Dear Internet,

How are you today?

The way I started this post reminded me of the website "Love letters to the internet". That site has long been one of my favorite favorite favorite things ever on the internet. Its soooo fucking great.

Holy crap! this is the most efficient living space ever. Its crazy!

I don't remember if I have ever linked to this site that lists all of the crazy ass shit that you can dig up on google. Fear your privacy!

If you are going to have a band, you have to name it right! This page will help. I still think that some of the japanese band names are crazier though! Would you like bonus links with that?

Scott sent me this link a few days ago and I figured its only fair that I share it with you all. All like.. three or four of you so far at least.

Perhaps you would like some old school game level backgrounds for your computer! Drop a link to any site with good video game backgrounds in the comments if you have any!

I would love to work at Huh? I think it would be the greatest corporation to work at.. maybe..

If you haven't seen the fucking awesome mario brothers theme played on a guitar guy, then check him out, There was also another version with some kid playing it on a piano, but this is even better, The mario theme, on a piano, blindfolded. Bonus link for speedruns via bittorrent

Test your drunken walking skills here!

YAY! lighter tricks (previously Zippo Tricks) has had its US block lifted so once again you can go check out all the crazy ass lighter tricks there

Check this out if you are into military shit.. Pretty sweet MI-24 custom painted helicopters.

Do punk rockers cry? Oh yes.. but more improtantly, do goths have dumb pets? OHHH YESS

Celebrities: PLEASE STOP NAMING YOUR KIDS DUMB NAMES! Your starting a trend. I'm talking to you Jason Lee.

Scroll down just a little on this page and see the fucking awesome origami FAMICOM

A little something something for you family guy fans.

Sooper doods UNITE!

This is as close to a BLECH OF THE DAY as I could find for this post.. Better luck next time!

MMMMM mmmm good

I love wario ware inc mega mini games. Its addictive and insane. And it appears that the kind of gaming style it uses is catching on!

Rather reek havoc in real life instead of in a game? Then build your own PVC flame thrower!

Mario and Zelda Big Band. BAD ASS

Is it a toaster oven? HELL NO BEYOTCH! Its a PVR!

Help Hulk Hogan, Fatass He-man, and Mr. T bring down bush and fight the power!

Toyko People Packer! I think that would be a great name for a band

Dial a number and be transported to another place

Here is a leaked potential script, and some footage from the next spidermand movie.

Ever get really tired of doing your day to day bullshit? Why not just throw together a golem to do your shit for you

I know alot of you have probably considered signing up for this DVD rewinding service, but save your money! You can now buy a dedicated DVD rewinder for your home!

Ask the Tech Girl, a hot techy sexy babe answers your questions

Ever wonder how tape is made? Well, here is how!

How much do you know about spiderman? I got one wrong on this, some of them are quite hard...

Check out some of these awesome pencilmations, Some are very very very cool

Want to know about every spiderman villian EVER! then make with the clicky

Cooking with google, This is fucking awesome, I can't believe I have never seen this before.

Ok.. well I guess i am gonna go find a good nethack client and mess around with it, I have been forcing myself to try to play warcraft3 for the last three days and I have decided beyond a shadow of a doubt IT FUCKING BLOWS

Early in the morning, rising to my feet

Holy shit. Evil Dead the musical was one of the best fucking things I have EVER seen in my entire life. I fucking cried because I was laughing so hard. Seriously, If they have another run next year it is sooo worth the drive to toronto. Plus its a pretty nice city, I wish Nate and I would have had more time to explore the city, There was a pretty sweet Comic book shop next door to the theater, and Honest Eds was right down a block or two! (scroll down and look at the pictures, the place was CRAZY). Then we went and had Thai for supper before the show. While waiting for the show we were encouraged by the people going to seat us to try a nice canadian beer while we waited for the doors to open. We were seated in the fourth row, right behind the blood seats!
After the show we found our way out of city and started home, No trip would be complete without a stop at Canadian Tire, and buying some Aero Bars We got home at about 5am and all in all it was a awesome trip, allthough I was not able to acquire any Poutine

Since its monday and some of you don't have this week off. I will give you this little time waster, I have been playing it for about the last 30 minutes or so and its quite fun. You can also play this fun game, and see if you can answer "what is it?"

Poutine is just one of the many wonderful foods featured on this website.

I think I have posted some infiltration websites before, but there is allmost allways something good on them. There is a infiltration of the theatre that we went to to see the musical.

I don't quite know what to think about the new Spy Vs. Spy Mt. Dew commercials yet.. I have allways been a big Spy Vs. Spy fan, I've read mad magazine forever, and I even used to play their videogame all the time.

Well.. I am gonna go watch spiderman with my mom since she hasn't seen the first one yet, and I figure she has to see it before we see the new one on tuesday.. I really hope its good. Hellboy has upped my expectations for comic book movies even further.

Open up your mind and let the sun shine in.

Mindgame, a 2d/3d animated movie from one of the animation houses that worked on the animatrix. Seriously, I hope this gets a proper english dub because it looks like one of the best animated things I have EVER seen. Its fucking CRAZY. At times it kinda reminds me of foolycooly, Which I loved.

Scott. I am exicted to see your new bike, Does it look like this? Does it run Linux?

Here you can read about how the discovery of beer created civilization as we know it!

Heatvision and Jack! the greatest pilot show you have never seen. Its got owen wilson, jack black, and Ben Stiller. Jack Black Plays Jack, the worlds smartest man, Owen Wilson plays Heatvision, Jacks unemployed roommate whos intelligence has been put into a talking motorcycle! As great as it sounds my friends!

Do you know the difference between shit and shinola?

The power pizza! Laptop protection on the cheap!

This link is for Nathan. Lots of videos of drummers doing their thing.

Mmmmmm weird food.. ymmmmm

ugh.. welll.. I better get to sleep. I have a dr. appointment at 8.30 in the morning, then a seven hour drive to toronto to see EVIL MOTHERFUCKING DEAD THE MUSICAL!!! RAHHHHHH FUCK YEAH!!!
The greatest case mod of all time!

This is about as close as I could find for the blech of the day! Enjoy!

My pet thrashes the most!

Check out HATE BEAK and Caninus!

Ron Burgundy likes a little afternoon delight.

I have been reading this site for a couple months now. I really really dig it. If you like zombies its fucking awesome. There is plenty to read through in the journal.

Also.. check out the Kingdom of Loathing for some browser-rific rpging. Its fun to bash Knob Goblins!

Download or buy and listen to the new modest mouse alblum. ALOT! its fucking fantastic. I am soooo into it,..

Ugh.. well I gotta go get ready for werk and crap.. Vacation next week! Whee!

Guess what?

I'm back bitches!

Scott told me the other day that he still reads my archives. Well, until my old host went down he did, and I have been finding a lot of crazy stuff lately.. So I guess its time to open the doors of linky goodness.

Gmail is the buzz right now, but screw that! Get this kickass free email instead!

Good lord, I just about shat myself laughing at these edited spiderman comics. Keep hitting refresh to see more! This reminds me of those edited Dilbert comics from some time ago.... Here comes the cock boat!

Here are some pretty sweet small starwars games to distract you.

Check out some awesome ass clocks!

This guy is pretty cool, making a entire band of robots and then fronting it and touring.. Pretty cool in a noise metal kinda way..

This is quite a funny video, I rather enjoyed it.

And to bring this whole fiasco to a end for this post, your blech of the day

.....

I take it back..
This is the blech of the day!


Well, that's it for now, bedtime for me after I play a little COH and a little Psi-ops. Night night.

End of the road

ASdf.

I'm through.

I've been trying to write this post for a week or so.. mulling it over in my head.. and now that I am sitting down to actually write it.. Its just too hard.

I don't even know what all to say. The site is obviously dead.. I don't browse the interweb like I did back in the day. And even then.. I just don't get excited about shit like I did then either.. I guess mainly because I just don't really have anyone to share it with like I used to.. I just popped it open tonight to go look for something in the archives, and I saw the smacktards comment on the top post, and figured it was time to get this written. Maybe by shutting the book on this site, I can close out the chapter of my life that this was in some way the heart of.

I started this site back on October 19th of 2000. Just was a way of sharing the crazy shit that I was finding every day with my friends and coworkers in tech support. So much has changed in three years. I've gotten married, had our first kid, and (I like to hope) maybe even grown up a little bit through it all. But even though I have everything I have ever wanted in my life with my loving wife and son. Part of me feels empty and black. I used to have the most fucking awesome friends in the world. Back before I left tech support (a decision I don't think I will ever forgive myself for) my friends were really the focal point of my life. I worked with most of them every day, and hung out constantly with them. The memories I have of the times I spent with them are ones that I will never forget, or I guess forgive myself for ending either. I remember what seemed like countless hours playing video games, driving around, or just goofing around. I don't regret getting married or starting a family.. Jamie is my best friend and my heart. But its very often that I think, "man.. Cory would have really gotten that joke." or, "Geeze.. Scott would apperciate these legos more then anyone else in the world", or "Man, Joel sure was a crack-head unlike any other, good lord he could make me laugh". I don't have anyone to drive around with at 2 in the morning when I can't sleep and get milkshakes with and goof off of, or just to play midtown madness with for hours on end.

Now.. I said "used to have". I guess I still do in one sense. I would still go to the ends of the earth if one of them called out of the blue and told me they needed me. I would drop everything for any one of them and do anything they could want. But.. I don't know.. I don't know if its something that I've done and not realised it.. or what..

I guess as far as I am concerned this is my last post on this website in its current form. Who knows what I will do with it... I will definately leave it up. We'll allways have the archives. And it some small condolence to know that for at least awhile I was the number one search on google for free jetsons porn, and naked pictures of the olsen twins. I even met some pretty cool people from other places throughout it all. But this is it.. the end.. I am tired. I worked my entire sunday today for some nice overtime at work, and I couldn't sleep after I got home at midnight. I hope I got everything out in a somewhat readable manner, so that I can feel somewhat done with feeling what I have been feeling as of late. I just hope getting it all out and written will let me get over everything... To everyone, Thank you for all the great times, I wouldn't trade them for the world. I hope maybe someday there may even be some more.

Important tech news

Learn how to defraggle your harddrive.

MMORPGs

Is dark ages of camelot still the MMORPG of choice out there? Or is there something better? I have been really jonesing for some awesome MMORPG action like I used to have with cory in EQ. And the free game Pristontales just isn't doing it any more..

In Tomb Raider people ACTUALLY FLY

I know its hard to wrap your minds around this concept. But its for real. I have watched this movie and I was amazed. People ACTUALLY FLY! I have never seen this kind of thing done before in a movie. It fucking blows my mind to shit..

Just a couple updates. I started work at a factory today, its my first factory job, but its a very nice and clean factory and the work is easy as shit, and the benefits and pay are awesome. Jamie works at the same factory and on the same shift, so getting there and getting motivated to get there is easy....

I am uploading some pictures of my son so any of you that know me and are interested in seeing him can. Those of you that don't know me, probably don't give a shit.. But judgeing from the two hits a day I get, I bet if you don't care, your not still coming here..

Some flash fun for you all

Kikkoman!!

Holy shit


Bubba Ho-tep is going to be the best fucking movie ever. I know I have been saying this for over a year or more now, but it finally has a distribution deal. Good lord its going to fucking rock all of our collective asses

More movie goodness
The Rundown looks like it is going to kick a shitload of ass too. It also proves that the rock has tiny nuts and screams like a girl. I've supported the tiny nuts theory since that time that he was wrestling Chris Benoit and his balls fell out of his shorts in the middle of a suplex.
The only bad part about this movie is that I saw him giving the fucking ROCK BOTTOM in the trailer. I know that move would kill a untrained professional!

Yet another movie you can watch at work

The Matrix in ASCII

Oh man

I found this video a really really really long time ago and watched it and said what the fuck. Watch it again and have your mind blown away

IFILM - Sunday's Game

Listen to movies while you work!

Wheee
Lab360.com :: The Digital Laboratory of Axis360.com
I'm just messing with the new blogger feature built into the new google toolbar.

Neverwinter nights

I know back when I worked in tech we were all waiting for it to come out. Its been out for awhile now and I have been playing the expansion Shadows of undentide quite a bit lately and its fucking awesome.
Anyone interested in maybe playing some online or something?

Something wonderful

If you only download one video this summer. Make it matrix ping-pong.

This is the coolest shit ever. Everyone needs to see this.

Ugh

Its been insanely busy lately. My son was born on april 26th at 2:47 in the afternoon. Even though he was a month early he is very very healthy and has a huge head of hair with cowlicks all over it just like me.

We should celebrate with a huge bowl of Mr Brain's faggots. YUM. Thank god for the british. Between this spotted dick, and crop circle cereal you have a well balanced breakfast.

I can see Mankato, MI being the hot vacation spot this summer. What with the underwater city, crazy pyramids, and alien silver disks and all...

I would like you all to click on the BLECH OF THE YEAR

HOLY POOP! Here is the chance of a lifetime!

Its true. Tommy Chong MAY have sold drug accessories. But not to minors!

This is mega sweet. Its the text only version of wheres waldo!!!

I thought this was quite a funny commercial.. We never get good comercials like this over here.

Oh yes my friends. Its Vampire Lesbian Kickboxers. THE MOVIE!

Suddenly even the timecube makes perfect sense.

The word on the street

Is that cory has found that the matrix is actually good stuff.. So for him I post this super secret sneek peek at the opening on the matrix reloaded.

lets trade!

Scott gave me this link last night
I feel its only right for me to give him this link

Ooopsie.. Wrong link (hahaha blech of the day on that last one by the way).. try this one for some more really great porn clerk stories.

Oh.. and heres some furry music for you guys!

This is for scott

Here is todays blech of the day

If anyone would be into setting up a time to play some D&D or a Shadowrun game over the internet please drop a comment or a email..

Steal this post

Forget skateboards. Freestyle wheelbarrow baby! Possibly even better then fucking Heelys

I'm all about DIY. DIY rocks. You never fucking do it yourself for a fucking sex toy..

I like sweet tea as much as the next guy.. but this is a bit silly...

I've played a little battlefield 1942 and I was pretty impressed by the gameplay, but I had no idea some new cool gamer lingo was coming out of it. Combine it with old propraganda posters and you have comedy! smacktard

This is one of the wackiest conspiracy theories I have ever read..

I think its really awesome that the Canadian government has such high standards on ``group ejaculation'' and ``bootlicking''

well thats it for this one kiddies.. time to go job searching..

I still maintain what I said about waterworld in the last posts comments. So get off my kool-aid motherfuckers

Oooooooooooooo X-E just did a awesome review of presto Magix. Quite possibly one of the coolest 80's toys that I forgot about. Fuck you scott. I do remember them..

Dear whoever the fuck found my site searching for this. Fuck off. But I would imagine basically its two pieces of bread (white) with a liberal amount of shit spread between. Perhaps a smattering of your favorite condiment would help enhance the flavor. I wouldn't suggest peanut butter as that would only make the whole ordeal more stick the the roof or your mouthier (is that even a word, mouthier?). Perhaps for the consumate gourmet you should try eating about three pounds of lunch meat the day before you plan to make shit sandwhichs for you and your guests and then complete the sandwhich with some nice watercrest and mayonaise. For a nice alternative you could try a piece of cheese in the sandwhich and try toasting it for a shit sandwhich melt. Please don't post any success stories shit sandwich breath.

I fixed the archives. So feel free to check out some of the awesome oldness.

Ugh.. Its like 6 in the morning. I;ve been up since 2 fucking AM for some damn reason, and I can;t get back to sleep and its really pissing me off.. ugh..

Ok.. Now its 4 in the afternoon the next day and I am forgeing on with this post..

This was a very very creepy read. Especially if you are even a little bit clastrophobic. Much in the vein of my son peter. Do you rememer that site scott?? I kept myself awake many a creep'd out night reading this kind of shit..

I got the archives all fixed up.. I don't know if I said that allreayd or not.. but they are fixed and all is veiwable again..

Thanks scott. I had finally gotten the fuckign hot or not craze out of my head.. and then you send me this. Is my Blog HOT or NOT? I even signed up.. I hope my blog is hot..


This is pretty sweet.. I recently saw a system that looked like a nintendo64 controller with what looked like a IR port on the top if it and AV plugs and a AC plug. Well you hooked it up to your AV jacks on your TV and it played like 100 and some odd NES games and the IR port thingy was actually a lightgun to play duck hunt and hogans heros.. I wish I had a link for this because it was actually quite sweet, and a second controller hooked into the first to play two player games..

Would you like three reasons why some people should never be allowed to make flash movies?
one
two
three
there are actually 3 more in the series, but my eyes started bleeding after the first three and my head exploded.. Just change the number in the URL if you want more..Now to make up for that crap. I am going to link one of my favorite flash thingies. Please post in the comments With other wonderful flash thingies for me to enjoy. If anyone remembers the crazy one with the russian techno rap song and the end of the world and stuff.. drop a link to that because it would make be very happy
Lobster Magnet

Oooooooooooo Soft Cell phones. They kinda look like maxi-pads for robots though..ugh..

There are some pretty decent jokes here if you don't mind wadeing through some crap. Commonly misunderstood computer terms. Also check out the much funnier Hollywood films Vis Internet Subtitles. What if chat lusers and haxors did the subtites for our movies.. And of course. I had to come across furry while check it out..

Well this turned out to be quite a long post. So I am going to pinch this loaf off now and send it up for yous all to read. Enjoy and please linky link some flash goodness for me. Scott at very least I expect pusher robot linkage!

Would you like to making fuck. Berzerker!

Holy sweet ass. Ford is making a real life Tonka Truck.

Here is another good site for all your war blog news needs.

Fuck yeah. Its alllllll about Balki!

I ran across this and got thinking about the last time scott was up and he ranted about chemtrails.. wheeeeeeee

Pick up the phone booth and die. Most likely the best text adventure I have ever played..

Holy shit fuck

Theres a war going on.
But fear not. Mother fucking Optimus Prime is in the HIZZOUSE!!!!!

But.. Hey. If we lost, whats the worst that could happen?

This is a pretty decent site to check for news. The guy is browsing everything thing he can, and then condensing it all for us..

Oh yeah. You know "Get your war on" will be there for us in the coming months. Oh yes.
The one about the fucking freedom fries is dead on.

Its a bit of a relief that the war is now officially more popular then britney spears!

OK.. well thats all my dial up rattled brain will allow me to view. So.. until later.. Enjoy the links

asdf

blah

I'm trying to get my computer online. Windows XP. when i go to set up the connection the choice to use a modem is grayed out, the only option is to use a local area network.

Any of the tech support homies have any ideas on how to fix this?

Dial up blows

Blah

You know. I haven't really heard much about the segway since all the hoopla went on back in the day. But tonight I stumbled across this page where a guy is documenting his experience with his HT

wah! This is pretty nuts. Very cool though.. Check it out.. I guess..

Heres some valentines urban legends for you to enjoy via snopes.com

Having lived in a very very very snowy part of the country most of my life, I find it odd that I've never heard of snow rollers before..


Oh Yeah! "Operation: Whatever the fuck crazy-ass nate they come up with for the Iraq war" Is in the house! I still say that Get Your War On is one of the most humorous and original satires on the entire fucking internet...

Just browsing I came across this site and they have a review of one of the best and hardest to locate around here sodas in the world. Jones Bubblegum Soda! And if your ever interested in checking out some of the best soda I have ever tasted in my life get yourself a case of jones rootbeer at their site.. It blows barqs away!

This is the coolest fucking cd player ever! I fucking mean it, its insanely sweet!

Hello, My name is Scott. Well, mine isn't.. but this guy who has been wearing a name tag for the last 835 days is..

Well.. I guess thats it for now.. Not quite anywhere near my old calibur.. but...

You can have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.

God. Its been forever since I did this. I hope its more like riding a bike then doing astrophysics. Cause lord knows I am shit at both.

Lets see. First link of all I have to show you guys two musical things I have been addicted to for the past few days. Both are directed by the same guy, but hes not what really draws me to them. The first is a cover of the NIN song "hurt" (which has allways been one of my favorite songs. But this isn't just any cover. Its by Johnny Cash. And its bad ass. Every time I hear it, it kills me softly. I've been listening to alot of dark and brooding music lately which is very fitting to where I am life wise. And when I hear this song done in Johnny Cash's style, With his voice, a voice that you can tell has been through so much. Its hard to listen to, but at the same time I can't stop.
The next is a way more upbeat song. Its "can't stop" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. This song to me really hits the few good points of my life. It reminds me of why I should keep going every day. And the video is fucking incredible. I really don't know what exactly it is about the video, but I really really dig it.

So lets see. My life right now. I'm still doing the ebay thing. I pretty much live at work. I don't mean it in a metaphorical "ha-ha, gee I work alot" way. I stay in toledo all week and go without seeing my wife and our child as it swells her stomach. The two days a week I get to spend with her just make me want to fucking die when I have to say my goodbyes come monday morning. And I don't fucking have anyone in the entire fucking world to talk to about this shit. Its between fucking getting this shit out here, or fucking dumping on someone I don't know at the post office which I must say is the pinnacle of my social interaction. I work, sleep and don't do anything fucking else the entire week except play a few hours of video games here and there and think about how fucking much I miss my wife and how badly I allready love my kid and its not even here yet. And thats about the only thing keeping me going right now. The only fucking thing comforting me and keeping me from going over the edge.

Last weekend I came home and couldn't believe how much girls belly had gotten bigger and it fucking kills me that I'm not there for this. That I can't be there. I keep wondering why my life is like this. What the hell I did for this hell. And I fucking pray constantly that its not allways going to be like this. I never fucking meant it to be like this.. I wish I could think of one thing in the world thats better by my being here. because I think about that alot. And I can't fucking nail it down. As far as I can tell I'm pretty much just fucking wasting air.

well.. fuck.. thats certainly not the direction I meant for this to take. I feel in everyones debt now for putting up with my bullshit, so the least I can do is kick out a decent post after all the fucking shit.

I suggest that noone clicks on this link. But wait. It gets worse. Click here. Oh god. You had to know the furry was coming. Well.. I guess its kinda like furry.. yet.. More disturbing.

This site reminds me of that wacky guy who took pictures of his rabbit with pancakes. I don't know what the fuck that was about, nor do I ask what this is about. But.. Weird none the less. (Is it none the less or none-the-less?)

I got disturbed the other day. I was just working. And I remember the website about bob the anal fissure for no reason what so ever. I hate that my mind does that shit to me. How ever it did prompt me to send Nate to goatse.cx which is allways good for a laugh when you do that to someone thats not expecting it.. On a side note. The site I just linked isn't the same one that I went to the other day. It has the added feature of pictures and also of being one of the cooler websites I have been going to forever and have never plugged.. The Olestra prank is great too!

The Mouth Cam is one of the most bizzare things I have seen lately. Though I have been seeing many less bizzare things as of late...

Man.. I intended this post to be much longer, but I just don't have it in me. I am going home for the weekend.

No my friend

This is the best game ever.
Ever.

Oh god I am so fucking addicted.

Well, thats three of us.....

now that i know there are still people here, i may as well post something.

how bout if i play captain obvious and post a link to what will become the greatest videogame to ever grace anyone's computer screen!

discuss it amongst yourselves.....

Knock! Knock!

Hello?

Is anyone here?

It makes me sad

This makes me sad. Really Really sad.

Merry two days after christmas

Things have been kind of hectic. Tons of running around for christmas and all that. I finally have a new computer, Now I just need to build up the funds to get the internet turned back on.
Now that I finally have a really nice computer that kicks ass I need some games. If any of you knows anyplace that I can download games from (iso would be nice) quickly please let me know. I have my computer at my brother in laws for the next day or so and I would like to grab some games before I go home and back to no internet. I need some sweet games to tide me over. Please email me if you know anywhere I can get some from fast.

Hopefully as soon as I get some internet posting will return to normal for once.

Your ass is playdoh and I'm the fun factory!

Hey boys and girls.. I think everything that could have gone wrong has since I've last posted (Slightly over a month ago). I left my post at movie gallery. My computer has shit the bed (Harddrive died and screeches now). Life is poop. But.. Life is good too. Girl and I go for our ultrasound this friday so we will find out if its going to be a Jon Jr. Or a Jonina. So with no computer I have nothing cool to post. I'm actually posting from work which is helping my brother in law at his business selling games on ebay. So howc an you help me out you ask? Well. I've tried tons of things, the whole donate a dollar thing never panned out, blah blah you know how I allways beg for money.. Well this time its kind of better. Go buy stuff from us. We have games for all the major systems, and you can email us for stuff that we don't have and we can just cut ebay out completely. If you buy games through us instead of at the store or whatever then I make a little money and I can get my life in something resembling order and get my computer fixed. So please, if you play any video games buy them through us and help me out. We also have systems for sale, and everything we sell is brand new, in its factory seal. Use buy-it-now to get free shipping too.. joy!

I'll update more as I can..

-jon-

What I hate about life

I hate how that no matter what time it is, I can be flipping through the channels.. and the fucking Anna Nicole Smith freakfest is on.. and no matter what else is on.. no matter what piece of cinamatic brilliance i was watching. I can't fucking help but watch the trainwreck on my screne of Anna Nicole and fucking beat myself over the head with a board..
argh.. I fucking hate it..

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Bling Bling

YAY!! sandart!!

This is the greatest liscense plate EVER!!!

Whoops.. sorry mam.. I didn't mean to leave that spong in your rotten stomach....sorry..

Is this the most violent film ever?? They compare it to 'Crash' which was totally fucked up.. I dunno.. 'Vulgar's clown rape scene was fucked up enough for me..

a former White House chief of staff and an international investigative journalist want to know what the Pentagon knows about UFOs..and so do I dammit..


This is the best 404 page EVER...

ok.. i fixed the problem with the site..
I am trying a new method of posting.. let me know how you like it..

I bet I have a 56k penis...

someone HAS to buy me a BUN BUN mosquito alarm clock for mother fucking christmas!!!

ahhhhhnold likes YOSH!! Watch this and be disturbed... Holy shit! it gets worse.. Yosh turns him into a super hero!!.. this actually gets more and more bizaar.. it appears that this stuff isn't yosh... but it turns arnold small... what the fuck.. is this wonderland?

Rockwells 'someone is watching me'.. possibly a better halloween song than thriller?

Some mother fucking christmas cheer!

asdf my site is all messed up.. cause i'm a hippy and use absolute paaaaaaathhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssss blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hi! I'm Sally, and I'm Johnny, and black people love us!!!

say it one more time.. say you love me..

Nothing adds more flavor to more foods then the classic taste of FRECH'S Classic Yellow Mustard.

I couldn't think of a decent title for this post so I just copied some stuff off the back of this bottle of mustard that is sitting on my desk..

Check out this list of everything bart simpson has ever written on the blackboard..

Since I just started getting to watch TV again I recently have been seeing these new apple commercials, so I don't know how long they have been showing or if I should be suprised that the hotty stoner has her own fan site...
Also cause I like to rip on macs, here is a funny parody ad..


Scott.. You are going to fucking love this..

I think everyone needs cool 80s t-shirts like this kick ass Mr T one...


Learn to throw cards like a mofo and kills people with the ace of spades...

Well.. I gotta go make a run.. Hopefully I will be able to do a long post tommorow cause I have the day off on account of my getting double root canals...
FUN!!!

Howdy Ho Neighbors!!!

Guess who got their internet turned back on!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thats right kiddies! Its me!!!

I haven't been able to post the last couple days since I got everything hooked back up because girl has been very very very veyr sick and I have been putting all of my time and energy into helping her.. but.. i digress, most importantly I'm back.. and I got to say its good to be hooked up to the outside world.. I turn on the TV and Conan O'Brien is on Comedy central.. which is pretty cool.. I see a new guy hosting beat the geeks, and its all so new to me..

Ahhh well.. As you guys know I have a child on the way.. and most of you have been here through my whining and begging for money stages.. even though it really never paid off except for a few kind people.. Even when I was just asking for a buck a piece to make it worth my time that i was pouring into the site.. Well.. Now I with the kid on the way and the money situation being absolute shit now that I am only working part time.. I am resorting to hawking cool shit off on ebay.. Check out these listing for what I have up there right now, I'm selling it through girls brother and expect to see alot more newer stuff up there including PS2, Xbox, and gamecube games... so instead of asking for all of my good readers to just give me money.. how about you buy some of my stuff... But like I said.. keep checking it cause we will be putting new stuff on there daily..

but.. I have tommorow off.. so expect to see a long post tommorow boys and girls.. for now I have to get going to work

DAD!!!

Yeah!

Ok, I'll first start off by saying: Congradulations Jon and Girl! That kid is going to be so spoiled. lol.
Next I'll say: I might be without internet access here in a couple of days too :( It hurts!! aaahh the pain!!. I'm limping around on my dialup account for my old dsl account, but that will go down next Tuesday. And I really don't think there is a broadband provider covering the area of my new place.

Lastly I'll say: LAN Party at my place in 2 weeks(Oct 4th,5th and 6th.)
I just moved into a new place and I have TONS of freaking room. I don't know what to do with it all. So I decided to dedicate a weekend of it to a lan party. Basically anytime over the whole weekend is good. Plenty of room to crash if need be. I'll need to get a few tables/chairs. I have a 5 port hub, if someone could donate an extra one or two(there's some nice ones there at fng*hint hint* :)
Might not have internet access(as stated above).
Any and all welcome. Bring a friend or two. I should be able to fit around 18 ppl here(and more in the garage if needed). The place is real easy to get to. The hardest part would be loading/unloading your computer :D

Send interest, questions, comments, concerns, rants, raves and homosexual dinosaur porn to ntc3driver@hotmail.com

Postcards from the edge.


Hello internet. Have I mentioned you have such lovely eyes?
Anyway. Thinks have been busy.. I'm going to be a daddy.. thats right.. and I want to let you know that there were no furry suits involved with the conception.. Well.. I don't think it was that time at least...
But.. i digress.. Its for sure.. we had the blood test, now its 9 months of watching my wifes belly mature with our baby in it.. and then out pops a baby jon to terrorize the world afresh and continue my legacy of carnage and mayham...

anyway.. until i get the internet back at my house.. which will be when my money tree I planted last year starts to sprout I guess you will have to do without my witty and insane take on the going ons of the world.. in the mean time go to www.google.com and look up "Furry porn" and pretend I linked to it.. or if you really wanted me back go donate a dollar or to in the amazon thing and I will be everything I get through that towards getting the internet back..

Well.. more later my friends.. go watch Frailty if you get the jones to watch a good very spooky and well directed movie..

Update: Jon Is Offline

Hey guys, I spoke with Jon a few days ago and it appears he is going to be offline for awhile. It also seems that he may be a daddy after awhile. I havent confirmed if Jamie is pregnant or they are planning on it or not.

So posts may still trickle in from Jon and other contrib's, just keep an eye out. And in the mean time - masturbate for world peace.

Bling Blog

I fucking looooooooooooovvvvvvvvve mission hill.. I wish it was still in production.. go download all of the episodes off of kazaa and thank me later..

Affirmation Bullshit Generator for Sensitive New Age Guys

Check out the adventures of the ninja massage therepist.. Good for a quick laugh..

I think I have found the training program that the shover robots use to train to push old ladies down the stairs... Check this shit out.. the entire point of this game is to shove this guy down the stairs..

Check out this page for a big list of quotes from starwars that could be taken out of context..

Man.. I feel like such a total geek.. I am really considering takeing part in a NERO event.. I have never LARPed before and it actually sounds quite fun... There is a group in ohio and a group closer in Michigan... Anyone else interested in maybe checking it out?

well.. I am gonna go watch a movie and clean the house and cook breakfast.. I will be back to post again later today..

ERF

God.. I hate being awoken by the phone, and it being my work, which I despise anyways. And then haveing someone ring my doorbell over and fucking over while I hastily throw on some pajamas and try to crawl down the stairs and then after they get tired of ringing my fucking doorbell they start to pound on the door and scream like a friggin banshee. Well.. they didn't really scream, but I felt like it..

If any of you go to toledo and visit the friendlys there and have some of their "delicious" food or drink of their "refreshing" coke, I would like to you take a HUGE fucking dump in their urinal...
I went there for the first time the other day with my wife, and her brother and his wife, after we went and saw austin powers 3 and we were looking forward to a nice meal. Our waitress seated us at a booth, and their booths are tiny, I'm large but I can usually squeeze into most booths without being too uncomfortable, especially since I have been losing some weight, but their booths were really really small. So when the waitress came back, we asked if we could move to a table so I would be a little less cramped. And then she proceeded to prod my fucking stomach... And as she was moving us she annouces pretty much to the entire store "there, you should have a little more room over here big guy" and she says to the people with me "I know what its like, my daughter is about as fat as he is".
Friendlys, servinv your meal with a heaping helping of public embarassment..

This band could possibly be the greatest christian rock parody band EVER!!!!!!! Check them out for some great christian versions of your favorite songs.. With such greats as "The real Sin Saver" sung to the tune of the real slim shady...

The impotent sea snakes, The FUCKING GREATEST TRANSVESTITE ROCK BAND EVER!!! Check their site here too

Oh god this guy makes me want to buy a water pik sooooooooo badly!!!. Read his other reviews too!!!

Will austin powers be able to sell gas like a mother fucker? We will soon find out.. Spidey sure as fuck could..

I'm not completely positve why someone would desire a urkle-mobile so badly, but I guess to each his own. Its cool nonetheless..

Mr. T Pitys my webpage..

HAve you ever wondered how you could tatoo a goats ass? Well now you know!! thanks internet!!

Oh my god.. this would be even funnier if it wasn't real.. As it is though, these are definatly some of the greatest and scariest alblums EVER

Oh my god my christmas list is now complete!!! I have to have one of these!!. It says and I quote "Helps hot boning". And you know thats what I am all about..
In fact there are so many fucking great toys on this site.. Check out the rest of my liist here and here and here and here

Here is a link to that coooooooool babelizer thingy that runs a phrase through bablefish until it gets all whacked out.. fun!

The king of jews for the king of beers!

EXTREME PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Its been a year allmost now so i think its safe to post this.. Its funny as shit regardless...

Well.. Its time for me to go into my job that I hate for another 10 plus hour work day.. You guys enjoy this post, which was brought to you by the letters Z, L, and 3.

Comedy Central blew it on this one.......

I don't know how many people watched Comedy Central's Contest Searchlight last night and when ever else it was on, but it was STUPID!

I think that they were going for some sort of "reality TV" show that showes how hard it is in the tv industry or something. If you aren't familiar with the premis, here is a bit of background.

Normal everyday people send in their ideas for a tv series and you get to look behind the scenes at what actually goes on when a tv channel tries to put together a new show. At the begining you see Dennis Leary come into work all pissed off and wanting to know why the cameras are in his office and running around like a complete asshole. He very much reminded me of every single dickhead boss i ever worked for in my entire life all rolled up into one moron.

Anyway, you get to see what happens when he "forgets" that the show is actually happening and then John Stewart backs out of costarring and they have to find a replacement. Dennis and the crew are frantically calling everyone in the book trying to find someone to do this project and of coarse no one wants too.

I was buying it for a while until they showed the 10 semi finallists at the party they threw where they were going to announce the 3 who got selected from those 10.

I'm sorry, but if you are going to make what is supposed to be a "reality show" about real people trying to make it in show business, you CAN NOT use an actor that has been in a couple movies before! In the group of 10 semi finalists there was one black dude who was wearing a dashiki and at first i didn't recognize him. But they were doign this whole Real World thing where the individuals would get solo time in from of the camera and had to do a journal type thing. When he did his, it turned out to be Dwight Ewell who played Hooper X in Chasing Amy. He also has quite the filmography accourding to IMDB.

So, if anyone thought that this was all real forget about it.

Neocron Goes Public Beta

Just an update to all you fellow geeks out there. Yes, Neocron has gone public beta. Visit the neocron forums to find out where to download your copy. Test will continue through the end of the month. After testing is complete, the game will be released and there will be a 6 week FREE playing period.

So far I think this game rocks. Imagine combining DAoC with Dues Ex(ok, some ppl didn't like it, but I did :P ). and throw in a wicked economy and you have Neocron. There are some things that are not in the game right now. The stock market, vehicles and a few small things are not in the game completely yet, but there are signs of them everywhere. The hoverbikes look bad ass. The game is a little slow to start, but what MMORPG isn't.

Well, I was going to post screenies of my apartment in the game, but I can't log into my ftp account.

Download it NOW! :P

Merry Christmas!

Yay!! I'm sleepy

Wesley Willis would like you all to have a merry christmas. Rock over london! Rock on Los Angelas

Drink from the penis cup and learn all about funky cold medina..

Wheelbarrow freesyleeeeeeeee BOYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I watched Kung Pow the other day and I really enjoyed it.. One interesting thing on the dvd that I found out about was that Steve Oedekerk (besides being behind a million really funny things) was the guy responsible for the thumb wars video and will be releasing a DVD of thumb movies sometime this year.. that would fucking rock! There is actually even a clip from thumbwars hidden on the dvd... On the bad side he is also partly responsible for Juanna Man.... But I guess everyone makes some bad decisions.. Cause his next movie Bruce Almighty sounds like it has alot of potential..

Well.. its time to head off and have my employee meeting again at 8:30 in the morning.. kick ass...

asdfasd

Alive and blogging

Been really super busy the last week or so.. I had my first employee meeting tonight and had to kick some ass.. Tommorow I start with all the manager stuffs..
Hopefully I will have some more time to blog once shit gets settled down..
Since only two people were into my porn extravaganza idea how would me just selling shit like movie posters and other cool shit (and porn) on ebay super cheap be? Anyone out there interested?
well
more later..

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I GOT MAIL!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

Crank Yankers is now one of my most favorite TV shows EVER

Only two people are interested in a porn extravaganza contest?
How about some kind of other contest?

You best check your feces!

One of the greatest apple ads EVER!

I got the funk in my trunk..

And I just had to take a shower to get it all off of me...

Man.. Thats pretty gross...

So.. Since I last posted I have gotten my own store to manage.. I will soon be the manager at the Hillsdale Movie Gallery.
MGA Inc Happens to be americas largest hard core sex video rental chain.. Which you have no idea how much that excites me..

Christ! If I had knowen that pirating software was going to get my fat ass sucked into my computer then I would have never started years ago.. OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

How much is your poop worth?

Which Torture method am i?

Ooooooooooooo Shiney Shiney Shiney flash!

Its comforting to know that last week we allmost got assfucked by a asteroid..

I just put in my order for my robotic exoskeleton, my budget rail gun home kit, and 100 henchperson uniforms. I have to save up for the secret lair though... I think I will be going for the orbiting space station... All avaible at villian supply dot com
Maybe you don't want to go for the full gusto of ruling the world.. check out henchjobs.com and get in at the ground floor..

Find out the science behind all of your favorite superheros.. How could spidey really walk up walls, how can supes leap over tall buildings in a single bound?

TEst your science IQ

Check out this site with tons of bad movie physics.. Fun shit..

Fuck that job... A very very good site about the fucked up-ness of finding a job now-a-days

Now.. I need your input.. every one of you fuckers reading this I need your honest input and I need your commets in the comment thingy at the end of this post.. Who would bite on a contest or two? I have several ideas. One free/cheap for some pretty cool shit.. the other slightly more expensive (I'm thinking a few bucks donation per ticket) for a HUGE ASS STASH OF BRAND NEW UNOPENED PORN DVDS and VHS and generally cool movie shit.. I dunno.. Maybe something similar for non-porn movies (vhs and DVD) too... Just trying to come up with some ideas to keep shit cool here and keep people interested...
Please drop a comment at the end of this post and let me know...

I gotta question

How do you guys feel about my posts now? Do they stand up in quality to the oldschool JonsNews?
Sometimes I feel like I am running out of words and its just link link link.. Thats why I have to take breaks sometimes because it seems to me like my old posts would allways have tons of talking and stuff and links too.. I dunno..

It looks like even Kevin Bacon is involved with terrorist activity!

Somewhere deep down inside it bothers me that someone found my site searching for this..

Woah! Its porn star action figure!

Have any of you heard about this diskT@2 yet? Oh man.. I just figured out that if you pronounce it its disk tatoo.. sweeeeeeeet

Hmmm Is this shit true about a jpg virus?

Weird clips of sentances heard in passing. Cool shit..

Oh man.. is it?? could it be?? the weirdest fetish I have EVER FOUND EVER!! OH YES!! OH HELL YES!! This crazy MOFO apparently has a quicksand fetish!!

Diary of a cat/diary of a dog

check out this crazy cat flash video.. it borders on freaky..


OMFG!!!! PETERPAN AND TINKERBELL BROKE UP!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEAR GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Oh yeah.. and please do yourself a favor and check out the PixyFriends page...

This is quite possibly the best way to make soup ever!

This is BY FAR one of the weirdest music videos I have ever seen..


This is quite possibly the worst fursuit that I have ever seen.. I don't know how someone could think he is going to get some freaky fursuit sex in this one..

Bible Sex Facts - yes folks.. it is ok to nail you wife with the old dildo! God wants you to...

All of the worlds conspiracys wrapped up in one easy to read gif..

Looks like you'll be able to pick yourself up a flying car for only about 50,000 dollars soon..

Now you too can cook with Christopher Walken!!


Here are the lyrics to all the great demeted songs that I (and I would imagine some of you) used to listen too.. Fishhead.. fishheads... BOOT TO THE HEAD!

I think this is the coolest fantasy league that I have ever seen.. Pick your favorite fugitive from justice and score points!

Welp, I'm gonna get going and play some baldurs gate before worksi and maybe watch rollerball too.. later.. enjoy da links.

You'll be selling books at the airport..

I know their used to be this crazy site that did all sorts of crasy shit that scott used to be pretty entertained by.. I think he will like this one..


Heres some naked magic for you:
Did you know that there's a small tube that runs from the uppermost point of the inside of the foreskin, through the body cavity, and out the intestine? It's true!
This can be demonstrated -- nothing up my sleeve! -- by tucking a small handkerchief up inside a foreskin, massaging gently, and then removing it from the rear. To demonstrate -- and prove that no sleight of hand is involved -- the magician AND his lovely assistant are 100% NAKED for the entire trick!

Last night the TV station TRIO was showing a uncensored version of the Martin Scorsese Movie 'The Last Temptation of Christ'. It was my first time ever watching it and I have to say it was very much worth staying up and seeing. With a all star cast such as Willem Dafoe as Jesus of Nazareth, and Harvey Keitel as Judas it was a seriously kick ass movie. Willem Dafoe was allso awesome in the recently released Boondock saints. Its also odd that at the bottom it says that if you liked this movie you should see Donnie darko. I am obsessed with Donnie Darko. I have seen it about 10 times in the last couple months.. its one of the greatest movies ever.. I mean.. How many movies does the IMDB list in 5 different generes. And can you think of any movie ever with a giant rabbit named Frank from a alternate dimenions/the future that is predicting the end of the world? I didn't think so... And the soundtrack kicks my ass repeatedly up and down the street..

We have allready seen the bangbus. Where they go pick up guys to have sex with chicks.. well.. what about the baitbus.. Where the tag line is what does it take for a straight guy to go gay?

Deep sea creatures have allways interested me. I had never heard of the " Vampyroteuthis infernalis" (vampire squid from hell) until i read this article though...

Little did I know that all these years when cory was sticking his finger in our cats ass and going "bloop" he was actually making the mating call of Cthulu

I've been reading the AS&S catalog for a really really really long time.. its great to see i'm not the only geek out there that digs this shit.. Read about Matt from X-E's recent trip to their store!

Its the action figure you all have been wanting for years.. I know everyone reading this is going to go out and buy this super awesome kick ass figure!

Take pictures of your tech pit and send them in and compare your desk mess to everyone elses...

I need to talk about something that gives me a complete and total boner. I have a thing for caves and underground civilazations. I love reading about the green childern of St Martins land, or the theories of the Hollow Earth Organization. But finding out that there is actually a civilzation budding under Moscow kicks ass!!!. But my Fascination doesn't end with just caves and spelunking. I also love reading about urban infiltration and exploration. I also like the modern ruins site as well...I am reading the Minneaplis Drain Archive right now too and its really quite good!. I also dig on Centralia, Pa, and no mention of centralia is complete without a link to my friend Bnibs site about it. And once you've read through these sites (Or not as your prediliction may be) Check out the hub for the webring for tons of more sites...


Oh god.. I just ran across these crazy dilbert comics.. I think I spit SODA out of my nose the first time I read this shit..

100 holes!!!!! Some hot.. some wet.. but all gaping for your viewing!!!

BUT!! I DON'T WANT TO HURT BUGS BUNNY!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

OOOOOOOOOOO KARTOO IS THE COOLEST SEARCH ENGINE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! SHINEY!!!!!!

The giant keyhole nebula finger of friendship!!!!!

'Reckless' Ned Kelly was really a bulletproof australian outloaw.. Not just another wonderful Yahoo Serious movie...

Just in case you guys are all thinking that I am forgetting you I got your BLECH OF THE DAY right here

Monkeywire.. Allmost as great as cowblog

Adult webmaster school!!!

Ninjas shut down local highway!!!

Manson or Tyson?? You decide!!

Well.. I started this post at 5 AM this morning.. Its 2:49 in the evening and I gotta go get ready for work.. enjoy the links lads and ladies..

Two long slow naps later

I'm back...

Fuck the sims. Its the osborns..

I am a evil genius. Check out some more fun quizes here..

Chat pranks are great.. Check out what this "whacky 14 year old girl" chats about.. Like having Zeus' baby!

This one goes out to sam and eli wherever in this crazy world they are.. Not that I think they are reading my site since I started it after both of them left..

Check out this guys unusual fortune cookie collection..


Fuck PGP for encoding your secure emails.. code them in spam!!!

me and my monkey in thirty-two locations

Oh boy do I ever have some weird shit for you boys and girls out there.. How about:
Iron Chef PORN!!!
Sesame Street porn????
Oh dear lord. Garfield porn too!!!

Well.. I am going to cut this one short and head to bed.. look for another post tommorow before work...

I am going to make a old dirty bastard bomb and drop it from the wu-tang plane

I'm about fucking sick of hearing about the dirty bomb.. What we need is a good crew with some soap..

Excuse me.. I can't hear you.. I seem to have a arachnid in my ear...

Its good to see someone out there is keeping the old crazy hostess comic ads alive and out there for people to view.. some great stuff... Also check here for a little history about the ads..

"Our life-sized cocks are hand painted and include enough meticulous details to fool even the most ardent cock fancier. And all our cocks come with a lifetime guarantee! If they ever stop standing up you will get a full refund!"

I don't care what you say! Its soda!! Pop is a fucking noise.. Pop is what my knees do.. "Excuse me sir, would you care for some refreshing BOING??"

I never realized the Nuge kicked so much ass.. Ted nugent says some incredibly intelligent things in this interview... He even has me wanting to start hunting again...

Oh yes friends its once again time for the 7th Anal Kris Kross Day.

Now you can get that little dangly thingy in the back of your mouth pierced!! YAAAAA

The big list of goofy names!

OHHH I so want the perfect sideburns. Speaking of sideburns a week or two ago some crazy fella came into the store and was all tattooed up like like Manson on his arm, swastikas on his forehead and CATS WHISKERS AND EYELASHS AND SIDEBURNS TATTOOED ON!!!! it was really super creepy.. and he was looking for old black and white movies. But still not as disturbing as the guy who came in awhile ago looking for the R Kelly porn....

Its an orgy at the sims house. Sounds like something cory and I would have done back in our sims torture chamber days..

PORN FOR THE BLIND!!!

I had no idea there was so much bondage in the comic books

Here are some quick superhero fantasies for you too

Umm I gotta go.. A scantily clad girl just walked by the computer room.. I'll post later after my nap...

Milking anal sacs for fun and profit

I feel bad for stickfigure warning man. He has the shittiest job in the world...

I allways had this odd idea that I would love to live in a grain silo.. I think it would be the shit. Have like a 6 story house. And some of those suckers are kinda big so you could fit a couple rooms on some of the floors. But I'm not that great with heights so maybe a missle silo is a better idea...

OH MY SWEET ASS THIS IS THE COOLEST TRANSFORMER VIDEO EVER!!! WATCH IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its the flugeldufel Techno Teddy!!

I bet each and every one of you guys is out there wondering "jeeze.. If I was in rainbow bright world which character would I be??" I know I spend my days and nights thinking about it.. So go here and find out..

Accidental video game porn RULES!!!

Oooooooooo Behold the gourdspeaker!!!

This is about the only origami that I am capable of making. I could never stretch my mind around the erotic origami here.

OH GOD!! COMPUTER TOO CUTE!! MUST RESIST BUYING!! ARGGGGGGH

I know I got down on superhero movies yesterday, but I can't help but love em'. I mean.. I'm still a kid at heart and nothing thrills me like a good comic come to movie.. Hell I will probably even watch the wondersuck twins movie.. But. Click here for all the hype on all the great superhero movies coming soon..

Well.. I am off to go watch a couple movies and play some medal of honor before work.. tally ho!

One link to rule them all, and in boredom bind them.

Stare in wonder and amazement at the JAPANESE ASCII PENIS HEADED CAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 So great it makes me want to jizz onto the ascii moon!!!

WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THATS GOOD DOES THERE HAVE TO BE GHOSTBUSTER PORN?!?!?!?!?!?

We are the corkdolls.. I dunno why.. I just find it odd...

OH MY GOD!!! I think I found the answer to all my health problems!!! Make sure to get a good look at the pictures!!!

I was talking to this robot online and I asked what a penis was, and it told me that it was the male organ used to excrete waste and for sex. I then asked it what sex was, it told me that Freud said that sex was the mathmatical urge repressed. So I asked what math was and it told me that it was a service that catholics went to... So I guess that the penis is basically a tool you use to pray with...

Buckaroo Bindlestiffs Wild West Gender Bender Jamboree!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!!!!!!!!!!!

You finding ling lings head?

KiKis House of erotic pets!! Fun stuff!!

MY WEBSITE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!

WHY DOES MY DOG SCOOT?!?!?!?!?!?

jeffgoldblumiswatchingyoupoop This is definatly something I could get behind.. The only documented sightings are in ohio too!! Hmmmmmmmmmm

Hmmm This upcoming TV show seems like it has some potential, if the WB doesn't kill it.. I just got done watching the trailer and it certainly does have some potential...

Well.. Its over.. The reign of good comic book movies is done for.. Thanks hollywood for killing my dreams.. We need this like we need a new AirBud movie...

This site is quite possibly one of the best places to go on the internet for gay robot information!!!

Here is a very interesting way to spruce up the view from your window...

Shit.. well its time for work.. Tally Ho and all that good stuff.. Be sure to check out the eclipse tonight at sunset..

Flying naked men and more.

You gotta love crazy ass fads in Japan. And here you thought negative ions werent good for anything.

Is mobile phone text messaging getting out of hand ? *Looks at message on cell phone* ""Plez send help quick, man with club chasing me on the ice flow."

Puberty at 30,000 feet in this new X-Box ad that got banned because 136 viewers dont like seeing people getting shot into graves at mach 1[Real Media File] !

And if you are looking for a good stunt team to amaze your friends at your parties that can not only do a 3 and a half flip over fire, but can also spread the word of God, dont miss these guys. These and other fun Jesus odities can be found at your local Jesus Museum.

You need your Clit Stimulator balanced and installed ?

You remember that nice old teacher in school who always had a spare pencil for you cuz you were a total loser and forgot yours all the time ?

I always wanted to read a poem with the word coccyx in it.

I miss naughty Napster Land. They had a cool logo.

And to complete this little romp, the page I use as my homepage !

I enjoy falling over and punching myself.

As I sit here in pain and cruisin for new wallpapers, I thought I would drop in and post a couple of links.

This isnt your typical cute kitty wallpaper.

And this link is for you Madrat =) The X-Box has been hacked.

And to finish up, if you want to get into some serious wallpaper, then cover your actual walls !

Okay off to watch the old Batman on TV Land and try to get some sleep.

Saturday afternoon and I stink ...

Well dear readers, it is Saturday afternoon and my body is producing a horrible odor, so I am going to jump in the shower - but first some links for you to enjoy !

I have listened to streaming radio stations via Shoutcast off and on since it began, and found some rather good ones. One in particular is WolfFM. Now if you want all the cool songs that streaming stations play, download this handy ripper plugin for WinAmp and piss off the RIAA !

And to enjoy these cool new tunes and all audio from your PC snag these speakers. I am not a big fan of Logitech products and they have seem to overrate these (like saying there is a 400w sub when its really only 188) but for the price/performance you cant help but want to step up into these THX 4.1 certified speakers. Oh and buy a set for me.

Let's face, the net is weird. Hell JonsNews is sort of a Nexus for the strange of the net, so why stop now. BEWARE OF FISHULA !

And now I will wrap up with some quick game links. The Sims Online interview. And since I got an X-Box now, I am just jizzing over everything X-Box, I just dont know if Nyko's new controllers will dry the jiz on your hands or just the sweat [pdf]. Oh and if you suck and have a PS2, they have these controllers for you too.

And I leave you with a new screenshot from the upcoming X-Box RPG: Project Ego !

Just a quick post ...

Check out this new radio station in Seattle ! It only plays 7 seconds of a song and gives the number of it on so you can look it up on their website. I am listening to it now and ... uh its very strange.

Now that I have an X-Box I am so in love with it. And especially glad I waited for the price to come down and I saved $100 on it. hehe It seems Microsoft has some major cool plans for it =)

And finally ... go and download Spider-Man The Movie 2 !!!

Not going to let the fun end ...

I was going to open this store as soon as I had enough money saved up.

Hey bartender ! Gimme a Satan's Semen !

Drink your Satan's Semen and lock yourself indoors, GTA3 is out for the PC ! Also I am so glad the XBox is down to $200 cuz I want STEEL BATTALION !! Look at the fucking controller for it ! Speaking of controllers, if you dont like your plat's controller, check these guys out ! They have some fat ass Marvel game stuff too =)

Man first the British took away the people's guns, now look you cant even keep your underwear !

Want to get on Battlebots but are too lazy ? Well then turn your laptop into a fucking robot to get you a beer.

Or if you are the ambitious type, find a schmuck with a big yard and build your own life size Millenium Falcon !

I am going to sign off now and install Internet v2.0 everywhere near me because they just set a new speed record, 625 megabytes over 7608 miles in 13 MOTHER FUCKING SECONDS !!! OH GOD !!!!!!!

Episode 2

I just got back from the theater and ... WOW !!!

This one makes Episode 1 look like a Saturday morning cartoon. But now after watching this one, I see how important much of Episode 1 was to build a foundation to go off of. The love story was done very well, but seemed a bit rushed. The fight scenes were off the page. In the latest trailor where you see a bunch of Jedi in the arena getting attacked from all sides was simply astounding ! And most importantly you begin to see how destructive Anikan allows himself to become when left unchecked.

Just remember ...

Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

And Yoda will kick anyone's fucking ass !

His fight scene in Jabba's palace with Jango Fett rocked ! He was flipping all over the place and going CRAZY and Jabba kept swatting at him like he was a fly. I still dont understand why they killed off Obi Wan. And it wasnt a "hmmm he might have lived type thing", he was cut from shoulder to groin in half -- So I guess the later Obi is a clone. Speaking of Clone's, the clone troopers themselvers were bad as fuck too. My favorite scene in the whole movie though was when Darth Sideous tried to instruct Jar Jar in the ways of the Dark Side - Jar Jar did this little Jedi type flip thing and landed and his pants fell down and then they just show Darth Sideous slapping his forehead. It was great ! BTW - FUCK YOU JON, None of this last part happened !! LOL !!