10.31.2000

the deal

Ok
i fucked everything up.. Or something got fucked up somewhere.
The site is back on the old server until i can get shit straightened out.
Does anyone know of a good free to cheap server with no popup or small banners with FTP access??
blah
Ok well thats whats what for right now, until I can figure out what the hell is going on with everything.
I'm sorry.. stay tuned for news as it developes..

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH work dammit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want you all to know that saying these magic words seems to fix any problem you have. I typed this and thru PFM it all worked..
Ok I am trying to post it in another directory. Does this change anything?

yay!

Well I have to say that this is my first post ever!!! How exciting is that? I am a tired person right now...but that's ok. Shock Tarts are good for your tummy. I hope everyone had a happy holloween!! Well I think I can't type very well right now so i'm gonna end my first post ever! BYEEEEEEEEE

Oh fuck
something is messed up.. seems i lost my index.html
does this fix it?
Yes Jon it does.
Oh god. Seems I am talking to myself.
I am working on some tight design stuff!!! *MAY* be done before bedtime. I am listening to poes new cd. Its fucking tight.

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE!!!!!!!!!

I hope you are all enjoying this next to best holiday!!
Here are some links to put the boo into your halloween.

The first and foremost thing to do is know how to carve a kick ass pumpkin. I remember carving them with my dad and I still smile when I see my pictures of me and him in my little batman costume.. There are some really really great pages to learn how to crave a kick ass jack-o-lantern! And since its my generations motto "If you can't do it in real life do it online"

Step two is to set up a fucking awesome haunted house for the kiddies to enjoy. You have to make it really cool and really scarey. Cause thats what its all about.

And the most important part is to have a fucking kick ass costume that rocks socks!!! And hey be cheap. Make your own!! Its cooler that way too!! I bragged to everyone that my mom had the skills to make my getup! My costume this year only cost me about 20 bucks in fir and a mask. One year I wore a pumpkin on my head. But hey if you got the cash and don't want to invest the time there are tons of really cool places you can buy boss getups! I am wearing my old standby monkey suit this year by the way, because I was really lame and waited too long to decide to do it. I am really happy I did.. I can honestly say that I have dressed up every year of my existance. So far tonight the cutest kids to come to my house were a little brother and sister the girl was dressed up in a super cute tigger outfit, and the boy was in a curious george get up.. very very cool

Holy Jeeze

Well the URL has updated. It was like ten minutes after I changed all the shit. So unless something happens there will be no more posts to the old jonsnews.blogspot.com SO uhh you'll have to wait for the big posts and stuff now..

Hello?

Well if you can see this then everything is a success. There are going to be some broken links all over the place so please email mewhenever you find something that is brokie here!!!

BIG SITE UPDATE!!

Throughout the day I am going to be working on switching the page over to a new server. The banner on the top is a little suckier. But I will have full ftp access to it and alot of stuff that I have been looking for so that I can really work on making the page better for you guys. So this will be the last post you see until the dns for www.jonsnews.com changes. When it does change there will be a couple posts waiting for you hopefully. Cool.

10.30.2000

Come on and dig me cause I'm the fly pigmy.

Yowza. I added a search engine to seach the archives and stuff. I also added a link on the left bar that brings up a totally random webpage. Its pretty cool.
Umm Probably one more post tonight I am feeling like shit.

Poop on a stick

I want a good random sentance generator. Do any of you know of one that just spits out random non-super repetative funny sentances? I did however do a little searchy serach of my own and dug up a couple cool random sites. Check out the radom weird rumor generator. If you ever have any conversational problems then then random topic generator is for you.Is your business floundering for a strong mission statement? Or maybe your business is doing well and you are just looking to relieve some stress at the old work place. If you know a goth then this site may be a helping hand to you in your next conversation with said goth. And how much would you wager that most goth music makers get their lyrics from here? Here is a site that will make you a entire randomly generated story. I know there is a actually book that was supposedly randomly generated by a computer but I can't remember its name. If I had a band I would call it the intelligence buckets, or "Mike tyson and the nazi dumplings". I would also have this site write me random lyrics about poop and carrot juice. I think whenever someone has a birthday I am going to make their cards from this site. I wish when I went to college my compsci class had been as cool as this one is. I would have loved to write a program like this. This site is cool because it generates a ton of random words, but not in sentence format. Now if you want to talk supercool check out one of random webpage pages. Yahoo has its own random page site too. Try it! Zdnet has one too, but its for strange links. Its cool. This site has random stuff broken up into catagories. It has a Role playing catagory so its cool.

If only you all knew the truth about halloween you would realise that you are going to HELL!!!!!
This site is...lame. And it just crashed my browser. How nice.

There are a number of online popularity contests. But none are quite the same as this one. Though how could anyone ever be as fresh as these guys?

I just saw this page linked off of scotts site. It is so great. If i was getting many hits that link would send lots of hits over to his site. But I guess uhh scott, theres a link to your site so you can click it and go to your site then click the link to my site from your site and come back here and repeat the process.

Frantic Fran is the shit!

Holy ass I'm tired.

I went to bed at about 2am and work up about half a hour ago at 930 and I am tired as ass. Man I keep dozing off here in my chair sorting thru urls and I have to leave for work in about a half hour. Man I feel ready. Perhaps I will go pick up a cappuchino before work.

I honestly think that the DeLorean was one of the greatest cars ever. I loved the flip open doors. But the man that was behind them is just weird. I certainly don't want one that badly.

I know I am pretty much the only person in the world, but I really like the movie the avengers. And it had a Zorb in it so that scores extra points. And if you have ever seen it you CANNOT deny the coolness of the origianal tv show.

Shiney UserInterfaces make me happy. This site has a pretty fun one. Somewhere I have a bookmark for a commandline driven site that is uber-cool too. Well I can't find it right now. If anyone knows of one of the sites please let me know.

Go check out this site. Its pretty cooo-el. Weird though. But cool.

I have pretty high hopes for this show. I like Paul Reubens and I think he has the potential to be good again. I don't think he should go beat it in a theater again though. Get a VCR buddy....

Well its work time. More posts to come.

POSTage due on delivery

AHhhh I had a fucking terrific weekend off of work. I got to spend it with the girl of my dreams. I had a wonderful time.
I have a ton of links to post. I am going to post as much as I can. The hits here have really taken a shit lately. I had a whopping one hit saturday. And about one today. But as long as at least one or two people are coming here and actually enjoying what I do then its worth it.

Lately I've been sucking at reading the books that I want to. I REALLY really really want to read one of the Harry Potter books. They are so cool.

This has to be one of the coolest ideas I have seen online in quite some time. Just something to play with.

This is a pretty cool mens mag. They are even cooler because they are giving away WWF tickets.

Good cookbooks are hard to fine. Here is one that shows you how to cook like a man.

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo loved survivor. This weirdo supposedly found the s2 set.

Ok. More post tommorow. I am quite tired.

10.27.2000

If you were a hotdog and you were starving would you eat yourself? Well wouldja?

This site is FAR above simply deserving to be the BLECH OF THE DAY. Its fucking horrible.

Fuck me some more. I just got home and was going to do my post and I was going to get my folder of urls to post from my computer at work. Lo and behold. Something is broken on that machine and I can't get to my urls. No post tonight. I'm sorry =-(
To make up for it though I will tell a story. Oh man what story did I say I was going to tell the other day?
OH YEAH!!!!!!!! The shaving cream story.

I used to live in the apartment complex across the street from the place I work and I was getting ready to move out of there into the place I live in now. I had most of my crap moved out and just my essentials that I needed (Shower stuff, a few clothes, my playstation, and my shaving stuff). Well it was the very last day and I was in there saying goodbye to my first real place of my own and boxing up the last of my crap. Well I was cleaning out the bathroom and I hate the plug out of the sink. At this point I came up with the genius idea of seeing if I could fill the drainhole full of shaving cream. I don't know why I thought even for a second this would be cool, but it was. So I get the drainhole filled up and then I said to myself "Self... You know what the only thing that could be cooler then filling the hole in my sink with shaving cream? Filling the bottom of my sink with it!!!!!!" Oh god. At this point I was thinking how jaw droppingly cool this was. Needless to say I continued to fill the sink with shaving cream. I don't know for the love of god why I was doing it, or why I thought it was so cool. But I was on my second can of cream. And to make it EVEN cooler is the fact that it was that gillete gel cream. Oh man this was blowing my mind. I finally got the entire sink full and all fluffed up and my arms were pretty well covered with shaving cream. It was all over the wall where my sink was and I was building stuff out of it by this point. Well all good things must come to a end.
As my hands were barried in this stupendous stuff my apartment door flew open and I heard "JON!! You ready to move the rest of your stuff?". I slammed the bathroom door shut.
"ummm allmost." I replied. "Just uhhh finishing up a few things" Please realise at this point I hate a heaping pile of shaving cream in my bathroom sink. I turned on the water and started trying to get it all down the drain. This wasn't going to well. Mainly because my original plan was to fill the drain with it.
"Jon! You ok?" was being yelled. "Uhhh NOTHING" was my *convincing* response. So it ended up with them finding out about my brilliant plan and my being humiliated as everyone I knew found out about it. It was honestly one of my best ideas ever.


So I'll post some sunday. My girl is down here tommorow early in the morning and spending saturday night and then heading home sunday. So I think I'll be a bit busy. But Sunday I should be able to get my folders from work and write up the post.

For the love of mike.

Hi.
Its 6am right now. I just got completly done and happy with my computer. I am posting a screen shot. I think it is quite cool and shiney and cute.
I didn't post many links but you know what that means? A really big links friday. When I get up in a couple hours I'll post and post and post.
Oh god. Work in 8 hours. Thats way under my 23 hour a day sleep quota.
Oh yeah. Cory made a really sweet AOE2 map and we played that for about 3 hours too.
And incase you thougth I forgot here is yesterdays blech of the day! (You may need to read that site a bit to get the full creepyness of it.) Ohhhhhhh yeah the new no doubt video just got over. I so love that song.

Completed at 1:15 by Jon - It seems I fell asleep taking my screenshots and finishing this post. I don't remember actually going to bed but I woke up there. So uhh heres the post.

10.26.2000

I bet the great pumpkin has great pumpkin balls!

Hey Check out my Halloween work desktop that I polished up today. I am going to tweak up my home computer when I get home tonight as well. This site is definatly your one stop shop for tweaking out windows and making it look pretty.

New message board.

After the huge amount of votes cast on the poll as to which message board all of you wanted me to use (All one of them. Thanks Scott!!!) I guess I am going to switch over to the new message board. I'll be doing that today so the old one will be going bye bye.

Updated By Jon - The change has been made. If you see any links to the old message board please let me know.

Baiting

I find icq and AOL pranks really funny. The fact that you can lull someone into just being their sick sad selves and then destroy then and exploit their weaknesses is very funny to me. Baiting.org is the granddaddy of the IM prank. Very very very funny stuff. Something aweful has alot of content and most of it is really great. Check out their IM pranks. This site has some pretty good ones too, beware pop-up banners ensue. Here is one other pretty good site. Baiting is cool

Voting

I want to vote. I do. But like most americans right now I really dislike both canidates. I hate liberman and what he stands for. And Al Gore is a dookie. It seems like Bush isn't the only one that had his brain destroyed by drugs. I hope Ficus runs in the next presidential election!

And this is what we get

10.25.2000

I can't believe I haven't linked this yet!

I have been reading Mister Pants forever!!! I am so dumb not linking him!!!
Poop on me!

Ultra cool

I grew up reading comics. I learned to read from comics. I learned alot of my vocabulary from comics. I got mother fucking CHILLS reading this. It is so fucking great.
And Sluggy Freelance is really good too. And I still love redmeat.

Please please please say it's not true.

It appears as though some of the biggest bundles of pure entertaing power in hollywood are going to be featured on a alblum. Now when I say featured mind you that I mean they are going to be FUCKING SINGING!
Now the best part is some of the people (Or ass-heads as I like to call them) that will be on the cd. Brad Pitt will be making his singing debut, and Jeff Goldblum who sings a "bebop/big bad animal motif tune" which begins with a 30-second beatnik rap. You can also hear Keanu Reeves and Johnny Depp.

Instead of spending the 15+ dollars on this cd I am going to use 3 of my dollars to purchase a pair of sharp shiney scissors to jab my eardrums out with. I will then take the other 12 dollars and go eat paste. Here is the article.

God battle bots fucking RULES!!!!!!!
I am watching it right now and its just awesome!!! They are hitting the superheavy weight division right now. ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD Ronin fucking crushed Ginsu!!!!!!!!!
Oh man that was fucking awesome!!

COOL!!

Man other sites linking my site makes me happy. This site had this to say about what I said (or something like that)

"I was looking over things and found this and they said this -"Diary of girls is a cool E/N site" about us so I think they have a cool site ;p=" DOG rocks!!!!!!!

I am also linked off of good man Bill Bniblet's site over here.

Its the things like this that make me happy.

Mr. Winkle

Oh god. I was going thru all my links and stuff and wound up on Comedyworld and I started watching the Beth Lapides experience and I was about to turn it off and who should come onto the show? FUCKING MR. WINKLE! Oh god. They are talking about the healing powers of mr. winkle.
Oh god.
Both sites should get linked becuase of the sheer mix of joy and horror then have imbibed me with this morning.
Apperantly Mr.Winkles website has had over 1.4 MILLION HITS THIS OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally!!!

After about 4 hours of work the new layout is done! Its 5 am right now and I am done tweaking it. Cory made another banner for the top go post in all the message boards about which banner you like best and then vote on which of the three message boards you like best. You guys have a big impact on the site so go flex that decision making muscle.
Heres the other banner. Big thanks to cory for being the man when it comes to photoshop.

10.24.2000

Cha cha cha changes

I think the message board I have right now is kinda sucky. I am checking into another one and I'll post it for everyone to try out in a bit.
Come on guys and gurls!!! 10 more hits to go in a hour and a half to hit 1000!!!! Man I am excited.

Here is one possible new message board. Go mess with it, leave a message, and say what you think of it there.
And here is one my good friend scott suggested. I think this one is alot better. Go checkity check it.

And I redid a bunch of the html for the site to make it easier for me to manipulate and stuff tonight, And there will be a new layout tommorow as soon as the new graphics are done. I also think I am going to find a good voting booth program for the side bar.

So go fuck with those message boards. And buckle down for a new layout. Its been a great 1000 hits so far. I've enjoyed it. Except the game to get better from here on in!!!

I like sausage links

Word.
Of course to celebrate this milestone in my site today there will be two BLECHS OF THE DAY!
Now if that second site intrestes you, you'll probably dig this shit. I would like to thank rotten.com for ruining my life. That place is just wrong. Not as bad as bangedup.com though. This guy is seriously messed in the head, he is a pretty good artist though. I like his style. Now this site rocks if you are looking for some old weird stuff. My favorite on the whole site is the butt trumpeter! This site goes beyond plushies, beyond of of that.. Its just.. weird.
You say shes lucky, cause shes a star, but someguy is breaking into her house and photographing himself nude in her tub. I can see me getting quite a few blechs of the day from this site.

This guy deserves some major awards for his excellent page design. This site is tremendous. The best design I have EVER seen in a webpage.

Have you ever thought about joining the NSA? Do you just need a good pocket reference guide for sabotage? Weel this site fits your needs perfect. I firmly believe that this kid was planning some major havok with his tweetybird wallet. I think the NSA has a elite team of tweetybird walletiers that quelch uprisings in other countries.

Speaking of insane Iraqi leaders and the wacky things they do check out this story. The man loves his religion a BIT too much me thinks.

There has been a marked rise in the amount of mens magazines lately. And a definate fall in quality. Its hard to find good ones. My subscription to maxim should be starting soon as well. Well its not really MINE. Its Rabbi Jonathan Gilmourawitz's. Here are a couple reallly tight sex guide sites too. Check em.

Thank god I'm not the only one that feels this way.

There is a old saying that goes "You can't know where you are going if you don't know where you've been". Finding out about your ancestory is cool. So is finding that there is free money sitting out there for you somewhere. Have you ever played cupid? This site is pretty cool if you know two people that should hook up.

Oh god the losers got out and are on the internet. Oh no. As a side note I think combining the word user and loser is a good way to describe stupid computer users. Lusers.

I am such a sucker for sites with really tight navigation. Check out this site and the x-box site. Oh man shiiiiiiiineeeeeeey

Before it closed Forum2000 was one of the coolest sites on the internet. It looks like it MAY be coming back. That would make me happy. There are a few other forum type sites on the net though. The best is the conversatron.

Now this is tight. A punk rock band using a midi sequencer and a text to speech program. Punk? They are called 386dx how geek! Mc Hawkings crib is my favorite online hangout YO! I'm down with creationism! Entropy for life! Also check out Joe Rogans site. He is a kick ass stand up guy.

I laughed very hard at this site. Prank letters are cool. HAHA talk about the ultimate specialty store. This rocks!! I have allways said that mental patients should be allowed to have their own stores. This site is a perfect example of why.

Now this is the perfect gift for the do it yourself go getter in your life. Get one now before they are all gone!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is the best site EVER!! SOOOOooooooooo good

What was once good advice probably isn't such good advice now.

Jack T. Chick is a wacko. At least there are people out there willing to make fun on this religious fiend and try to put him back into his place.

I know a couple people that need a pair of these. This makes me want to get the toy story DVD and a dvd player.

Oh man this is great. They have some of the greatest how tos EVER!

Oh man I'm glad they are trying to make it even harder to decide which way to vote. I'm so confused now. I'm going to vote for gore.. Hes the old one right?

Do you want to get into Alisons pants? Go ask OJ if he wants to. Man this is cool too, you can go play with this guys apartment tempeture. Tight!

Cliff is allmost at a big point on his page. They say when he hits 50 pages of people that he hates something big is going to happen . That will probably be within the week I hope.

The hitchhikers guide is so great. The site has MASSIVE content. Joel Hodgson is a fucking genius. The original MST3k was one of best things to be on Tv.

I used to work doing CAD so this really interested me.

Oh god this looks like a god game. Soooooooo nice. This game looks super tight too. Cory has been playing Ultima9 lately and man that game is soooooooo nice and shiney.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abandonware is soooo cool I love playin old dos games.

If you have ever read neuromancer or any other cyberpunk books then this is kind of scarey. God I want a data jack on my neck.

It seems that yahoo has plans to sell custom made Cds.. Thats cool.

God bless the internet for telling me everything I ever wanted to know about slime!

If you enjoyed battlebots then perhaps this is for you. It looks hardcore!!! They have to build this shit ON THE SPOT!! How fucking sweet? I think these guys had something in both battle bots and scrapheap2000 but I am not sure. They are cool though. Oohhhhhhhhh man lots of explosions and robots!!

Sometimes just the very fact that everything in the history of the universe has led up to this very moment is scarey. I wonder why everything is the way that it is alot. This is a fucking awesome article!

Movie bloopers are way cool. Its amazing all the little things we miss in our favorite movies. They didn't have any for Goonies though. Because its a perfect movie!!!

Who wants to marry a sysadmin? I mean, really. Who does?

Now geeks have gone too far. Look at how they have corrupted something as simple as the magic 8 ball and made it something tragic and complicated. Ok wait. Strike that. Its cool

If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times. IT FUCKING FLIES! Here is a picture of it flying.

Cory told me about this last night and now its my new fucking hard-on product. I want one. I want everyone I know to have one too. Oh god here are some reviews of it too. I know its targeted at kids and stuff, but man its mooking awesome!!!! Man there is even a add-on mp3 player for it.. oh hooow fucking shiney.

Cooltools are cool and stuff. So are cool signatures for your email. And check here for the coolest tech search engine ever.

Go check out the animations that this program makes.. I saw this a long time ago and its still the most shiney thing ever!

The internet is a pretty weird and creepy place. It doesn't help that there are weird and creepy people making it even worse. Go read all the sites on this page. Serious creepyness. Now that Microsoft is out of the closet that they are being run by illuminati terrorists. The bavarians are crazy. Lets go eat mayonaise, hunt heads, make aluminum foil brain wave protectors, spread disinformation, and pet Mr. Winkle. I just went and orded my custom printed toilet paper. I can't wait to wipe my butt with Joe Libermans face. This is going to be great.

Personally I think this person is reading just a bit too far into the rocky horror picture show. But thats just my opinion.

I read alot of comic books as a kid. These guys may have read too many. I just know they jerked it to wonderwoman as a kid. I never did and I turned out ok. These guys turned out... weird. And this one perverts my dear dear spiderman. BLECH

And to finish off this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge post I will leave you with some serious top notch sites to try to visit often. They are all very good quality and have lots and lots to read. Check them out:
Code adam is kinda like a poor mans x-entertainment. But its still very funny.
The cult of nobody
I love the crazy picture of the crazy guy in the rice cooker. The quality of the posts on the site is very high though and definatly worth a read.
I am a big time redmeat junkie. I preach the wonderfullness of it to everyone I know. The humor isn't for everyone though. But its great if you dig it.
I've been reading Sluggy Freelance for about two years now. Its farking awesome too. Here is the readers guide so you can catch up and dive right in.
Zeebarf is some definatly messed up comics too. The rock socks!
Lots and lots of weird and sick content here. Go check them out and read alot of their stuff. Its all good.
I love chimptopia. I can't plug it enough. Good good good read.

Well there is my present to all of you for being such great readers and making this such a success. Just make the clicky click on all the links, smile, and enjoy life. It could be alot worse.

Spread the word and the love. Its all about spreading the love.

Well fuck me

FUCK FUCK FUCK
I'm sorry.
I got the post all typed up. I was finishing a sentance and then I accidently pasted something somewhere where I didn't want it. I pressed ctrl-z to undo it (it works in IE which is cool) but my z stuck and undid too much. Like a smart guy I reached for the ctrl-r to redo. About the time the page flashed I rememberd that ctrl-r is refresh in IE. DAMMIT ALL
i lost my entire post.
The important part in the beginning that I will rewrite real quick was just saying:

As of this evening I am at about 950 unique hits over less then one month. With statistics pointing the way they do that means tommorow (tuesday is the day I get the most hits every week) this page will top 1000 individual hits not counting reloads. That makes me very proud that you all find time in your day to come here. I want to thank you all for coming here and making this such a personal success for me. As long as someone is still coming here every day and enjoying the site I will keep doing it. To celebrate my 1000th hit I will put the entire HUGE post up in for you all. Thank you for making this worthwhile and enjoyable for me. Please keep coming here and laughing and spreading the good word. I am sorry about the lack of links today. I had a really good one cooked up until about 5 minutes ago. I feel bad now. I will make up for it tommorow.
Promise.

10.23.2000

If you enjoy the site

If you do really enjoy reading this site then please let everyone you know that you think would enjoy it. Do it in creative ways. Just spread the word if you like what you see here. I do all of this because I love letting people laugh and seeing people smile and enjoy themselves. Thats what I am all about. All I ask is that you try to do the same in your every day life.

You can make me smile by going here and giving my site a good vote. That would be cool and stuff. And if you know of any other good sites that list other sites like bloghop and stuff.

YMCA stories.

No they don't involve any gay men or any "wacky antics" with the boys down at the Y. Or even any village people references past this one. Today was my first day going back to the Y, right now I am very shakey and sore but it feels really good. I have been slacking on the Y badly and was feeling bad about it. Today was pretty crazy there though. I got there and there was a old man with his old floppy man nuts running around naked because he forgot the combo for his locker where all his clothes were. So that was pretty funny and I laughed at him. Then I got changed and the old man got his old man nuts all covered up (the two things were unrelated) and I went into the weight/areobics room to do my work out and stuff, about halfway thru a guy wlaked in that I had pretty much forgotten about. I am going to start calling this guy "Mullet weightlifter guy" for the sole reason of that he had a fantastic mullet and was lifting weight and hitting on some chick there that he allways hits on. He'd do a rep or two and then go hit on her and she would blow him off as usual and he would do a couple more reps and then hit on her and get blowen off more. It was quite funny. So then I finished and went and showered and got changed. While showering I remembered the first time that cory and I went to the Y after it opened. Man it was fun. We just went to swim and crap so we got there and got changed and swam a whole bunch and made fun of all the people at the pool (You can do that when you are two perfect humans like Cory and I). And then we got off and hopped in the shower to wash off and crap and while in the showers I got one of my patented great ideas (I think I'll tell the shaving cream story next, another one of my brilliant ideas). I decided it would be comedy genius if I completely covered my upper body in soap suds. So cory wasn't paying attention and was showereing and stuff a couple spigots over and I commenced lathering up my entire torso. Cory looked over and busted out laughing (he and I were the only ones at this time) so I start saying goofy stuff and being silly and then a old guy walks in.

Oh man. I just froze and started acting all normal shower guy like and just proceeded to rinse off and stuff like this was the way that I normally showed.

I thought about that in the shower there today and started giggling. I think its funny.

Now the shaving cream story. Oh boy. Maybe I will tell that one tonight.


Still working on the big links post though. So hold your horses and stuff. I'm also going to be adding a place on the left for myself to help keep me motivated on my diet and everything else. Its not really something entertaining for all of you, but Just so you know what it is when it gets there..

10.22.2000

Five years in the wrong I was assured. My name to you is just another word.

M. Doughty of soul coughing is one of the greatest male vocalist ever to have existed. His voice is hypnotising. I love it. Though his solo shit is NOWHERE near the quality of any of the shit soul coughing did as a group. For some reason the www.jonsnews.com address is down. If you are here you got here thru jonsnews.blogspot.com . Hopefully this issue should be resolved within a day. I changed some of the registar records and it should fix the problem. I would like to extend a warm welcome to Bill Bniblet the bnibblettiest bnastard there ever was. He is a new poster here and is gonna help add some content here because it sucks when I can't post every day and then I feel bad because you guys are coming here and not seeing any new posts and stuff. I am still looking for another poster so if you are intererested please email me!

Oh man. This is weird. For some reason my arms and whole body just got really really weak and I am sweating really bad and my hands are shaking.. ugh I am going to go to bed now I think since that seems like a bad thing. I sorted thru a ton of urls tonight and you can expect a huge post in the morning. Here are a couple sites to keep you occupied until then.

Diary of girls is a cool E/N site. So is chimptopia. Sporks layout is pretty simple, but its a good site as well. And if your a true pimp then this is your one stop shop for all your pimp shiz. I think I am going to make all my z's like that from now on, cause that is how I write them and stuff too. This link is for joel, though most of you will apperciate it as well. And here is the newest mens magazine for you to enjoy.
Ok. I feel like I am going to hurl. Its off to bed for me. My head is pounding too. Big post tommorow.

Edited by Jon. The www.jonsnews.com is working again. If it ever breaks though just use jonsnews.blogspot.com. I don't know what happend but I monkeyed with the registar stuff and its working now. PFM as scott would call it.

mo' shtuff

I have a site besides here y'know. Yesterday somebody convinced me I should make an 88x31 banner for it so he could stick it on his site so I made one. Here it is! Pretty good first try eh? You can use it too if you want...


Here's a few fun thingies I found in my brisk stroll around the 'net this sunday morn...

...some consumer products that'll make you shout halleluiah!!!

...How would you like to have this kid? At least you wouldn't have to feed him.

For all you Lovecraftians out there: Does the elder god Cthulu have a website? well, hmmm...maybe so. Here's one thing that should not be. Here's another.

Oh yeah and one final 'deep thought' for the day: If a man speaks in the forest and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

10.21.2000

blog blog blog
hello all All! Please alow me to introduce mice elf. I am Bill Bniblet, a bnibbletty Bnab who lives in a very dirty place named for the feeling of 'brotherly love' which is located directly above the center of the Earth. A funny thing happened to me Thursday night. I was not on the way to church.


The night before last I was driving down the Schuyllkill Expressway when my
car suddenly decided to stop running. I opened the hood to take a look, but
it was nothing obvious and since I had no tools or light I knew I wasn't
going to be able to fix it. So I started walking down the highway. Very soon
a state cop pulled over to ask what I was doing on the expressway on foot
and if that was my car back there. He wound up giving me a ride to the next
exit. I got to ride in front since there was a prisoner in back. He was a
black man, shackled hand and foot, who was being VERY quiet. I figured if I
were he I would not want somebody gawking at me or even trying to strike up
a conversation in front of the cop so I decided to act like he was not
there. As I was getting let out at the A+ I felt bad for the guy and decided
to glance at him and he proceeded to give me the most intense look of pure
Hate I think I have ever seen! Wow....! He held the look as long as possible
as the cop car pulled away. Probably, he was trying to scare me but I was
merely amazed. Then I called AAA and used a free tow to get my car home.


Now without fürthür adieu, and in keeping with the rest of the postings I have seen and read here, here are some neato links. Do you like blech?? Have I got some blech for you! and here's a funny movie for you if you don't mind the wait (of course if you're on a high-speed connection you won't have to wait as long as I did). And whatever you do, avoid eating brains. Or anything else! and don't breathe! But if you just can't help yourself, don't fret. At least you'll die laughing.

10.20.2000

So sue me
Before I get on with it:
THIS IS THE COOLEST JAVA GAME EVER AND DESERVES TO BE FUCKING PLAYED ALOT!

Ok with that done I want to get this out right now. Here is your BLECH OF THE DAY! And here is a mini-blech. YES! Please for the love of christ stop it!! Please!!! This page is cool too. WAYYYYYYYYYYYY up on the blechy scale! Weird!

I had read this site a long while ago and something reminded me of dirty shorts so I dug this up and posted it. Oh my lord. This site actually creates the word "cyber-dildonics". SWEET!

Man I have allways thought completely bootable game cds are a good idea. It would help close the gap between computers and regular video game systems. You could also use these to make them and it would be like having your computer be a play station, or something. As long as it would be quick and easy it would rock.

Woah ladies.. Calm down. It will be ok. Wow. One of my goals is now more accessible then ever.. Cool! Hoax or not, A loftier goal has been set for me and Jamie! Man! We have to get training. I hope this isn't a problem though.

Every now and again I go to this site. I haven't really formed a opinion one way or the other. It's pretty ok. But I laughed hard reading these articles.

I wonder sometimes why you would collect some of the really stupid things that people gather. BLECH Yuck! (Yeah I know its a plushie link too. SHUPP!)

OH GOD!! If you liked star wars this shit is cool!!!! There are a couple sites that sell REALLY cool mockups. And here are some kick-ass starwars urban legends! And here is the way that a vital scene could have gone.

As much as I wish that we had rocket cars and crazy future shit now that its 200 and junk, I'm also thankful that some visionarys ideas of what the future would be like were WAYYYYYYYYYYY off... HAHAHAHAHAHA Sally Struthers. hahahahha Odd how the pinacle of our society is airline cartoons.

Sites that goof on old video games and shit are cool too. They make me giggly. Here is another reason to listen to classical music if you don't allready have enough. But even nude classical music isn't as cool as the RHPS.

Emo Philips rocks very hard. His stand up kicks ass. So does Joe Rogan's.... I love stand up.

It's good to know that the cops are allways on top of shit!

I was searching the interweb a little about the goonies. I can't believe that this chick stalked Chunk.

This is pretty crazy. Are you still looking for more reasons to buy a playstation2? If so your retarded, but here are some more.

God this site is soooooooo so soooooooo cool. I remember creeping around old abandon buildings and barns and shit with my friends back in NY. Creepy and fun. Speaking of creepy. The fact that this is going on is fucked up.

God the streaming video on this site is REALLY REALLY good. You can even watch people blink.

I must say I am really suprised. Cliffy still hates everyone. I am soooooooooo fucking suprised this fruitloop has never been on cliff's list. What the fuck. Who in their right mind would hire this jackass to protect them???

Every day I get more weirded out by the internet. I love it. Thanks weirdo's for inriching my life! But not you Dave. I don't owe you shit. Full House ruined my childhood.

God I love caption contests. You could go input into my crazy billgates picture on the message board.

I'm thinking of adding a poll of some kind to the side bar at the very end. Anyone think its a good idea? Go make writing on the message board if you do. And Oh yeah! I am looking for more people to post on the site. If you are interested PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Email me and let me know!!!

ok. i have about 80 more urls to go thru tommorow. No Jamie this weekend so I'm pretty much too depressed to post any more tonight. Not being with my girl sucks so much. I miss her so badly. I love her so much. Happy sweetest day love of my life.



Nother big one!

I have it over half written. It will be up within a hour.

Long overdue big posty post post.

I am sorry I haven't posted as much as I would have liked to the last couple days. Kinda alot going on. But this post will make up for it. I remember doing madlibs. This site on the whole is pretty tight.

I'm sure some of you don't really enjoy wrestling, but I do. And even if you don't I am sure you can find humor in these sites. Check them out.

Sometimes you just need advice in your daily life. There are people there to help you. You may also need some visual aids to help you along. Or maybe you could use a little help to get to the point of needing those visual aids. Just run this site a couple of times and jot down a few good ones and head to your local bar to see if you can put them to good use.

I think I will probably post to this site alot. I don't know how many times a day I hear someone say " You did WHAT?!" (damn I need a interrobang)

Odd.... this was actually one of the domains I applied for.. dammit all !!!!

I found this spoof of fight club entertaining. Check it.

This is allmost as good as buddy jesus, but more disturbing..

This is fucking GREAT

Quicky before work

blech

FUN!

I hope to be on this site someday. But not this one!

This rocks!

Very geek. Rock!

Please god say they are not just jerking me around!!

Hey webheads
I know.. no big post today. I'm sorry. I was working on some nifty interweb stuff for you web-a-nauts to enjoy.. Its coming. I promise. I have like a huge folder with about 200 good urls in it set aside to post tommorow thru out the day.. so hang tight until then.

10.19.2000

Jamie wants me to say

SHE NEVER EVER EVEEER EVER WANTS ME TO GROW A MULLET!!! EVER!!

Not even one of the porn star mullets on that site...

The end is nigh

This happened on a call just a few minutes ago. I SWEAR the following is ALL TRUE!
These are the notes that I wrote on the ticket.

Ok. If you are reading this sometime down the road you will not believe this, but accept this account as fact my fellow techs. This man is the stupidest man alive. We got thru the process of uninstalling and removing Internet explorer and we were on our way to install IE 3 off the cd-rom (or a suitable netscape replacement). Well I had him put in the CD and and we went to start then run and had him type in d:\setup. We got a error. We then went to file manager then clicked on the D: button and it said that he had to insert a disk. I then asked him if he had more then one CDrom drive. He said "I guess". So then I asked him if he had two of the little tray thingies on the front of his computer. He said no. So then i asked him to make sure the CD was "shiney side up" he said "well its not coming out". I then asked him to make sure he was pushing the button on the little tray one. He said that "thats not the problem, the little tray one was working fine" I then asked him where he inserted the CDrom. He asked me "does it go in the little tray one or the flat open slot on the front?". I said "the tray" he said "oh....." with a dramatic pause. I then asked him "sir, did you insert it into the flat slot?" he said "umm yeah". I said "sir, did it fit in there ok" He said "no... not really"
the moral of this story is... HE JAMMED THE FUCKING CDROM INTO A DISK DRIVE AND THEN WONDERED WHY IT WOULDN"T FUCKING COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
and then to top it off once i explained to him what he did and that he would have to take it to someone locally who could extract that and repair any damage he says (and i SWEAR TO GOD) "so your just going to leave me hanging?"
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*EDITED BY JON*
I just pulled this voice mail off our system:

Hi this is uhh _________ again. I just left talking with jon. We left because we had the disk in the wrong slot. But i got the disk out so we can go ahead and put the disk in the right slot and help me get on the internet. Thats my BASIC PROBLEM. He advised me to take the unit in but i got my tools out and got the disk out. Course jon knows what we are doin.

BASIC PROBLEM MY FUCKING ASSHOLE RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My kung-fu is best.

Hello my little honklets. The sickness seems to be letting up. I'll let all my cow-orkers live for now. I added two new links over on the left bar. Pages over there are pages that I think deserve a daily read. So go make clicky click.

I'm sick

I swear to god if I'm not feeling better tommorow all you assholes at work that got me sick are going to make me hire these guys.

10.18.2000

One more thing

I just found this. I couldn't wait to post it. Go make clicky click and see elmo being gross!!!!!!!!!!!! Just wait thru the flash intro and junk.

This title intentionally left blank

ohhhhh I got some good sites for all yous guyses. First off let me thank Josh for turning me onto the dismemberment plan. I'm listening to them right now.

As a warm up I feel its appropiate to give you your BLECH OF THE DAY! It was very close between that site and this site. And this one is not far behind at all. Do it legless style! I think we used to have a guy working with us that had this fetish. Blech! This weirds me out beyond words. this allmost makes up for it though. God people are just FUCKING RETARDS! What the hell? Just let them live and be happy. Quit trying to say that god hates fags. I fucking cannot stand closed minded people like this. There is a asshole who drives around town in a van with anti-homosexulity bumper stickers all over. God I want to fucking blow up his vehicle. At least some poeple have the balls to make fun of those bastards. I just don't see what the problem is. Just let them be happy.
Ok enough about that though. I want happy links dammit. Check out this site for some pretty decent articles and erotic stories. Go here for the worlds first Lesbian Everything/Nothing site. Its pretty coooo-el. I swear i'm not searching for these plushy links anymore! They are haunting me!! AHHHHH Here is a good site with sex how-to's and stuff. Very informative. Yet another reason I never got into making porn. That and my tiny peeper

The weirdest thing about the sex links I put up is that I don't read or really look at 98 percent of them. Pretty much the only ones that interest me (from a non-blech point of view) are the how-to's and educational sites. I really don't find anything sex anymore besides my girl. (but she is way more sexy then anything else could ever be.) Just wanted to clear that up for anyone who thought that perhaps I like sat for hours and poured over all those sites. I don't. And I don't really expect you to. If you find something that intrests you then great!, but if not then just go for the blech of it and be weireded out. All I ask is that you try to go to as many as you can because it makes me happy knowing that you all found entertainment in my page.

Now I got to get my geek on. I'm sure you've all asked yourself this many times before. But now you can find out for sure with this site. Man the spiderman game rocked hardcore. The N64 one is gonna be way shinery just without the perfect voices and FMV. God I love shiney flash intros. The site doesn't even have to be that good. As long as the intro goes BIZZAM! We need to replace our cubes at work with these!!!!!

Nothing is better then some good tunes. Check out this site for reviews and stuff. If I could afford it I would SOO want a portable mp3 player, but I am saving up for more important things. This one seems like the better product, but this one is WAY more shiney.

I think that garage saleing and dumpster diving is very geek. Getting cool tech stuff for cheap/free rocks.

Here is a pretty good news site for the net-dwellers. Here is another.

Friends.. Prepare yourself for the ULTIMATE ISP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to be moving to hawaii now.

Hey bobby. This site is the one I was telling you about the other day. Go check it out.

Well until next time keep your eye out for illuminati and don't catch EBOLA YO!

It's your late night update of looooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvve

Man I scooped a TON of sites tonight. Here are some, the rest of them will magically appear as if by magic in my morning post in the morning. (repetition rocks)

There is a pro and a con for everything. Man I'm tired... now where did I put my glasses? I can't see shit..

Man what was this guy thinking? Blech! It's just not fair! Ummm I don't even know what to say about the movies that these guys make. BLECH! Thats what!

Jamie allways tells me how much she would love for me to grow a mullet. I think I may just for her. Go build a rock star, make sure he has a mullet!!!! HAHAHAHAAHA I remember when Jamie and I went to kings island on redneck day and we played count the mullets. I won!!!!!!! People with mullets deserve love too!!
This was a cute little animation. I type ?! alot, I think the interrobang is a cool thing, and its fun to say!

I've allways said that if you could just give the public cheap and easy time travel you would have a good business plan to build off of. Someone fund these guys!!!

Go to this site again and reread the cat enema story again. Its soooooo great.. Foley (our cat) does this alot.

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo scarey!! Watch out for big brother!!!! He will know when you download some good free books. Project Gutenberg rocks for free books too. If I was to have this laptop I would soooooooo blow a load all over it.. This is the most god fucking awesome laptop EVER!!! IT HAS A FUCKING VIDEO CAMERA ATTACHED TO IT!!!!

Here is todays OUT OF CONTEXT QUOTE:
You're gonna love this! My new chimpanzee is so realistic it's going to blow you away! Just look at the photos! Now imagine this - you slip the chimp on your hand, postition it as if it's clinging to you, and then animate the head with quick little nervous darts left and right - and it really comes ALIVE! WOW! I stick my hand up into this monkeys ass it just darts its head around? FUCK THAT! Thats not realistic. If I had some jerks entire arm up my bum I would be KILLING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!! I'd come alive allright.

Further down the page they have this:
Click to hear Relaxed hooting sound (125k) I usually make these
Click to hear Angry or Nervous screaming (39k) But sometimes I just get too wound up and get like this.

And this:
This is the hand position we recommend adults operate our chimp. It is more comfortable and it allows for extra natural facial expressions when you move it's mouth. Children will have to operate the mouth in the standard way with all fingers in the mouth...until our smaller one comes out. Their smaller what? And exactly what is it going to come out of? Oh god....
The site has alot of little nuggets for you all to enjoy.


I don't know about this. I really have hopes for it. Please let it be good. Here are some more pictures of it.

This site is definatly cool. Way way way cool.

I love this store!!!

If I see any kids running around with this outfit on I swear I will toss them like a dwarf.

And to keep you all occupied until my morning post there is this site. Watch the little thing on the bottom left side that tells you what the page is doing.

10.17.2000

This is one of the greatest things EVER!!!!!

Thanks to usr/bin/girl for posting this. Its wonderful!

Everyone should have an automated voice system like National Discount Brokers. This is definitely worth the (free) call.

1. dial 1-800-888-3999 (it's free)

2. listen to all of the options

3. after hearing #7, hit 7

Row row row your post.

Checkity check it. This site is tight. I found the nike ad that they banned on NBC along with a cool Mr. T one.

Cory pointed me to a couple links. The first is good. The second points to the coming of the four horsemen. I laughed so hard a few years ago when I saw this in a catalog and the fact that they put it on the net is scarey.

Since I seem to be obsessed with furries and plushies here is another site. God I love furry fan sites because I get to laugh for hours at the fact that they WANT TO HUMP STUFFED BEARS!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA furry places of a different sort HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Oh god it hurts. Blech. I didn't know that two fat people bumping uglies could be so dangerous.

Now I'm going to be posting about some REALLY poorly designed and humorous sites.. Fuckedupedness ensues.
I am going out with the best girlfriend in the entire world, but honestly what do you think this kids chances are? How about his? Kevins chances are... well lets face it.. shit too. Goths shouldn't be allowed to breed. I'm not going to rant. These people all should be allowed to breed before a goth. Jesco needs to have about 4000 kids (Its not going to happen is what I'm saying) before a goth should have kids. He's a tap dancing, coon hunting, bad hygene loving fool. None of my professors were like this. Thank god. Blech! I linked here before, gonna do it again.

Good, Bad, Good, Bad, Bad, Good, Good, Good, Bad, Bad, Bad, Good, Bad, Good! Very Good! GOOD.

Ok thats it for now.

Hey Jamie

I love you my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shes reading my site right now and thinks its funny and she is the bestest girlfriend ever so thats why I'm posting this!! And she is hot too!!!

Good morning sunshine. The earth says hello.

Blech I woke up late this morning. I think my setting a bed time of 3am was a bit lofty of me. It still seems a little too late. Oh well.

Lets see.. I have a lotta links here for you kiddies. Lets start off with the crap ones first. This site makes me want to RIP MY LEGS OFF WITH A PROTRACTOR!!!!! my eyes are on fire. Here is your blech of the day!! Now I just can't understand the eroticness of this. It doesn't even seem related to sex to me. Wow people are weird. And I love how they are referred to as "Amateur Pie Tapes" as compared to the one that Mira Sorvino and Don Johnson appeared in last year. I'm glad there are so many examples of webpages that truely show that some people should not be allowed to learn HTML. And some people are just too weird.

Hey guys. YOUR NOT REALLY VAMPIRES!!! HOLY CHRIST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!?!?!!? I mean come on. I can understand thinking that vampires are cool, I dig them myself. But for ass-sakes come on. You guys are more retarded then goths. I'd just like to remind all you goths out there YOUR NOT BEING FUCKING DIFFERENT!! If you really want to be different go GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH A HELLO KITTY TOOTHBRUSH. Now thats original. "ohhhhhhhh I'm a goth I'm gonna wear black and act sad and scarey all the time ooooooooooooo" Fuck off. Retard. (Browsing tip: go to the slumber party pics *you must be 18 to enter* OH god a nipple. Mothers hide your kids)

Now making fun of goths is clean wholesome family fun. Now those last two links were serious webpages, but I included them in the making fun of goths part because THEY ARE STUPID and you can go make fun of them and laugh and send funny mean emails to the webmaster and then send them to me so I can post them.... Not that I would suggest that or anything.

I came to the conclusion today that afro wigs are funny. I am going to go buy one. I'm also going to start leaving my caps lock on and using the shift key all the time to make all my lower case letters. I'm in fucking love with the menu on the top of this page. The page itself is pretty cool too.

True or false? You decide! I hear she wears one of these! Yeah right. Shes a dirty slut! I bet she DOES really wear these though.

Someone with some technical skills needs to make me one of these.

Now I would put a 50 spot down on a bet that there are ALOT of wisconsin people winning these awards! In international news the biggest russin newspaper now is being published online in english. Check out Pravda online International ads are pretty messed up. I still think engrish rocks!
Neurocomputers are such a cool idea. I hope quantum computing comes around while I am still around.
Since I am posting some actual news I'll go ahead and post this review of Blair witch 2 that is on "ain't it cool news" which is a pretty cool site, shitty layout though. This site had to move off shore because its VERY illegal. Go to the message board and say whether or not you would sell your vote of the price was high enough and just talk about the general crazyness of this page. And check this site out. Its a honest to god blackmarket online. How fucking crazy. And you can go to their sister site and rent a bodyguard or a fucking soldier. I was reminded about those last three links by this site. Its UK and stuff but its still gravey. Ooooooooooooooo pretty. I allready knew that magic: the gathering was evil. Thats why its so fun. I want something off this site. Anything!

Here is a pretty good daily updated geek site for all of you jonesing for more daily reads. This guy is making TheSims pictures of the news of our lives. Definatly very fucked up. Since scott was the only one in my office to think that the other game was a good idea maybe we can all get behind this one. Oh god I cannot believe I just said that. I'm messed up. Check out this site too. I had read this site a loooooooooooong time ago. Like when olestra first came out. Its still very very very sick. ZUG is a all around cool site. Pretty funny content. I really don't know if I could even play this game. I mean thinking of a small squirrel pissing on its enemys scares me. Not as much as disco ernie though. And to wrap it all up, if you've never seen this site before then your in for a treat.

10.16.2000

Welcome to Monday!


This is my new favoritist site EVER
username: moundweather.com pass: 1234
This is so great. Big post in the morning. I swear.

10.15.2000

Please please please!!!

Please for the love of all thats holy someone go buy me one of these!!!!!!

Rock over london, rock on chicago

Today is a REALLY slow news day. To give you a idea how slow I spent a half hour completely reading some furries site. Blech!

Scott these two links are for you, the first one is a fun thing. And its only supposed to be 99 bucks!!!!!!!! The second one is a site that I use ALOT while working on webpages.

YAY!!! Dell sucks!

Oh boy yet another step towards my giant robot that smashes things as I tell it to. RobotFrank has been my idol thru the entire time I have been planning for my robot. Read a very touching interview with him. He also has a really great Who's the Boss fan site!!!

Go here to learn about EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!!!

I told you that today was a slow news day. Thats about all I have. Peace!

10.14.2000

I love AOE too

Ok thats the only mention of the god-like game that I'll make this post. I swear.

Lets start off with my big shocker. I think this would be a good thing.. I know I know.. What Jon likes microsoft?? shutup

Beetlejuice is cool, but not as cool as a giant hanging elephant. When Jamie and I have kids I plan on taking them to ALOT of museums!

Here is your daily BLECHHHHH!

Allthough noone really agrees with me. I think that redmeat is one of the funniest cartoons EVER. This guy MAY be bob smith, but he doesn't appear to be normal at all. He gets posted because he is hosting my religious link of the day
This minigolf game ROCKS THE HIZZOUSE! So does sci-fi comedy improv. I think

I just liked this domain name, the page is good too.

I've allways wondered this. Now if they would do a study as to why when Jamie tickles me I'm ticklish EVERWHERE.

I allways thought that Jack Handy was one of the best parts of the older SNLs. This isn't a site about him. Well kinda. Derf! There are alot of laws that are dumb, but no laws about being dumb.

Tight!

Hey buddy you got something to complain about? I'm going to complain about how I wanted this domain! Fun!

God I used to have such a chub for this place for sooooo many years because it was a total mystery to me. I saw commercials for it all the time but never had the nerve to write in. I got the funk my my pants now though.

Oh jeeze. Erotic stained glass. Be careful while spanking. Especially if you are a idiot.

Ok thats my bit for right now. More later maybe. Hey everyone I'm still looking for other people to post here to. Email me

10.13.2000

Schroedinger's cat can suck my dick

Man just think if Cheech and Chong ever found out about schroedinger and his fucking cat.

I think I am going to start a music links area on the left tonight. I have two really sweet band pages to post. The first is from my fellow techin fool Bobby its his cousins band the distractions! The second is from one of the gals in customer service and its her brothers band website. Special Patrol! They just won a big battle of the bands ROCK!

EvilDead was one of the best movies ever. The whole series ROCKED. So does tripping the rift. Watch it.

Scott this is for you! So is this!!!

MC Hammer is coming back!! I SWEAR! My wu-tang name is Temporary Spastic.

This is dumb. This rocks!

Ever wonder what would happen if Ralph Wiggum and yoda had a kid?

two polar opposites here. I wonder if satan signs jesus up for spam?

I love AOE2

God damn cory and I stayed up until 730am this morning playing AOE2. We went two for two.

Now that the second gen of aibo's are coming out how about someone gets me one? Come on! God check their specs! How cool.

Now can someone explain to me why this site would have images not suitable for children? Here is some more religion in your face bizznich!

This makes a gurgling sound. BLEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I don't even know about this one. I guess these things all go under the catagory of stuff created by people that should be allowed to EVER PROCREATE EVER!!!!! You can't have sex though if you can't find your penis. Now here is a good idea.

I didn't know that he had actually picked out a favorite. I guess I should vote for him now or something. I wonder if it runs linux?

YES! More ideas towards my giant robots of destructions. I think I should make a seperate page for my robot!

I never would have guessed that the thundercats was soooooooooo fucked up. Wow.

Web filters are coooool. You could sarcastize my page, Smurfalize, Pornolize (its on the site somewhere. I just can't find it.), Valley-girlalize it or just plain Shred it.

I love modernhumorist.

Go hunt some ghosts. Remember the OTHER ghostbusters cartoon? Not "the real ghostbusters" but the one with the gorilla? I do. I loved that one!

I love a good hipster-geocities page. They make my day.

Scoot and Josh. This one is for you guys. You'll apperciate it muchly.
I love movie reviews. But BLECH!!!!!!!
Trailers rock too! Ok I am allmost ready to admit that I really want to see this movie too.

10.12.2000

Some people shouldn't be allowed to have ideas.

Here are some wacky patents. Wow.

I don't see what the big problem is with this. One of my old teachers used to allways do this. But he would do it with a pirate voice and say "ARRRRRRRRRRRRR where be my dubloons litttle mateys?" and it also ended in sodomizing our mouths. But it was esentially the same.

Discover.com has a article on 20 ways the world can end. Maybe the world will just TURN FLAT!!!!!!!!!! How could people still believe this? But I do believe in Mr. Winkle. He is the messiah. The end is near.

I like Dr. Demento. I used to have a couple taped episodes and records of him. Now I can listen to him on streaming audio.

Peeping in on peoples life is cool Big brother was cool till they got rid of the lesbian slut and the crazy fat guy and the pink haired virgin slut. Now its just pretty much my aunts house.

This site is up now. Cooking with huge electric shocks is sweeeeeeeet. So are free books. I want to design my own toys. And if I can ever afford it I want to buy those shoes that I designed.

My computer hates me and I hate all computers. You CANNOT tell me that a onion TV news show wouldn't rock the house!

Blech blech blech blech.

The campus rag is pretty funny. Even if your not in college.

I think I am going to blow up my work. Maybe i'll sew instead. I've allready got a few of my own but I guess if I need to come up with a new conspiracy theory I know where to look.

I want. I do it pimpstyle yo!

This is a radio station I used to listen to it rocks! This station is like the best one EVER though.

Backyard wrestling rules!

I found a bunch of good sites to fuck off at work with too. Here is one. You could read about how Microsoft rules the universe. Or you could rag on your fellow employes software choices.. You could also make funny faces. You could also grow some veggies from your cube. Maybe read up on the newest cool games. Or see about the newest operating systems. Or maybe you would like to just search the internet. You could watch a Mr. T video, see about gettting a brain transplant, look at a webcam, watch a movie, listen to some radio, or read your email. There is no reason to be bored. But if you are going to do it you better read the survival guide to office idlers.

Now I can understand that crazy psychic (sp?) that is on wayyyyyy late at night. Everytin is ire mon.

They are not giant but they are still robots. In fact they are fightin robots!! I love robot wars by the way. I want one of these too!

I never would have imagined that serial killers were so messed up. Wireless crap is cooooooool.

This game is the besssssssst game I have played in a loooooooongggggggggggg time.

I've been trying to think of a way to work this site into a link for about a week now. I can't. so BIZZAM! That link is brought to you by the fact that I'm sick of seeing it in my to post folder. Infact I think the whole next bit of my post should be me going to be the URLs that I want to clear out of my folder. There are some really good links in there, some are retarded.


Well thats it for now. Peace in the middle east!