Today I became totally fucking amazed.

I was searching thru all my referer logs so I could add more shit to the random search thingy. And I find this site.

So I think to myself. This site doesn't look too bad. Seems interesting. I will take a break from what I am doing and read thru and and see where I got linked and maybe link back.

Well I found it.

Check out the tuesday, january 23 entry.

What the fuck? There are a million more intelligent things to make fun of me then my weight. Fuck. Back in third fucking grade the kids had more intelligent insults then this cretin. I am apalled by this fucking morons complete and utter lack of something new/funny/witty to say. If this schlep had one fucking iota of brain power perhaps I would even consider emailing this wankoff. I just honestly believe that he would have trouble comprehending the use of the reply button.

I would like to take a couple minutes of my time though to deconstruct some of the utterly moronic things with his site:

1) that stupid fucking gg boy KFC ad with there stupid fucking titty flashing gg girls in the back seat (of course, this is where women belong).
This leads me to several conclusions. One: this guy is a fucking moron Two: this magook is definatly not a Breeder!
Breeder (noun) "a heterosexual."

2) see, i've come to the conclusion that blogger makes it far to easy to update your site... the more stupid fucking "oh, and we went to grandmas for christmas but it was really shit then we went to the mall but it was too busy so we went to jennies house instead jennie sucks cuase she's only got playstation one and i hope i get lots of presents for christmas damn no one loves me and i dont have a date to the school dance" blogs i read makes me want to hide under a boring old static rock.
I won't touch on the grammer or punctuation errors on this one (Mine isn't perfect either. However I do try to take the effort to at very least make the first fucking letter of each sentance a cap.). However. As I have stated before. I despise hypocrits. He is ranting about how he hates blogs like that. But I just got done reading 5 pages of how he can't fucking wait to get to earthcore. Whoopty shit. My life isn't that exciting either. Thats why this site is mostly links and shit, with little peeks into my life. Thats just the way I like it.

3) Site design. Check out his actual site. I don't know if he has actually had anyone else beside him look at his fucking site. BUT, if he has, they will probably notice that the NAVIGATION BAR DOESN'T HAVE A SCROLL BAR AND ITS FUCKING LONG. You have to use tab to get thru it. I know it's kind of nitpicky, but its just a major design no-no.

4)i'm sitting here all alone, wishing i was buying pants. why when i finally organise to go and do shit, everyone bails on me or is unfindable?
Can you blame them? They probably don't live up to your high expectations of fucking human perfectness anyways.
why is it so hot? i can do nothing in this heat. i am but a sick little boy with no friends in the world
HEY! I bet if you keep whineing about it you will get more friends. People love whiney ravefucks!

5) i really am a geek
No. Your not.

6) dfc membership is designated by the mystical dfc beads. those who wear the beads have rights and privileges that other non-members do not.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I think the last "cool people club" I remember was when I was in like fourth grade. Wheres the sign that says "No gurlz allowed"

7) Hes a raver. I think I have mentioned my hate of ravers on here before. And cliffs site speaks volumes.

For some additional laughs check out his hit counter. And his pictures of him and his raver friends. And don't forget my friends, Oh the fun you can have with a guestbook. And for some added pleasure you can have this Email the jerk.

And I had cory whip this up for me today:

sucka HO

So in conclusion. Settle down son. It will all be ok. Someday someone that you judge so quick is going to be raping your ass like nanjing and you'll be screaming your mommys name. It all comes back. Karma mannnnnnnnggggggggg. I'm fat. I'm comfortable with it. I would lose it if I could. I've struggled with it my whole life. But inspite of being overweight I have a very fulfilling life as far as I am concerned. I am getting married soon to a incredibly hot woman that loves me for who I am. I have a good job. I have great friends. So. If you have issues with me being fat. Shove off eh.

So onward with our normal post.

I think this game is WAY fucking better then bejeweled. Mostly because of Gary Colemans smiling face looking down on me.

Check out these demo movies from the GBA. This system is pretty high on my waiting for it to come out list.

I think this is the only encouraging news I have heard come from the scooby doo movie front.

Are you kids ready for the most disturbing/fucked up site I have ever found. If you feel that your soul is pure enough to see this.. Then click thru.

If this article is true. Then it will just go to show exactly how much WCW and metallica both suck.

Here is a little post stuporbowl lovin for you guys. And be sure to check out this site if there are any of this years commercials that you missed.

This is very sad news. I used to watch the Bozo the clown show alot as a kid before school. Cooky was one of my favotires on there. The fucking magician scared the shit out of me though.

This site is cool if you have a palm pilot and a big libido. I know I use my handspring to read Ebooks all the time. So I guess where having 40 or so books with me at all times seems cool, having 40 or so porn stories on your palm *snicker* may excite some of you.

I am in the process of checking out this game. I am under the name of Ass Mastah Jon if you want to look me up. And if you have yet to check this game out go do it! I am under jonsnews in this game. AND FUCKING GOD PLAY THIS GAME!! IT FUCKING ROCKS! Its just a quick fun java game. But still very cool.

I fucking love video game music. I can definatly see me spending some time at this site. And while you are at it. Go search napster for the mini bosses. THEY ROCK! Hardcore video game music. Fuck yeah. Just do it before napster goes pay (which will soon be followed by napster going under)

Check out these guys. They are kinda like a reverse Jerky boys. You may have seen them on Howard Stern. They fuck with people that call them.

I wish my car had balls.

I can honestly say that this game is even better then bejeweled. I say this mainly because as I am playing this I have Gary Colemans smilin face beaming down at me.

For this last link I am just going to quote the site I got the link from.
Yes, you have probably read Hanson fan-fic porn before. But with an opening sentence like "OoOoOohHhHhh God YES !!! Celeste screamed as she got an orgasm and Taylor cummed in her," you're in for a treat


I had a really good title to this post. But my dotcom ate it.

Really. I did. It was witty and would have made you all laugh and pee yourselves. But blogger shit on me while it was posting and this awesome title was lost..
Ah well.

You know. There was a time that Evil Knievel was the utter and total shit. I mean. I used to fucking play with his action figure. I don't even know how to feel about this..

I was in the middle of writing this post. And talking to scott and everything and I kinda went off on my site. I think I just fixed a few things that were really bugging me and added something really cool. First of all I pimped out the right link bar so it looks like the left one now. And second I added a "Random search thing to get here" thing. I just take those from the referer logs. Everytime you reload the page it will display a new one.
I added a couple links over on the left too.

One of the links I added was under the comics area. Its for zippy the pinhead. If you have never read zippy before (and even if you have) this is a great resource for it.

Oh man. People are pretty fucking dumb.

If you watched survivor the other night you will soooooo appreciate this.

I find this very disturbing.

Buy a Geek t-shirt!

I got a few more things on deck for the site I will be working on tommorow. I want to get a new non-ad voting thing over there. And also have another treat for you all. Stay tooned. I also think its a good time to go thru and fix all the subpages that are broken (like my fucking advanced search that has the skin from HALLOWEEN ON IT)

Tips for when you move to a new place.

1) The first trip over, take a source of music.
2) Also on the first trip take at least 1 roll of toilet paper.
3) Dont even think about staying there until your cable gets installed.
4) If any service personnel (cable guy, utility man, etc) and sees your computer, do NOT encourage a coversation about your system or if you are a hacker and under NO circumstances try to explain the whole "MP3" thing to them. Trust me, its just not worth it.

Guess thats all for the tips right now. God I love Amazon.com ... look what I found.

I have a great spot in the new apartment for a nice Spiderman poster too.


My scrubbing bubbles are going to come over and whup your ass.

Well. Since I have a webpage it is required that I say something about the stuporbowl.
There are only about four things that are good about it all:
1) the ads. Here they are for your viewing pleasure by quarter.
2) Survivor afterwards. Season one was one of the best viewing experiences I have ever had in my life. Season two is shaping up that way too. Thank god they got rid of the annoying bitch first. This is a really good news site for the show. And I got to watch it with my bestest fried cory so that made it even better.
3) The fact that CSI (Or whatever that forensic show is called) is going to be on after survivor every week!!!!!!
4) the XFL STARTS SOON. Its allmost time for some football I can care about. YAY!

I'm not going to say much about Uncle Billys downtime this last week. It happens to the best of them. But it kind of hurt their dot net ad angle they were going for. Here is a pretty good article about it.

ASSorted knews:

I played EQ for awhile. And I am a fan of making money. Money is pretty cool stuff. Its not what its all about. It doesn't birng you happiness.. But we all still strive for it. I say fuck it. If someone wants to spend 4 months of their lives making their character great. And then sell it to some schmuck then fucking go for it. Sony shouldn't be busting their balls..

Now HOW FUCKING COOL would a fucking Jonsnews Junkyard wars team be? Man. Maybe I will be able to enter my giant robot that smashes things on my command into battle bots! If I ever get it made. And while I am on junkyard wars I REALLY fucking enjoy that show. I got to watch the-nerds a couple weeks back.

I had found this site ALONNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago. They took it down for quite some time. It is still the sickest fucking thing on the internet.

Now this is some serious industrial music.

UMmmmmm This is pretty fucked up. Errr ruhhh excuse me.. your.. dancing.. with your CATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Toxic Avenger is so cult its mainstream. I fucking LOVE troma movies. They used to have a Troma/Softcore porn station on the satellite dish. I was fucking glued to that station. And when they weren't playing Troma or showing boobies it was fucking fucked up anime. I LOVED THAT CHANNEL. It was my first place I watched Akira. Check out this interview with the genius behind it all.

Since I haven't linked any Porn in awhile I guess its time to put one up here for all of you loyal fans. But its not just any porn. Its stolen Photo lab Pics. Pretty cool.. The story on the site tells about how it all came to be. w00t! Allmost as cool as Flashmountain!

Uhhh I guess this would explain the whole rise from the dead and stuff. But I am pretty sure I would remember blood sucking and such in the bible. I guess I could be wrong.

Gary coleman makes me smile.


I am moving tomorrow, can Ginger help ?

Well I guess tomorrow is the wrong statement, since it is now 3:44am on Sunday. Guess I should be heading to bed to prepare for all the heavy lifting and crap tomorrow. God I hate moving. I dont mind the new places, or the arranging stuff or unpacking. I hate the packing and carrying. Blah, well hopefully Dean Kamen's new secret invention Ginger can help me.

So BUY ME ONE NOW ! Yes that's right lads and lasses, Amazon is taking Pre-Orders on GINGER !!

Today's Quote comes from E-Online :

"They [legendary actors Cary Grant and Randolph Scott] denied a romantic relationship, of course. But that's not surprising, considering that back when Grant and Scott were living together, being gay was about as much of a career booster as being a Communist."

Could you imagine being a gay and a communist back then ?

There isnt a more endangered species on our planet than a black, jewish, flaming-gay, drag queen who wants a sex change operation to become a full woman so she can then marry a white chatholic lesbian to raise a family in Colorado. Buddy, I know you are out there and I know you are reading this site, because - hell JonsNews is the shit, everyone here at JonsNews is behind you 100% ! Fight the MAN !



Thru corys counsuling I have decided to drop the skins from the site. I spend too much time fucking with them and honestly. Do any of you guys even really use them?

I will change the design quite frequently. But I will be stripping the skins off for now. If you have a skin bookmarked or something they will continue to work. I will just be taking the menu off for now.

But I'm not going to take something away from the page and not add something in return. So besides the added time to post I am also working on a couple other really cool things. So hopefully I will be able to do that. It will help having something to do the next few days. I'll also be working on like moving shit around and little teeny redesigns around the site too. But the focus is content from now on. Ok. From after this post on. I promise..

I am moving sometime this next week. So if you don't see posts for a couple days from me thats what I will be doing. And I have to wait for my choadrunner too so I may not have internet for a couple days.

So uhh here are a couple links.

Check out sexy chicks wearing lettuce!

Its been linked everywhere else. But I need to link it too cause its fucked up

Umm OK. I don't really have that many right now. I have more links and stuff but I am really tired and having a really bad week. So maybe if I get feeling better tommorow after helping cory move I will post more.

Peace easy.



God I hope I get this apartment tommorow!


Oh boy more christmas stuff!!! I am sooo getting one of these shirts for girl.

And one of these for about half the people I know.

Jesus. I thought I had alot of free time.

Is it christmas time yet?

Lately I have been finding all sorts of really great stuff to buy all my friends for christmas. Oh boy I can't wait.. Too bad I don't have any video affacianados on my list..

couple more quicky links for you all

I sooooooooo want a GPS system. If only just for this!

I wonder if lucas was thinking about this. Christ. I wonder if the luke was thinking about this when he did it. And this is pretty fucked up.

This shit seems really cool.. I may have to pick some of it up for girl.

BAD brittney! BAD BAD BAD!

You know. I have a old treefort I should put on the market!

I wonder if this guy said "Whoops" at any point while this was happening.

Word to your mothers

Tommorow I have to go look at this new apartment that I think I am going to get for girl and I. I'm rather excited. Even though she won't be living there until the wedding in july (just 25 more weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) it will be our first place together. So even though I am not getting the FUCKING AWESOME house the I really wanted. Just the fact that this will be "our" house makes it perfect.

Its good to know that while doing a search for "dumb motherfucker" on google will give you this completely fitting result (check out the story about this on wired), however searching for "Dr. Pooper" or "wet boobies" on yahoo will bring you here. Joy!

Check out this new site. Keep a eye on it. It looks like it will be quite good.

I'm kinda looking forward to at very least renting this game. I am glad that nintendo is finally getting some balls. And umm I am going to go fix the skins and stuff now and update the archives.


The king is gone but not forgotten. This is the story of JonnyRotten

I think JonnyRotten has been my nickname since I was born. My uncle used to allways call me that and it stuck.
Not sure why I bring this up. But yeah.

Hmm lets see what I have for you all this morning.

OH GOD!!! yeah. I was cooking this morning. Making this shit called cottage pie. Oh god its very good. But it was baking and shit in the oven and I smelled some smoke... So I went into the kitchen and was like.. Hmmm oh look the grease and juice is just spilling over onto the burners. So I reached in to put a cookie tin under the thing and then WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHH all the shit on the bottom of the oven flamed up!!!
So I decided to whack the thing that was cooking spilling ever more grease on the fire.

It was fun..

My food allways seems to be lacking something though. This recipe is REALLY good though.

HAHAHAHHA oh man. This site ROCKS!
And this is a funny idea!

Well today I found yet another good thing to come out of wisconsin. Add this to my whopping list of "the onion and cheese". I also found a couple other good duct tape sites. And of course if you are going to get some duct tape clothes then you want a duct tape wallet.

Oh god they have done it once again. They have stolen another idea from my brain. Those mind reading bastards! Argh!
I think I will be adding this site to my link bar soon.

Well I have decided to see the movie Snatch. It actually is looking rather good.

YAY! yet another resource towards making my own giant robot that will smash things as I command it to.

I kind of figured that Microsofts crazy naming scheme was leading towards something.

Watch what you eat.. you never know if you are looking at an innocent bowl of soup or a deadly warrior in disguise, silently waiting for the opportunity to transform and attack! This is the secret world of the Lunchbot.

This game looks MEGA BADASS! I hope it comes out for the x-box...

I loooooooove evil dead. So I gots ta post this link.

I need to get a link banner designed. Hmmm maybe I will get see if my favorite cracker cory has any ideas.

Banners ROCK!

This site is quite fun!

Ok.. Well I think thats about it for now. I am going to wake cory up so we can go look at some apartments and shit..

OH FUCKING A I have forgotten how much I love this site. GO HERE NOW!

But Mistah Cah-taire

I would like to just say welcome back me. I missed myself. Now back to your regular unschedualed semi constant posting.

Before my trip I bought girl and I a cell phone. Its not quite as useful as this model. Allthough its not the model that I would have necessiarly chosen if money was not a issue.

Girl and I are also starting to gear up towards getting our own new place and all the "stuff" that is associated with that. Well I think I at least have our coffee pot picked out. I think maybe we could use a little Dr. Suess art too. That would be tight!

Oh god this site is fucked up HARD CORE

Well I just fell asleep typing this so i aaam going to sleepy beddy bear land now. night.

I've come back to the dark side because of the powers it promises me. I prefer the shortest path to great rewards. Thats why I have come back to join the sith. I once was a jedi for the light side. But the promises of the dark side have lured me back. I must say that I am VERY excited about the x-box. Even more so then I was for the PS2. But it seems that those pesky jedi have gotten ahold of our some of our design processes for the deathconsssoooooeeeeeeeeerrr I mean uhhh the x-box *wipes forehead* I said x-box. No I wasn't starting to say deathconsole. Why would I say that? Uhhh so anyways.

This thing is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I WANT ONE!!!



I'm back
Its like 4am right now. I will post later. I'm tired. My girl just left here. Tired. Sleepy



News from the set of Spider-Man The Movie !!!

Time to rejoice, the filming has begun. IGN has a great article up from one of the extra's on the set.

Also, popcorn.com has pictures from the set that someone snuck onto the set.


Banned Eidos Ad

Has Eidos gone too far in promoting its upcoming PlayStation console title, Fear Effect 2 ?
Apparently some magazines are refusing to run the advertisement !
Go and check out the ad for yourself.


Join the Army become a Robot !

Yes friends the Army's new campaign proclaiming you can be an Army of one might become more truthful within this decade.

i hate to say it, but...this blogger thing is kinda cool.

its nice to be able to just type and be done. NO-NO-NO!!!!

i will not turn to the power of the sith. you shall die lord jon! you will never turn me towards the darkside. me and my notepad shall beat you. mya-ha-ha.

oh, uh....

sorry about that. i was thinking of something else. anyway. here is a link that jon himself would post if he had the ability, i know. since i know just how much of a hardon he has for the new gameboy advance. and how much he likes shiney stuff.

so he should love this. screen shots of the first RPG for the gameboy advance.


ok kids.

like i said in a previous post, i'm not very good at finding many links. but i was just hanging out at e-bay, and found this:


and couldn't resist.

enjoy. thank you.

hello again. yes, this is mawd, and i'm still filling in for jon.

for all you that care, i am in such a freaking good mood. things are excellant at work, and i am (as the jeffersons would say), "movin' on up". any way, the main reason for this post, is becuase i made my last post on my site, but i forgot about it with all the family stuff that jon had going on. but i wanted to share this with the world.

Darth Jon

i hope jon enjoys this as much as i. thank you.

and oh yeah, don't forget to go to this great site.


uh, hi!

ok, so jon has asked me to make a few posts while he is away. and i have no idea what so ever how this "blogger" thing works. so, if this doesn't turn out quite the way i want, don't get angry. some of us, (namely, myself. hehe) still do there posts the hard way, with notepad, hehe.

sorry jon, just wanted to rub that one in. hehe.

well, what should i post about? hell, i don't know. i don't find near as many cool links as jon does, so don't expect much there.
and i have enough trouble coming up with stuff for my page.

so. thats it for now. i just wanted to make sure that i actually have the ability to post.

be sure to check out my page here. cya


I'm out of town for the next few days.
Family stuff.

I asked scott and I am going to ask cory to post and shit so keep coming back. Maybe stewie will post too..

I will be back sunday night probably. Doubt i will be ready to feel like posting again.. but i will try.. maybe monday..


Pimp of the year.

I just used that title because stewie and I kept saying it back and forth all day.

I have been reading this site. I don't know why I have been so obsessed. But I really think thats a awesome read.
I don't know if its well crafted fiction or real. But its awesome.

I love good humor.

God I love the music of Final fantasy!

I think i am sooooooo going to join this club!

I have some cool shit for you my friends

Scott and I were talking a couple weeks ago about how cool it was to go exploring old abandon places. Well Scott here are the links I was telling you about.
Infiltration.org is the first one that really got me interested in this. I mean I have done it myself most of my life but reading about it is really cool too. I definatly suggest the paris catacombs story.
Next up is dark passages. Another really good site with some equally good stories on it.
Urban explorers is pretty cool. LOTS of stories about inflitrating. Submitted by different people.
Forgotten Ny is more along the lines of exploring old buildings and stuff. Not much cave stuff on this site, but equally cool!
And Jinx is definatly the most crazy mo-fos out of the bunch. I mean they climbed the Brooklyn bridge for chrissakes!

I got thinking today. When Jamie and I get married in July (from here on in this will be refered to as the happiest day of my life) and we move into our new apartment we are going to have to pretty much furnish it from the ground up. I got thinking today I want to do alot of it thru stuff that we can salavage or make ourselves. I think that gives a house alot of personality and stuff. So what I am getting at if you are reading this and you have any old junk around the house that would be useful ( I am thinking of like candle holders made out of old hard drive platters. Stuff like that) let me know. I used to love my aunts house. It was allways all crafty and everything. She used like painted milk crates for end tables and shit. God it was so cool.


And since I titled this post the way I did, I guess I should reveal what My christmas present to all of my friends this next year will probably be.

Oh Look I'm Jon, I like to bitch!

Since this is a huge outlet for me to bitch to the world I would like to take a moment or two of your time to talk about how much total cock my computer smokes.

My computer smokes alot of cock.

I hate my computer

My computer does not kick a antelopes sweaty booty hole.

My computer BLOWS

My computer took about 10 minutes to open up a 1.2 meg .jpg today.

My computer takes longer to open photoshop then it does for me to reboot it.

I double click on photoshop. Go to the kitchen. Get a drink. Drink some of it. Come back. And its still loading fonts. ARgh.

Photoshop honestly takes about 6 minutes to open.

And god I wasn't thinking the other day and opened photoshop AND frontpage at the same time. Goodnight gracey. You can forget that noise.

Oh and something else I would like to talk about is something that I used to take GREAT pride in. I used to be pretty good at video games. I mean. I wasn't the best... but I could hold my own. I mean I fucking grew up with a paddle in my hand. This weekend Jamie beat me at about 15 consecutive games of Dr. Mario. She was also kicking ass in Super Mario 3. Awhile ago we went to Ft. Wayne and we went to puttputt. I thought I was going to go out and flex my mini-gulf badassness and impress my girl. SHE FUCKING WHOOPED ME. And then we went into the arcade and we were playing this VR tank game. Major ass-spankage. I mean.. I didn't even have a fucking chance. She smoked me. BAD.

She is hella good at video games. God that rocks. It was so fucking cool just sitting together on the couch for like 2 hours playing Super Mario three and getting spanked at Dr. Mario. I think every time she beat me she felt a little bad so I got extra kisses out of the deal..heheheh I would have to say I am going to be getting married to he perfect woman. She is beutiful. She is incredibly funny. And not only does she not have a problem with my love for video games. She will play them with me. She will probably beat me too.

I guess I am still pretty good at video games. I haven't lost it. Jamie is just better. And that fucking rocks. This second point was definatly not a bitch. It was more me bragging up the wonderfullness of my girl.

Now some links. (for some reason when I tried to type some it came out slong. And then I just removed the L and thought it was spelled correctly. My brain is fucked up)

It looks like cyberpunk is getting closer and closer. YAY!

This is fucked up.

Next christmas someone better hook me the fuck up with one of these or I will cry like a girl.

God this is going to be better then the aibo.

List of things I like:
Beef stew
Video games

I would like you all to notice the startling lack of "Work" or "My job" on there at the present.
I guess on that note its time for me to head into this place I call my job. Best mix some bleach and ammonia and sniff heartily before I head out.
I will try to post more in a bit. YAY 12 hour day!


hey kiddies

Blargh i'm sick.
I'm sweating way more then usual and i feel like i may vomit.

I just want to say that at this moment I hate work more then any combination or words that I could think of in my entire life could describe.

I hate it I hate it I fucking hate it.

There are alot of things at work I am displeased with. I especially hate people being hyprotical. I cannot fucking stand that. I don't want to be fucking yelled at for some minutia that you cannot even take the time to do yourself. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Right Now i fucking want to scream and completely destroy something. But I have been winning over my anger for quite some time and I am not going to lose it now. This bullshit isn't worth getting pissed over. This job isn't worth my getting upset at.

If it wasn't a couple people helping to keep me sane right now (read Jamie and Scott. Thanks for the ambigously gay band idea scott.) I would be beyond crazy at this point

Scott. You have been such a good friend to me lately. I appreciate it. It means alot to have someone that i can bitch to and know its not going to effect anything at work. If any of you read my site and don't read scott's site then you are very much losing out. I would honestly say that even though he does't update as much as would make me extremely happy his site is far far better then mine. I fucking love reading his posts. They make me happy.

It helps to have the greatest and most beutiful girlfriend in the world. It helps alot. I just want to say that I love you jamie so much more then I can ever tell you. Thank you for being there for me... I love you my girl.



Mommy can I have my very own Jesus action figure?
This site is coooool so go here

I quite enjoy the dot matrix.

UHhh I wanted to start redoing the link bars to look how I wanted to and now they look pretty much retarded in all the other skins. So I will work on fixing that whenever. But yeah....

Yo Jiggas, Stewie in da house. Flat out, no Ebonics this post, I'm gonna tell you something that flat out pisses me off.

Hmmm....lets say one night, a few hours after work, when its like oh say maybe 2-3 in the morning, and your sittin at your computer, and you think to yourself, damn I'm fuckin hungry. Well, when you get up out of your chair, head out towards the kitchen or whatever, and what is the first thing you normally look for? Well, I don't know about you, but I like Potato Chips or maybe some Doritos. GOD they are delicious. Well, the best thing is, if you got fucking chip dip, PREPARE TO CREAM!@#$ God I think Nacho Cheese Doritos and Big Bear Plus's Chip dip are good. Well, now, on to the thing that pisses me off. When you get a fucking bag of chips with nothing but crumbs, after you get a full bowl of chip dip. And what really sucks, is thats all you fucking got left, so you try to eat the crumbs with the chip dip, and that don't ever fuckin work, you end up getting like fucking some chip dip on your fingers, well that sucks, cuz the dips sticks to the cheese of the other Doritos, and you got a mess, so you gotta lick your motha fucking finger. *BUZZ* Wrong Mutha Fuckin Answer!!@#$ Now you licked your finger, and your finger is wet...well...if im gonna wipe on clothes, my finger is heading for the pants leg, well, and what really sucks, is fucking getting some cheese fuckin smeared on your pants..

Moral of the story, crumbs and chip dip, don't mix...

Pimps Up...Hoes Down...



Things that make me smile.

There are some sites that REALLY rock ass. I mean REALLY REALLY rock ass. I think I am going to be redoing some of the side bar tonight so be sure to keep clicking on them because they are all sites that I really like and I think that they all deserve to be looked at often.

One really cool and funny online comic is Hotendotey. Its definatly off the wall and crazy. Very funny though.

Sinfest is very cool too. Kinda calvin and hobbesish if Calvin was a little more grown-up and pimpish. Calvin and hobbes and The far side are still my all time favorite comics. I think I would also include Redmeat in that list. Yeah. Redmeat also is one of my favorite comics.

If you work in the IT industry you will understand Angst technology and it will make you smile.

And the most fucked up comic in the world is ThinHline. Definatly a worthwhile read.

Now three reasons isn't stupendous.. but it does show promise. So keep a eye on it too.

I swear I will give cash to anyone that can make heads or tails of this comic. It makes my head hurt trying to understand it. Though while discussing it with scott tonight he did utter the line "cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock" so I guess that makes up for it.

I don't know if you guys have been to superbad before. But it makes me feel happy. Even though I know i can click for like a hour and not get to anything.

And the onion is the only good thing to have EVER come out of wisconsin. Well maybe that and cheese.

I've kind of been keeping this site as my own little secret. I fucking think its awesome. Where else can you buy someone ones train of thought for the low low low price of a gravey boat! This site is kind of the same way. I think I linked it once. But I check it out all the time.

Monkeys make me happy too. I used to allways want to own a monkey ranch. Like the nations biggest monkey ranch. And i wanted to hire lots of midgets to be the monkey-hands. And those midgets would ride fainting goats. I think it would be the greatest thing in the world. (download this movie now!) And I must say I have discussed this urge to raise monkeys with jamie and she was oddly not disturbed by it. So thats a really good sign.

Now I love sock-monkeys too. One day I hope to own one. But this is just wrong.

Just a couple more links before bed time my friends.
Mad props to cap'n crunch. He fucking deserves it!

Fuck yeah FUCK YEAH fucking A yeah! Right on! I want to hug these people!

I got much love for the error 404s. I want to make my own custom 404 page soon.

This is very very very funny!

I love little wastes of time on the net. Addictive games rule.

Its been a long time my friends. But this certainly makes up for it.


Well thats it for now. I'll do the sidebars tommorow morning. But thats it for now.

Yo Jiggas, Stewie in da house. Today, I am gonna teach you how da correctly use da word, "Yo". Now, dis may be a lil difficult for you haters out there, but you can basically replace "Dude" wit "Yo". Examples are as follows...

Sup Yo? Later Yo.
Hey Yo, Whacha Doin Dis Weekend?

Well, I'm hopin you dumb fucks catch on, and if you bitchs can't use it right, I'm gonna havta BUSTA CAP IN YOUR ASS!@#$

Pimps Up...Hoes Down...


Love turns to hate. And its all Microsofts fault.

I had this whole fucking long post about things that I loved and that made me happy. Then IE crashed. God dammit all.
I'll rewrite it in the morning..

Hey kids. Its time to laugh at people

I want to start out by posting the homepage of what must be the loneliest guy EVER. I mean. Come on. Aquaman?? SISSY!!! If its one thing that drives the chics away its aquaman. If its one thing chicks dig is MAD PHP SKILLS!

And get a load of this guy. He lives in a fucking plane..... Wait.. Oh shit. Thats actually rather cool. Strike that.

Ok. Now lets laugh at drew barrymore for a second. I know this is terrible old news. But I just stumbled upon this link in one of my folders and laughed at her and wanted to share this laughter with you all. Now if you are all done laughing at her go check out some allmost naked pictures of her.

Those kooky people from canadia. They think they are going to take over the world. Go laugh at them!

There are alot more people to laugh at in this world. But I am out of hate for them. There must be lurve. Oh yes there must be lurveeeeeeeeeee.


Fucking A its finally happening

The redesign is done. I fucking like it.
I got my *now let me make sure I am using this term right* "Pimp jigga" Stewie in the "HIZZOUSE" (I think thats how you say it) And I just want to say HOOODIE HOO to my dawg.

He is going to teach us all to be cool!

So the design is done and the big suprise is done too. The JONSNEWS STORE. The design on its not perfect, but you can see the shit and buy the shit so it all works decently well. If you like the shirts like the rest of the site spread the word. I will be making new designs all the time so keep checking back. Ok well I am heading back into my hole to work on rounding up my links.

Big post coming my jiggas and jigglets.

Yo Jiggas, Stewie in da house. I have been chosen to teach you Pimpz out der ta speak Ebonics. Even tho you guys are FAR away from bein a Tru Nigga like me, one day we will all be tight, flippin tricks and pimpin hoes...

Pimps Up...Hoes Down...



After a pretty long night last night and a even longer day today the new layout and everything is done. I like it. Its got bits and pieces of stuff that I just thought were cool. If you don't like it feel free to use any of the other flavors of jonsnews to see the same exact content (selectable over on the left.) Infact if you have a favorite just bookmark that exact page. The only drawback is that I won't be updateing the single sidebar anymore as I have switched over to the double sidebars in hopes of breaking up all the crap that was getting shoved into just one. The store is not quite done yet. But should be up very soon. So keep checking in. A actual post with content will follow this one.

*edited by Jon* I'm holding this and all other posting until I get the design and the store up. So if you are reading this before seeing the new design i fucked up somewhere

Still working on the design. its going to be a pretty big change I think.. If things get broken just keep checking back.

I told scott I would beat him to the post


Congrats to scott. Today be took another step towards manhood and became a senior technician at our company. Seriously though. This is very cool Congrads scott (i know I spelled it wrong.)

I am working on some shit for the site. I just got two words for you all. Jonsnews Store.

Post to come later.

Again. Congratulations scott my friend. =-)


wow I really hate work.

Today has been ass. I am so going home and having a nice glass of wine and
relaxing with some TV...
I don't know... blah

Today has worn me out. Tommorow is going to be worse. This week is hell

I think before the end of the night I may try this "beer" stuff that I
hear so much about.

God my job today makes me want to climb a water tower and pick people off
with a high powered rifle


die die die

death to the W. place!

Well I meant to post that last night. But being the super-hardass that I am I had two beverages and then scott left and I fell asleep. God I fucking slept really well. I so needed to unwind after yesterday..
And now I am saddling up for another 12 hour day today. Ugh.
I also love how now that I am actually 21 and I have ID and stuff they don't seem to check for it.



Thats what I just did all over my drive way. It was VERY gross.

I am tired and my tummy hurts so this is going to be a short post tonight. I am going to try to redo the mainpage skin tommorow. I have a 12 hour day at work so I'm not going to promise. But I WILL promise a few hella posts tommorow.

Jamie and I did wedding stuff this weekend. We couldn't pick out a color for our wedding so we are doing a rainbow wedding. Not anything like the rainbow ranch though. (Scott do you still have that link for the rainbow ranch picture I sent you the other day??)

In order to understand the new title check out the ref logs.

I just found this site. Haven't really had time to pick over and see if its great. But its a link for now. I am going to go to bed before I get sick again. I just got done reading some harry potter on my visor handheld in the shitter. So my day is complete.

Oh wait. First
I have christmas presents for you.

So you can all unwrap your presents one at a time like good little children. (I've been waiting forever for that last site to come back up so I could post it.)



I promised a update today so i am going to hook you all up. The script I want to run won't work on my server. The scipt that I do use is going thru upgrades.

Check this out. Better then am I hot or not.

Now I have a beef with creationist. Check out this.

I am pretty sure that I have discussed my complete and total loathing of the demon known as the "BoogieBass" here before. I fucking hate it. Well here is a use for it. Stuff thats hackable is fucking cool Especially the hacked furby.

The onion is the ONLY good thing to ever come out of wisconsin in my opinion. Ugh.

I'm probably the only one suprised that these losers met at a iron maiden concert...

Since i'm "From canadia" and I "remember the 80's" this is the ultimate site for me.

My friends I think its time for you to meet some of my heros.

This chick is completely screwed.

I just wanna shout out Hootie Hooo to all my dogs.

I didn't think I could possibly hate goths more. Maybe if a goth and a raver got married. Blech.

I don't really see how this is geeky. But there are some funny ones there.

Is your clock set right?

God I would love one of these!

Oh fucking yay! This just makes me want to vomit.

Ok well thats it for now.. my first real update in some time. Peace easy my friends. I will be back after this weekend. I have wedding planning to do with my darling fiancee

It hurts when I pee
how are you?
I'm good.
Blogger is down. So i am writing this by hand thru telnet and its cold and i feel cranky
I hate having to typr fucking br at the end of every fuicaf;ldkajsdfklj line
So this is it for right now. Look at me. I'm Jon. i'm a lazy slut
Fuck youuuuuuu
I cooked stew last night.
I bet you are all amazed. I fucking love to cook.
hey here are some links:

this is weird
Check out the latest news about the election process NEAT!
pez rocks
Ever wonder how to get this stuck to that? Me either. but if you do here is a site for you
Look at me. I'm Ed brimly Jr. I'm a crazy inventing guy. Give me some candy
Well thats it for right now. I have to get to work. I'm sorry i'm such a loser that I couldn't make all of those links. but cutting and pasting will put hair on your chest. I promise

*update by Jon* Oh look at me. I'm billy badass. I can make links. Blogger works better now. I am happy. big post tommorow if its slow at work..

Oh yeah
i fucking hate wisconsin people. Fucking hate them fucking hate them fucking hate them. And i hate fucking trains too.


wow I hate work.

I just relized this. Right now its super busy and I hate that. Its too busy to breathe. Blech