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More Fun with Headlines !

Wal-Mart Shuts Online Shopping Site for Remodeling
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CHICAGO (Reuters) - Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the world's largest retailer, has shut its online
shopping site Walmart.com for a few weeks for remodeling, according to a note to
customers posted on the company's Web site.

``As part of this process, during the first week in October, we will close our virtual doors for
a few weeks,'' the note read. ``This temporary measure will enable us to provide you with
an improved store designed to meet your needs for an easier, more pleasant shopping
experience this holiday season.''

Officials at Bentonville, Arkansas-based Wal-Mart could not be immediately reached for comment.

--- We here at JonsNews found out the real reason for the closing is that their online store was
actually running off of one of the Wal-Mart demo PC's in the electronics department of the
Johnsonville, Iowa Wal-Mart. 13-year old Mark Hitchen was able to figure out the password to
the system and deleted all of their items for sale, except for condoms and Snicker bars.

Connecticut Probes Complaints Against Priceline
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HARTFORD, Conn. (Reuters) - Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal said on Saturday
he was investigating consumer complaints against Priceline.com Inc. (NasdaqNM:PCLN - news),
the Internet commerce firm that allows people to name their own prices for such products
as airline tickets and gasoline.

--- After some investigation on this subject, I was able to find out that the real reason behind this action is
that someone keeps logging onto priceline and is entering 50 cents for Attorney General Richard Blumenthal's wife.

William Shatner, spokes-singer, for Priceline and satisfied Priceline user, defends the sites ability to offer great
values. "I got a great deal on my weave from Priceline," said Shatner at a press conference on Friday.

SPACE.com to Lay Off 20 Percent of Staff
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NEW YORK (Reuters) - SPACE.com, the Internet media venture founded by former CNN Moneyline host Lou Dobbs,
says it will lay off 22 workers, or 20 percent of its staff, ironically enough for taking up too much space, in a push to turn
profitable sooner than previously planned and achieve Dobbs' goal of diversifying beyond the Web and making use
of a lame ass website name that Dobb's spent a bundle on 6 years ago and has turned out to be more worthless
than a mirror for a blind person.