4.05.2001

You get the ankles, I'll get the links.

Heres a very interesting article about the National Institute of Standards and Technology. Which is a sentance I did not ever think I would hear myself say. It just doesn't sound like that cool of a place. But go read the article. Its pretty fucking cool. Its also sometimes called Uncle Sam's science wonderland!

I saw this yesterday on the SubGenius mailing list:

[SubG] A polite request

If any of you Americans happen to be on speaking terms with your president
George W, and you pass him in the hall or bump into him at the fax machine, I
wonder if you could do us all in the rest of the world a favour? What I was
hoping is, that you could suggest to him, gently but pointedly, that we
wouldn't like it very much if he triggered off a nuclear war. I'm not saying
that he is likely to do such a thing, just that, if he did happen to find
himself in a position where he has the chance to prevent disaster, he might
find it within himself to do the best thing and save us all a lot of trouble
dieing and whatnot. Just a thought...


I just find it funny

Pesky demon taking over your loved ones soul?? Demonic possesion got you down?? Well friend heres the site for you. Its the begginers guide to home exorcism!!

And then we have this nutty fucker who plans to shoot himself 30 miles into the atmosphere in a homemade rocket. I can see this one winning a darwin award sometime soon...

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HAL-15 operates 2,000 times faster than a Pentium 800 and takes up a fraction of the space. It also plugs into a 110-volt wall outlet and requires no special room or cooling system. *drool* When can I order one? Wait. Maybe I should buy food and pay bills first...

The guiness book of world records has a pretty cool website. Check it.

Do you think that Marshmellow Peeps are ushering in a age of destruction for mankind? If so then you may want to do some extensive scientific tests on the little sugary fuckers so that you can fully know your enemy.. Or just eat them or chuck them at someone else.. And this easter enjoy a nice peep pie or some peep coco.

Man. When Cory and I used to do our laundry at the laundromat late at night we allways discussed how fucking easy this would be. Just put on a ski mask. One guy with a sledge hammer, the other with a crowbar and bag. You could be in and out in under 5 minutes...

NEWSFLASH: Eskimo Pie Forced to Layoff 1,000 Eskimos
ALSO: Scientists say life could have come from space.
What the fuck? Have our scientist been eating off the crack tree again or what?

I'm not sure if its good or bad that scientists are breaking the fucking laws of physics...

Hmmm I don't know why, but its odd that I found two bathroom related articles right after each other. I guess I have no recourse but to post them since they are pretty funny anyway..

I guess some people like technology more then others. Yeah...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh fucking kids today should fucking know what the fuck a stun gun is. Fucking a!

I really like Jesse Ventura.. He is shaking shit up and doesn't care what people think when he gives his opinion.. fucking right on...

Check out Freespeling.com (with one el) I think our society would fall to shambles if we all followed this mans "guydlines" for good "speling"

You got a project you can't handle yourself? Then why not rent a genius to help you out??

Here is a very long article on Whatever Dude about the history of wrestlemania. Pretty good stuff.

You know its all comeing to a end when mobsters have their own webpage...

I just found this pretty funny comic. I think I will need to read thru the archives and shit..

Oh dear. Oh man. Oh fuck me in my sweet virgin ass. This place is the motherlode of motherfucking shineys. OH GOD...

And I would just like to say that I am OUTRIGHT PISSED ABOUT THIS. I'm pissed that slashdot would post a fucking unresearched piece of fucking FUD like this.. fucking a.. Slashdot has been INCREDIBLY lame lately..

Well thats it for me for now. I gotta get going up to girls.

P.S. sign up for the jonsnews mailing list. Its fucking bootyrific.
P.P.S. If you haven't allready please make sure to read this..

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