Well here's my first contribution to the Blogger scene. Instead of trying to make up some stupid poem or something like that I decided to stick with the tried and true links to crazy $hit. So here goes. I know all of you have wanted to be cool like those script kiddies out there and talk in 1337 speak here's a translator for you. Also even though its all over the net and you've probably seen it by now, check out Fighting Stick Men. Its good stuff. So I dont know what stuff you guys want on this site, so leave some requests on the comment thingy. I'll find anything: game news, funny stories, pranks, porn, whatever, just leave some requests.

Goodnight and gooddreams.. I will see you all again soon.

(Blows the dust off of Blogger and sneezes)

Well, here I am. Sorry for the long time of no posting Jon. I'm just very unmotivated lately.

Inbetween sleeping, working and going to college, I've been playing Baldurs Gate 2. I just got it not that long ago. Yes yes, i'm slow on getting stuff. I'll prolly have a PS2 in 3 years. Anywayz, BG2 is pretty kick ass if you haven't played it yet. But, Jon has shown me the light. An upcoming game called NeverWinter Nights. A very kick ass looking game that will please the computer gamer and the hardcore pencil and paper gamer. Its got it all. Check out these movies of the game... When the chick got backstabbed by her partner, I KNEW I had to buy this game.


I've decided to lock myself in my room from now on because when I go out its either boring as fuck or gets way outa hand. So I'll be playing games more often so if I come across something worth mentioning I'll pass it along

Blazzow

Well. My computer stopped doing the beepy thing and actually booted. Happy days...

I am getting ready to go take my tux back and drop off that application. So cross your fingers...

I got two more response to the posting contest. If you are even a little interested please send me a email.

I am really big into RTS games and this looks like it could be the fucking KING of RTS. Fucking check it out. ANd then check out the screen shots here. Thanks to anamal.net for the link. Its fucking allready looking VERY nice... Its fully 3d. *jizz* Its very tight. You can play ANY civ from stone age to future. Fucking a! More screenies here!

Well I'm off for now. Maybe some links later. I will have to see...

Hmmm

Is it bad when your computer just keeps going "beep.... beeep.... beep...." Before your bios even posts?? I fucking hope something didn't fry in my system..
Blah. So anyway. Still searching for a job. I have a REALLY good aspect lined up right now. The interview and application are pretty much formalities. I talked to the guy for quite awhile the other day on the phone and he ended by saying: "it will take a couple days for your application to clear before we can hire you" So it looks good.
<sarcasm> I would like to say WOW to the overwhelming response to my little contest. TWo fucking people. One was allready a poster....</sarcasm>
anyways. Its still open. If you wanna post send me a email or something

Lets see.. What else. Ummm Last night was prom and it was alot of fun. And then post prom was awesome too. Then we got home about 530 am or 7am depending which one of us you ask.. Then we watched movies for a couple hours and then fell asleep watching dumb and dumber. And then her mom woke us up and we went shopping and her parents got me a entirely new wardrobe for my upcoming job interview. So thats about it for right now. I actually browsed a site or two today. Maybe links will come soon if I can get my computer up so I can go grab my favorites folder...

Also. Please don't forget about the donate box on the right hand side. Even if you just give a dollar it will help me get to a point in my life where I can start doing this site like I used to...

Well.
Night.
∞

Hello Jons News viewers. My name is muhgcee. You may remember me from such sites as ANAmal.net. "Why would I remember you from there, muhgcee?", you ask. Well, maybe its because I post there! Ah, yes, that could be it . . .

You all should go over to ANAmal.net as soon as possible. Don't worry, I won't plug my site THIS much in all of my posts . . . just in this one. On a sad note, my best material will always go on ANAmal.net, considering that site is mine, and this site is not. So, until this becomes "muhgcee's news" (which it never will), you all will only be reading second rate stories by me. View this as you will. I view it by the fact that even my second rate stories kick your ass, but you may not view it this way. Thats too damn bad, because you all are going to have to read my crap until I get voted off the site.

I am now being a hypocrite, because it usually irks me when all people talk about in their posts is what they are doing with the site. Get the message: Unless it is something big, we don't care! So shut the hell up and just change the damn font color! Don't discuss it for 5 days on the site, just do it!

Sorry for going off like that. No I'm not. If I was really sorry, I could very easily delete all of that crap. But I am not sorry, damn it.

I saw Red Planet tonight. What a piece of shit movie. I have seen few movies that qualify better for piece of shit than that one. "What about Ice Cream Man, where the Ice Cream man goes around and murders little kids? Wasn't that worse?", you ask. Well, no, it was better, because you could tell they MEANT to make it stupid. In Red Planet, there were so many stupid little inacuracies that it just pissed me off to an unbelievable level. For instance, would they really send up a bunch of cocky immature stupid piece of shit jocks to Mars? NO! THEY SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T! But, of course, it makes it sell better or some crap like that. Any, would their little robot helper have a little switch that could turn it from navigate mode to SEARCH AND DESTROY mode? No! Of course not! DAMN IT! STUPID FUCKING HOLLYWOOD! DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!

To cheer myself up, I will talk about Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I saw that last night with the spouse (not actually my wife, but she might as well be). Now see, they don't expect you to believe that people can actually fly through the air. And some of those things they do with the sword are also impossible. They don't expect you to believe it. All they expect you to do is say, "Damn, that is fucking cool as shit!" I did not let them down. You know why? Because it was fucking cool as shit! All those swords flying all over the place, it was fucking amazing.

Anyway, it is 3:40am and I am awake. Not a good thing. Hope you don't hate me by now.

I think I gots it figured out...

Well. I just got done playing a nice long relaxing game of Red alert two and thinking about what I am going to do with this page.

And I have come to a conclusion. Hopefully it will work well for both you guys and I for the time being..

Heres whats going to happen:

As of right now. This moment. I will open up posting to ANYONE that emails me and says they would like to post. This will be for about two weeks. At the end of two weeks you guys (the readers) will vote for the posters you like and the ones you don't like. The ones you and I like will stay and continue helping me keep this updated while I try to get my life shit sorted out...
If you guys vote a poster and I like their style then my vote will override the popular vote. This also applies to anyone who is allready posting here. You guys are going to have to bust ass to try to keep the readers happy over the next two weeks....
So if you are interested send a email to jon@jonsnews.com and I will set you up the bomb. You can also drop a comment at the end of this post if you are interested and leave your email so I can get it all set...
Let me know what you guys think.. Spread the word...

Posts can be anything. I hope in the end this will result in a good balance of people with crazy links, informative news, and stories and funny shit.. And then me once I get broadband back. Me with the god posts with all the great shit...
So. Sign up today. Anyone is welcome. Friends, enemys, first time readers. If you like then page or don't, If you post on another page, never posted before, want to get into it... Whatever. Just sign up!!!!!!

Welcome to the jungle.

Just a quick update.

Still looking for a job. Very tired. Still alive. Not sure what to do with this page. Haitus? Vacation? Just keep updating with little things like this?
Let me know what you guys think. Also. If anyone needs to contact me either use jon@jonsnews.com or jonsnews69@hotmail.com

night.

ARGH i cant beleive its been so long since i posted
heres an apology: SORRY!!!
and heres an update on my busy yet boring life (no time to find quick links, im sorry, but ill have some in the summer i promise!):
i had 4 papers due last week, and have 3 more due this week (im only taking 5 classes, go figure), on top of which its exam time starting from monday and my friend tom is coming to visit me from albany on the 20th i have my last exam on the 21st toms here until the 26th i move back to toronto for summer on the 28th and i start work on may 16th
IT JUST NEVER ENDS!!!
that is all, happy easter! :)

The power of a search engine

Its amaizing how you can just throw random letters into a search engine and get something back. Just out of bordom I randomly put "hjlh" into my address bar and hit enter and I let microsoft choose my sites for me. Heres what I came up with.

How about some easy listening music found with the random entry?

Have you ever wanted to how to play Clair? I know I have always wanted to know how to.

OOpps, someones PGP public key page. I know its an encription, but not sure what for. It just looks interesting.

How about a dorky looking guy behind a big set of drums?

Ever want a lava lamp of your own? Well here ya go.

LOL, if I didn't know any better, I'd say these were my parents.

Well, that ends my venture down that road. I know I know, they aren't as good or as funny as jons links. I'm an amature. I have to work up to the God status link finder... person... thingy... anyways. But they are links, and a few bad links are better than no links at all.

Yahooooooooo Porn !

Yahoo is taking it in the ass and in response is laying off 12% of its work force or about 400 people (wonder how many of them click on ad banners) and they are going to start selling Porn !!!

If you dont already love Microsoft (shame on you for not) then click here and enjoy some fun antics with Clippy. Poor guy lost his job with OfficeXP.

Need a low cost telecommunications sattelite ? Got a Coke Can ?

Figure this out N=R_*f_pn_ef_ef_if_cL and you will know for sure just how many kooky intelligent civilizations are out in that big black spacey thing up there.

Well I am tired of Blogger being a poop pile while I am posting this so I am done for now.

Well hello!

YAY! lots of people posting makes me happy. Especially since I lost my DSL today. Goodbye broadband.. Goodbye MP3s out my ass.. Good bye more then one webpage at once.. at least for a couple months...

HEre are a couple interesting things I have heard in the last couple days about the china thing:
1) the pilot had a history of doing REALLY stupid things. Like buzzing other planes and FLASHING A CARD WITH HIS EMAIL ADDRESS ON IT..
2) This is actually all a cover up for a technology exchange between the US gov't and China. Think about it. We fly a super secret spy plane over there for no reason. China bumps it. We land. They recover the plan. Sounds very James bondish to me...

Well. Today I brought up two fucking huge carloads of my shit. I'm allmost done moving beside the big shit.. Tommorow I am going to do a little job hunting..

Hopefully everyone else will keep posting too cause my links are going to be a little slow coming in for awhile. But I will keep posting...

So keep reading true believer.. (YAY! cheap marvel pop)

Oh yeah. Go download the new toadies song and send me emails bragging how fast you downloaded and and how I will never get to hear it again cause I'm on dial up....hehehe

well, i will have to put my 2 cents in now...

since it looks like this may end up being a debate about the whole china thing, i figure what the hell. i'll give you my opinion.

now, i spent time in the military, and know how that whole game is played. neither side is going to back down. thats is a fact. if not, this wouldn't still be in the news a week and a half later.

as for who is to blame. as far as i see, its an easy one. i am a pilot, and as a pilot, i know and understand the right of way rules for aviation. they are actually quite simple. hell, if it wasn't this late, i would get my FAR/AIM, fucking quote the rule.

anyway, it says that when a faster, more manuveral aircraft approaches, or overtakes a slower, less manuveral aircraft, the faster craft must yeild.

pretty straight foward to me.

now, as for the "secret technology" in that airplane. like i said before, i spent time in the military, (navy to be precise), and even with that, i say, "LET THEM HAVE THE FUCKING AIRPLANE!!!" that is how the game is played, they get our toys, they learn some secrets. we get there toys, we get theirs.

But...

let the crew members come home.

i know that the crew doesn't mean shit to the government, and they are probably more concerned about that damn airplane than those people, there is no longer any reason to keep them. especially if china was to keep the plane.

anyway, like i said, just wanted to put in my two cents. agree with it if you want, get pissed at it if you want. its your right. god bless america, and screw the government.

cya

A Chinese fighter pilot wrecked into my ass !

hehe ... There is an old Bushido code says that if a person is weaker than you than that person is your enemy. If we apologize and admit weakness, then China will attack us Ninja style and no one wants that. hehehe.

Anyone want to see a really good spy shot of the Green Goblin's costume from the new Spider-Man Movie ? Then click HERE ... no wait, HERE .... no just kidding ... click HERE !

Apologize??
Bush shouldn't apologize! If he did we'd give in to China and they'd make us look like we did something wrong when we didn't. It was their fuckin kamakazi pilot that deliberately crashed into our plane over international waters. China just wants to downgrade us and make them look like good guys, plus get some of top secret info from our plane and pilots while they're at it. Ah well, I watched some movie this weekend where China and the US sent nukes and each other and the whole world died from radiation. Don't remember the name of it though. It was 3 hours long and pretty much pointless but i think it was a good interpretation of what could happen. If you know what movie i'm talking about use the comment dealy below...

Dear All Other Countries (But Especially China), I'm sorry about my stupid fucking president.

Go here and apologise to china and the rest of the world since our president doesn't have the balls to do it..

Cory is going to love this. Looks like Queen may have a new frontman... Remember this guy from that musicvideo where he is ripping his FLESH OFF!!!

I've allways said there needs to be more faith based reality TV...


Mr. T is the happiest guy on the entire planet. Look at this man. Hes my hero. So go read this interview about his fight with cancer, god, and him being a mommas boy. And if your on a Mr. T kick them make sure to go watch Mr. T on the conan o'brien show. And be sure to check out the Mr. T shrine!

Fun for your whole family!! Get this for your kids instead of the newest pokemon game. Get ready for them to riot!!!

Join the church of burt reynolds! NOW!

Janet jackson had sex with alot of famous lesbians! Don't know why I used a exclaimation at the end of that.. but..

BLECH BLECH BLECH OF THE DAY!!!

A fifth-grade girl says her classmates trade soda and cash for sex. Its just getting worse folks...

This is a funny take on the DMCA.

The guys at my old job (Wow.. that seems so mooking weird to say) will really enjoy this.

I would be pretty upset if I was a system admin and I just LOST a server. But it was still there..

Check out this guide to women over on nicefure. funny stuff.

I love this link so much. It rocks!!!!

Why would anyone ever be against this!?

Ahhhh sims lesbian sex!!! And more crazy sims stories.

Whatever dude is starting to get really good!
Cory! Go read this article about stephanie McMahon! its fucking awesome! Everyone else read it too!

Allgiht. Well thats it for right now... I gotta go pay some bills and pack and take a load up to jamies. If you feel like it and got a extra buck please consider donating. If not its all good too. Just takes a minute though..

In my shoes. Walking sleep. In my youth I pray to keep...

Soundgarden is pretty cool...
Well. I promised you guys all the big news.. And it happened...

Today I quit my job. Right now Voodoo lady by ween is playing. Tommorow I continue moving up to jamies.

I feel really good about this. I cried today saying goodbye to everyone at work. And if any of you are reading then.. I miss you guys. Take care. Keep in touch motherfuckers. jon@jonsnews.com

I was scared shitless walking into the place that I have been to allmost over a thousand times in the latest chapter of my life. Allmost a thousand fucking days there. So today I begin closing a chapter of my life. I am shutting the book on good times and bad. Fights and laughs. There were alot of good times. Alot of fucking great times. It just hasn't been the same. Its gotten hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning. Actually even going to work was near impossible. And thats not the way life should be. So I decided I need to take action and remove the part of my life thats making me feel like this.
So. I am moving up to girls. That is going to be a good thing too. I will be much happier closer to her. I get depressed when we don't get to see each other.

My plans right now are to start my own business. Lofty eh?

Start small. Branch out. I am going to take out ads in three local papers. Get business cards printed out. Go to peoples houses. Fix their computers. Teach them how to get online and where to get the porn.. errr. I mean..
Most places charge 45-50 bucks a hour to even estimate a job.. and then you have to bring the computer to them. I'm gonna ask 25 a hour to go to their house to do it.. So I think there will be demand for this. I hope to actually be to the point where Girl and I are both full time employees and we can hire at least another person within a year. Lofty goals.. But.. I'm gonna make it happen. Fuck.. Lavern and Shirely theme running thru my head.. I'm gonna do it my way..

I don't know.. If this takes off well enough maybe it will lead into my restuarant. Maybe I can have the first wired sandwich shop with tech support and computer repair built in..Yeah I'd like a tuna melt and my modem needs replacing..
hey.. It could work..

they might be giants are fucking awesome too...

I'm drained. But I feel really good. I'm excited about life again. And thats whats important I guess. Though there is ALOT I will miss about the way things were. But the monkees said it best.. Err.. No. they didn't...

Couple quick links.

hey cory... Check this out. You can now grep on your windows machine!!

Err Just one link. I added a talk box thingy over on the left.. Use it! ACtually. It seems to be very broken. So don't bother with it right now..

I am going to try to keep up posting as much as I can.. Over dial up.. blech..

Anyway. I gotta get to bed.. big day of packing and cleaning. Please keep this in mind.. Just a buck or two will help alot.. I will post in the morning too.. Night.

I'm afriad of americans. I'm afriad of the world.

Well kiddies. Big things are in the works. I will let you all in on the details as soon as I can.. I promise...

Since there is such a assload of shit to read from yesterday I am not going to do a super long post today. Just any new stuff I find in my run thru my news sites..

Ahhh My job worries are over!! I am going to just get a job here!!! I will be link man. With my trusty sidekick url boy

Barfman is like hangman with a awesome Monty Python twist! fucking fun!

Animated Lust (rated PG). Women talking about what cartoons get their panties in a bunch. Fucking fucked up.

Hello? I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller..

AHhhhhhhhh the japanese. The only culture that would have a business that allows you to rent dogs. Mans best friend.. now only 19.95 a week...

Not even the actors have any idea whats going to be happening in star wars episode two!

Next on fox. When strippers attack!

What the fuck is this world coming to?

Take the breast test. Are these boobies real or fake??

BLLLLLLLLLLEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCH WHAT THE FUCK????

Why is period porn so rare?

Have you seen the red ninja???

Well thats a shortone for now. So you can get thru all the links from this weekend. Be sure if you enjoy reading this page then consider donating just one dollar to me. It will make the world a better place. And if you haven't done it allready sign up for the jonsnews mailing list

Links and a total lack of a good title..

I'm just waking up. So maybe I will come up with a title about halfway thru the post...

Pitch unger is a pretty cool comic. Its only one episode though. I just kinda like the mouse over language translation thing..

I don't know if any of you know who Raymond Scott is. Actual. I bet most of you have heard his work. He is the greatest composer ever. Have you ever watched a cartoon? Chances are that you have heard a RS composition. Pretty much most of the warner brothers cartoons used his stuff. He was a fucking genius...

Wearable computer are one of my favorite things... I want a wearable computer!!!!!!

You are not the contents of your wallet

Its a battle royal!! Megacar Vs. Kitt!! Who will win??

Heres your BLECH OF THE DAY

Have you ever gotten worken up by some bullshit telemarkter or had your supper interrupted?? Well this guy fought back!

I'm fucking glad I'm not the only person that feels this way!!!

I want nothing more then to drink coffee harvested from the poop of a ferret like creature....mmmmmmmm poop.. It smells.. nutty...

Woah. I had no clue that Fight Club was part of a three book series. Fucking sweet!

This is kinda depressing.. Which I REALLY Don't need right now in my life after this morning.. But its pretty cool too. Letters from people who have died. "A storage space for wisdom, Regret, and guidance"

Want to see your favorite website in several different funny languages? Well then check out this site...

This is quite possibly one of the coolest webcams on the fucking internet. My mind has been blowen away.

You are not a special little snow flake.

This is one of the weirdest fetishes I have EVER seen.. Its REALLY weird..

Final Fantasy has some of the most beautiful music of any game ever. So go here and download alot of it! I just really like video game music in general.

I know I'm definatly affected by this!

Check this out. Its a all starwars search engine! fucking sweet!

Ok. I am fucking done with that folder. I think this is the most links to EVER be posted on a site like this in such a short period of time..

Now I get it on to my news sites for some fresh links!

I have allways wondered this myself. Why is it that the moon doesn't have a name??

The adventures of No Eyelid man!! Quite possible one of the greatest comics EVER made!!!

Was the whole recent spy plane crash actual a cover up for us transferring technology to china???

The Japanese get all the coolest toys first. Check out these transformer commercials..

Right now it feels like life is really pushing me to the edge. Things are happenening that I don't even know how to even relate to, let alone handle. Some fucking people amaze the living shit out of me. Its weird how even the people close to you will turn sometimes... Not turn on you.. Just.. the turn that their decisions make. People have fucked up priorities.. Its really fucking weird how life will just flip everything around. Just when things start to look up. Everything is getting back on track. You wake up one morning and BAM.. Pretty much the whole thing has shit the bed..

Well. I am gonna go play some battle faeries and talk to girl and work on a new banner. Maybe its time I just washed my hands of all of this? I don't know...

Or would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? Or would you rather be a link?

CJ asked me tonight what the whole furry thing was about that I have.. Well. I think this old post explains it best. I actuall think that is one of my best posts ever..

My new personal god unxmaal got me turned onto this program. Tis VERY nice.. It does both ICQ and MSN and Yahoo messaging.. its fucking sweet ass. Go download!
you can find me at jonsnews@jabber.com on it. Or any of my other contacts..

You guys are all aware of my love of crazy japanese stuff. I even have a engrish lighter. So this page is like buttah for me. Go and check out the greatness.

Red Meat is great. Star wars is great. There fore meat wars must be great!

Have you ever considered calling Miss Cleo for tech support? Well maybe next time you have trouble you should!!! And speaking of MS. Ever wonder exactly where they are going with their crazy naming scheme?

This game is so cool that I bookmarked it and I don't know why. But it has to be cool for some reason..

I don't really want to believe that Mario was all about spreading communism..Now Luigi maybe...

Uhh this first story is quite weird.. I mean.. I believe in aliens and everything. But I think they have slightly better things to do..

These speakers look really bad assed. And The DVD player is fucking AWESOME.

I'm really hopeing us guys can get hooked up with one of these too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh.. Ok. I'm up to R now. Time to get to bed for the night. Bye bye. Nighty night.