Reasons I love Scott

I can't even go into all the reasons (some are illegal in 48 states).
But one is the jons button on his site. It makes me happys.
Two is his stunning wit. Witness this conversation between us this morning:

Jonathan says:
i kinda want to go back to school.. I want to teach
mawd says:
oh god!!!! you teaching
Jonathan says:
I want to corrupt the minds of our young
Jonathan says:
hehehehhe
mawd says:
you think you can get through a day with out furry creeping in???
mawd says:
that was great
Jonathan says:
hahahahhh well as long as i started off my day with it..
mawd says:
hey, i got it
mawd says:
why not become a school mascot???
Jonathan says:
HAHA

He is a genius. Perhaps even a savant. He rocks socks so go visit his site alot! He also sends me crazy ebay auctions all the time like this one

So ya want some links too? Well here is one of the most disturbing news articles I have read in a long time. And here Is a great article by Dave Barry (yes THE Dave Barry) on the playstation two. And here is a little carlin goodness to set your day off right. I'm not sure exactly why you would want to do this. But the hawii five oh theme playing in the background REALLY drives the point home.
And to finish it all off nicely with this little cherry to go on top... Your CHRISTMAS LINK OF THE DAY OR WEEK OR UNTIL I POST ANOTHER

Blech!

God I hate formats.
I hate anything changing.
I want everything to stay the same until it is planned out that it should change. And then the plan for it to change has to go off without a hitch.
I hate plans not working out. I love when a plan comes together.
I fucking HATE formats.
I allways feel like I am forgetting to back something up. I allways do forget.
God damn it I fucking LOATH formats
I have to format at home soon. They are formatting my baby at work.
Oh well I got my shit backed up. I think.
All my important work notes and shit at least.
UGh
I hate formats.

Internet, you make me want to walk like a camel

I love the internet. Where else could I find shit like this? I am so serious that I stumble across all of this stuff I find. I have about 30 sites that I go to daily and then from there I follow links and if that site doesn't have anything good then I find a link off there to some other site and follow until I find something crazy.
Sometimes I hit paydirt right off the bat. Like today. One of my first destionations is www.portalofevil.com I usually just check out the last three days worth of links. And then right away this. BAM my day starts with furry.
I didn't go anywhere looking for it. It just finds me. I swear. I cannot get the furry out of my life. Its scarey folks. I don't post all the furry links because I like them. I post it hopeing that the furry-demons get out of my head.

And shit like this. I don't go looking for it. It just finds me. I am a weird magnet. My life is made so weird weird weird weird(scroll down on that one folks.) by the fucking internet. I am afraid to wake up some days. Becuase I know after about two clicks of my mouse some page will find me and is going to effect my entire day.
I think maybe I am cursed. I'm not gay. I'm not into furries. I am a straight 20 year old male with a wonderful relationship with a terribly hot female that isn't into scat or dressing up like a fucking chicken or anything weird. I'm so fucking vanilla its sad. But then I get on a computer and weird surrounds me. I get to work and spout out urls like "go here guys" or "check this out scott"
Ok maybe sometimes I go looking for it a little. I just wanted you all to know that if you go to google and seach for goatse this page is the second fucking hit!!

Well Thats it for right now. I am going to sign off and head to worky work. Maybe make a post there. We will see. But enjoy those links for now and know that I have a folder on my desktop right now with about 408 more urls in it to post and its growing every fucking time I sit at a computer.

Come on and dig me. Cause I'm the fly pigmy

I have some ideas for orginal content that I am going to be working on over the next couple days. I don't know. Its gonna come second to posting though.
So i'm tired right now. Long post first thing in the morning. I swear!

we have the technology? god no! the technology has US!

I'm odd today. The whole world is off its rocker. I didn't get to post last night like I wanted to because blogger crashed and lost my post and that made me have to go play icewind dale. I'm really sorry for the lack of posting lately. Its been a busy week. I assure you that posting will resume to above par next week (after my training is done). But when I don't get to post alot I get TONS of urls built up. So this will be mostly a hemmorage post. But bear in mind these first couple featured links:

The thin H line is the most fucked up comic. EVER. Its.. Odd.. Go read it alot.
This movie is so fucking funny. Its pretty big though.
Go check out these violent midgets!
Check out the 10 worst video games ever. How many have you played?


So for now I will just toss some up fresh links for you all to feast on. Jonsnews just want to say word up to my good friend hootie who is out of commission right now with a dead power fan.
Go to all the links. I wouldn't drag and drop a URL that wasn't shit.
Peace easy.
Oh yeah I am also working on some really cool stuff for the site too. So keep a eye on that too.

I just want to shout out to my good friend
HOOTIE. You should all go to hooties website. Hootie is gonna hate me more then he allready does. HEHE

Yeah straight from the top of my dome. As I rock rock rock a microphone

HAHAHAHHAHA someone found my site thru altavista by searching for THIS!!!

I got alot of weird links for you guys today. Sorry about the lack of posts yesterday. The frontend webpage that I use to post was down.. Anyways.

I love how in our society we are completely sue-crazy I mean sure some deserve it. But sometimes its insane. Speaking of insane, since I am in a pretty whacky mood I think I am going to post the absolute wackyiest links that I have been saving up.

First of all we have dog diapers. Let me repeate that DOG FUCKING DIAPERS! Go there. Watch the video.

AHHHH this guy is scarier then Sweettooth on those twister metal commercials. This guy IS the reason for sites like this.

Uhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhttt.

Oh god I think I just bought and uhhh oh god. I don't even know.

This guy needs a hobby. I mean really really needs a fucking hobby. Why do people allways have to ruin my childhood things??

UGH!!!!!!!!!

I guess these guys were the epitomy of weird. So fucked up. I remember when this happened and how surreal it all seems looking back at it now..

This was a little more interesting then it was weird. But still weird.

Personally I think this sounds better then popcorn to go along with a nice movie in the theater. Allmost as fucking nuts as the packaged pickels they sell here at the movies. PACKED WITH JUICE!!!

Man I hope Joelseph is enjoying his cable modem. While I'm thinking of joel here is a site for him.

Riiiiiiiight.. Stoner chicks. Yeah they are hot. Hot like a fucking furry (Honestly folks I sooooooo don't have a furry thing. I promise). Oh yeah and this is the guy that made all those crazy Jetson porn cartoons and stuff. Hes odd.

OH JOY! 70s porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a nice little pyramid scheme that will make you all happy.

You think alot of people find this site on search engines?

Well thats it for now. I will try to squeeze off another post before I leave for my girls after work. I will try to keep up the posts even with the holidays

Woah. A sunday post.

Right. Sometimes I find myself just staring at the screen in wonderment at the sheer..... I don't even know how to explain it. It's sites like this. Why?
It all makes my head hurt. I guess its just furryism taken too far. Honestly it is one of the weirdest sites I have ever seen. Ever. And this site still has me shaking my head. ARGHHH I can't comprehend what would make someone make this site. The head is a definate click on this one. SWEETBREADS!! MOO! So is mankind doomed or what? I mean with people like these running around out on the streets. The world is full of the weird people. Its all good though. Because then you have the flip side of the coin. You have the terminally cool people. The people that kick so much ass that you get bruises 4 miles away.

Well this is the list that makes me and many other people decide what they want for christmas. I wait for this list every year!! I WANT! And speaking of my christmas list. Here it is for this year. All the overly expensive stuff that I want in the world!

New shiney toy

On the link bar to the right left is a link under the site navigation that says "submit a link" go click on it and submit your cool links for everyone to see. Also please please please post stuff in the message board too.

I'm sick *BLARGH*

Blech. I ate a habenaro (sp?) pepper today and the heat wasn't too bad (they are the hottest pepper in the world) but soon afterwards my stomach decided that Belly and Mr.Pepper didn't like each other. So Belly kicked Mr. Pepper's ass right out the door that he came in, along with his friends Professor Sammich, Mrs Orangjuice, and Senor Burrito. Not too long after that Belly and Dr. Pooper got talking and Belly got Dr. Pooper all riled up and Dr. Pooper kicked the Feces twins (who had been visiting Belly not long before) right out the back door.
So no update tonight. Belly and I are going to bed now, hes angry and not talking to me. Belly needs his rest...

Oh yeah I noticed alot of people are getting here from searching altavista for Mr. Winkles. Well you won't find him but you will find plenty of other good stuff. But you WILL find me repeating the word WINKLE 23 times right now. WINKLEWINKLEWINKLEWINKLEWINKLEWINKLEWINKLEWINKLE WINKLE WINKLE
Ok Thats enough. WOah I'm tired and sick. I should also mention that something is broken with the archives. Don't go to them. I will work on fixing them soon.

night night. Belly says "goodnight internet"

www.Icouldnotthinkofagoodtitle.com

I'm thinking of adding a expanded links page to the site. I dunno. I updated the poll thingy. like 15 people voted allready. That put a big grin on my face. Now if I could only get all of you to make some noise in the message board my life would be allmost complete. I updated it and made some changed. I think I also fixed it so that you don't even have to be registered to use it. So go write alot of stuff in there. Rock!

And man its sooooooo snowing here. I fucking love winter. I am so happy its snowing. Snow just means more having to stay inside and snuggling with my girl to stay warm. Darn!

I just saw this on usr/bin/girl and figured I would post it because its all 50% off and I fucking love sales.

I am really really amazed that a subliminal message tape can make my wang bigger. But I guess I would try anything. And I guess if I was going to get any kind of enlargment process done I would definatly BARGIN SHOP. Why pay more for enormous ta-tas when you can get a below market negotiated price on your boobjob. I have a strong feeling that most of the doctors are much like that doctor on the simpsons. I hate some people.

Here is a site if you ever wanted to know about your favorite heavy metal singers size of his junk.

Erotic stories are pretty cool. Here are two sites for them. Here is one that is a bit odd.

And here are two sites that I found interesting.

Lets see what else I have here in my sex urls folder. Oh a couple funnyish sites for you. The cyrano server will hook you up if you are too shy to write a nice lovely letter yourself. I guess if you are a bigtime do it yourselfer then this is for you. Seems like quite a big project to me though.
Are you looking to go cruising? Don't want to do it alone? Don't have any friends to ask? Then this site is for you!
This is probably one of the weirdest fetishes I have ever seen, well second to this. Ok maybe its not the WEIRDEST, but its close.. Weird weird weird. And here is a site to get you allready for your next trip to Thailand. Now I would soooo buy into this crazy ass ISP.. This is worse then Pokemon sex, because at least pokemon is cool. Blech of the day folks. Definate blech of the day.

Well its allmost work time. I think I am going to do alot of my christmas shopping online this year. I plan on sending alot of christmas cards online too now.

Shiney things

Shiney things are my favorite things. I could just play with a ball of tinfoil for like hours on end. I love love love shiney things. I love the interweb because of the sheer volume of shiney shit that is all over it. Take of example some of the cool ass games I have found. Exploding sheep is really fun once you figure out that the instructions that they give you don't work. The reflex tester is way addictive. If you beat my score let me know! And here is another game called reflex that is super fucking shiney! And here are a couple cool java games over here too. Scott my good buddy has some good javagames over on his site too. But don't go there until he gets fucking moon lander. I WANT MOONLANDER SCOTT!!!

Oh god. This is a online photoshop for the shineyly challanged. With music too. Hours of fun!

And then check out this kinda cool avatar chat thing. Pretty cool considering it is all flash. And sissyfight is pretty fun as well.

OOOOOOooo A lite bright online. I made a Jonsnews logo with it. So its pretty cool and stuff.

And these pickup lines are the shit! So are anagrams.

A couple last cool things are the movie cliche page.

I love illusions. A good optical illusion makes me giggly.

Everyone knows the stories. Go read some urban legends.

Bottle mail is pretty cool. It takes the old concept of tossing a note in a bottle into the sea into the information age.

I don't have to go into work until 3 tommorow so more post tommorow.

*updated at 0200 by Jon*
My buddy Scott issued me a challange on his site with the reflex tester. I came thru in true style.

Site stuff and posty stuff and stuff

Site stuff first. Cory made a new banner and it fucking kicks the most ass. Its updated on all the skins. I also switched the banner over to vectorstar instead of my old geocities space because I noticed it lagged a little on the load sometimes. The awesome guys at vectorstar swapped drives the other day too so that crazy stop during the load seems to be gone now too. I just noticed the archives link on the left was broken too. So thats fixed. As far as I can tell everything is working perfect. Make sure to email me if you see anything broken.

Now the big news for today FUCKING SODAPLAY WAY UPDATED THEIR SHIT!!!!!
Sweet god now you can save your models and you can also email them to people. There are alot of cool models allready saved check out these:
The yoyo - fucking stunning.
Trampoline - simple but cool.
Internal engine - wow. shiney!
Snowmanguy - CUTE!!!!!!!!!

More to come when I get to work.

Well HELLO All !

This is soooo odd that I am making a post. I have normally been just a behind the scenes guy here at JonsNews. You know doing all the shit work like helping Jon with HTML, and hex-codes and keeping the FBI, CIA, DEA and various other govermental agencies off of Jons back so he can keep rattling out these crazy posts.

The reason I am posting is simply this, I work with both Jon and Scott and would just like to let everyone know that while Jon was away on his day off, someone (who shall remain nameless) printed out a full size, full color picture that Scott made of Jon and hung it up in the office. Everyone had a good laugh. So once again, for the sake of humanity, everyone run on over to Scott's site and check out this picture.

Well kiddies, I am off to Florida to settle this whole Election thing.

Signing off for now, but not forever -

Cory

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig post

Scott. I totally understand about putting the picture up of me on YOUR SITE. All is fair. I got a really good laugh out of it and a good time was had by all. Scott rocks!

Ok well I plan on catching up and emptying out my entire URL folder so buckle down for a big one ladies and gents.

As much as I hate goths this site rocks. Because amihotornot sucks more then goths. This is the ultimate suck-i-tude.

I have a couple cool cartoon sites for you guys. ThinHline is fucked up. I mean seriously fucked. Pokey the penguin is once again up. Now my life can return to normal! I so love pokey. Read them all! Inktank is a seriously good geeky comic. So is sinfest it deserves a look too. This is a comic. Thats all I can say about it really. Here are some pretty cool poser comics. Poser is cool. My best friend cory used to make alot of really cool poser and bryce pictures. I love redmeat. Check out the make your own redmeat site. This kind of appeals to me. I love x-men.. but this is a little blasphemous.

ZUG proudly claims that they are the webs only comedy site. They have some really great and original content. I love reading zug. Go read zug. And say the word zug alot too because its fun.

Cory and I spent a fucking hour at this page the other night screaming out names of all the GI Joe shit we used to have. Very cool site. I used to have all these cards too. They were so fucking cool

This doesn't relate to anything. But I have had popeyes chicken before and it is godlike. Very spicey

Don't click here.

Woah! This site is pretty shiney.

Cory sent me this site quite some time ago. I love mythlogy. It makes me happy. Here is another cory link that I couldn't find a place it really fit it. But it kicks ass so its going in now.

Neuromancer is definatly one of my top 5 favorite books ever. Go here to read it for free if you are too cheap to pay the like $1.25 for it on half.com

If you are on broandband then this site is for you. GO GO GO

These guys are crazy! It looks like such a fucking fun wrestling promotion to go see.

Anyone can make good art. Really good bad art is hard to come by though!

Sweet god there are still so many sites to go thru! ack! Back to work self *snaps whip*

I posted the number for the duck voicemail. I had no idea they fucking spent this much money on it. Oh god. I call it over and over and over now that I know this.

Stuck in your life? Don't know what to do? Ask a ninja!

I'm sorry I have to break the news. But.

And since I have sucked at it I figure I owe you all a couple BLECHS OF THE DAYS PAST! BLECH!

Well thats it for now. Go have a party! Go read about some nice firm wet boobies

Engrish for you

Oh god I got reminded this morning how much I like engrish.
Stuff like this:



Go here for some really really really great funny stuff.

HAHAHAAH

*note I posted this last night and it was really funny but stuff crashed so now I am posting it again and its less funny*

Oh god. Scott is so going to kill me, but the irony of this all can't escape, I just feel that I have to share with you all. Scott posted the other day on his site about how he is becoming a Red-neck. Then last night I find this page And for the love of god don't go to this link. I just want to say HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh god Scott you are so going to kill me!! But man Scott. I tell you what. If you did this to your truck you would so not be a red-neck anymore. (hopefully that last link and linking to his page a bunch of times will make up for the insinuation that I made with the first link.) Though this could potential make you more redneck. Keep a eye on his page to see whats up. Scotts site makes me happy.

Bad news.

I have two pieces of very bad news for all of you. Please read this and this. Do it for little Timmy

I just wanted to say "I'm sorry"

Ok everywhere that I go I hear it. At least once a day someone asks me. And I have been living a lie. I should have told all of my friends and family sooner. Its very hard for me to admit to this. Ok... here it goes. I let the dogs out.

I am trying to get them all back. I promise.
I'm sorry for letting the dogs out. Just please stop asking everyone about it now that we all know it was me.

Hey there hi there ho there

I'm working on rewriting that huge post so to tide you over I am gonna get some links up homey!

Since there is no such thing as enough good ideas here is a site to get some fresh ideas. Here is another. And here you can find out strange uses for normal household items.

Sweet god there are alot of people in the US. Its cool because you can refresh it and see the number raise.

Your Pokéname is Humnerd. You live in the blazing deserts of Libya, and your diet consists mostly of wolves, garbage and wine. I can breathe fire. I can throw nunchucks. I can shoot lightning. My natural enemy is Squirtle. You can go here to find out your pokéname!

Last night I had to clean the crap out of a keyboard here at work (thanks Scott!). And I remembered how much I really used to enjoy taking things apart and finding out how things worked.

Formen.ign.com is pretty tight. I have alot of respect for a good DJ.

I wish I had known about this site a few years ago when I used to be a very very very very bad kid.

Sometimes you just have had enough and need to tell your boss how it is. Terry Funk can help.

Wow a crazy that has some good ideas!

I have been reading this site for awhile and it is definatly going up as a link on the left.

Cory sends me alot of links. He sent me this site quite some time ago and its got alot of good stuff on it. BUT its in spanish. But click random links till you get to the videos.

I want one of these plaques for my desk at home.