I've been slacking

I know.. I've been a total underachiever. But I got married weekend before last. Had our honeymoon and this weekend we had four of girls cousins spending the weekend, plus girl got me my PS2... But.. I will start trying to update more and more. Work is hectic too..

At least not everyone has been a underachiever...

I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless,but not for long
The future is comin on.

I was going thru my daily reads and I saw on IGN dot com that they had a interview with the Gorillaz on their site.. Cool I say to myself.. After clearing out that damn floating banner ad I click the link and it FUCKING ASKS ME FOR A USERNAME AND PASSWORD AND OFFERS ME TO SIGN UP AND PAY FOR THIER SHIT.
Lick my sweaty nuts IGN. Suck a camels greasy schlong.. To make me feel better heres a article about the gorillaz. And a interview!

But on the upside I did find this linked somewhere.. So its not all bad..

Today I was part of Joels wedding and it was really cool and a total honor to be part of that..
Tommorow is my bachlor party.. Woot


Hmmm. I may have to get a tongue piercing before the wedding..

I'm not sure I trust scientist that quote HP Lovecraft..

I went to the chinese food place the other day and got the buffet and they had chicken nuggets there.. but they really didn't put much effort into their engrish and they labeled them "CHICKEN NUTS". Oddly enough there were very few gone..

Yet another great X-entertainment PokeHunt. Go read!

Uhhh its steve from blues clues personal site. Be sure to check out the hidden link on the bottom left.

oh goodie.. Backdoor boys fan fiction!

Be sure to go get your declassified nuclear expiriment videos today!

Here is a definate way to get people to read your instructions..

This site says that Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa and I FUCKING AGREE!

Todays BLECH OF THE DAY is another fetish that I just don't fucking get! And I will quickly follow that up with your one stop shopping site for furry shit! And uhhh PONYGIRLS

Necrophilia! - A users guide.. BLECH

MMMM this is really good icecream. You want some of it? Oh! My bad.. I didn't realise you were lactose intolarant...

Uhh this freakbox thinks that the 80's show "small wonder" was sexy.. BLECH


Ok.. well thats it for now.. I got my bachlor party tommorow like I said.. I get married next weekend.. So posting may be a *little* sparse.. But I will get on here as soon as I can throughout it all.

Oh yeah.. I got a email from a reader (Which fucking made me very happy. I LOVE FEEDBACK PEOPLE! USE THE FUCKING COMMENTS AT THE END OF EACH POST!!) and they turned me on to a really cool band.. Go check out AbandonedPools I think they are pretty bad assed...

Keep it real!

Cake rocks my ass!

Go download their new song Short skirt Long jacket its fucking awesome..

I used to love The dukes of hazard. I had all their action figures and everything. I used to make my mom be boss Hog though.. I kinda feel bad about that now.. Cause that's the only figure I would ever let her use... Oh that brings up two things in my mind.. The first is action figures. Girl got me the new Spiderman classic figure. It has FUCKING 30 POINTS OF ARTICULATION!!! His fucking hands can pose and his toes can bend. Its fucking incredible! Second thing. The dukes of hazard was a big show in the 80s. I remember it. Hence I remember the 80s. So fuck you guys..

This is the ultimate way to theft protect your PC.

Want to find a clown close to you? I know you do. Maybe this one will be close to you if your lucky and want to scare a lot of little kids..

The largest rock formations underwater ever were found recently. Dubbed the lost city. This is some pretty interesting stuff. Especially that there may be some totally undiscovered life living there.. Cool..

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh I am a mannnnnnnnnnn of constant sorroooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww Oh brother where art thou was a awesome movie and I fucking love that song for some reason..

Scapegoat wax - Aisle 10 (hey Allison) is a fucking awesome song too

Hmmm I wonder if it would be wrong for me to get a prescription for this drug???

Check out this fucking funny Tenacious D music video entitled Fuck her gently

HAHAHHAHA check out this page for all your Dick Cheney news. Is Dick Cheney dead yet?

I used to rave about Anarchy Online. Its seems its REALLY going downhill. Go read this review of it. I fucking love Something Awful dot com

LOBSTER MAGNET!!!!!!!!

Hmmm. You have to be super fucked up to make a web page devoted to your sex toy... BLECH

The fact that anyone ever created something called the recto rotor scares me. Make sure to check out the rest at the Museum of questionable medical devices.

George Lucas In Love is one of the best short movies I have seen in a long time. GO CHECK IT OUT!

Check out this cute site some little kid made dedicated to furby.. wait.. what's that?? SHES 42?!?!?!?!?

Wait for it..... Wait for it.. BAM!!! BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!!Be sure to explore and check out the "sounding" gallery....

These are some of the greatest Dilbert comics ever. Actually. I don't think Dilbert would ever really have the phrase "Fatty queercakes" in it.. They still fucking ROCK

Oh look.. Role playing game poems. I mean.. I like role playing games. I like poetry.. But combining the two???

Check out this page too. Make sure to read it carefully. Its called thispagecannotbedisplayed.com as a hint..

Make your own text adventure!!!

And to wrap it all up nicely. I have for you some of the weirdest fetishes I have ever seen. First be sure to check out the sock worship site.. Next we have J.R.R. TOLKIEN FAN FICTION!!! AAAHHHHHHH And finally we have this.. This is weird.. Its a SCUBA/Diving suit fetishist page.. Weird weird weird..

ok.. Well its work time.. More later..

Howdy

I got my laptop from work today. Woot!
So I can post and stuff from work sometimes if it is slow or stuff..

So uhhh the wedding is allmost here.. I'm excited!

Umm not much else.. Running some speedtests here to see what kind of connection I am on here..Seems to be a Frac t1. Not too fast =-(
Oh well.. At least I have the cable modem at home!!!!

Umm
Ok.. I have to go look busy.. hehehe

Hey there Hi there Ho there

I used to be a really big mickey mouse club fan.. Maybe thats part of why I am so fucked up now...

Back in highschool I actually wrote a paper on how the seven deadly sins related to gilligans island.. Its kind of cool find a site pretty much summarizing what I had said way back then..

NEWSFLASH: Angelina Jolie LOVES BEAVER!!!

If you have kids you better learn to talk that jive talk that kids nowadays talk.. Learn how to thanks to Modern Humorist..

Learn to quite masturbating the Mormon way.

Here is a review of AI that is really making me lean towards seeing it..

Well.. I gotta go do some wedding stuff.. Later...

Unbreakable was a really good movie too

Continueing my spree of grand titles for my posts..

I watched it this morning. It rocks... Its kind of.. Slow.. But just knowing that its building for a trilogy makes it ok.. I allready knew the catch.. But the signs were pretty obvious.... Its still a really really good movie.. Now I am going to watch Mars Attacks which is on cable. And then when girl gets here I am going to introduce her to monty python...

Well.. Instead of finding nice links I played racewars and watched Mars Attacks. Its good!!!

I'm quite pleasantly suprised by the movie "What women want"

It was actually quite good.. Girl and I just watched it..

I found a couple cool things that we can do at my bachlor party. What do you think scott?

Go play this game called CATCH THE SPERM!

Holy shit St Paul MN has some of the UGLIEST HOOKERS IN THE WORLD!

I guess this is one way to deal with household pests.

I guess if I was one of those guys who liked to stick things in my ass.. and I had some glow sticks.. then I would do this.. But I'm not...

I wonder if I can master this before the wedding.. Dammit not too much time..

I want to learn to contact juggle.

Night...

I am having a really hard time thinking of a good title for a post.

Jurrasic Park 3 looks pretty bad assed. I'm glad they kept it under wraps so much until it got ready to come out.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Now that I have a cable modem and copious amounts of free time sitting here resting I think I will go to two of my favorite sites today.. Dark horizons and AdCritic. Broadband rocks!

Tori Amos is pretty freaky.. In her next alblum she will be covering Eminim, Slayer, the beatles, and many others.. It will be a very.. Odd alblum to say the least..

Interested in AI (the movie)?? Then be sure to go read the story that inspired it..

I guess this beats the hell out of slow condoms. I would think just picking them up yourself at the store would be easier.. but.. If you get embarassed buying them or something.. Somewhat useful I guess..

Can't get enough tentacle porn?? And I know you can't cause you come here.. Then go learn to MAKE YOUR OWN TENTACLE PORN!!!

Hmmm. William Gibson had written a script for Alien III and it seems badassed. Go read what could have been.

Check it out! The Armageddon Bra warns the wearer of incoming missles!!

Want to join a UFO cult? Well.. If you do then make sure to join the biggest one. Raelians are pretty sweet. They want to clone a human (Infact their labs just got raided by the US Gov't), build a embassy for the aliens, and create UFO land. Fun fun fun stuff to read!

Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen. Do I need to do more then quote the title? And then we have idiots trying to make gasoline fireworks and blowing their damn legs off.. Fuck me. Natural selection I say..

I thought that science hadn't figured out how cats purr. I guess I was wrong..

Learn how to Impale a lobster like a master!

If I got bit on the penis by a snake I would be very upset.

A couple of kids open their own toll booth and make 270 dollars. I think I may do the same. I live on a highway too!

Check out this video of a pissed off baseball player kicking the catcher in the face!!! bad assed!!

Harrison Ford and Sean Connery are both ready for a new Indiana Jones movie. I fucking LOVE indiana jones!

Uhhhhhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiight.. This is just plain weird..

I've been back a couple of days.. and I think its time to bring back the BLECH OF THE DAY!! da da da ANd here is some dragon furry porn to boot! Yay!

I don't know about all of you.. But sometimes I have a bad problem with bleeding nipples. I am ordering a box of these!!! Heres a testomonial from the NipGuard site!
Dear NipGuards, I'd really like to thank you for saving my nipples. Before I discovered NipGuards, my nipples would often become erect and chafe against the jersey I wore for basketball. However, with NipGuards in place, I can play without fear of bleeding, cracking, scarring, or other painful side effects of my nipples. I showed my nipples to all of my teammates and they couldn't believe it! They all ordered some too. So thanks, NipGuards, from myself, my team, and most of all my nipples

Naked molerats ARE PURE FUCKING EVIL

For some reason I have lost the use of my desktop.. Its there.. I just can't click on anything on it.. Dammit...

Nothing is as hot as 8 color C64 Porn!!! NOTHING!

Oh goody.. A website named the Aesthetic meat foundation! JOY OF JOYS!!

Are you a sexaholic?? Then go here for some help.

Oh man.. This interactive ralph wiggum is simply one of the greatest examples of artifical intelligence ever made!!

I fear that Cory is turning into a raver. Hopefully ProjectPLUR can save him before its too late!

When I was in boyscouts the Monkeys Fist was the most sought out knot to know how to tie. It fucking rocks. Its a great know to know how to tie for camping. Plus if you put a nice heavy stone in it you can whack the fuck out of people.. Its fun.. I was one of the only 3 people who knew how to make the knot at camp. It was fun..

Well.. Big brother is back.. It sounds like this season they realised that the only way to make this popular is to relise that SEX SELLS. So hopefully the webstream will be worthwhile this time...Hopefully the won't kick off the interesting and slutty people first...WOAH WAIT! holy fuck there are allready two people sleeping together.. Cam four!!

Make your own fireworks show.. Just be careful George Bush doesn't come and beat you up...

You all should find hours and hours of fun stuff to do at the virtual pig dissection page!! HAVE FUN!!!

*DROOL* I WANT!!

I love multi tools. I want a leatherman wave. I want one of these. I want a spyderco one too. God. I want lots of money to waste..

Ok.. Well I have to go get ready to go to the Dr again.. Girl will be home tonight to help me finish getting better..

OOhh, I have returned.. Yes yes.. with dawn of new layout.
That remind something of me.
Wise man once say, "Build it, they come. Build it better, they come more. Offer free Jetson Porn, they come lots."
Very wise man, yes.
Must remember, true happiness not in heart. It in pants.
Wise man one say, "Bigger the tent, the happier the man."

I leave now, with previous words of wisdom for you. Reflect on them, one day, it will all be clear.

As a added bonus!

Here is a big description of how a spinal tap is done.. and some nice pictures of spinal fluid dripping out of a tap at the end...

Die Hard is such a bad assed movie.

Actually.. This whole being sick and sitting on the couch thing may not be so bad.. I just got done with die hard (which I had honestly forgotten was so fucking ultimately cool) and now starship troopers and the godfather are both on and I don't know which one to watch..

My lower back hurts very much when I sit up like this from the spinal tap that they did on me day before yesterday.. If you ever get asked if you would like to have a spinal tap (Also called a "Lumbar tap" by freak doctors) just say no... It ain't fun... Basically they take this about 3-4 inch needle and jab it into your lower back and feel around until they can plunge it into your spine and they suck out the life sustaining fluids from your SPINAL FUCKING CORD. And definately do not ask to see the needle before they start.. I did.

I have raved about how stuff works dot com before.. They have a section on how waterguns work.. great for some fourth of july reading.. I want to build this one day. It would rock my ass.

I love magicians, and I love self defense. This is perfect!

Seems as though there may be some REALLY hidden files in windows.. May be something to check out..

SAy it ain't so.. Optimus Prime.. Dead?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok.. That wraps it up for me.. My back is hurting really bad right now from the spinal.. I am going to go watch godfather and then try to update in a big again..

Ugh.. Meningetis(sp?) sucks my balls
And I can't even get off with just one thing wrong with me can I? I just got out of the hospital for that.. Plus a urinary tract infection, plus cellulitus on my leg which hurts me very bad still.. So tommorow I go back for a possible blood clot in my leg, and something that "may be" wrong with my liver... JOY.
I will try to post in a bit.. Time to rest..

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

I love how out of my 20 last search engine request here is what I have:
23 Jun, Sat, 20:29:33 Yahoo: jetson porn
24 Jun, Sun, 06:13:39 Yahoo: jetson porn
26 Jun, Tue, 16:45:25 Yahoo: "Jetson porn"
27 Jun, Wed, 02:56:52 Yahoo: "jetson porn"
27 Jun, Wed, 19:48:27 Yahoo: jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 04:55:50 Yahoo: jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 18:20:49 Google: free jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 19:25:26 Yahoo: jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 23:29:25 Yahoo: free jetson porn
29 Jun, Fri, 00:27:04 Google: jetson porn
29 Jun, Fri, 02:33:14 Google: furry rape
29 Jun, Fri, 13:02:25 Google: furry rape
29 Jun, Fri, 14:53:57 Yahoo: jetson porn
29 Jun, Fri, 22:53:20 Google: jetson porn

We all know I don't charge for the jetson porn here...

I love you guys!

ARGH I just fucking lost a post again for no fucking reason

ARGH I only had a shitload of shit in that fucking post
dammit

Thank you god for the IE history feature.. Fuck me this post was really long
Things I talked about in the post as I was writing it earlier and the links quick and dirty:

Battle bots rocks 1 million times more now.. Fucking 12 bot battle royals kick my ass!
Mitch Hedberg is one of the best stand up comedians I know..
Gorillaz fucking rock
Blech
Fun!
Bob barker fucking rocks!
Once again humanity shatters another great boundry!
This is the greatest fucking video fucking ever!
Spy shit is fucking cool!
Everyone deserves a good pirate name..
A 15 dollar fresnal lens is a good investment
A cool LAN party tote thingy
At about this point I had made a joke about microsoft and the acapella courts or something...
I really hate when I fucking lose a post. It was that crazy A.I. Site that cory sent me to that stole my post...
I made a crack that I have been away so long that I don't even know who all my base belong to..
Learn to dance gothic..
Golden Girls role playing is just wrong
I'm actually thinking of printing this out and submitting it to some places for work..
Heres some quick sex tips for all you geeks
There was alot more. It makes me sad that I lost it.. Though these links should keep you busy while I am gone tommorow.. Night night.

If I was as smart as this kid I would try to build a nuclear reactor too

I told a ton of people about this article a REALLY long time ago.. and noone believed me and I couldn't find it anywhere.. But I found it again... Go read its terribly interesting!

I think I may join this..

STOP SEARCHING THE INTERNET FOR FREE JETSONS PORN!!

Besides.. Its right here!

I have a new found respect for MySimon...

Make sure you take a few minutes out of your busy day to take the Contemporary Christian music test. I never knew Earth Wind and Fire was evil..

I see alot of fucking nuts shit on the interweb.... But.. I honestly think all of the dolphin shit I find is some of the most fucked.. I now am learning how to shapeshift into a dolphin.. I should have this completed before next week...

Noooooooo dear god.. Not Paula Poundstone.. Say it ain't so!

If you are on a broadband connection at work then check out this fucking tight ass speed test..!

I found out today why cats lick themselves...

Their fucking delicious!

You know those corny java applets that let you drag the clothes off girls and see their boobies.. Well here is one for britney spears!

Can't take the normal boring news headlines? Then how about getting them in haiku form! Pretty cool I guess!

Do your current benefits at your job suck?? No paid time off for vacation? Then use this handy little page to help yourselve get carpel tunnel faster so that you can hook up with the workmans comp and get some nice vacation time off...paid of course..

I got plenty of respect for anyone nutty enough to fucking launch himself into space.. Go man go!

YAY! Those marketing smart guys over at realdoll are coming out with a male realdoll with INTERCHANGEABLE PENISES!!!

Just what the world needs at this point. A site with pictures of naked girls holding a cat???? ahhhhh

Oh god this is tooooooo fucking cool!!!!!!!! Scott is going to fucking LOVE THIS!!! And here and here are some other sites you will enjoy if you liked that one!

Thor. The nordic ROCK AND ROLL GOD!

Click here to see a picture of one of the guys from ZZTop floating around in the vomit comet (That plane that can simulate zero gee) Read the article by Penn Jillette who was there too.. Also go spend some time at SinCity.. Penn and Tellers offical site.

Well.. Thats its for tonight.. Enjoy. The comment thing works at the end of the post too.. Comment what color you think the visited link color should be....

Its howdy doody time!!!!!!

hi.... Oh god... I am fucking tired.. I started writing shit and all I did was write the same word over and over and over again.. Let me start again and pretty much just ignore this part..

Hi! I'm Jon McClure. You may remember me from such webpages as JonsNews and Bikini Girls take on the world..

right.. anyway.. As you can see.. The page is back up.. Not perfect by a long shot.. But its fucking BACK UP. Nevermind Mr. T up there.. His purpose is clear..

I'm excited. I missed doing it... Heres what you can expect from me:
links.
Inane banter
Foolishness.
Long ranty shit
poor spelling and grammer at times
The funniest shit on the internet found as only I can
Furry tentacle rape pictures
pretty much everything I hope you have grown to love and miss

I will do bits and pieces with the layout. Fuck.. If anyone has a better layout idea send it to me..

Things I need:
Help. I need some fucking KICKASS people to help me keep shit up. Just one or two that can find crazy shit on the net. If your interested lemme know or something.. If not I will just keep doing it myself oldschool solo style.

its about.. 3am right now.. I have to fucking drive to toledo at about 8.. that means I have to be awake in about 4 hours..

Heres some updated shit with what had been happeneing to me.
In april I quit my old job of doing tech support. It was driving me nuts and I wanted a change. I promptly moved up to stay with Girls family until I got settled in. I spent about a month and a half unemployeed. Unxmaal was right.. I should have had a job lined up before I quit. I just couldn't take it anymore though.. I searched for jobs. Anything tech.. One allmost panned out doing nt admin for some bank shit.. Would have been a tight job.. If I knew more about the networking side of NT or something.. Fast forward a few more weeks.. Being unemployeed sucks.. No money...wedding zooming up on us fast.. I get a call from someone at western southern life insurance.. I interview.. It went well. Blah blah blah.. So now I am liscensed to sell insurance in the state of Ohio and I work for western and southern.. Pretty crazy shit of paradigms.. But I am excited as fuck and I am loving this job..
During that whole process I had dial up.. Yeah.. I couldn't stand viewing webpages so I didn't.. Then TODAY I GOT MY CABLE MODEM. Yeah.. you know what that means.. Jons mother fucking back..
Anyways..... Enough with the jibba jabba.. On with the links!

I know awhile back I mentioned the dustin diamond teaches chess video. And I know you have been asking yourselves every fucking day.. When the hell is jon going to come back so we can have some VIDEOS OF SCREECH TEACHING ME HOW TO PLAY CHESS????? Right now my friends.. Right now...

I'm all for wrestling. I love it.. Its great.. But.. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING REDNECK WOULD BUY THIS???

Rgiht.. With this quote on the front page need I add my own bit to it? ""THE #1 MOCK MAIL ORDER BRIDE/ ASIAN PORN SPOOF SITE IN THE WORLD!"

Oh yeah.. You must have our alma mater.. You got to have our alma mater.. (uhh I think thats how the begining of "My ding-a-ling" goes). For those of you keeping score at home.. Thats 1 furry tentacle rape site so far...

For those of you who can't wait the few scant years till they are official legal here is all the mary kate and ashely olsen porn you could want. Which personally is none. but...


Blech.. (2 folks.. Count em'.. Two...)

Snakeproofing.. The act of PAYING SOMEONE TO HAVE YOUR DOG BITTEN REPEATEDLY BY RATTLESNAKES.. This distubes me..

This too disturbs me.. Take, eat; this is my body. (mathew 26:26)

I honestly liked jar jar.. But I know enough people that would still get a kick out of this.. By the way any of you heard anything else about that crazy Episode one rouge edit out there??

I know to finish this all up you all would LOVE some knight rider fan fiction.. eh? come one.. admit it.... ok.. fine.. Here.. You can have it!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well here's my first contribution to the Blogger scene. Instead of trying to make up some stupid poem or something like that I decided to stick with the tried and true links to crazy $hit. So here goes. I know all of you have wanted to be cool like those script kiddies out there and talk in 1337 speak here's a translator for you. Also even though its all over the net and you've probably seen it by now, check out Fighting Stick Men. Its good stuff. So I dont know what stuff you guys want on this site, so leave some requests on the comment thingy. I'll find anything: game news, funny stories, pranks, porn, whatever, just leave some requests.

Goodnight and gooddreams.. I will see you all again soon.

(Blows the dust off of Blogger and sneezes)

Well, here I am. Sorry for the long time of no posting Jon. I'm just very unmotivated lately.

Inbetween sleeping, working and going to college, I've been playing Baldurs Gate 2. I just got it not that long ago. Yes yes, i'm slow on getting stuff. I'll prolly have a PS2 in 3 years. Anywayz, BG2 is pretty kick ass if you haven't played it yet. But, Jon has shown me the light. An upcoming game called NeverWinter Nights. A very kick ass looking game that will please the computer gamer and the hardcore pencil and paper gamer. Its got it all. Check out these movies of the game... When the chick got backstabbed by her partner, I KNEW I had to buy this game.


I've decided to lock myself in my room from now on because when I go out its either boring as fuck or gets way outa hand. So I'll be playing games more often so if I come across something worth mentioning I'll pass it along