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I decided to make a post today making fun of Ohio. Not only Ohio, but stupid Ohio laws. These laws were made way back when and have not been updated or amended. Basicaly due to laziness and no one really cares. So, if you decide to, or break any of these laws, you MUST go to the nearest police station and turn yourself in, so the local police officer and laugh in your face and send you home.
1. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
(Well, I guess I wasted my money on a harpoon and tickets to Sea World for this Sunday then... I was hoping to have Shamu stuffed and on my way by Easter.)
2. Woman are prohibited to wear patent leather shoes in public.
(This is to keep people from seeing what they have on, or don't have on under their skirts. HA!! Woman wear worse things than this all the time.. miniskirts that show everything, shirts that are held together by a string. To keep up with the times this should be changed to "Any cross-dressing man shall not wear patent leather shoes in public... uuugg)
3. Breast feeding is prohibited in public.
(Well.. we won't go there)
4. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
(Why in the world would this be a law in the first place. I mean some numbnuts have to have gotten a fish drunk and caused a scene for this to even hit the books.)
5. In Cincinnati, Pornographic Magazines are banned.
(This was instated because of my personal god Larry Flint.. you rock man)
6. It is also Illegal to have anal intercourse in Cincinnati.
(Sorry homos, you have to move somewhere else.)
7. In Marion, Ohio, you are not allowed to eat a doughnut and walk backwards down a street.
(I bet some stupid cop ruined it for the rest of us... DAMN YOU!!)
8. To go along with #2, in Ironton, Ohio, cross dressing is illegal.
9. A policeman is allowed to bite a dog to quiet him in Paulding.
(But, is he allowed to bite a dog while walking backwards??)
10. And one of my favorites.. (drum roll please).. In Columbus Ohio.. it is illegal to sell Corn Flakes on Sunday.
(Well, I guess I won't be buying cornflakes on my trip to kill Shamu then...)

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