to a straddle match and unaware of the nuances of it..

I have a couple of pages here for you would be ninjas.. First learn how to fashion weapons out of common household items.. Then learn how to complete your ninja costume..

How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up?

This HAS to be the weirdest news I have read lately. Robert De Niro and the remaining members of Queen (cory you will love this) have "pledged" to create a "futuristic new musical packed with the supergroup's greatest hits".

WOah! Hey! Wait a Minute! Where did my porn go!?!?!?

Tales of mere existence is one of the most cynical, yet amusing and great and original things I have seen online for quite awhile be sure to check it out!

Go download some Mr. Mittens and crank it and piss some people off..

YAY!!!!!! Mr. Nice has no hands or arms.. but that doesn't stop him from dancing!!!!!! thats for damn sure!

Oh.. hey.. hows it going? I allmost forgot I gotta give you all a BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!

Holy shit this is fucking great.. check this shit out.. Scrotilla the Hun and The penisaurus

I would so jizz over this.. *DROOL*

FUCKING KUNG FU CHESS!!! I know you guys will love this.. its so incredibly fucking original and incredible.. GO PLAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jackie Chan. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!??!?!

YAY!!! Old crazy alblums!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH I would suck as a negiator. I just gave this fucking bum over a thousand bucks and he still cracked me with a bottle... See if you can beat any of these damn things.. grrrrrrrrrrr

What if black sabbath had actually formed back in the 14th century.. This is what!

Oh shit!!! The parlor is one of the funniest and most true to life short movies I have ever seen.. I didn't figure it out till the very end.. god that was awesome!

Ron Jeremy must be quite excited about the ET reissue!

Ever wonder what the guy in front of you in the drive thru was ordering? Me either.. but if you do then this page will help you figure it out...

MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm Spacefoodsticks!

This just nails down my theory that over two thirds of all people in wisconsin are morons...

Who wouldn't want to be driving Kitt around???

Could it be? Are we posed to see more boobies on basic cable?!?!?!

ARe you prepared for a nuclear holocaust? Know where the safe zones are in your state and if you have a strike zone near you...

Check out this page dedicated to some of the craziest comic books ever printed!

Well.. I hope that makes up for the lack of posts because of my broke ass computer.. ENJOY!!!


AH HA!!!!!!

I think I have found the root of my problem
My fan
has ceased to work
I bet. When I installed IE6 at some point during the install I had a hardware related crash.. and bada bing bada bang bada boom. Windows gets fucked..

I still need some receptacle for my files for a little while.. I will try to have everything in one neat folder and stuff.. In fact I am 90 % done with that right now..



One of my friends (Identity withheld for security reasons) sent me my old copy of windows me I was having him hold incase something happened to mine.. Luckily I have him keep a LEGAL archived version of everything I own in a large fireproof safe for just such an occasion..

Now here is part two of my problem
I need someplace or somewhere to backup my important stuff for. I'll dump all my mp3s and crap, but my favorites, a couple programs, my documents, my website archive. Just less then a gig on a reliable harddrive that I can stick this on for a day or two until I can reformat and get it all back from you..

I would need to be able to FTP or hotline, and it would have to be open either early in the morning or late at night for me.

If anyone could hook me up please either email me, which works rarely. But every now and again I can get into it, or get ahold of me on MSN messanger and leave me a message about when you could have something running and account info.. jonsnews69@hotmail.com is my msn screen name..

Thank you all for bearing with me and helping out..


Be afraid, be very afraid ...

Afraid of who ? Of rich white guys who run this country that dont know a damn thing how technology works.

Thats right Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-South Carolina) introduced the Consumer Broadband and Digital Television Promotion Act (CBDTPA), Which if you dont know what this is, you should. Go check out Wired for more details.

Walt Disney and the MPAA seem to be its biggest supporters, but if this law gets pass it could seriously hamper the Playstation 3, so maybe a heavyweight like Sony can help back the rest of the intelligent folks on this planet that are trying to stop this bill from becoming law.

The funny thing about this law is that it relies on someone to come up with an anti-piracy method that actually works. So since that is a nearly impossible task maybe it will help this bill to fail.

If this bill does pass, I am going to declare war on South Carolina ! Who's with me ? C'mon they werent with us back in the 1850's they wanted to ditch us just so they could own people to do their dirty work. Doesnt look like the IQ of South Carolina has increased that much since then.


I know I am just asking for trouble

Can someone send me the installer for IE6?
thru MSN preferably.. since that is about all that works on my system..
jonsnews69@hotmail.com is my msn screen name..


Well.. I tried getting a computer thru dell.. I get 10% off, but the bastards wouldn't approve me for payments..

My computer is getting worse.. So here is what I am going to do.. I'm sending out a plea for your donations.. Either money or old spare computer parts.. At minium I need a CD-R and some blank disks to backup my system as it is, and a copy of windows ME, because mine has been stolen..
Also any other parts would be apperciated.. perhaps a old harddrive you have sitting around or some ram or pretty much anything you have that would help me out.. Fuck, it would be great if I got enough to revamp my system.. And to help you out, there is the big computer expo in Ft Wayne this weekend so you can go get yourself some new shit and pass on the old shit.. Hehe

since I can't get email.. well.. at least VERY sporadically can't get email.. I will just post here how to send me shit..

You can either:
Use the amazon donation thing on the left hand side bar for money donations.. Since its hard to send computer parts over the internet, though I did convince a kid on IRC one time that you could download a bigger monitor
Or, Send money or computer parts and shit I need to
Jonathan W. Gilmour
email me for my address! jonsnews@vectorstar.net

So anyone that sends me anything will get major linkage all over the place once I get back up and running.. and if I get this mofo of a computer back up, that means the return of the links..

Thank you very much if you plan to send something.. even if its one or two bucks.. cause it will go towards getting my computer back up and getting back into the flow..


Helping out the browser impaired Jon

Lets see I found some links worth a look. =)

How about Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones !! Seems that Harry over at Aint it Cool News snuck in and saw the first full treatment of Episode 2 and he likes what he seen !

Do you chew Wrigley's gum ? Then help out this Canadian fellow with his dreams of taking a World Record !

Hmmm, Jon uses "Blech", Ninja Curtis uses "Splaa" ... I think I will use Flergrumph. So here is your Flergrumph of the Day !!!


"It's all about random acts of cheese." -Viva.

I am here to help out a friend in need of some postings. **Warning** I am not as good at doing this as the LinkMaster is (you can tell by previous posts) but I am going to wing it like KFC.

Have you ever wanted to know how your Lambretta stacked up with others? Did you ever want to compete in a 10mph race on one?? I know I have..

AAHHH, your mom IS a fat cow That is kind of scarey. I bet they will cross-bread lawyers with mountain goats so they can finally get their horns.

First of all, this website is pretty kick ass. Secondly, anything that comes from Japan should not surprise me anymore.

Hell yeah, I just knew it!! Woman are just sneaky little devils.

This one is for you Jon. I never knew Lego people could be so... eehh, fun to play with? Just stay away from the other Series... or check them out if you think you have the stomach to.. lol

Well, this is going to be my SPLAA OF THE DAY!!!. I can't use Blech, that is reserved for the Blog Gods. I'm just a novice *sigh*.

Hope you had fun walking down the yellow brick road of the internet with me... oh dude, you just stepped into a big pile of shi...

still nothing works

I'm using blog buddy to post like I did last time, and now I am down to ftp and blog buddy and trillian..
Explorer likes to crash alot.. Does anyone have a anti virus program and a ftp server of that could send it to me via MSN?
I hate computers


Oh yeah

Scott, cory, curtis.. I dunno if you guys have been posting lately, but if you haven't could you guys pretty pretty pretty please until I can run some kind of HTML based application...

ARGH and a update on my sitiation

IE 5.5 won't install that scott sent me
netscape won't work
outlook express won't work which upsets me because I can't say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my best friend cory
I can't even THINK about opening IE without it crashing
I haven't seen a webpage or email for about a week now..
Nutscrape crashes.
My "friend" from ny has stolen my latest copy of windows ME so I can't even attempt to repair my shit
and I wouldn't even be able to reformat because I have no way to back up any of my shit
I'm fucked
I'm considering getting a dell.. just because I can pay montly and I get 10 % off through my work..
Dood..your getting fucked

most importantly since this is the only way I can communicate it though. Happy Birthday buddy!!!!!!
you need to come visit sometime soon.

Happy Birthday to me and Happy St. Patty's Day to you !

So how old am I ? Well if you ask my body I am 93, if you ask my mind I am 14. If you ask me when I am sleepy I am likely to have forgotten. If you are carding me for alcohol or anything else for some reason I always say 21.

But I am actually (if my leap year figures are correct):

788,918,400 seconds
13,148,640 minutes
219,144 hours
9,131 days
1290 weeks
300 months
25 years
2.5 decades
1/4 of a century

Wow. I am now in my mid-twenties and I can honestly say that my life has ended up nothing like I thought it was going to back when I was a teenager. Has my life ended up bad ? Hell no. I have great friends and family whom I love and cherish, a great job which still can excite and challenge me and a schlong like a baseball bat !

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone ! Be safe, have fun, wear green !



My computer has shit.. IE doesn't work any more..
I need someone to email me and tell me that they can send me a copy of nutscrape or the executable for IE to be reinstalled with. I installed IE6 cause windows told me to and now I can't do anything.. I uninstalled it and IE5 is fucking broke..
otherwise I am pretty fucked


Joy riding on the information superhighway

I just watched the movie Joy Ride. Its quite good.. The commentary track with Steve Zahn is quite funny.. I watched ZooLander last night and it wasn't too bad.. I was gonna watch Heist today, but I am running out of time and wanted to post before work

I'm listening to Hotel Yorba, by the white stripes and its a cool song.. Next in the playlist is "CAn't put my finger on it" by 'ween' off of the chocolate and cheese alblum

Our first link is incredibly cool.. Its called Creatures In My head. and its fucking awesome. Like exploding dog with crazy looking creatures.. check it out

Then check out the b3ta Zoo challange to see some funny photoshopped creatures..

HI-HO!!! WHat ever it is I want to buy three of them!

How about some useless facts for your monday? How about some more?. Or you could check out this huge list of phobias and figure out a reason to call into work and just chill..

cruising around online thinking "Holy sweet baby mike I would fucking LOVE to be looking at pictures of older men who look like Kenny Rogers"? I just was.. Theres help though.. Or how about famous people who look better with the body of an animal?

This is the coolest magical digital camera EVER!!! I want it!!

I still badly want a rubber band machine gun.. I would so abuse it..

Do you have what it takes to win at SEX GAMES?!??!??!?!

Happy Ninja Magic Action Compatriot !!!!!!!!!!

Well.. time to go pick up girl and get ready for work.. You guys and gals enjoy the links.. or else!


link-age Fix-age

New study shows that some people are gifted with an ablity to make order out of chaos.. what about poor saps like me who can only seem to make chaos out of order?

Excuse me.. have you seen my toothbrush?

Jonsnews. Now with 20% more actually working links!


I just found this site. And it details EVERYTHING sexual, violant or profane in just about every movie ever made. At first I thought it was retarded that a parent would have to do this much research before letting their children see a boob or a gun fight, but then I just realized - Hey this works both ways ! Now I can find all the cool nude scenes in movies too ! Go check it out ! hehe

Man and this site goes into detail too ! Like under the "Imitative Behavior" section for Cruel Intentions, look what they list:

++ Sebastian ignores a parking officer who tells him he can't park his car where he did.
++ Cecile belches after drinking a Long Island Iced Tea.

Oh thank god if it wasnt for this site we might have kids growing up imitating this movie and parking wherever the hell they want and belching after drinking alcohol. Phew !


Getting my link on

Good ol' captain electro is allways there to give you some good advice on taking over the world..

Imagine hopping online and searching for your name and seeing your credit card and other personal info pop up... AHHHHHHH

why would someone pay allmost as much for a USED realdoll as a new one costs?

Voters reject public safety building that violated feng shui

Mike Meyers is to star in a live action cat in the hat? I didn't really care for the grinch.. I LOVE mike meyers.. but.. I really don't have alot of hope for this...

Excuse me.. have you seen my toothbrush?

Ginger or Maryann? Oh god the choices...

What do you do when the Al Qaeda have been taunting you all day? You wipe the smiles off their faces the good ol american way

Am I unwittingly creating little google bombs every time I post???

I just joined up with this service called BlogSnob. Its pretty much kinda like a webring but it rotates, its not static.. so click it. You will find it over to the left above my other webring that I am in. Its cooler though.. the more traffic you send.. the more you will recieve...
**edited by jon* I just noticed their terms of service and I don't think I will get to use this for long.. but I hope they let me stay on*

YAY! The KMart by me will not be closing!! HAHAHAHA Check the big list and see if you are safe... Not that I ever have money to shop or anything.. but...

AHHHHHHHH This news story that really shows the depth of human depravity is definatly todays BLECH OF THE DAY

Its good to know how easy it is to steal software from stores.. and its even better that sometimes they will even help out..

New study shows that some people are gifted with an ablity to make order out of chaos.. what about poor saps like me who can only seem to make chaos out of order?

Wait wait wait.. Maybe I meant THIS is the BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the luckiest tugboat EVER!!

ok.. well its work time for me.. laterz


Midnight, she's a howlin and stompin. Making love to the gators in the swamp'in

Just call me MR. PS2 please...

Check out the museum of hoaxes for a fun thrusday read.. A decent time waster. And sticking with the museum theme check out the Prostitute museum..

Oh god.. this is CLASSIC classic shit.. I know it will make some of you smile with delight.. Crank it to 11 fuckers..

I... I'm speechless.. I don't know how to wrap my feelings around words to describe this page.. its definatly todays BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Blah.. I thought I was going to be cool and fix the search page with that cool google search shit.. but instead I seem to have broken it.. so I am going to go work on that now and lay down some more.. I should be back to post in a bit..


Colon Cleaner!

Its just that folks.. nothing more..

ITs good to know there is love out there for everyone.. even peter pan.. oh yes. THAT peter pan... It still amazes me that HE won a webby..

Googlewhacking has become so popular that there are even windows apps that whack the google for you

ever wonder how to say dirty things in japanese? Me either.. but you can learn here..

OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo camel toesssss

For the ladies its the stone cold steve austin tampon!

Is limp bizket stealing the musical ideas from thousands of kids around the US?

The first ever fan page of the dell guy!

Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads, fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum. Yeah...

MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm fungus meat..thew new meat alternative..

Here are a ton of wacky cesus facts to brighten your day.

Fun with search engine keywords!

Ever wonder why dogs hump your legs?

I think if I was on a trip the road became covered in flaming broccoli I would take it as a sign from god and just turn the fuck around

OOOOOOOoooooooo read all about or newest and bestest bomb ever!

Useless fact of the day

ugh.. well.. I am still sick.. time for some more medicine and lay down and watch the one again..


Sweet God, am I bored!!!!!!

here, you can suffer through my boredom. this is quite possibly the stupidest domain name in the world.




A late night quickie

I am sick

I am sick and awake.. double blah

Look at this picture and see if you can see whats wrong with it.. its fucking great once you finally notice.. but its really hard to see.../

I have gotten two of the most disturbing search requests in the last day

pictures of mary kate and ashely naked I have to say that I am appaled that I am in that search at all..

and wisconsin girl fucking dildo E/N

HOLY SHIT I soooooooo want two of these mini remote control cars.. serious badass..

I think it goes without saying that this would be a badass lan party toy.. But only if it had a SPH...

I think the adult swim on cartoon network rocks ass. the aquateen hunger force is awesome, and I have been a long time fan of space ghost.. On which willy nelson said the fuck word last night..

What do you get when you combine a dijirdoo and a bass guitar together? I dunno either.. but I bet it would rock hard

I would have SO kicked all the other kids asses if I was still eligble to compete in this...

At first when they started talking about who was going to direct lord of the rings, and peter jackson was brought up, I never realised how many of his films I have seen. Bad taste and the frightners are two incredible movies..


Behold and Fear the Triangle!

Enlightenment is on the way. Just follow my way of the Triangle! Forget the cube, its old news.

I think scott will like this

I think I may be putting some stuff on ebay soon.. Maybe go sign up under jamies name since I own monkey loads of money under mine..

*post edited because I am a dumb monkey:Jon*

Inter-species friends ! We aint kiddin' mack !

LOL ! I couldnt resist. hehe


I am SO glad that I didnt watch the Grammy's !

Not only did the "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" soundtrack win Album of the Year (WTF ?), but apparently the Chief of the Grammys made another speech that made him look like a big ass.

So with that being said, Grammy Chief C. Michael Greene can pull my hefty cock out and suck on it. When will the fucking retards ever learn that the music business is a dinosaur and an asteroid the size of Oklahoma named the internet has just past Mars orbit and is on final approach with their summer house in the Hamptons ?

Also I think it is interesting to note that C Michael Greene works for the NON-PROFIT Grammies pulls down $2 million dollars a year doing it somehow. Mmmmmm

brian fellows

brian fellows

Brain fellows

brain fell-ows

brain fell-owls

brain fellatio

bran fellatio

bran fuckers

bran flakers

bak fackers

fack you man

Thank you google for bringint his young boys dreams to life.. I know know the secret of brian fellows the bran facker. I also have unlocked the time cube and I am now reassembling reality to adjust for a life without brian fellows. Don't be alarmed if I make a small mistake and break reality and you wake up with a hamburger in your head though...