Happy Birthday to JonsNews

Oh yes kiddies. It was exactly one year ago today that cory and I made the first posts. (Though the actual first 3 days has been lost somewhere. But trust me on this one) We spend the night messing around with layouts. Its all come a long way since then. I went thru a phase where you could choose your own layout. Went thru some shitty layouts. Some good. I had a menu system that loaded and took about a minute to load on DSL. Links. Four whole emails from people who were reading this site. One enemy (he put down my site and said all sorts of shit.. But I can't seem to find the post that it all happened in.). A YMCA shower story. LOTS OF LINKS. Some disturbing chat logs. Two message boards. Three counters. A Madonna rant. Lots of failed ideas. Some that I thought were genius and no one else ever did. Lots of furry/plushy porn. What may be my longest post ever. A commenting system that is only recently actually getting some people using it (Keep that shit up). And hopefully a fan or two...

And as scott will testify, Out of this last year came the best quote ever.
And click here for the post that caught me the most flack..

So be sure to check out the archives for the past year of goodness (Just don't use the comments on the posts there cause I will never see them.. Use the comments on this post). I guess if I had to sum up everything I have done on the site it would be what i've said so far.. Its all been fun and I hope that you all just keep reading, and if you enjoy it spread the word...

So.. Onto what I hope will be the longest post EVER!!!!!!!

I have just a couple WTC links to put up here first. Then we will get to the good stuff...
Here is an account of a phone call made from the plane that came down over PA..
Here are pictures taken as people evacuated the WTCs
You would have to be a fucking idiot to do this...
Did terrorist try to shortsell stock before the attack happened?
Here is a site debunking the latest rumors that are going around about it.
War is looking more and more likely. If we go here are our weapons that we will be using... And I don't know if this is verified or not.. But its not a good sign..
And if you webmaster a site.. No matter how big or small go to corys site and grab one of his banners to show your support... Also be sure to check out his online store. Hes not making a dime on it. So there are plenty of ways to show your support.



ok.. I think thats about it for that.. Wait. Speaking of support.. Micheal Jackson and many other famous Music people plan on making a tribute song. Its cool what he is doing.. But you cannot deny how freakish he looks in this picture...


Is it ok for christians to play D&d??? By jack chick. Hes a better christian then you...

Nasubi.. The greatest TV show ever???
Yasmine Bleeth Facing Drug Charges
An 80-year-old man has been arrested on charges that he was having sex with cows

And then we have disturbing bunny balancing pictures...

For such great things as the butter stick and the cat tounge soother be sure to check out the International Chindogu society!

And of course this being the huge event that it is I have to post a BLECH OF THE DAY

The page you are looking for is too stupid.
This is definatly a link you don't want to click..
Comission a ninja to take care of anyone that may be bothering you..
Wesley Willis really whips the donkeys ass.. Now you can too...
Study reveals.. Babies are stupid..
Trading dead squirrels for sex.. What a great setup..
Mullets galore!
I bet you will.. A internet gameshow??
HAHAHAH the steven hawking dance! Allmost as good as Mc Hawking..
Is Micheal Jackson too ghoulish to make a comeback?
What happened to those whacky kids from saved by the bell?
911 operators are sworn to keep a straight face and take all calls seriously, even when someone says, "Yeah, there's a moose running around out here with an Easter basket stuck around his neck."
Ceiling Fan baseball!!!!!!!!
Are there really alligators in the NY sewers?
This was my second choice for the blech of the day..
I wonder if they know where my other boyscout sock is....
DoXmen. The gay X-men.. Fear Vulvarine!
Thor! Rock Warrior supreme!
Get your haiku on daily!
If I was a giant and had a magnifying glass I think I would be doing something like this..
Dissect a Cow eye!!! FUN!!
Woman arrested for dumping a ton of vomit!
Would you like to be a Statue Molester ???
And for a final link I think this is one of the coolest sites ever.. I have mayo in my hair as we speak...

Friday night we went out with a couple of friends.. Actually it was going to be two seperate things.. Girl was going to hang out with one of her friends that just had a baby, and I was gonna go play D&D for the first time in forever.. But the game ended up never happening, but we did all watch spy kids which was WAY better then I expected.. Weekend before last we watched memento which was FUCKING INCREDIBLE...
I had a little bit of a hard time keeping up.. But when it hit the last scene I was left completly floored.. If nothing else then by the awesome excution of the film...
And then saturday we went up to girls brother and sister in laws house to stay the night.. We played video games and had a few drinks.. Until I lost at cards and had to take a shot of Goldschlager.. As I posted before this stuff is evil and I got FAR to incredibly drunk on it last time Nate and I were together.. So even the smell of cinnimon makes me sick to this day. But the night before last I took a shot of it and projectile vomited right beside girl all over their walls... I don't think I will ever do shots again..
We did end up watching evil dead and army of darkness.. I wish we had gotten evil dead2 instead.. But evil dead 1 is still fucking awesome...

Lets see.. I haven't really put many of my thoughts up here lately.. Nothing like I used to.. But. I guess I have been kind of shutting that part of myself out.. I've been having some troubles with depression.. I go to see the Dr. wednesday.. I hate my job.. I have a hard time leaving the house.. But.. I guess sometimes it helps a little to talk about it...

the fair was in town and girl and I went for short periods. Friday friday when we went to have a supper of fair food there was a barker there with a HUGE bicycle moustache and he talked like a monty python character.. It was very sweet...
And we played the mullethunt game.. Thats allways fun... Spotted a TON of mullets.. I guess this isn't really the longest post ever.. But its close..

Basically thats about it.. I have loved every second of doing this site.. I've learned tons and look forward to it being fun and shit in the upcoming years.. I guess this means I'm around to stay.. Hope you all stay with me..

P.S. I decided that the archive system that I used to use is totally fucking unmanagable with windows. It was easy when I could telnet out and do it.. Its a fucking pain in the ass with windows.. Thanks Bill... So for now use the default blogger archives.. Its not pretty.. But its managble and it has it all there.. The old archives are still in place.. Just not up to date.. Also be sure your playing around on that side menu all the time as I constantly add stuff to it...

P.P.S. Strike that last comment about the archives. The bloggerchives are brokey worse then the normal archives.. Just hold off on the browsing of the archives for about a hour or so. I'll edit this post when they work...

Edited by Jon - Ok.. all should be working now.. If you see any problems or bugs please email me with them

Jack the Ripper!!!

oh yeah. i was just sitting here, bored off my ass. and trying to relax after playing some undying (i still have goosebumps! if you don't own the game now, get it now), and i head on over to darkhorizons. i find me a trailer for "from hell". a new movie with johnny depp about jack the ripper.

i haven't found anything else about the movie yet, no official page or anything, so i am just going to give you the trailer. hi res, and lo res.

enjoy!

[Never forget! Dec 7th, and now Sept 11th]

This title is intentionaly left blank

The mourning is wide spread. Even at places you wouldn't expect there are messages of grief up..

A business man out there is offering a huge reward for Bin Laden.

Here is a flash analysis of the flight path of the planes on their way to NYC

I think this is the most bizzare picture I have see of the explosion so far...
Its not a doctored picture.. You can see it in the video here..

And for those of you who responded to that hoaxed Nostradamus prediction.. Here is a real prediction.. Very odd... Look at the middle CD...

Not really much else coming out at this point about it all.. Just do what you can to help..

On the other side of things..

Here is a really good and long Kevin smith interview. A transcript of him on politically incorrect, and a little nugget I found on IMDB that I find interesting..

Check out this really cool online 3d pong game!

The Ritterversal studios is a lofty project trying to put the great john ritter into some of the best movies ever!

I heard from my good buddie scott that I have a read that wants pictues of men naked.. I guess there are plenty of girls here.. So I will post a link to Naked News again.. Because it recently added male news casters...

I know I'm terribly lazy. Is it wrong that I want one of these..

I think if I ever went to someones house and they served me a drink with this in it I would be sad..

The Murrette. The greatest invention for females ever?

I know scott likes to use EBay alot.. Heres a hint for him..

Is bobby fischer hiding out on the internet playing games??

Ooooooooooooooooooooo GO look at the new Aibos. They are super cute!!!!!!! More info here
Everything I know I learned from First person shooters..

Go here to find out your RPG alignment

Well.. I hope if nothing else I have distracted you guys from any thoughts you had and maybe even brought a small bit of leviety into your lives..

The Net lends a hand

Let me preface this by saying that since I have altered my site. For now I am posting here at Jonsnews. If you are a webmaster or know a webmaster, you can visit my site and download some of the banners or buttons I have made to help show unity in this tragedy.

Now with that said, I would like to share the following:

The following quatrain has been circulating the Internet after the WTC bombings.

In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
two brothers torn apart by chaos,
while the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb.
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning.

It is NOT by Nostradamus it is a HOAX ! Please share this message and this link as we don't start spreading even more unnecessary fear.
*edited by jon - Heres another good page about the hoax.. I meant to post it with the rest of my links yesterday. *
Amazon.com has set up a Red Cross Donation Site. And I am pleased to say that my money is involved and I hope if you have some extra money that you will too.
Amazon is reporting that there has been 58663 payments thus far totaling $1,852,336.55 !!!

PayPal also has a similar site setup and is reporting 6,909 members who have donated $285,667 thus far.

Even if it is only a dollar, every dollar can help. At this time the Red Cross is reporting that there has been enough blood donated thus far, but there may need more later on.

Dial 1-800-Give-Life to find the nearest area to give blood and if you want to donate money directly to the Red Cross you can dial 1-800-Help-Now or visiting their site for more info. Please be aware that they are experiencing heavy site traffic at this time.

There is a partial list of the passengers lost in this disaster. American Airlines has a similar site up that is a bit more detailed.

And at home let us not direct our hate, anger and rage where it does not belong. Also in areas (such as where I am in Ohio) who saw gas prices skyrocket some 250% in some cases, I think its time that we start boycotting these gas stations and only visiting the ones who kept their prices stable. This price gouging is disgusting. (Notice in this picture that only the Sunoco station's price was up.)

And as always if you have any information please pass it along to the FBI.

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it...; always." Mahatma Gandhi

I don't even know where to start...

Well.. I do.. First of all my heart and my (and girls) prayers go out to every one of you affected by this tragedy.. Its hard to come up with funny links and things to say in the wake of this, though I have some useful links first. I won't be posting any news about this.. If you want news check out cnn or news.yahoo or salon.com.

First off this site is devoted to helping any of you that know someone that was in NYC at the time and your trying to find out if they are ok. The site is pretty flooded right now.. Keep trying and you'll get it.. It also links to the other big sites trying to get families back together.. Here are the other sites too. Prodigy, Disaster Message Board, NY.com,

A recent poll shows that 86% of americans are ready for war...

Heres a huge archive for those of you who haven't had a chance to see video or pictures of the attacks yet.. Or if you just want to see more..

Supposedly the feds are using this to push carnivore..

Things are a little nuts around here.. Last night there was a pretty big panic.. Gas prices in Ft. Wayne Indiana went to 7.50 a gallon..... By 8 O'clock my town had allmost completely emptied all 6 of its gas stations..

Text of Bush's Statement About Attacks

And to wrap up that this portion of my post here are the paypal, and amazon donations sites if you have a couple bucks to spare... And find your local red cross and give blood!

----------------------
Even the funny sites don't seem to bring humor on this day.. But I guess life must go on so I'll throw some non-serious links up here

Heres the big list of excuses to use when you get caught browsing the web..

I didn't know that bruce campbell had a book out.. I need to check out his site more.. Read this interview too!

I'm sure you've all heard of the king james version of the bible. Be sure to check out the Rick James version of the bible.

Its good to know that the universe may turn into jelly at any second..

Ok.. well thats all I have for you guys.. More later or tommorow or something..

Due to the tragedy that occurred today I have made the following banners and
buttons for posting on your sites.

Please use them to link to a useful site such as
www.redcross.org and if you would like,
link back to this page so others can share these graphics, but that is not
required.

To save these images, right click on them and choose the "Save As" option. 
Below the pictures is an example HTML source code for posting these with a link
for anyone new to HTML

 

Example HTML source code:

<a href="http://www.redcross.org">

<img src="tragedybanner.jpg" width="468" height="60">

</a>

This code will work as long as you place the image in the same directory as
your page.

If you have any questions or comments about these graphics or have a specific
request for more, please e-mail me at
clykins@woh.rr.com

Thank you.

what is happening in the todays world?

well, what can i say?

i'm not going to do like all the news channels and keep repeating what has already been said a million and one different times. i think i feel like everyone else in the matter. i'm in a state of shock as to todays events.

i feel terrible about the trade center. all those poor innocent people who had to die because some psycho has a stick up his ass. my heart goes out to all of them, and their families. i also pray that they get all the people who are trapped in the basement out soon.

but what boggles my mind is that they were able to hit the pentagon.

i served in the navy, and i don't have to tell anyone that the pentagon is THE symbol of all that the us military is. we discussed this at work, and pretty much came up with the same opinion. if who ever did this wanted to do something to bring the military to its knees wouldn't hit the pentagon.

true, the pentagon is a very important building to the military, but if its destroyed the military can still survive. i think they hit it for another reason.

these people wanted to get a message across to the world. they wanted everyone in the world to know that they are not afraid of anything. the balls that it would take to pull something like this off don't come on alot of people. these guys wanted to show they were ready to start some shit.

i only hope that once they find out for sure who did this, they find them and blow the fuck out of them.

there is another thing that really has been getting under my skin today also.

the fact that the FAA has shut down air travel in the US. there are no aircraft in the sky over the united states for the first time in aviation history.

this really sunk in on my way to work today. when you drive around, you might look up and see a jet or two everyone once in a while, but not all the time. but today, knowing that there were no planes at all in the air is one of the creepyest feelings i have ever had in my life.

it was just eerie.

to all those whos life has been forever changed to day, my heart goes out to you. i would love to say that everything will be ok, and time will heal these wounds. but after this, i'm just not sure. the world as we know it is going to be alot different after this horrible expierence.

good luck to all of us.

Wowie wow wow wow

I had a shitload of hits yesterday and I feel bad cause I never updated for all of you to come and find good stuff.. But I promise this will be a super dooper good update and make up for it..
First off I have The Kevin Smith Nude Scene Extravaganza Joey Lauren Adams rocks ass

Then I have here for you the Chivas Charity auction. The auction off totally unatainable things.. Its fucking cool

My good friend scott should be home from vacation any day now I think.. To celebrate I was going to post this site for him.. But scott.. I'm not trying to make fun of you.. Your kinda like my hairy brother... And scott.. I know you remember this! The Kevin smith page was a welcome back for you as well! And to top it all off. I know that transformers are one of your most dearest memories from the 80s.. So I gotta post thsi for you!!!!!!! I wonder if scott had KEDs back in the 80s?? But seriously.. I think both scott and cory will get a good kick out of this site..

This is about the most complete Gilligans island site in the world.. Its pretty sweet. I used to love that show..

Cory needs to update his site..

Check out BossMonster.. A fucking great flash game site.. Time wasters RULE!


I read about this disease when I was much younger.. there are other variations of it too like where you can taste colors.. I think if I ever had a rare disease I would want this one..

I'm thinking of making a potatoe gun again.. I used to love my spud launcher... hmmmm

Syed Ali believes Balki from "Perfect Strangers" is a superhero. He allmost has me convinced...

This is quite possibly one of the funnies things I have ever read in my life.. thanks go to cory for sending it to me!

Oh god.. Thanks internet.. I had never though of chess as sexy before now.. Argh...

What's worse than an evangelical Christian speaking in "Olde English" dialect that'd make an Everquest player cringe? His friend pretending to be a pirate! Worse than that? They make techno music.

Todays BLECH OF THE DAY is a really great site called the fart farm.. how can you resist a touching tale of anal dissolution called "Torture Loaf?"

We're from Wisconsin and we want to Swing with You! He's balding and looks like he plays D&D, she weighs 250 pounds and eats M&Ms by the handful - the perfect sexual fantasy!

There is not alot I can say about this site.. In fact I think this picture about sums it up.. (for added fun be sure to check out the movies, and of course the tutorials too..).


I think this is the reason furby got so big here in the US
Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggllllllllllypuff
I know you all totally love me now.. Oh yeah.. ALF PORN....

It's a beginner's guide to bondage. Not sure which end of the whip should go up your ladyfriend's ass? How exactly does one go about using a ball-gag anyway? Keep accidently killing your sissy bitch? Well, this is the page for you!

I get alot of searches looking for "ponygirls" I think I finally figured out what they are...

A Japanese art site that has images of anime-style girls getting their noses... er... violated.

Wanna know how to take your first enema? It's here. Wanna know how to fuck a cat? It's here. And, yes, geese too.

The handicapped in the BDSM community are often overlooked and many assume they do not exist. They do. Oh yes.. THEY DO...

it's amazing what this woman does with a potato and a knife and a penis for inspiration

Jojido - The Sexual Martial Art! Use kung-fu techniques to increase the size of your wang. Utilize penis building techniques developed by the ancient samurai.

Darren really deserves butt sex.. Go sign his petition!

Lucy is a very special girl. What makes her so special? Well, the fact that she's a guy is a good start, but that doesn't even begin to explain her. Read the "Diary of an English Lady" for more bizarreness

Oh yeah.. Siege engine dot com All you could ever need to know about siege engines!

If you are fat or left-handed or named Zolp, there could be a scholarship for you.

Regal Cinimas went under??? wow

Ok.. thats a hella long post.. more to come...

ARRRRRR Ye be walkin the plank if ye touch me booty again!

This site is one that I am sure cory will love.. I remember after we had installed icq2000 back when we lived in the duplex and we spent the next couple hours searching for the old version because 2000 sucks my balls

Fuck me.. I just went to drop of a resume at this computer place in town.. I had called into work.. I don't know what I am going to tell them..
But as I get out of my car and start heading into this computer place guess who I see? MY FUCKING DISTRICT MANAGER.. FUCK ME.....
Argh...

I am hoping and praying that I get this job at this local ISP called metalink. Even if its only part time I would rather work at fucking McDonalds to make up the rest of the hours then to keep working at this fucking job selling insurance that I fucking hate more then anything else I have ever hated..

I'm listening to launchcast which I have to say is still fucking awesome.. Their stream is a little funky every now and then, but its cool how it learns my tastes and adapts to me.. As long as you spend some time fucking with it and rateing songs as they come on it will learn and play what you like.. It even just played a soulcoughing song.. Now its bush's come down. And you can choose to mix up Genres. Like I have it playing rock and alternative and blues and 80s music.. Plus a ton of other types.. Its fucking cool

Since the old Camel Toe index died right before I started the site I was sad.. Sites like it are what made me want to start this site.. Finally there is a replacement.. ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a pretty good script review of the upcoming (hopefully) daredevil movie.. Sounds pretty cool!

Blah.. well...
I guess I am going to see what other jobs I can find.. I really really really hope I find something soon.. Its getting harder and harder each day to face this shit..

ARGH

I am looking for The Residents CD called wormwood. I can't fucking find it anywhere..

I went for my second sleep study last night.. I slept with a c-pap machine on me which keeps me breathing throughout the night..
I woke up this morning feeling like I have never felt before in my life.. Its truley incredible when you haven't slept for more then 2 hours in 17 or more years to actually get a full nights rest. The entire fucking world seems different to me..

I have been listening to the residents alot.. I had heard of them before.. Just never really tried them out.. I had heard my good man bnib talk about them on his site awhile back and it got my interest going again..they are really unlike anything else you have ever heard.. Its really cool music..

I also am really enjoying the New cake song "Opera singer" its cool.. The whole comfort eagle CD rocks ass.. and the new ben folds song " rockin the suburbs" is quite cool too..

It would pretty much suck to be out jogging and have a bat fly into your mouth..

Harry Potter porn! Joy! Cept that its hot man on man on broomstick action.. Now if it was him bumping uglys with a chick then we would talk.. Here is also a actual harry potter fanfic page.. I think fanfic can be good sometimes.. Not the sex fanfic.. But stuff that goes to further a series.. I loved the harry potter books and to read more stories about it in the same style is cool with me.. There is alot of great fan fiction out there for whatever series you like.. Starwars, Highlander.. or whateva.. Even if you want erotic wrestling stories involving the two hardy boyz Or Starsky & Hutch erotic fanfic.. Whatever makes you happy... From what I have read male/male or female/female erotic fanfiction is called slash. Male/female is called het. In case you want to go out and search for more..

it looks like a truely great music industry label died. Grandroyal has shut its doors.. You may not know right away who they are.. They are the beastie boys label and they have supported many many great small acts such as Atari Teenage Riot, Scapegoat wax, Branvan 3000, and many others. You can check out the message board post for the offical release....

It finally happened.. God has given a shout out to all his niggas

And suprisingly one mans plan to get laid at dragoncon tragically failed..

Huh.. Mother Theresa had a exorcism performed on here.. Crazy..

Ok.. Heres the deal.. I feel god in my life pretty much every day. I talk to him pretty much every day and try to lead a good life in his eyes. But I am ALL for people believing in whatever they want. I feel that you have to have god on your terms and not anyone elses. I remember when I felt that I had lost god. I remember the night that I found god and started to feel him in my life again. And I thank him every day for blessing me and for watching over me. But this bothers me. I don't like the government coming in my house and telling me what to watch. I SURE as hell don't think they should be involved in my religion at all... WAit.. FUCK ME... FUCK FUCK FUCK... Now I start looking around at this site.. Its whitehouse.org.. Then I read this:
The morning after Jenna Bush spent her first night in Chelsea Clinton's old White House bedroom, a maid discovered that Chelsea had left behind a concealed mattress stash consisting of a Playgirl magazine, a half-used tube of KY personal water-based lubricant, and a pint of Everclear. Mrs. George W. Bush was forced to comfort a traumatized

Then check out their webteam page..

Blasted I've been fooled again.. I guess I kinda took what I knew about his pushing religion and ran with it.. Allthough its a REALLY indepth prank I must admit and definatly VERY funny to read all the little bits around the site you have to catch.. Oh yeah.. and Whitehouse.gov does have a similar page..


Oh well.. I gotta go clean.. I am getting my breathing assistance machine today so I can start actually sleeping and living life.. I talked to the Dr. again this morning after my sleep study and he said that last time I stopped breathing over 800 times and last night ont he c-pap machine I didn't stop at all... I feel so different today...

More later... OH yeah.. the great Jews for Jesus website is back up.. Enjoy kiddies...

This is probably the biggest news I have ever broken!!!

CLICK HERE TO READ A SUPER SECRET REVIEW OF THE PLAYSTATION 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok.. So a priest, a rabbi, and a cow are all drinking in a bar

First I want to post a link to help out all of you poor souls coming here for your free jetson porn.. STILL..... Maybe you can find something here..

I think the longer I have my site the more odd the search requests get.. Lets take a look at some this week:
ponygirls
sex vidoe *Note the spelling on that one*
delux porn
FREE JETSON PORN *maybe typing it in ALL CAPS WON'T BRING YOU TO THIS SITE EVERY TIME*
free flash tentacle rape
and the best for last peepees Someone fucking searched google for PEEPEES

I was just explaining the whole search engine thing to girl and she said that its because my site is gross.. hehehhehe

I love that you guys are actually using the comment system now.. that makes me very happy to hear feedback from you guys!

yEA tHiZ iZ mE, I OnLy GoT 2 FinGerZ oN eACh HanD so gO aHeAd AnD SaY StUpId CoMMEnTs AbOuT It CaUsE It DoNt BoThEr Me. iT JuSt shOwS mE HoW sTuPiD U ReALLy ArE oH yEaH anD, i'M nOt GiFtEd, GoD DiDnT GiVe Me AnYtHiNg SpEcIaL, iM JuSt aNoThEr sPiKy hAiReD KiD = P
Ok... Good so I shouldn't feel bad about making fun of his lobster crippled ass...

Next we have the Cancelled Comic Cavalcade heres a quote "If you were reading comics in 1978, you'll remember the "DC Implosion." DC cut a lot of titles right as they were getting ready to expand their lines, adding both titles and backup features. A bunch of material was ready to go to the printers, but then the axe fell. The result was the two volume Cancelled Comic Cavalcade, which was merely the stories photocopied onto 8-1/2 x 11 pages and bound. Only 35 copies were "printed", but thanks to the magic of the photocopy machine, these babies can be copied and bootlegged. "'
Basically DC did that so they could preserve their copyright on those titles..Definatly a good read!

OH MY GOD!!! MtV's TRL may be rigged?!?!?!? *gasp*!!!!!!!!!

I'm really hoping the IRS check that I should be getting any day next week doesn't bounce like this poor guys...

Stand strong before God! Exercise your way to salvation! Top trainers around the world agree, the NEW CruciFlex 2000 is the best piece of training equipment, bar none! Truly an "Immaculate Contraption!"

This site I am posting especially because of a conversation that girl and cory were having when we were down there visiting..

If you ever plan on moving then this could be a very helpful site for you.. Or if you are just looking for new service in the area you allready live in..

Hmmm Catnip may be just the thing that you need to get rid of those pesky mosquitos

I still love diesel sweeties. I should read it every day!

Check out this really cool little comic Mr. Kevin Smith did about his wife and his first kiss in the new york times.. Pretty cool..

Now this is fucking awesome.. Its a bubble cam! Push the button and a machine in their back yard blows bubbles and you can watch it!

And here is a cool kinky little e-card site.. Check check check it

You may not know what scumware is.. But if you install KAzaa or a ton of other programs you may have it.. CHeck it out..

This my friends could be the only reason to get a Pocket PC device...

Ok.. thats all for now...More tommorow.. sleepy...

Ugh..

I went and had a sleep study done last night.. It was fun. I got to have big patches of my leg hair shaved off, 30 some odd electrodes attached to various parts of my body (Including the 4 glued to my hair and scalp), and then video taped and monitored while I slept. I actually slept rather restful for me. But this morning when they woke me up they told me that I had stopped breathing over 600 times throughout the night. Which is very bad. So I get to start sleeping with a machine attached to me every night for the rest of my life that will help me to breath and sleep better. They say I will find a huge change in alot of things in my life.. I sure hope so. I need it the way I have felt lately..
So thats next tuesday....

As a daily habit I was cruising the want ads today and found this jem of a job:
Chick Sexer Supervisor
Chick sexer supervisor needed to supervise and direct performance of chick sexers. Minimum 2 years experience required. Monday-Friday 9-4. $14.03/hour, $21.04 @ overtime, 35 hours/week. Job in Defiance, OH. Interview required. Call 419-782-7597, ask for Mr. Kim.

If you are good at sexing chicks, or have experience in the chick sexering field. Be sure to apply now!!!

So pretty much just a update... I will try to get a post on tonight..
Oh yeah.. Scott..
Fucking PS2 memory cards..
THE SONY BRAND..
15 fucking dollars
meijers here in defiance
I wanted to kill..
argh..
I think pretty much just girl scott and cory will understand where I am coming from on that... Maybe I will post that exciting story tonight too about my underground mega hax0red PS2 memory piece of fucking shit card...

how can a company as big as Microsoft, be so damn stupid?

ok, so i don't post on my own site, but no one goes to my site anyway (unless you want to play java astroids, that is there)

anyway, its late, and i'm doing what i hate, and that is pay bills. i used to use MS Money 97. it worked real well, and let me see what kind of money i had and could spend. best of all, it wasn't overly complicated.

well, i get me a new laptop from Dell, and they were nice enough (HA!) to give me a copy of MS Money 2001, so i thought i would try it out.

after a full 30 days of use, i can say without a doubt that the software designers at Microsoft are the stupidest bunch of ass kissers in the fucking world.

how they can take such a user friendly program, and then chop it up, and make so god forsaken complex, and confusing is beyond me. i was going to go off on a 15 paragraph bitch fest about what i hate about this stinking pile of dog vomit, but instead, i'm going to go and have another beer, and hopefully passout then dream about some very large man sodemizing bill after the government throughs him in jail for ruining the human expierience.

thank you, and good night

Lets see

For the guy (or girl I guess) out there who was looking for "Pictures of Jetsons ass fucking" on google.. Your in the wrong place.. I only have "Free jetson porn" here...

For the guy who was looking for "animal health tips" I would like to say that I'm sorry..

And for the record. I have never heard of "www.girlsfartingnews.com" nor do I know where you can find "xxx necrophilia" (Editors note: Since necrophilia is by definition "Erotic attraction to or sexual contact with corpses" there really couldn't be any non-xxx necrophilia. I guess this guy got disappointed by all the fan sites for that loveable disney cartoon "The necrophilia gang" ,where in episode after episode those cute scamps would run around and have crazy non-sexual or erotic adventures with corpeses,. that he found when he searched google.

Onwards and upwards!

Looks like they may be making a daredevil movie.. That would be pretty cool..

Microsoft is up to their evil tricks again.. If this is true its just plain wrong...


OH good.. I get to add more to my big list of reasons I FUCKING HATE clowns.. This goes right after ouchy.

Cory Girl and I all watched Rat Race last weekend and it was one of the funniest fucking movies I have EVER seen in my life.. Seth green rocks.. Check out the first of a series of toytoons that he and Conan O'brien are doing together.. Its fucking great.. heres the preview one too

COOL!! A sonic gun that makes mesquitos air bladders burst!

Oh yeah.. Todays BLECH OF THE DAY is a fine piece of choose your own adventure anime tentacle rape porn!

And then we have a fun little photomanipulation page.. make sure to check them all out.. ESPECIALL the potentials and the harry one..

If you ever need any information on the arab gay and lesbian scene then here is your source!

This movie coming out called "Super troopers" looks pretty funny

OK.. thats it for now.. Cleaning time..

Blah

I've been having some really bad days lately..
I'll post sometime soon..

I love silly little flash movies.. They rock

Kinda like this one..

CHeck out the orgasmic calculator..The farting calculator is retarded.. I guess the orgasmic one is too kinda.. but still...

So... Thery're talkinga bout chess being a olympic sport.. what next? Disk ripping??

If you love movie mistakes like me be sure to check out slip ups.THey have TV mistakes too! Sweet!

Thanksgiving is coming quickly.. Perhaps this year you can serve ewok!

I think cory sent me a link about this first He also sent me this link about the fact that our basic physical laws could be broken.. Oh boy.... GO check out his site too! Its coming along.. Does the earth have another moon? Maybe more?? I guesss that just gives us extra targets to point our lazer pointers at... I really don't have alot of hope for that. If you think size wise even if they were .00001 of a degree off thats thousands of miles once you get that far away..

Ok.. you know when you make popcorn? The little half popped kernals at the bottom? Well this company is just selling them! They are yummy but I don't think I would buy just a can of them..

I don't even know what I can say about this site.. Its amazing..

Gadgets for god.. Now you can have your jesus soap dispenser and ten commandments floor mat...

Oh yeah.. Guess what found me today? Thats right.. THe BLECH OF THE DAY da-da-da. But fear not my fearless friends.. The weirdness does not stop there! Check out this site.. Where else could you get art titled "Madge and Bert are Tortured by the Cucumber Demons from Under the Appliances"?? Thats right.. Nowhere except for SPIFFOPOPS!!!

I love the song "Man of constant sorrow" from the movie "O' brother where art thou". Thats such a great movie...

Ok.. Your a vegitarian.. You go to McDonalds and ORDER ANYTHING AT ALL and don't expect there to be meat in it then your a fucking idiot!

Clint Eastwood has lost it..

The onion.. Allways ready to help.. Has a great list of tips on how to keep cool this summer!

I love cryptozoology. Heres proof that we don't know everything about the animals on our planet. The great giant squid has been caught.. Well.. Kinda. Its definatly a big ass squid. I wouldn't want to fuck with it..

I heard or read yesterday the fact that in Wisconsin there is one cow to every two people.. Thats NUTS

A world-renowned Roman Catholic scholar says he has found evidence that the Catholic church sanctioned and blessed same-sex relationships from the Middle Ages to the 19th century.

I wonder if I can get this done even though I haven't lost my penis...

Oky.. thats long enough for now.. Time to clean the house and get ready to go visit all my friends for the weekend...

I just want to get a couple of things straight...

I FUCKING HATE FILEPLANET

The alien ant farm video for smooth criminal makes me want to jump on a car and grab my crotch and scream until the windows blow out..

and pitch black is a FUCKING GOOD MOVIE... I just watched it for the second time..

Thats all.. carry on..

More sings of the end times..

Vibrator cozies.. Display your sex toys with pride.

The stool fairy. Lets all put our poopoo under our pillows!

Bob Dylan Embraces Paganism and Records a Rap CD


Maybe all of those secret recipes just aren't so secret..

Ok.. the last one really isn't that weird.. just a good article I just found..

bye bye...

I made ice tea and forgot my good title I had...

You guys know the drill.. I think of a really good title.. then I forget it.. then I come and bitch about it for the first four sentances of my post..

Girl is napping on the couch.. I'm about ready for bed..

I found this stick figure shooter game again.. So I also had to dig out the videos that this guy had done before.. check em out here and here

I just read on one of my news sites that filming for X-men 2 is going to be starting in March 2002

I don't know if any of you have ever seen the move CUBE.. But if you haven't I suggest you do..Its a little older.. but its mega bad assed.. I just was just reading that they are making a sequal though.. and its kinda scarey.. heres a quote
"Unlike last time though this is a more advanced 'hypercube' which is described as "the mathematical concept of a four-dimensional cube that defies the laws of physics"."
I think they may be calling Gene Ray in as a consultant..

Ok.. beddy time.. everyone should go here and post a bunch.. its todays BLECH OF THE DAY and its interactive.. enjoy!

Night! Oh yeah.. All your smurfs belong to smurf!!!

Reasons I love scott..

Even though his webpage just says asteriods on it now and links to a java game.. He still finds the cool shit..
I love him for this.. I FUCKING LOVE SPACEGHOST and brak is my hero. I want this!

I love cory too. He has been sending me lots of cool shit lately too.. Hopefully I will get it all sorted thru today and posted..
But for now I am sick and mopey. So I am going to watch starship troopers on DVD which girl and I just bought last night..
DVD rocks..

Oh yeah.. I am REALLY excited about the "adult swim" block on cartoon network.. space ghost rocks! And the brak show will kick your collective asses repeatedly

Mooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee ZIG

I really miss All your base.. Those were great times...

MAke sure you go get your free moose pictures...

Scroll down and check out the origami yoda!


Girl and I are going to watch monkeybone today.. I hope its good... Heres a review praising it.. and here is one calling it cinema hell...

Its tommorow.. We watched monkeybone.. It was "ok".. It was different which I apperciate.. I think they expanded scenes help out alot.. Watch them with the commentary on and you will understand his vision for the movie a little more...

Girl and I got a Ice Tea maker for our wedding and I fucking love it.. I am having a big glass right now...

I'm pretty sure I've posted microwave fun sites before.. heres a couple more...

CHeck out the video for The crystal methods "name of the game" vidoe. Nose is my hero..

This is a very nice.. but creepy looking flash site.. very tight..
.
Theres a company called NeXT that made a computer in the shape of a cube and made it out of cast magnesium. So of course any self respecting person would want to burn one.. My friends and I used to steal alot of magnesium from the lab at school and burn it...

I know every fucking one of you wants to know how Heros do it!!!

Everything at jodi.org trips me out.. check out this part of the page I just found.. wwwwwwwww.jodi.org

This is pretty funny.. Romeo and Juliet in L33T

Hmm looks like they may be making a "where the wild things are" movie.. That would kick ass.. thats one of my favorite books..

If you have never been the the antique weirdness homepage.. Be sure to check it out and go thru alot of the pictures.. man.. people used to be fucked up..

ok.. This guy wants to either Kickbox the queen of england or challange her to a math test (no geometry) , all for the crown of canada!!!

I still check out ZOMBOCOM but they never update it.. that makes me sad.. Anything is possible at zombocom!

Thanks to Jack Chick for letting me know its still evil to play D&D..

Looks like George lucas has went back on his choice for a episode II title.. I like the new one better..

I love the guy over at animutations.. I love animutations.. they make me happy.. Check out the brand new one..

Look at your local play house for a performance of the stage version of Debbie does Dallas..

Be sure to check out the COMPLETE list of deviant sexual positions...

Geek horoscopes.. Fun!

This site is really cool. You can go and leave a message out in the ether and tehn someone who goes there later on will get your message.. And you can do the same with URLs.. GO check it..

To help ease the pain of my all your base withdrawel I found this site.. It helps...

In case you were every wondering how to tell if your rectum is inhabited by demons...

I think this guy is getting fired out of some kind of crazy giant water cannon.. Check it out!!

Uhhhhhhhh why are the japanese so weird.. Check out this site of some guy violating girls noses... AHHHHH

Check out todays BLECH OF THE DAY!!!! ITS DISTURBING!! AHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHH GAY SUPERHERO LOVE!!!! AHHHHHHHHH

Man.. This game is really fun.. but quite difficult...

Check out this really cool air hockey game too! They also make a supersweet mingolf game..\

Go here and check out how to make a origami yoda!

Yesterday girl and I watched the coolest saturday monning live action show.. Its called Los Luchadores. They are wrestling superheros.. Go take the Los Luchadores Pledge!!

Here is a picture of a rabbit with a pancake on its head.. Fantastic!

Ok.. thats it for now.. if i'm not updateing constantly then you can at least expect long updates when I do.. anyone want to help out with posting?

Baby.. Will you eat that there snack cracker in your... Special outfit for me? Please?...

I was working on a post with this title earlier today and my computer crashed.. Don't lose hope. I'm still working on keeping this updated.. Anyone out there wanna help and be a guest poster?

Oh man....

Every day I check out the online classifieds in my area to see if there are any awesome jobs for girl to check out.. I was reading today and I found this one.. I'm wondering if she may be interested..
Northwest Corral
God Groomer needed
experience a plus
737-9595

Shit.. I thought I had published this post and I check the site today and its not there. Wel it its now..

Aight.. Lets get it on...

Girls post got a comment. I've posted here probably over 500 times and have got a sum total of 2 comments.. One was from me..
Oh well.. Luckily I love her so I can forgive her...

In the last three weeks I have lost about 30 pounds.. Lets see.. I just get married.. Lose a ton of weight.. Hmmm.. Wonder why...

I watched American psycho yesterday.. It sucked.. Girl and I have been watching TONS of DVDS now that we got our PS2.. DVDS ROCK...

Lets see what I have for links today..

The japanese have to do everything better then us don't they.. Their emoticons kick ours asses...

HOLY SHIT I WOULD LOVE TO EAT THIS FUCKING GIANT CRAB!!!

Hmm.. Is the main character from fight club really calvin?? You be the judge!

Dildos fashioned after human peepees not good enough for you? Then check out this site!

Look out now.. Its JERKING TIME!! JERK IT!

Lets see.. I'm afriand to land this plane.. So I'm going to fly to cuba and land the beyotch upside down..

I love the fatboy slim video for Weapon of choice. It fucking rocks.. Check out all these photoshopped pics over at fark..

Also thru that I found this website.. I can't believe I had never found this before...

Since I gotta match jamie on this one.. I found another "Straight" male's page who dresses up like female super heros... ODD

If you don't want to be a Butte Pirate you could go to weed high just a few miles away..

Ok.. If you REALLY feel you must get wasted from huffing propane.. They would it really be a good time to also light up some pot??

Poor Jeff Probst..

My friends and I used to play with these quite a bit in art class.. but read here on how to make your own taser...

Riiiiiiiiight.. This guy wants to get tiger fur grafted onto him.. Ummm .. This guy is freakish looking.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Proof of a sea monster?? That would rock..

Check out the worst fan fiction in the world...

Heres a picture of all the goonies today..

Domokun.. The japanese farting monster!

These assholes are auctioning off the right to name their child.. I hope it gets named "Myparentsareasswads"

I think hooters waitresses should get a better sense of humor..

Ok this is me.."girl"

Jon decided that I should post...so don't laugh if you don't get it...or the links don't work...cause i've never done any of this. Who's suprised? Ok...first link..uhhh...hang on.

Our first link tonight is a website bringing you the finest in porn movie soundtrack..awwwwwww yeahhhhhhhhh Mmmmmm purple ketchup. Is it good? Is it pink? Check it out for yourself!! Do you need a highly opinionated guest columnist to answer your problems? If so, ask Gary! Cusack Cusack he's our man...well you just check it out for yourself.

Well i'm not Jon so I don't have a blech of a day. Frankly, I don't know what one would be because I don't attract freakish sites like Jon. I think i'm done for now. No laughing at my wonderful post because it was hard for me!!

Ok...Jon refuses to let me post without a blech of the day so one found him for me! Here's your BLECH OF THE DAY!!!

Supper time!

I've been slacking

I know.. I've been a total underachiever. But I got married weekend before last. Had our honeymoon and this weekend we had four of girls cousins spending the weekend, plus girl got me my PS2... But.. I will start trying to update more and more. Work is hectic too..

At least not everyone has been a underachiever...

I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless,but not for long
The future is comin on.

I was going thru my daily reads and I saw on IGN dot com that they had a interview with the Gorillaz on their site.. Cool I say to myself.. After clearing out that damn floating banner ad I click the link and it FUCKING ASKS ME FOR A USERNAME AND PASSWORD AND OFFERS ME TO SIGN UP AND PAY FOR THIER SHIT.
Lick my sweaty nuts IGN. Suck a camels greasy schlong.. To make me feel better heres a article about the gorillaz. And a interview!

But on the upside I did find this linked somewhere.. So its not all bad..

Today I was part of Joels wedding and it was really cool and a total honor to be part of that..
Tommorow is my bachlor party.. Woot


Hmmm. I may have to get a tongue piercing before the wedding..

I'm not sure I trust scientist that quote HP Lovecraft..

I went to the chinese food place the other day and got the buffet and they had chicken nuggets there.. but they really didn't put much effort into their engrish and they labeled them "CHICKEN NUTS". Oddly enough there were very few gone..

Yet another great X-entertainment PokeHunt. Go read!

Uhhh its steve from blues clues personal site. Be sure to check out the hidden link on the bottom left.

oh goodie.. Backdoor boys fan fiction!

Be sure to go get your declassified nuclear expiriment videos today!

Here is a definate way to get people to read your instructions..

This site says that Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa and I FUCKING AGREE!

Todays BLECH OF THE DAY is another fetish that I just don't fucking get! And I will quickly follow that up with your one stop shopping site for furry shit! And uhhh PONYGIRLS

Necrophilia! - A users guide.. BLECH

MMMM this is really good icecream. You want some of it? Oh! My bad.. I didn't realise you were lactose intolarant...

Uhh this freakbox thinks that the 80's show "small wonder" was sexy.. BLECH


Ok.. well thats it for now.. I got my bachlor party tommorow like I said.. I get married next weekend.. So posting may be a *little* sparse.. But I will get on here as soon as I can throughout it all.

Oh yeah.. I got a email from a reader (Which fucking made me very happy. I LOVE FEEDBACK PEOPLE! USE THE FUCKING COMMENTS AT THE END OF EACH POST!!) and they turned me on to a really cool band.. Go check out AbandonedPools I think they are pretty bad assed...

Keep it real!

Cake rocks my ass!

Go download their new song Short skirt Long jacket its fucking awesome..

I used to love The dukes of hazard. I had all their action figures and everything. I used to make my mom be boss Hog though.. I kinda feel bad about that now.. Cause that's the only figure I would ever let her use... Oh that brings up two things in my mind.. The first is action figures. Girl got me the new Spiderman classic figure. It has FUCKING 30 POINTS OF ARTICULATION!!! His fucking hands can pose and his toes can bend. Its fucking incredible! Second thing. The dukes of hazard was a big show in the 80s. I remember it. Hence I remember the 80s. So fuck you guys..

This is the ultimate way to theft protect your PC.

Want to find a clown close to you? I know you do. Maybe this one will be close to you if your lucky and want to scare a lot of little kids..

The largest rock formations underwater ever were found recently. Dubbed the lost city. This is some pretty interesting stuff. Especially that there may be some totally undiscovered life living there.. Cool..

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh I am a mannnnnnnnnnn of constant sorroooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww Oh brother where art thou was a awesome movie and I fucking love that song for some reason..

Scapegoat wax - Aisle 10 (hey Allison) is a fucking awesome song too

Hmmm I wonder if it would be wrong for me to get a prescription for this drug???

Check out this fucking funny Tenacious D music video entitled Fuck her gently

HAHAHHAHA check out this page for all your Dick Cheney news. Is Dick Cheney dead yet?

I used to rave about Anarchy Online. Its seems its REALLY going downhill. Go read this review of it. I fucking love Something Awful dot com

LOBSTER MAGNET!!!!!!!!

Hmmm. You have to be super fucked up to make a web page devoted to your sex toy... BLECH

The fact that anyone ever created something called the recto rotor scares me. Make sure to check out the rest at the Museum of questionable medical devices.

George Lucas In Love is one of the best short movies I have seen in a long time. GO CHECK IT OUT!

Check out this cute site some little kid made dedicated to furby.. wait.. what's that?? SHES 42?!?!?!?!?

Wait for it..... Wait for it.. BAM!!! BLECH OF THE DAY!!!!!!!Be sure to explore and check out the "sounding" gallery....

These are some of the greatest Dilbert comics ever. Actually. I don't think Dilbert would ever really have the phrase "Fatty queercakes" in it.. They still fucking ROCK

Oh look.. Role playing game poems. I mean.. I like role playing games. I like poetry.. But combining the two???

Check out this page too. Make sure to read it carefully. Its called thispagecannotbedisplayed.com as a hint..

Make your own text adventure!!!

And to wrap it all up nicely. I have for you some of the weirdest fetishes I have ever seen. First be sure to check out the sock worship site.. Next we have J.R.R. TOLKIEN FAN FICTION!!! AAAHHHHHHH And finally we have this.. This is weird.. Its a SCUBA/Diving suit fetishist page.. Weird weird weird..

ok.. Well its work time.. More later..

Howdy

I got my laptop from work today. Woot!
So I can post and stuff from work sometimes if it is slow or stuff..

So uhhh the wedding is allmost here.. I'm excited!

Umm not much else.. Running some speedtests here to see what kind of connection I am on here..Seems to be a Frac t1. Not too fast =-(
Oh well.. At least I have the cable modem at home!!!!

Umm
Ok.. I have to go look busy.. hehehe

Hey there Hi there Ho there

I used to be a really big mickey mouse club fan.. Maybe thats part of why I am so fucked up now...

Back in highschool I actually wrote a paper on how the seven deadly sins related to gilligans island.. Its kind of cool find a site pretty much summarizing what I had said way back then..

NEWSFLASH: Angelina Jolie LOVES BEAVER!!!

If you have kids you better learn to talk that jive talk that kids nowadays talk.. Learn how to thanks to Modern Humorist..

Learn to quite masturbating the Mormon way.

Here is a review of AI that is really making me lean towards seeing it..

Well.. I gotta go do some wedding stuff.. Later...

Unbreakable was a really good movie too

Continueing my spree of grand titles for my posts..

I watched it this morning. It rocks... Its kind of.. Slow.. But just knowing that its building for a trilogy makes it ok.. I allready knew the catch.. But the signs were pretty obvious.... Its still a really really good movie.. Now I am going to watch Mars Attacks which is on cable. And then when girl gets here I am going to introduce her to monty python...

Well.. Instead of finding nice links I played racewars and watched Mars Attacks. Its good!!!

I'm quite pleasantly suprised by the movie "What women want"

It was actually quite good.. Girl and I just watched it..

I found a couple cool things that we can do at my bachlor party. What do you think scott?

Go play this game called CATCH THE SPERM!

Holy shit St Paul MN has some of the UGLIEST HOOKERS IN THE WORLD!

I guess this is one way to deal with household pests.

I guess if I was one of those guys who liked to stick things in my ass.. and I had some glow sticks.. then I would do this.. But I'm not...

I wonder if I can master this before the wedding.. Dammit not too much time..

I want to learn to contact juggle.

Night...

I am having a really hard time thinking of a good title for a post.

Jurrasic Park 3 looks pretty bad assed. I'm glad they kept it under wraps so much until it got ready to come out.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Now that I have a cable modem and copious amounts of free time sitting here resting I think I will go to two of my favorite sites today.. Dark horizons and AdCritic. Broadband rocks!

Tori Amos is pretty freaky.. In her next alblum she will be covering Eminim, Slayer, the beatles, and many others.. It will be a very.. Odd alblum to say the least..

Interested in AI (the movie)?? Then be sure to go read the story that inspired it..

I guess this beats the hell out of slow condoms. I would think just picking them up yourself at the store would be easier.. but.. If you get embarassed buying them or something.. Somewhat useful I guess..

Can't get enough tentacle porn?? And I know you can't cause you come here.. Then go learn to MAKE YOUR OWN TENTACLE PORN!!!

Hmmm. William Gibson had written a script for Alien III and it seems badassed. Go read what could have been.

Check it out! The Armageddon Bra warns the wearer of incoming missles!!

Want to join a UFO cult? Well.. If you do then make sure to join the biggest one. Raelians are pretty sweet. They want to clone a human (Infact their labs just got raided by the US Gov't), build a embassy for the aliens, and create UFO land. Fun fun fun stuff to read!

Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen. Do I need to do more then quote the title? And then we have idiots trying to make gasoline fireworks and blowing their damn legs off.. Fuck me. Natural selection I say..

I thought that science hadn't figured out how cats purr. I guess I was wrong..

Learn how to Impale a lobster like a master!

If I got bit on the penis by a snake I would be very upset.

A couple of kids open their own toll booth and make 270 dollars. I think I may do the same. I live on a highway too!

Check out this video of a pissed off baseball player kicking the catcher in the face!!! bad assed!!

Harrison Ford and Sean Connery are both ready for a new Indiana Jones movie. I fucking LOVE indiana jones!

Uhhhhhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiight.. This is just plain weird..

I've been back a couple of days.. and I think its time to bring back the BLECH OF THE DAY!! da da da ANd here is some dragon furry porn to boot! Yay!

I don't know about all of you.. But sometimes I have a bad problem with bleeding nipples. I am ordering a box of these!!! Heres a testomonial from the NipGuard site!
Dear NipGuards, I'd really like to thank you for saving my nipples. Before I discovered NipGuards, my nipples would often become erect and chafe against the jersey I wore for basketball. However, with NipGuards in place, I can play without fear of bleeding, cracking, scarring, or other painful side effects of my nipples. I showed my nipples to all of my teammates and they couldn't believe it! They all ordered some too. So thanks, NipGuards, from myself, my team, and most of all my nipples

Naked molerats ARE PURE FUCKING EVIL

For some reason I have lost the use of my desktop.. Its there.. I just can't click on anything on it.. Dammit...

Nothing is as hot as 8 color C64 Porn!!! NOTHING!

Oh goody.. A website named the Aesthetic meat foundation! JOY OF JOYS!!

Are you a sexaholic?? Then go here for some help.

Oh man.. This interactive ralph wiggum is simply one of the greatest examples of artifical intelligence ever made!!

I fear that Cory is turning into a raver. Hopefully ProjectPLUR can save him before its too late!

When I was in boyscouts the Monkeys Fist was the most sought out knot to know how to tie. It fucking rocks. Its a great know to know how to tie for camping. Plus if you put a nice heavy stone in it you can whack the fuck out of people.. Its fun.. I was one of the only 3 people who knew how to make the knot at camp. It was fun..

Well.. Big brother is back.. It sounds like this season they realised that the only way to make this popular is to relise that SEX SELLS. So hopefully the webstream will be worthwhile this time...Hopefully the won't kick off the interesting and slutty people first...WOAH WAIT! holy fuck there are allready two people sleeping together.. Cam four!!

Make your own fireworks show.. Just be careful George Bush doesn't come and beat you up...

You all should find hours and hours of fun stuff to do at the virtual pig dissection page!! HAVE FUN!!!

*DROOL* I WANT!!

I love multi tools. I want a leatherman wave. I want one of these. I want a spyderco one too. God. I want lots of money to waste..

Ok.. Well I have to go get ready to go to the Dr again.. Girl will be home tonight to help me finish getting better..

OOhh, I have returned.. Yes yes.. with dawn of new layout.
That remind something of me.
Wise man once say, "Build it, they come. Build it better, they come more. Offer free Jetson Porn, they come lots."
Very wise man, yes.
Must remember, true happiness not in heart. It in pants.
Wise man one say, "Bigger the tent, the happier the man."

I leave now, with previous words of wisdom for you. Reflect on them, one day, it will all be clear.

As a added bonus!

Here is a big description of how a spinal tap is done.. and some nice pictures of spinal fluid dripping out of a tap at the end...

Die Hard is such a bad assed movie.

Actually.. This whole being sick and sitting on the couch thing may not be so bad.. I just got done with die hard (which I had honestly forgotten was so fucking ultimately cool) and now starship troopers and the godfather are both on and I don't know which one to watch..

My lower back hurts very much when I sit up like this from the spinal tap that they did on me day before yesterday.. If you ever get asked if you would like to have a spinal tap (Also called a "Lumbar tap" by freak doctors) just say no... It ain't fun... Basically they take this about 3-4 inch needle and jab it into your lower back and feel around until they can plunge it into your spine and they suck out the life sustaining fluids from your SPINAL FUCKING CORD. And definately do not ask to see the needle before they start.. I did.

I have raved about how stuff works dot com before.. They have a section on how waterguns work.. great for some fourth of july reading.. I want to build this one day. It would rock my ass.

I love magicians, and I love self defense. This is perfect!

Seems as though there may be some REALLY hidden files in windows.. May be something to check out..

SAy it ain't so.. Optimus Prime.. Dead?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok.. That wraps it up for me.. My back is hurting really bad right now from the spinal.. I am going to go watch godfather and then try to update in a big again..

Ugh.. Meningetis(sp?) sucks my balls
And I can't even get off with just one thing wrong with me can I? I just got out of the hospital for that.. Plus a urinary tract infection, plus cellulitus on my leg which hurts me very bad still.. So tommorow I go back for a possible blood clot in my leg, and something that "may be" wrong with my liver... JOY.
I will try to post in a bit.. Time to rest..

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

I love how out of my 20 last search engine request here is what I have:
23 Jun, Sat, 20:29:33 Yahoo: jetson porn
24 Jun, Sun, 06:13:39 Yahoo: jetson porn
26 Jun, Tue, 16:45:25 Yahoo: "Jetson porn"
27 Jun, Wed, 02:56:52 Yahoo: "jetson porn"
27 Jun, Wed, 19:48:27 Yahoo: jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 04:55:50 Yahoo: jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 18:20:49 Google: free jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 19:25:26 Yahoo: jetson porn
28 Jun, Thu, 23:29:25 Yahoo: free jetson porn
29 Jun, Fri, 00:27:04 Google: jetson porn
29 Jun, Fri, 02:33:14 Google: furry rape
29 Jun, Fri, 13:02:25 Google: furry rape
29 Jun, Fri, 14:53:57 Yahoo: jetson porn
29 Jun, Fri, 22:53:20 Google: jetson porn

We all know I don't charge for the jetson porn here...

I love you guys!

ARGH I just fucking lost a post again for no fucking reason

ARGH I only had a shitload of shit in that fucking post
dammit

Thank you god for the IE history feature.. Fuck me this post was really long
Things I talked about in the post as I was writing it earlier and the links quick and dirty:

Battle bots rocks 1 million times more now.. Fucking 12 bot battle royals kick my ass!
Mitch Hedberg is one of the best stand up comedians I know..
Gorillaz fucking rock
Blech
Fun!
Bob barker fucking rocks!
Once again humanity shatters another great boundry!
This is the greatest fucking video fucking ever!
Spy shit is fucking cool!
Everyone deserves a good pirate name..
A 15 dollar fresnal lens is a good investment
A cool LAN party tote thingy
At about this point I had made a joke about microsoft and the acapella courts or something...
I really hate when I fucking lose a post. It was that crazy A.I. Site that cory sent me to that stole my post...
I made a crack that I have been away so long that I don't even know who all my base belong to..
Learn to dance gothic..
Golden Girls role playing is just wrong
I'm actually thinking of printing this out and submitting it to some places for work..
Heres some quick sex tips for all you geeks
There was alot more. It makes me sad that I lost it.. Though these links should keep you busy while I am gone tommorow.. Night night.

If I was as smart as this kid I would try to build a nuclear reactor too

I told a ton of people about this article a REALLY long time ago.. and noone believed me and I couldn't find it anywhere.. But I found it again... Go read its terribly interesting!

I think I may join this..

STOP SEARCHING THE INTERNET FOR FREE JETSONS PORN!!

Besides.. Its right here!

I have a new found respect for MySimon...

Make sure you take a few minutes out of your busy day to take the Contemporary Christian music test. I never knew Earth Wind and Fire was evil..

I see alot of fucking nuts shit on the interweb.... But.. I honestly think all of the dolphin shit I find is some of the most fucked.. I now am learning how to shapeshift into a dolphin.. I should have this completed before next week...

Noooooooo dear god.. Not Paula Poundstone.. Say it ain't so!

If you are on a broadband connection at work then check out this fucking tight ass speed test..!

I found out today why cats lick themselves...

Their fucking delicious!

You know those corny java applets that let you drag the clothes off girls and see their boobies.. Well here is one for britney spears!

Can't take the normal boring news headlines? Then how about getting them in haiku form! Pretty cool I guess!

Do your current benefits at your job suck?? No paid time off for vacation? Then use this handy little page to help yourselve get carpel tunnel faster so that you can hook up with the workmans comp and get some nice vacation time off...paid of course..

I got plenty of respect for anyone nutty enough to fucking launch himself into space.. Go man go!

YAY! Those marketing smart guys over at realdoll are coming out with a male realdoll with INTERCHANGEABLE PENISES!!!

Just what the world needs at this point. A site with pictures of naked girls holding a cat???? ahhhhh

Oh god this is tooooooo fucking cool!!!!!!!! Scott is going to fucking LOVE THIS!!! And here and here are some other sites you will enjoy if you liked that one!

Thor. The nordic ROCK AND ROLL GOD!

Click here to see a picture of one of the guys from ZZTop floating around in the vomit comet (That plane that can simulate zero gee) Read the article by Penn Jillette who was there too.. Also go spend some time at SinCity.. Penn and Tellers offical site.

Well.. Thats its for tonight.. Enjoy. The comment thing works at the end of the post too.. Comment what color you think the visited link color should be....

Its howdy doody time!!!!!!

hi.... Oh god... I am fucking tired.. I started writing shit and all I did was write the same word over and over and over again.. Let me start again and pretty much just ignore this part..

Hi! I'm Jon McClure. You may remember me from such webpages as JonsNews and Bikini Girls take on the world..

right.. anyway.. As you can see.. The page is back up.. Not perfect by a long shot.. But its fucking BACK UP. Nevermind Mr. T up there.. His purpose is clear..

I'm excited. I missed doing it... Heres what you can expect from me:
links.
Inane banter
Foolishness.
Long ranty shit
poor spelling and grammer at times
The funniest shit on the internet found as only I can
Furry tentacle rape pictures
pretty much everything I hope you have grown to love and miss

I will do bits and pieces with the layout. Fuck.. If anyone has a better layout idea send it to me..

Things I need:
Help. I need some fucking KICKASS people to help me keep shit up. Just one or two that can find crazy shit on the net. If your interested lemme know or something.. If not I will just keep doing it myself oldschool solo style.

its about.. 3am right now.. I have to fucking drive to toledo at about 8.. that means I have to be awake in about 4 hours..

Heres some updated shit with what had been happeneing to me.
In april I quit my old job of doing tech support. It was driving me nuts and I wanted a change. I promptly moved up to stay with Girls family until I got settled in. I spent about a month and a half unemployeed. Unxmaal was right.. I should have had a job lined up before I quit. I just couldn't take it anymore though.. I searched for jobs. Anything tech.. One allmost panned out doing nt admin for some bank shit.. Would have been a tight job.. If I knew more about the networking side of NT or something.. Fast forward a few more weeks.. Being unemployeed sucks.. No money...wedding zooming up on us fast.. I get a call from someone at western southern life insurance.. I interview.. It went well. Blah blah blah.. So now I am liscensed to sell insurance in the state of Ohio and I work for western and southern.. Pretty crazy shit of paradigms.. But I am excited as fuck and I am loving this job..
During that whole process I had dial up.. Yeah.. I couldn't stand viewing webpages so I didn't.. Then TODAY I GOT MY CABLE MODEM. Yeah.. you know what that means.. Jons mother fucking back..
Anyways..... Enough with the jibba jabba.. On with the links!

I know awhile back I mentioned the dustin diamond teaches chess video. And I know you have been asking yourselves every fucking day.. When the hell is jon going to come back so we can have some VIDEOS OF SCREECH TEACHING ME HOW TO PLAY CHESS????? Right now my friends.. Right now...

I'm all for wrestling. I love it.. Its great.. But.. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING REDNECK WOULD BUY THIS???

Rgiht.. With this quote on the front page need I add my own bit to it? ""THE #1 MOCK MAIL ORDER BRIDE/ ASIAN PORN SPOOF SITE IN THE WORLD!"

Oh yeah.. You must have our alma mater.. You got to have our alma mater.. (uhh I think thats how the begining of "My ding-a-ling" goes). For those of you keeping score at home.. Thats 1 furry tentacle rape site so far...

For those of you who can't wait the few scant years till they are official legal here is all the mary kate and ashely olsen porn you could want. Which personally is none. but...


Blech.. (2 folks.. Count em'.. Two...)

Snakeproofing.. The act of PAYING SOMEONE TO HAVE YOUR DOG BITTEN REPEATEDLY BY RATTLESNAKES.. This distubes me..

This too disturbs me.. Take, eat; this is my body. (mathew 26:26)

I honestly liked jar jar.. But I know enough people that would still get a kick out of this.. By the way any of you heard anything else about that crazy Episode one rouge edit out there??

I know to finish this all up you all would LOVE some knight rider fan fiction.. eh? come one.. admit it.... ok.. fine.. Here.. You can have it!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH