10.03.2000

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines !

Napster Hearing Ends Without Decision
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Controversial song-swap company Napster (news - web sites) Inc.
seemed to strike an upbeat chord in federal appeals court on Monday as a three-judge panel
decided to allow the popular service to continue, pending further deliberations.

Due to the fairness and impartiality that is so strongly prevelant here at JonsNews, we must make
note that 2 weeks ago 3 new users were added to the Napster Network: Judgetrader, Gavelhead and
Sweetgodthisisagoodwaytogetmusiciamvotinginfavorofnapsterinthiscase have been generating a lot
of mp3 movement over the Napster network and this past weekend accounted for nearly 30% of Napster's
total estimated bandwidth usage.

Xerox Sees a Loss, Cites Slack Sales
Xerox Corp. , the world's No. 1 photocopier company, said on Monday it expected a third
quarter loss instead of a profit, citing much weaker-than-expected sales in North America
and Europe and heavy competition in all businesses.

Xerox spokesperson Elisa Fruzen said, "That if revenue continues to decline our president is prepared to start
copying the money the company still has with Xerox's new Fiery 4 laser copier." She went on to claim that,
"although the coins will present some trouble, we at Xerox will have no trouble copying the true greenbacks and
quadrupling our profits almost on an hourly basis."

Germans Celebrate a Decade Back Together
DRESDEN, Germany (Reuters) - Germans celebrated their first decade as a reunited nation Tuesday
as the stroke of midnight sounded the 10th anniversary of the end of nearly half a century of Cold War partition.

The crowd gathered was large enough to frighten nearby France into immediately surrendering to the
partying group. French Head of State, Jacques Chirac, was quoted as saying, "We really messed up
last time dragging out the inevitable. So we are just going to lie down and take it this time around."
Soon after Belgium, who had declared their neutrality during WW2 as to not be a staging point for
French/German fighting called France, "a bunch of fat-neck cowards."

In an attempt to save some face France fired back with snotty "you suck" chants directed at
Belgium but had little affect and then exhausted surrender to Belgium as well.

No comments: